


Autumn's Eyes

by PettyMindedSneak



Series: Stone Angels [2]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Death, F/M, Interracial Relationship, M/M, Murder, Post-Canon, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-09-06 02:48:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 125,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8731912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PettyMindedSneak/pseuds/PettyMindedSneak
Summary: Sequel to Stone Angels: Summer's BloodRunning parallel to and beyond the events in the Twilight Saga, the vampire Nathan and his mate Aeva try to make life work. They end up playing a game with much higher stakes than Edward and Bella could have ever imagined. When you have enough time to build a life together, it just means there's more to lose when the axe comes down. It doesn't help when another coven has to sacrifice your family to save their own.





	1. Married

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend celebrates an old friend.

###  _Edward_

         We were watching Emmet and Jasper wrestle in the back yard of our new home in Forks, Washington. We had lived there many years before, but we had built a brand new house. So it wasn’t a new _home_ , per say, but it didn’t matter. We kept ourselves entertained in Forks the same way we’d done everywhere else: pitting our brothers against each other just to see it happen. Emmet was huge and his strength would have crushed Jasper, but Jazz was quick and strategic and so it was an even fight. I was sitting with Alice, lounging in deck chairs while we took in the spectacle. After a few more moments of lazy entertainment, Rosalie came out of the house and walked over.  
  
         “Here,” she said, handing a small envelope to me. “It came for you in the mail.”  
  
         “Who would write to you?” Alice asked, and Emmet laughed from the head lock Jasper had him in.  
  
         “I do have friends, you know,” I muttered as I tore the letter open. Alice rolled her eyes.  
  
         “I know, it’s just that you don’t get mail that often,” she grumbled. “It came out wrong.”  
  
         I let her keep her grimace as I pulled the card from the envelope. It was dark green and crème with a detailed border of tiger lilies painted around the delicate, scrawling calligraphy. I was unfamiliar with the hand writing, but there was a scent on the note that I recognized instantly. I quickly scanned it and couldn’t help but laugh.  
  
         “What is it?” Rose asked, sitting down beside us.  
  
         “It’s a save the date card,” I replied, handing it to her. “An old friend is getting married.”  
  
         “Nataniel Björn Evanov-Wulff and Aeva Maria Luisa Ramón Sanchez,” Rose read. “That’s quite the mouthful. August 25th: save the date. This is the friend of yours that visited us back in Alaska, right? Who’s the bride? There’s no picture of the happy couple.” She checked the back of the card as Alice took the envelope from me.  
  
         “There’s another letter in here,” she said, tugging a folded sheet of yellow paper out. Rose took it from her, but I snatched it out of her hands.  
  
         “It was addressed to me, thank you,” I sneered, smiling at the obscenities Rose was thinking. I read the note to myself:  
  
         **_Dear Edward,  
  
         Consider this card an invitation to the ceremony for you, Esme, and Carlisle. I wish I could extend the invitation beyond the three of you, but you already know why I can’t do that. If you choose to attend, please don’t tell Carlisle or Esme about her until you’re on your way; the walls in your home have ears. I hope to see you in August. We’ll work out plans later if you choose to come.  
  
         Yours, Nathan._**  
  
         “Why can’t we come?” Alice asked, reading over my shoulder. “And why can’t you tell Carlisle and Esme right away?”  
  
         “Well that’s between he and I, isn’t it?” I said, snapping the note shut and tucking it back in the envelope.  
  
         “Wait, are you going to a party without us?” Emmet asked, flopping down in front of us as Jasper seated himself on the arm of Alice’s chair. They seemed to have abandoned their wrestling match when they lost their audience.  
  
         “Yes,” I replied, smiling slightly. “My friend is getting married.”  
  
         “That Nathan guy? He was nice.” Emmet stuck his hand out toward Rose and she handed him the card. “I didn’t know you two were on wedding-attendance terms.”  
  
         “We were very close for a while,” I muttered. Jasper looked at me out of the corner of his eye.  
  
         _Embarrassment?_ He thought at me.  
  
         I shook my head at him and he shrugged, deciding to leave it alone.  
  
         “How much older than you is he?” Alice asked, taking the note and looking it over.  
  
         “Much older. He’s actually a bit closer to Carlisle’s age,” I replied. “I think maybe eighty or ninety years younger than him.”  
  
         “Was he gifted?” Jasper asked, seeming politely intrigued.  
  
         “Oh, yes,” I laughed, remembering how it worked. “His gift was magnificent; one of the reasons Viktor was so proud of him. You see, he can look at people and know their histories, their life story. He thinks it came from this thing where, as a human, people would just tell him things. Now he doesn’t have to wait around for it.”  
  
         “So he just looks at you and knows everything about you?” Emmet asked, sitting up and seeming slightly alarmed. "Did he do that to us when we met him?" They weren’t quite getting it, so I tried again.  
  
         “He doesn't know everything, it’s more basic than that,” I explained. “He’ll know any part of your life that you found significant. But, at the same time, whenever you speak to him, he’s involuntarily checking everything you say against your past. It makes him very hard to lie to.”  
  
         “Cool,” Emmet said appreciatively. “I wonder who would be harder to lie to, you or him? I mean, he can see it in your past and you can see it in your head.”  
  
         “We were always pretty evenly matched.”  
  
         “So how do you two even know—Oh,” Alice said, her face suddenly blank. I saw the vision in her head; tall, male, vampire, angry, front door.  
  
         “Viktor,” I snarled before tearing through the back door and into the house. The others were in hot pursuit, but just as we got there, Carlisle was opening the front door and in stormed Viktor. He was just as I remembered him: Tall and slimly built, but broad in the chest and shoulders. His perpetually neat black hair was swept back as usual, with the touch of gray at the temples. His dark stubble hung on his proud jaw line with his pronounced nose and heavy brow giving him a distinctly European look. Where he usually wore a regal expression, now his thick brows were so closely knit they were almost a solid line; his mouth was pressed into a sharp sliver; his red eyes gleamed under his heavy lids; his hands were clenched into fists and he looked furious.  
  
         “Vitkor,” Carlisle said, brows knitting together. “What’s wrong?”  
  
         “That boy is an _idiot_ ,” he snapped. “I specifically told him not to invite any vampires and vhat does he do? Disobey me! I don’t know vhy I expected any different from him; he has alvays been a little nius—“  
  
         “Viktor, what exactly are you talking about? Told him not to invite any vampires to _what_? I assume we’re speaking about Nathan?”  
  
         “Carlisle,” I interjected, tapping his shoulder. “I believe Viktor is here about this.” I slipped the save the date card out of the envelope and handed it to him. He read it over quickly and his eyebrows shot up, mouth smiling immediately.  
  
         “Nathan is getting married? That’s wonderful news! I didn’t think you two were the sort to marry your mates. Is this Aeva even his mate?”  
  
         Vitktor’s angry visage faltered at that and he looked at me. I stared straight back, keeping my face expressionless, and he understood.  
  
         “Yes,” he said, tone much calmer. “As much as I dislike the arrangement, she is his mate.”  
  
         “Do you dislike the girl?”  
  
         “Not at all.”  
  
         “I’m afraid I’m lost, Viktor. Would you like to come sit down? I feel like there’s quite a bit to talk about here.”  
  
         Vitkor was now fully ignoring Carlisle, facing me directly. “Who did he invite?”  
  
         “Myself, Carlisle, and Esme,” I replied.  
  
         “You have not shared anything vith your father. Have you shared vith anyone else?”  
  
         “Absolutely not.”  
  
         “Please keep it that vay.”  
  
         “Of course.”  
  
         He turned and gave Carlisle a terse nod before vanishing. I had forgotten what an unnerving individual Viktor had always been; it was strange that his appearances and disappearances used to seem normal.  
  
         “What is he talking about?” Carlisle asked, voice very quiet. He had clearly understood there was a secret buried in the confusion. “What’s wrong with Nathan’s mate?”  
  
         “Nothing is wrong with her,” I replied. “He asked me to tell you once we were already on our way. Will we be going?”  
  
         “Of course,” Carlisle said, his smile returning. “We should celebrate with our old friend.” He patted my arm and walked back to his office where he’d been before. I had never explained to Carlisle what the nature of my relationship with Nathan had been; he never understood that I hadn’t merely jumped covens when I’d run away all those years ago. If he did, he would probably caution me not to go to the wedding at all. As it was, I was the only person in my family that knew and I owed that in part to Viktor. I had never warmed to him in the five years I’d lived with he and his son, but he had never told Carlisle what Nathan and I used to do.  
  
         I wasn’t sure how I felt about going to Nathan’s wedding. The thing that bothered me most wasn’t even that he planned to marry a human; it was that he’d found his mate. I didn’t want to listen to the same thoughts that had run through Carlisle or Jasper or Emmet’s heads run through his. Males in a mated pair were insufferable at the beginning. It wasn’t really the beginning for them though. Nathan had been with his human for longer than my family had lived in Forks. If he was wrong about her, he would have surely left by now. I hoped he wasn’t being coerced into marrying the human; perhaps she wasn’t his mate at all, but he figured one human’s life wasn’t so long to wait. I could hear that much in his head if I went to the wedding. I knew I was pointedly ignoring every thought he’d had about her when he'd last visited. I knew I was ignoring the rush of feelings Jasper told me Nathan had when she’d answered his phone call: his swell of longing and adoration and amusement…and love, strong enough to reach through three stories and affect my brother.  
  
         I was deluding myself into believing that even though his thoughts and feelings had aligned perfectly that he might not _really_ love her. I knew I would be walking into his wedding secretly hoping I wasn’t lying to myself; that maybe I was right.  
  
         Alice’s mind was on the periphery of my consciousness, but it leapt to the front as she had a vision: I was sitting in a chair in a suit, Nathan seated beside me. We were both leaned forward, elbows on knees and heads close, clearly having a conversation. He had a ring on his finger and a party was carrying on around us; we were at his wedding reception.  
  
         “Are you enjoying yourself though?” He asked.  
  
         “Yes. I like listening to people’s thoughts here,” I said, glancing at the people around us. “Everyone is so…genuine. I actually wish Jasper could be here; there’s a lot of happiness in this room that he would love to soak up.”  
  
         “That’s good to hear. I’m glad they’re not all just pretending to have a good time.”  
  
         He smiled at me then and I lunged, grabbing his head between both my hands and crashing my mouth into his. He snarled and leapt to his feet in surprise, shoving me away. Viktor and Carlisle appeared immediately, both locking their arms around their respective sons from behind. The humans looked terrified as we were separated, Nathan glaring at me as he was dragged backward.  
  
         The vision ended and Alice asked a one word question in her head. _Edward_?  
  
         I didn’t go to her to explain. I didn’t ever want to address what she had just seen. I ran from the house and into the woods. Vampires like Nathan and Viktor—what were known as ‘true vampires’—didn’t use categories or definitions for other vampires with regard to sexuality. The concept of sexuality or orientation were nonexistent in their worlds. Vampires simply paired off; it didn’t matter who with. To them, Nathan and I being together was nothing out of the ordinary; it was just a standard companion arrangement. My family members were non-standard and stationary; we were involved in human affairs. My family understood what ‘gay’ was. They didn’t put much stock in it, but they knew what it meant and it certainly did color their understandings of certain humans. In that flash of a vision, Alice’s thoughts about me had shifted ever so slightly.  
  
         To be fair, so had mine. Was I really going to be so distraught at that wedding that I would just kiss Nathan in front of all his guests like that? I supposed I would have to wait and see. My decision to accept the invitation had not wavered. The wait until it was time to actually go felt like nothing.  
  
         Nathan had asked that Esme, Carlisle and I arrive early. He thought that if we were already seated when the other guests arrived, they might not bother us with quite so many questions. Carlisle and Emse responded with a fair bit of shock when I told them that Nathan’s mate was human, but it was tempered mostly with curiosity. They weren’t feeling any of the dread that I was, and that was good at least. It wouldn’t be fair to give them _three_ lousy wedding guests.  
  
         Nathan and his human had been very careful in their planning so as not to catch any of us in the sun; they were having an evening wedding and all the other guests were at a pre-ceremony dinner. August in Pennsylvania was notably less overcast than August in Forks, so they’d needed to make adjustments. It was five o’clock when we pulled up to the church. A group of women in dark green dresses with lovely, styled hair were walking up to the doors. Their thoughts were in Spanish, but their words were mostly English. As Carlisle put the car in park I got out, opening the door for Esme. One of the women in the group, the youngest aside from a toddler balanced on someone’s hip, turned to look at us.  
  
         “Oh my god,” she said, staring unabashedly. All the other heads turned to follow her line of sight and their mouths dropped open, all except for one: the woman with the toddler. She had a broad smile on her face and was not in green, but a pair of sweat pants and a tee-shirt instead.  
  
         “Frida, take your daughter,” she commanded, handing the toddler off to a woman that looked very much like her. She pushed her way out of the group and crossed to us, positively beaming.  
  
         “Hi,” she said, her voice warm. “I’m so glad you came! Nathan’s going to be thrilled.”  
  
         “We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Carlisle said, extending a hand. “You’re Aeva, I presume?”  
  
         “Yes, and you’re Carlisle?” She took his hand in both of hers and did not flinch at the temperature. Carlisle, however, did. He also seemed shocked when she leaned forward, putting a hand on his left cheek and lightly kissing the right.  
  
         “And this must be Esme,” she continued confidently, turning her bright smile on my mother.  
  
         “Yes, and it’s lovely to meet you.” Esme leaned forward, also receiving a kiss.  
  
         Then Aeva looked at me. She was a very pretty human. Her happy, black eyes were framed with long, dark lashes. Her smile was straight and bright white, her joy almost palpable.  
  
         “You’re Edward,” she said, shaking the hand I’d offered. Her hands were hot. It was all but scalding as she pressed one to my face, lightly tapping my cheek with her rose petal lips.  
  
         _Nathan told me to give you a message_ , she thought, letting me go. _He said to let you know that he checked it out and you’re all good. You won’t burst into flames when you go inside._  
  
         I couldn’t help but laugh and she smiled wider, crinkling her nose. “Oh my gosh,” she laughed. “You really can do that. That’s terrifying. I mean it’s great, also. But that’s terrifying!”  
  
         “What?” Esme asked, clearly confused.  
  
         “Nathan has already informed Aeva of my—“  
  
         “Superpower,” she finished. “Anyway, let’s get you all inside before the clouds clear! There’s not much sun left, but I don’t want to risk anything.” I could sense that Aeva’s body was responding to our presence as it should: her heart rate had increased and her pupils had dilated slightly. But her thoughts were calm. She trusted us entirely as she led us past her family and into the church.  
  
         “Go get ready,” she called to the group. “And don’t stare, it’s rude.”  
  
         “Hurry up then,” an older woman called back. “You still have to get dressed!”  
  
         Aeva ignored her family and led us into a huge room with stained glass windows on either side, depicting various scenes from the bible in vivid colors. There were very few decorations in the room, which I found odd. Alice would never have stood for it. The few additions that were present were bouquets of vivid orange lilies and marigolds across the altar at the front and unlit candles in jars all along the aisle.  
  
         “It doesn’t look like much right now,” Aeva said, gesturing to a pew at the front, right side of the room. “But trust me, it’ll look cool when things get started. Dinner will wrap up at about seven, people will show up here after that, and the ceremony is at eight. Can I get you all anything while you wait?”  
  
         “We’ll be fine, thank you,” Carlisle answered. “Is Viktor around though? Could I speak with him?”  
  
         “I’ll send him your way,” she replied, smiling wide. She shook our hands again and then left the room, walking back to the women she’d left, I was sure. I didn’t really want to speak to Viktor, so I searched the entire range of my mind, looking for Nathan’s thoughts. I found him quickly.  
  
         “I’m going to speak to Nathan before the ceremony,” I announced, getting back up from the pew. “I’ll be back shortly.”  
  
         I walked through the door Aeva had left through and found a staircase down into the basement. Under the church were a series of rooms, clearly used for preparations, Sunday school, and choir robe storage. I found Nathan’s scent and followed it to a room on the opposite end of the building from where I could hear Aeva and her family. He knew I was coming, since he could hear my footsteps, so I didn’t bother knocking. I just walked straight in and found him standing there in jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, staring at a collection of ties laid out on a table. He ran his fingers over each one in turn, weighing the pros and cons in his head.  
  
         _This print is nice, but I prefer solid ties. This one isn’t the right color green though…Hey, Ward…I’m not wearing paisley; why is this one even here?_  
  
         His greeting was so casual and relaxed that it made me smile. He was completely at ease around me.  
  
         “Hey Nathan,” I replied. “You should stop fussing with all of those. You’re going to ruin the silk.”  
  
         “I just want to make sure I look nice,” he sighed, turning to face me.  
  
         “You haven’t tried very hard so far,” I teased, walking around him in a slow circle. “The hoodie is an interesting choice.”  
  
         “I don’t want to wrinkle the suit,” he laughed, shooing me away. “I need to impress her, so I made sure to look as disappointing as possible this morning. She did the same thing. I smell her on you. Did you see her?”  
  
         “I did,” I admitted, hiding my annoyance at the truth of his statements. He had smelled her on me as soon I’d gotten close enough and his mind had lit up. “What would you like to know?”  
  
         “Is she happy with how her hair turned out?”  
  
         His question made me laugh; I couldn’t help it. “Has she been worried about that?”  
  
         “Yes,” he said seriously. “Her hair is a very big deal to her right now. She’s grown it very long and she’s going to cut it next week. She told me she wants it to look good in pictures today so that if it gets ruined at the salon, she’ll have happy memories.”  
  
         “I thought her hair looked very nice,” I said, still hiding my irritation. It had continued to grow, even under my amusement. “She wasn’t thinking about it when she saw us though, so I’m not sure about her opinion.”  
  
         “She liked it, then,” he said, smiling and turning to look in the mirror behind himself. “If she didn’t, she would have been thinking about it.”  
  
         I would have been alright with it if I could say hearing about his human annoyed me because she was vain and petty for fixating on her hair. I knew I was in fact the one being petty, though, because Nathan’s thoughts had explained things more thoroughly. Her fixation on her hair was an abnormal occurrence; she usually didn’t pay much mind to how she looked but, for the wedding, she was aiming to resemble Frida Kahlo. She just wanted to be authentic.  
  
         She also truly had tried to look terrible earlier that day; I’d seen the memory replay in Nathan’s head. She hadn’t changed out of her pajamas or brushed her hair all morning while she and Nathan were together; he’d messed up his hair to match her bed-head. It was so playful and sweet that it made me sick. I was annoyed at the utter lack of conflicting emotions in Nathan’s head. He was so certain of himself, his human, and this decision to marry her.  
  
         “Would you like any help getting ready?” I asked.  
  
         “Pick my tie,” he groaned. “Please. Just do it for me.”  
  
         “I’ll do one better,” I grinned, taking out my phone and dialing Alice’s number. She answered before the first ring, a classic psychic trick.  
  
         “The dark green one,” she said, not waiting for my question. “With the diamond texture. Matching pocket square.”  
  
         “Thank you,” I laughed.  
  
         “Not a problem! Also, tell him her hair is going to look _amazing_.”  
  
         “Will do.” I hung up and looked at Nathan, who was already picking up the appropriate tie. He’d heard everything, of course.  
  
         “Anything else I can do for you?”  
  
         “No,” he said, turning to me with a wide grin. “Thank you for coming, though. It means the world.”  
  
         “Aeva said as much.”  
  
         We talked for a few moments longer before I wandered back to the chapel and took my place in our pew again. Carlisle and Esme were off somewhere speaking to Viktor and so I was left alone with my thoughts. My whole family called it ‘brooding,’ but that was unkind. I was only thinking.  
  
         Nathan was about to marry a human. She knew what he was and somehow, everyone was alright with it. _Viktor_ was alright with it. Carlisle certainly didn’t see any danger in it, at least not that he bothered to think about when he was near me. I knew it was bad and I willed myself to consider the fact that Aeva was a human to be my biggest objection. I knew it wasn’t though.  
  
         My biggest objection was that Nathan had found his mate. It wasn’t even that I wanted Nathan back; I just didn’t want anyone else to have him. But she had him now. They'd only been together for just over half the time he and I had been and here I was at their wedding. It was ridiculous. He was committing his existence to her and he didn’t even care about marriage! He’d said as much when he was with me.  
  
         He could never understand why I still gave such weight to human rituals as a vampire. Here he was though, getting married! Admittedly, it was to a human, so a human ritual made sense. He’d changed his mind though. He’d changed quite a bit since I knew him. Aeva had a different version of Nathan than I’d gotten; I wondered at which one of us actually knew the truest version of him. Obviously, it was possible to change and grow, but everything he valued had shifted. Was finding a mate truly _that_ earth shattering?  
  
         “How was Nathan?”  
  
         Carlisle and Esme had returned to their spot beside me. I realized the room was significantly darker than it had been before; I had no idea how long I’d been thinking.  
  
         “He was fine,” I replied, smiling. “Alice and I helped him pick a tie. You’ll see it.”  
  
         “I should hope so,” Carlisle laughed. “Are you alright?”  
  
         “I’m fine,” I sighed, registering that humans had started coming it. It was just about seven fifteen. “Carlisle,” I said quietly. “Is it wrong that I wish this wasn’t happening?”  
  
         “What do you mean?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.  
  
         “I’m happy that they have each other, but I wish they didn’t have to be together,” I explained. He and Esme were both looking at me with matching expressions; they were all empathy and earnestness. I couldn’t let them down by confessing how juvenile my thought process was, so I lied instead. “It’s just going to be so difficult for them. Being with a human must be incredibly difficult.” Carlisle smiled.  
  
         “That’s not wrong,” he replied. “That’s compassion; it’s concern for a friend.”  
  
         “And yes, they certainly have a difficult road ahead,” Esme added. “But we spoke to Viktor. They have plans laid out for worst case scenarios. He found his mate; it’s something that they have to fight for.”  
  
         “Even Viktor can’t deny that they’re a mated pair,” Carlisle agreed. “That’s why he’s helping them. It’s good that you’re worried, but our job is to support them. Anything that happens will be their struggle to face. For now, they’ve simply asked us to help celebrate. Let them be happy, hm?”  
  
         “I know you care about Nathan,” Emse continued, smiling and gently squeezing my hand. “You two were such close friends. Put on a brave face and hope for the best. It’s what he needs from you.”  
  
         I nodded and pretended to be interested in the other people in the room. I couldn’t make eye contact with either of my parents anymore. They genuinely believed that Nathan and I had just been very, very close friends. They thought I had run to Nathan and Viktor all those years ago because we’d been like brothers. I was fully prepared to let them think that until I burned in hell.  
  
         The left side of the aisle was full of chattering humans. The difference in numbers was almost comical. Music played while people found their seats; it was just piano covers of love songs. They added a nice ambiance to the room as an altar boy went down the length of the aisle, lighting the candles in the jars. Another altar boy was at the front, lighting the oil lamps and candles all around the altar. Even though the chapel was massive, the dim light and piano made it feel small and close. Everyone was seated and ready as the last love song drew to a close. There was a long moment of silence as the doors at the back were pulled open.  
  
         A new song began and the priest walked in. I recognized the song; it was a sonata by Handel, one of his more obscure ones. The priest was followed by an altar boy swinging incense. It wasn’t the standard scent of frankincense, but like cinnamon and oranges instead; it smelled like Aeva and Nathan together.  
  
         Viktor walked in next with a short woman in a pale green dress. She held his arm and dabbed at her eyes as he glided silently along. The woman was thinking about her daughter. This was Aeva’s mother, then. Viktor’s mind was blank and I saw that he was holding his breath. The two parted at the end of the aisle, Aeva’s mother pulling Viktor down to kiss his cheek.  
  
         Next came Nathan and there was an audible gasp as he entered. His tall frame was dressed in a classic black tuxedo with a white shirt, but his vest was pale green and played nicely with his dark green tie. He one had large, orange lily, tied with pale green ribbons, pinned to his chest. His hair was as wild as ever, but his curls seemed like they’d been polished with the way that they gleamed in the candle light and his bright honey eyes were absolutely glowing. He was always incredibly handsome but that day he was truly something to behold. He made his way to the altar, every pair of eyes following him in awe. He turned slowly, his eyes locking right on mine.  
  
         _I feel like I could just burst open. Can you tell?_  
  
         I smiled and shook my head. He grinned back and, if it was possible, looked even more handsome.  
  
         _How’s Viktor?_  
  
         I looked from Nathan to his father. Viktor was not thinking anything. There were no words in his head, just overwhelming pride. He was staring straight at his son. I gave Nathan a small thumbs-up and he smiled wider. Nathan glanced past me and let out a laugh.  
  
         The single groomsman and the bridesmaid were shuffling down the aisle. I was surprised to see that they were both children. The girl was taller than the boy and held his hand, rather than walk arm in arm. She had very long brown hair that had been meticulously curled into ringlets and she looked very sweet in her dark green satin dress. I guessed she had to be seven or eight. The little boy—no more than four years old—was wearing black pants, a white button down, and black suspenders with a lily pinned to one of the straps. He was thinking triumphantly about how he had avoided wearing his jacket, while the little girl was angrily thinking about how the boy wasn’t walking in time to the music. When they were half way down the aisle, the pair looked up and their heads were just a blur of happy thoughts as I saw Nathan’s beaming face through their eyes. The little boy dropped the girl’s hand and took off running.  
  
         “Chuy!” The girl shouted, stomping her foot. The entire audience laughed as she hurried down the aisle alone, arms folded, and Chuy launched himself at Nathan, who caught him easily and set him on his hip, waiting for the little girl to reach them. The rest of the room could not hear the exchange, but my family and I caught every word.  
  
         “Come here, Mercedes,” Nathan chuckled, giving the little girl a kiss on her forehead. “Chuy, can you apologize for running away from her?”  
  
         “ _Sorry_ ,” the little boy groaned, rolling his eyes.  
  
         “He doesn’t mean it!”  
  
         “No, he doesn’t,” Nathan agreed, “but it’s probably the best you’re going to get. Do you remember where to stand?”  
  
         He helped the little girl get into position before returning to his place and setting the boy down beside him. These two children were the maid of honor and best man, apparently.  
  
         I checked over my shoulder to see the ring bearer and the flower girl coming down the aisle together. The flower girl was concentrating very hard on distributing her petals and the little boy was holding on to the back of her dress, plodding slowly behind her. The girl decided she didn’t like him holding onto her and pushed his hand off.  
  
         “No Phee,” she commanded, taking a step away so she was out of reach of his grasping fingers. The people watching the spectacle all took in an anxious breath and I didn’t understand why; everyone was suddenly very tense as the tiny, dark haired boy clasped his hands together and poked out his lip. Someone sitting beside him snatched him up and carried him quickly to the front of the aisle. The boy kicked his legs as he was moved and Nathan’s eyes went wide in alarm. Just as the boy started to scream, Nathan took him from the wedding guest and held him to his chest.  
  
         “Sorry!” The guest whispered.  
  
         “It’s okay, you just have to warn him before you pick him up.”  
  
         The boy dropped his head against Nathan’s shoulder as the guest sat back down. The flower girl, during all this, had become jealous and threw her basket down in rage. Nathan’s laugh was the loudest of everyone’s and he crouched down, holding his free arm out. The little girl let out a peal of delighted laughter and snatched her basket back up, tottering down the aisle as fast as her legs would take her and tumbling into Nathan’s hug. He kissed the top of her head and handed her off to Mercedes, who held her hand and kept the smaller girl by her side. Nathan rose as the bridal march began, but kept the ring bearer in his arms.  
  
         I turned back and caught Nathan’s eye, smiling up at him. He shook his head exasperatedly and I laughed back. Then, he was no longer looking at me and his head went blank, suddenly full of silent awe. I followed his eyes to the spot behind me. Aeva was a vision.  
  
         Her hair was done in long braids wrapped around her head like a crown. She had a headpiece that went from ear to ear of lily blossoms, marigolds, and dark red roses. Her veil hung down from this head piece, over her hair and down her back, trimmed in delicate lace. Her black eyes were shining, her face was bright, and her lips were a deep, glossy red. She was radiant, but her dress was astounding.  
  
         It seemed to have two parts: a simple, strapless dress underneath with a sheer overlay on top. The bottom layer had a sweet heart neckline and sounded like silk as she moved. The overlay was sheer, but went up her neck and covered her shoulders, with sleeves down to her wrists. It was all done in ornate, ivory lace work and extended into a long train behind her. Her only jewelry were two pearl earrings. She was holding a tall candle in a glass jar in place of a bouquet and it leant a beautiful gold glow to her brown skin. When she was almost to the pulpit, she lifted her eyes and finally looked at Nathan. Her smile was blinding.  
  
         Once she reached the front, the priest held a loop of fabric in the air. It was done in dark green silk, decorated in multicolored ribbons and small blossoms to match Aeva’s headdress. She handed her candle over to the little girl, Mercedes, and turned to face Nathan.  
  
         “Hi,” he whispered.  
  
         “Hi,” she replied, her smile still huge. When he heard her, the little boy stuck a hand in Aeva’s direction and she grasped it with two fingers. The priest set the loop of fabric he was holding first around Nathan’s neck and then flipped it, forming a figure-eight shape, before setting the other end over Aeva’s head. All around me, I heard the word _lazo_ in people’s heads. This was a traditional part of a Mexican wedding that I had never seen before.  
  
         “Dearly beloved,” the priest wheezed. “We are gathered here today to join this man and woman in holy matrimony…” They followed the biblical vows, though Aeva recited hers in Spanish. As I listened to the minds in the group across the aisle from me, I realized this may have been a choice to make sure they understood what was happening. There were a few people present who didn’t know enough English to follow along. When it was time for the rings, Viktor stepped forward and handed them to Nathan; it seemed the ring bearer had not actually been trusted to carry anything at all. Nathan slid a gold ring onto Aeva’s hand and she slipped a vivid blue ring onto his.  
  
         “And now, by the power vested in me, I—oh dear,” the priest said, chuckling a little. The little boy in Nathan’s arms had yanked on the lazo, momentarily choking Aeva. The whole church laughed as Nathan switched the boy into his other arm and Aeva loosened the cloth around her neck.  
  
         “As you were saying,” she laughed, turning back to the priest. He had to take a moment to regain his composure, but the line still came out in a sort of giggle.  
  
         “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”  
  
         In the little boy’s head, the word _kiss_ registered quite firmly and he happily latched his arms around Nathan’s head and gave him a loud kiss on the side of his face, ending with a ‘pop’ as the suction released. The priest couldn’t hold it together anymore and started openly laughing, along with the small family before him.  
  
         Nathan returned the favor in kind to the little boy, making the same ‘pop’ sound on his cheek. Then he turned to Aeva, who was beaming brighter than ever. He stooped low, putting one hand behind her head and she stretched upwards, their lips meeting in the middle. When they parted, the assembled crowd burst into applause, Carlisle and I among them.  
  
         “And now,” said the priest. “It is my honor to introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Nataniel Evanov-Wulff…and their son.”  
  
         The priest removed the lazo from around Nathan and Aeva’s neck and the little family walked back down the aisle and out the door, followed by their little wedding party. The other half of the room began to stand and shuffle out, but my family and I stayed seated.  
  
         Carlisle and Emse whispered quietly to one another about the ceremony, but I stayed silent and thought. I had been very focused on Nathan, irritated about how much he loved his little human. I had been unfair in my assessment of her. I had assumed that she would be like any other human: short sighted, shallow, and irritating. She wasn’t.  
  
         I had been so busy in trying to figure out why Nathan loved her so much that I had been unprepared to find how much she loved him. The depth of her feeling was astounding and it matched his, ounce for ounce. Their hearts matched, and the bond she felt to him was just as strong as the bond she felt to their son. I had certainly loved Nathan, but not like she loved him. I had heard his thoughts about me when we’d been together; they were genuine, but they were no match for how he thought of her.  
  
         The irritation in me didn’t quiet, even as I processed how right for each other they were. It grew and took shape into what it truly was: envy. Nathan and Aeva truly had a love worth being envious of. 

   



	2. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan has his best day

###  _Nathan_

  
  
         It had happened. It had finally happened. I spun my ring around my finger as I walked back into the church, on the hunt for my wife. I found her in the powder room, unzipping the bag for her gown.  
  
         “Hello,” I said, closing the door behind myself. She turned around with a big, bright smile on her face.  
  
         “Hi.”  
  
         We stared at each other for a long moment, both of us just grinning.  
  
         “Nathan,” she whispered. “You’re my _husband_.”  
  
         “You’re my _wife_ ,” I laughed, taking a quick step to her and putting my arms around her waist. I thought she might lean up and kiss me, but she spun around so I was looking at her back.  
  
         “Buttons, please,” she said, gesturing at the line of clasps that ran down her spine. She was going to change into a different dress for the reception. I started unfastening the little pearls for her while she reached forward and took her new dress off its hanger. It was the same ivory color, but it was short and soft, decorated with pearls all over the collar and shoulders. Once all the buttons were undone, Aeva shimmied her gown’s overlay and bodice off. I ran a finger down her bare back, coasting down the ridges of her spine.  
  
         “Hey,” she said. It wasn’t scolding, so I bowed my head to press a kiss against the nape of her neck. She leaned against me, pressing her bare back to my chest and I slid my hands all the way around her to rest them flat against her stomach. She pushed the gown off of her legs, dropped the reception dress, and let me curl around her.  
  
         “I wish my last name sounded sexier,” I murmured. “I’d whisper it in your ear.” She laughed and leaned her head against my shoulder, lacing her fingers into mine.  
  
         “Evanov-Wulff does lack a certain ring.”  
  
         “We’ll come up with a better one,” I laughed, my mouth against the skin of her shoulder. “We’ll change it.”  
  
         “You’d just change our name?”  
  
         “I don’t care what you want to be called. Just have it start with Missus and I’m set.”  
  
         “Deal,” she laughed, turning her head to kiss me. I cupped her jaw with one hand and kept her pressed against me with the other. She was standing completely bare with the exception of a stick on bra and some lace underpants, a freezing cold vampire wrapped around her, and she didn’t have so much as one goose bump. She sighed into our kiss and I smiled, gripping her tighter. I couldn’t stop repeating the same phrase over and over in my head: she was my _wife_.  
  
         She was the one that finally broke our kiss, pulling back and staring up at me with her big, black doe’s eyes. She smiled and murmured in her most demure voice, “You have lip stick all over your face.”  
  
         I dropped my forehead to her shoulder as I laughed and she patted my arm wrapped around her, asking to be released. I let her go and she scooped up her reception dress and slipped it over her head in one smooth motion. It hung loose on her body and I could see how much more comfortable it was for her. I liked the sound it made as it brushed against her skin. She moved around the room as I watched her then, stowing her gown in its garment bag, putting hangers back on hooks, placing her ceremony shoes in their box. Just a series of beautiful mundanities. She peeked over her shoulder at me as she pulled on a beaded, white sandal.  
  
         “What?” She asked, a small smile on her face.  
  
         “I’m just staring.”  
  
         “Well quit it,” she laughed, walking over to the vanity counter and pulling a wipe from a plastic packet. She sauntered over to me, only one foot shoed, and cleaned her lipstick off of my mouth. When she was done, I took the little wipe from her and cleaned her mouth as well before dipping my head low and catching her in another deep kiss. She tossed her arms around my neck, her left hand gripping my shoulders and her right lost in my hair. I walked her backwards until her hips bumped the counter top and then I lifted her onto it.  
  
         I was absolutely gone.  
  
         She had me so fully wrapped up in her scent and taste and touch that my thoughts were barely coherent. We undid the buttons of my shirt so that she could press scorching kisses against my chest. I tugged her head back by her hair so I could nip at the skin on her jaw. She was beautiful and sensual and extravagant and she was _mine_. As she pressed her lips just below my ear, the thought occurred to me that I was hers. I had never wanted to belong to someone as badly as I wanted to belong to her and I let her have me. She pulled me closer and I followed her every order, only too happy to oblige.  
  
         I was lost.  
  
         I was spiraling, held in place only by my grip on her body and her hands on me. We were blending together. I could smell myself on her: Cinnamon and nutmeg over oranges and chocolate. Venom welled in my mouth and a long dormant part of my brain told me to sink my teeth into her and keep her forever. She slid both her hands through my hair and sighed my name; I grazed my teeth over her neck and then all at once it was too much.  
  
         I gasped and stumbled back at the shock of the pain. She stared at me from where she sat, dress hiked up around her hips and hair in ruins, panting. I became aware of the fact that her underwear was clenched in my fist and my trousers were undone, though I couldn’t recall when either had happened.  
  
         “Oh,” I said, eyebrows raised.  
  
         “What’s wrong?” She asked, still breathless. I had to shake my head to clear it. She changed her posture, pulling her legs together and tugging her dress down. A blush was creeping up her neck and I realized I had embarrassed her.  
  
         “No.” I stepped back to where I’d been between her knees. “No, no, no,” I murmured, pushing the chiffon back out of the way and trailing a line of kisses down the side of her neck and across her shoulder. “Please don’t do that,” I begged. “You’re so perfect, Aeva. Please don’t cover up from me.”  
  
         “What happened?” She put her hand on the side of my face to guide it back to hers so we were staring straight into each other’s eyes. “Why did you stop?”  
  
         “It hurt,” I confessed, gently running my fingertips over her thighs. “It got too warm.”  
  
         “I _burned_ you?”  
  
         “Yes.” Now I was slightly embarrassed and I was thankful yet again that I could no longer blush. “But I loved it, Aeva. I loved every second of that right up until it hurt. My god, I love you.” I pressed my mouth to hers to prove my point and she pressed back, gripping the sides of my face with both hands. When we broke our kiss she still seemed conflicted.  
  
         “What is it, love?” I asked, twirling a strand of her hair around my finger.  
  
         “You can’t…you can’t make it through that, can you?”  
  
         “I highly doubt it.”  
  
         “So we…we shouldn’t…do that again, right?”  
  
         My panicked expression made her laugh her loud laugh. “No!” I said, joining her. “No, we can do that whenever you’d like. I just won’t…I won’t, I mean…”  
  
         “We’ll work on it,” she said, tugging my head back down for another kiss. With my lips pressed to hers, she suddenly grabbed on to the waist band of my pants and did them up. I laughed in surprise.  
  
         “I suppose you’d like these back, then?” I asked, offering her undergarments. She nodded and hopped off the counter, plucking them out of my palm. She slid them up her legs and I grabbed her other sandal off the ground and set her back on the vanity in one movement. I knelt and slipped her foot into her shoe, kissing her calf as I did up the buckle.  
  
         “Leave that alone and fix your shirt,” she laughed, shimmying back to the ground again. She turned to examine her reflection and gave a low whistle, prodding at the mess that was her ceremony hair. I fastened my buttons and tucked in my tails as she pulled pins out, letting her curls fall loose.  
  
         “Are you going to wear it down?”  
  
         “Unless you’ll braid it for me.”  
  
         “I can do that,” I said, stepping up behind her. I slid my fingers through her hair and gave her a basic French braid from the crown of her head down to between her shoulder blades. She pulled and prodded at it until it looked just the way she wanted. She was stunning and I couldn’t help but wrap around her again, nuzzling my face in the curve where her neck met her shoulder. I was well and truly smitten by her; by my _wife_.  
  
         “Nathan?”  
  
         “Hm?”  
  
         “I love you.”  
  
         I glanced up at her in our reflection and she was smiling at me.  
  
         “I love you more than I did this morning,” she continued. “I’m not sure how that’s possible.”  
  
         “I know what you mean,” I sighed, kissing her temple and then taking her hand to spin her around like a dancer. “I’m an absolute mess; I can’t even think in words right now. I just know I love you.”  
  
         “You _are_ a mess,” she teased. “Come here and let me do your tie.”  
  
         She tied a perfect knot and I set my jacket around her shoulders, slipping my hand into hers again. We were going to walk to our reception and we did so with our arms swinging between us, utterly lost in our own bliss.  
  
         “So what do you think of Edward?” I asked. “Now that you’ve seen him?”  
  
         “Well, he’s very…pretty,” she said, shrugging slightly. “He certainly _looks_ seventeen, I mean. I like his fancy hair.”  
  
         “He does have fancy hair,” I agreed. “What about Esme and Carlisle?”  
  
         “Esme is _stunning_ and Carlisle actually does look a lot like you; I can see why people think you’re related. He doesn’t look like your dad though; maybe a younger brother.”  
  
         “Younger?”  
  
         “You look older,” she shrugged. “I don’t know what it is. _Are_ you older? Like, how old was he when he was changed?”  
  
         “Twenty-three.”  
  
         “You _are_ older. I knew it. He acts older though.”  
  
         “What does that mean?” I demanded, feigning offense. I swung my arm over her head to wrap it around her and pull her to my side. “Are you calling me immature?”  
  
         “Absolutely not,” she laughed, snaking her arm around my waist. “I’m saying you’ve kept your youthful exuberance in excellent condition these past three hundred years.”  
  
         We walked slowly together, enjoying our time alone. Up ahead, at the park, we could see the tents set out and little paper lanterns making the whole party glow. I had heard the music for quite some time, but Aeva perked up as we finally got close enough for her to hear it too.  
  
         Frida was the first to spot us and she smacked Miguel who bellowed out, “They’re here!”  
  
         The group burst into applause as we walked up, still grinning like mad with our arms around one another. We were separated in seconds, with different sets of arms yanking us in for hugs. Aeva was smaller and easier to move and so was quickly swept away from me. I smiled at her, still wearing my jacket over her tiny frame, while she hugged and kissed her family. I received many handshakes and “congratulations” and I tried my best to pay attention, but all I could focus on was my wife. When Carlisle clasped my hand, it snapped me out of my trance.  
  
         “Congratulations, Nathan,” he said, smiling warmly.  
  
         Edward smiled, starting to walk toward me and said, “The ceremony was beautiful.”  
  
         “And so was the bride!” Esme added, shoving Edward aside and tugging my head down to kiss my cheek. She had learned the family patterns very quickly. “She was stunning; you both were. I can see how happy you are together and I just…oh, I’m so proud of you!” She pulled me in for a hug and I couldn’t help but laugh. Carlisle smiled fondly at his mate.  
  
         “Thank you so much, Esme,” I said, hugging her back. “It means the world that you were able to make it.”  
  
         “Daddy!”  
  
         The little voice cut through the din of the crowd to catch my attention immediately. I released Esme and scanned the surrounding sets of arms, but no one was holding Phee. A clumsy pattering of feet on tile told me he was on foot and I looked down. Sure enough, he was tottering forward, having escaped Lidia’s watchful eye. He stumbled past Aeva, giggling the whole time, and her eyes went wide.  
  
         “Phoenix!” She yelled, making a dive at him. He was too quick though and she missed, stumbling to her knees. He’d heard my voice and he wanted his dad.  
  
         “I got him, -ita,” Manuel shouted, jumping over his sister, but Phoenix was only a foot from us. He crashed right into Carlisle’s legs, which of course had no give, and ricocheted to the ground.  
  
         “Oh, sobrino,” Manuel said, stopping short as Phee began to wail. Carlisle was immediately backing all of us away from Phee and his scrapes.  
  
         “Back up, Nathan,” he said quietly, pressing against my chest. “The boy’s bleeding.”  
  
         “Yes, I know,” I replied irritably, pushing past him as Phoenix looked around for my voice. “I’m here, sweet.” He stuck his hands into the air and I grabbed him up under his armpits and held him to my chest. His sobbing quieted down as soon as he was in my arms and he went limp, laying his head on my shoulder, as if his crying had exhausted him. He kept his bottom lip poked out.  
  
         “Ouch, Daddy,” he muttered, his eyes still running.  
  
         “Oh, you’re alright,” I cooed, bouncing him gently and wiping his nose with my sleeve. “It’s nothing we can’t fix. Where’s it hurt?”  
  
         “Knees,” he sighed. I shifted him into one arm so I could press my palm against his scraped knees one at a time. I played ice pack like that for a minute or so until Aeva and Maria showed up with baby wipes and band aids.  
  
         “Here, niño,” Maria hushed, rolling up his pant legs and wiping his scrapes clean. Aeva took a wipe and cleaned the blood off of my hand before she fastened the band aids on Phoenix’s knees.  
  
         “Do you want to go back to Liddy?” She asked him, stroking his hair. He grinned and shook his head. “Do you want to come with me?” He smiled and threw his arms around my neck, squeezing tight. Aeva laughed and kissed him, accepting his request to stay with me.  
  
         “Okay, well, I’m going to keep doing the rounds,” she said, putting a hand behind my neck and pulling me down for a kiss as well. She started to pull away, but I held her in place with my free hand for a few extra seconds before I let her go with a smile. Maria then put her hand on my right cheek and kissed me on the other.  
  
         “You leave her be,” she said, patting my face. “You’ve got your whole lives together now; cálmate.” I kissed her cheek back and then she followed her daughter back into the crowd. When I straightened up and turned back to the Cullens, they were staring at me aghast; Esme actually had her hand over her mouth.  
  
         “How…?” Carlisle asked, seeming at a loss for words. I smiled and rested my cheek on Phoenix’s head.  
  
         “He’s my son,” I chuckled. “I couldn’t very well leave him there.”  
  
         “There was blood,” Edward hissed, so quiet that Phoenix heard nothing.  
  
         “There were tears,” I whispered back. “Hey, Phoenix,” I said in full voice, getting his attention. “Would you like to meet my friends?”  
  
         “Yes please,” he said, sitting up straight and staring expectantly forward. I kissed the side of his head and presented him to Esme.  
  
         She took one look at him and her hand dropped to her heart. “Oh my goodness, he’s amazing, Nathan!” She stepped closer and addressed Phee. “Hi there, I’m Esme.”  
  
         “Hi,” Phoenix replied. He wasn’t facing the right direction, but when she spoke he was able to correct himself. “I’m Phoenix. I’m two.”  
  
         “Oh, that’s wonderful,” she laughed. “I just wanted to let you know that you’re very handsome. Your eyes are lovely.”  
  
         “I see you?” He asked, sticking one of his hands out in front of him, palm up in offering.  
  
         Esme furrowed her eyebrows and glanced at me. I smiled and took Phoenix’s hand, leading it gently to her cheek. She watched in wonder as his fingertips grazed her skin, memorizing her face.  
  
         “Pretty,” Phoenix said as he took his hand back. “Thank you.”  
  
         “What does she look like, Phee?” I asked, ever curious to know how he perceived the world.  
  
         “Like mommy,” he said, patting his own chin. I looked over at Esme and realized that she and Aeva did indeed have very similar chins. She still seemed confused, so I decided to clarify.  
  
         “He thinks your chin is like Aeva’s.”  
  
         “Oh,” she said, her fingers going automatically to her face. “That’s so interesting. Carlisle, say hello.”  
  
         “Hello, Phoenix,” the blonde man said, stepping closer. “I’m Carlisle. How are you?”  
  
         “I’m good,” he replied brightly. “I’m two.”  
  
         I laughed and kissed his hair again. He reached up and patted my face, searching for my mouth. I helped him find it and he traced my smile with his fingertips. He left his hand there as I talked.  
  
         “He’s still learning how to introduce himself,” I said. “He’s really latched on to that age thing.”  
  
         “Can I see you?” Phoenix asked, taking his hand off of my mouth and swinging it forward. He managed to slap his palm against Carlisle’s cheek and he yanked his hand back.  
  
         “Sorry! Sorry! Oh no!”  
  
         “Oh, that’s okay,” Carlisle laughed, gently taking Phoenix’s hand between his two fingers. “It was just an accident. Here, try again.” He led Phee’s hand back to his cheek and let him explore his face. He fixated on Carlisle’s eyebrows and nose, his bottom lip poking out in concentration.  
  
         “Daddy,” he declared, sliding his index finger down the bridge of Carlisle’s nose. “Like daddy.”  
  
         “You’re not the first to say we look alike,” the doctor laughed, taking a step back again. “He’s very perceptive. At this age, most blind children are still very timid.”  
  
         “Not Phoenix,” I smiled. “Edward, would you like to meet him?”  
  
         “Sure, I suppose,” he replied, taking a tiny step forward. “Hello, Phoenix, I’m Edward. Would you like to see my face?”  
  
         “Yes please,” Phee replied, smiling happily and sticking his hand out. I helped him find Edward’s cheek and he looked him over. He traced up Ed’s high forehead and his fingers brushed against his hair. Immediately, he had a fistful.  
  
         “Phee, no,” I scolded. “Let go.”  
  
         “Sorry,” he grumbled, releasing his hold and bowing his head. “Soft hair.”  
  
         “Oh, thank you,” Edward said, a surprised smile on his face. “I didn’t mind the hair tug; he didn’t hurt me.”  
  
         “He pulls very hard sometimes,” I muttered, shifting my son into my other arm. As I moved him, someone took him away entirely.  
  
         “Papa!” Phoenix giggled, running his hands over my father’s scruffy face. “Papa! Papa!”  
  
         “Hello, little vone,” Viktor said, smiling at him. “And hello again, Carlisle and family.”  
  
         “Are you enjoying the reception so far?” I asked my father, tickling Phee’s side to make him giggle. He grabbed hold of my fingers and Viktor settled his face into my son’s wild, black hair. He would never tell me that he was enjoying himself, but it was clear from the look on his face that he was.  
  
         “Do you want to stay with Papa?” I asked, gently shaking the fingers Phoenix was holding. He nodded, kissed my fingertips as a goodbye, and let them drop. Viktor nodded to the Cullens and disappeared into the crowd, clearly conversing with the toddler in his arm.  
  
         “I never thought…” Carlisle said, shaking his head slightly. “I…I’ve never seen Viktor behave like that. I’ve never known him to care for humans very much at all. But your son…”  
  
         “Phoenix makes it very hard to dislike him,” I laughed. “There’s going to be food served, but dinner was already served. Please don’t worry about playing human. No one will mind if you don’t eat, but you can also just stay close to Aeva’s mother and uncle; they know that Viktor and I don’t eat. They won’t expect you to eat either.”  
  
         “You and Viktor have certainly made a place for yourselves with these people, haven’t you,” Esme marveled, looking around at the small crowd. “They just…accept you? They don’t question?”  
  
         “I’m sure they wonder. I’m also sure that we scare them at least a little but for the most part…they leave us be about our differences. We’re family to them, especially today.”  
  
         The food we had laid out was a simple yet fragrant spread of spiced pork and chicken to be rolled in corn tortillas with onions and cilantro, a rice dish, and frijoles. Aeva ate her fill, sipping sangria, while I helped Phoenix manage his beans. Everyone was left to their own devices to refill their plates or to visit our table. I let my arm hang across the back of Aeva’s chair and she kept a hand on my thigh, leaning happily against my side. After he’d finished eating, Phoenix had scooted into her lap to doze for a bit and he straddled her, head dropped against her collar bone and arms tucked in against his chest. Her free hand rested on his back and her cheek against his hair while I ran my fingers up and down her arm. I was so deeply content that a quiet purr made its way out my chest. I had very rarely ever purred before, but I couldn’t help it: I had my wife beside me, our son in her arms, and our family eating and laughing before us. I turned to rest my nose in Aeva’s hair, breathing in our still mixed scents. I was in heaven, well and truly.  
  
         We were allowed a few more minutes of peace before Maria stood up and gestured to the large white cake in the center of the food table. It was two tiers and decorated with frosting to look like lace. Orange lilies were arranged all along the base and at the top were three wooden hearts—two large, one small between them—all settled together. Aeva had carved them herself.  
  
         “Phoenix,” she murmured, gently waking the little boy. “Would you like cake?”  
  
         “Cake?” He asked, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. “Yes, please.” We both laughed at him and I helped Aeva to her feet. By the time we reached the cake table, Phoenix was fully alert and ready for his dessert. The wedding guests gathered around as Aeva and I cut into the top layer together, dropping a slice onto a plate. I took up a fork and dutifully fed her a bite; we had agreed well in advance that there would be no cake smashed in faces. I took Phoenix from her and she took the slice we’d cut out.  
  
         “Okay,” she told him. “Open wide, hijo.”  
  
         Phoenix popped his mouth open as big as it would go, hands clasped in excitement. Aeva scooped up a big chunk with lots of frosting and fed it to him. He clamped his mouth shut and chewed, clapping while the surrounding crowd cheered. Maria took up the job of serving the rest of the guests cake while we retired back to our table so Aeva and Phoenix could finish their piece.  
  
         “Is it good?” I asked him.  
  
         “Yes!” He giggled, opening his mouth for another bite. He had a small, but expressive vocabulary. My favorite verbal quirk of his was that rather than saying “yes, please,” and “no, thank you,” he just said “no, please.” He would learn eventually. For the time being, he mostly relied on tone and pitch to get his greater meaning across. I could tell he usually had more to say, he just didn’t have the words yet. Maria said that meant he would be talkative and that made me excited. I couldn’t wait until Phoenix could speak in full sentences; I wanted to know everything he thought. Perhaps I could convince Edward to read his mind and tell me what was going on in there.  
  
         The music playing overhead had changed from casual and quiet—perfect for background noise as the humans ate—to music for dancing. Aeva was collected from me almost immediately, her cousin Miguel making his way to our table right away. She and I had playfully danced before and she danced with Phoenix all the time, but as the latin music played, she danced with her family. They all knew the steps and I bet they had learned them as children. Aeva was magnificent and Phoneix squirmed in my lap to the music.  
  
         “Do you want to dance?” I asked him.  
  
         “Yes!” He shouted, clapping. “Dance! Dance!”  
  
         I laughed and carried him out to the dancefloor, bouncing and twirling so he could feel how much we were moving. Aeva and Miguel moved around each other smoothly, as did every other pair. Phoenix and I danced in a circle of people for a long time while Aeva swapped dance partners each song. I figured she’d make her way back to me eventually. I saw Lidia staring at everyone, a huge smile on her face, but standing off to the side.  
  
         “Can we dance with Liddy?” I asked, tossing Phee into the air.  
  
         “Yes!” He roared. “Liddy dance!”  
  
         “Lidia!” I called. She looked at me and her smile widened. “Come here! Dance with us!”  
  
         “Okay!” She started to make her way over, but the song ended before she made it. A new song started up immediately.  
  
         “Come here,” I said, beckoning her closer.  
  
         “Mijo!” Maria said, pushing through people to get to us. “Quiero mi nieto,” she laughed, tapping Phee’s hand. “I want to dance with him before his bed time comes.”  
  
         “Abuela!” He laughed, grasping her fingers. He pulled them to his mouth and kissed them; I was glad he’d taken to that habit, rather than continuing to bite everyone.  
  
         “Would you like to go with Abuela now?” I asked him, nuzzling his ear.  
  
         “Yes, please,” he replied. He set his free hand against my cheek and kissed me right on the lips and then on my nose. “Bye, daddy.”  
  
         “Bye, little one,” I laughed, kissing his forehead before handing him to my mother-in-law. How wonderful to think Maria was officially my mother-in-law. She set him on her hip and bounced him.  
  
         “Liddy, dance with your brother,” she commanded.  
  
         “Sí, mamá,” she laughed as her mother walked away and I took her hand. She set her other hand on my arm and we started to dance. She was clumsy on her feet.  
  
         “I’m your brother now,” I said, grinning down at her. “Isn’t that strange?”  
  
         “No,” she said earnestly. “I’m really glad you’re my brother now. It’s felt like that for ages now.”  
  
         “Ages,” I laughed. “We’ve only known each other for two years.”  
  
         “Two years and a few months!”  
  
         “When did you first think of me as your brother?” I asked, twirling her. She stumbled a bit, but was still smiling.  
  
         “I think it must have been…back before Phoenix was born,” she replied, tipping slightly to the side as she came back to our embrace. I steadied her. “Not the first time we did homework together. Probably…when we first played two truths and a lie.”  
  
         “And I beat you,” I teased.  
  
         “You cheated,” she said matter-of-factly. “I don’t know how, but I’m sure you did. Did you ask Aeva all those questions before we played?”  
  
         “I didn’t.”  
  
         “I’ll figure it out at some point.”  
  
         I laughed and so did she, but she tripped again and sighed. “I’m the only one in the family that can’t dance.”  
  
         “What if we do that instead?” I asked, nodding at Manuel who was dancing with Mercedes. His wife, Holly, was nearly eight months pregnant with their second child, and so it was his job to dance with their little girl. He had his daughter standing on his toes.  
  
         “I’m too heavy!”  
  
         “You’re not, I promise. Come on.” I tugged her hands gently and she stepped up, smiling.  
  
         “I haven’t done this since I was little,” she said, looking down at our feet. “Papá and I danced like this.” I knew Aeva and Jaime had been close; I hadn’t done much investigating into the relationship he’d had with his other two daughters.  
  
         “Did you two dance often?”  
  
         “No,” she said, looking back up at me. “I don’t really like dancing.”  
  
         I saw the lie in her head.  
  
         “Are you sure this isn’t hurting your toes?”  
  
         “I’m certain,” I laughed. “You’ll never be too big to dance like this with me. I can promise you that.”  
  
         “I’m taller than Aeva now.”  
  
         “That’s not exactly an impressive feat. Most people are taller than your sister.”  
  
         Liddy snorted and laughed, dropping her forehead against my chest.  
  
         “Mercedes is almost up to her shoulder,” I pointed out. “But yes, you are taller. Still shorter than me, though.”  
  
         “That’s not an impressive feat,” she teased. “Most people are shorter than my new brother.”  
  
         That made me smile and Frida saw it from across the dancefloor. She blew me a kiss.  
  
         “Do you think I look more like Frida or Aeva?” Liddy asked, getting my attention back.  
  
         “I think all three of you look exactly alike,” I replied. “I can barely tell you apart. I thought you were all triplets.”  
  
         “Shut up,” she laughed. “Who do I look like?”  
  
         I considered her face for a moment. Truly, the three Sanchez sisters looked very similar. Miguel had the perfect male version of the face they all shared, but there were subtle differences. Looking at all the people around us, there were distinct family traits from each side. Maria’s side were the Vasquez’s; they had narrower noses and slightly smaller eyes than the Sanchez women. Lidia and Frida were _Vasquezas_. Miguel and Aeva were _Sanchezos_ , with their big, expressive eyes. But Frida and Miguel shared their mother’s hazel eyes, while Lidia and Aeva’s eyes were black like their fathers. Lidia wasn’t as slightly built as Frida, though she was taller like her. The way she spoke and acted, though, was unlike either of her sisters. They were both much more headstrong than Lidia, though barreling in different directions. But her observant nature and willingness to pick on people once she got to know them had me pretty convinced talking to Lidia was very much like talking to a young Aeva would have been. Perhaps she just had yet to grow into her confidence.  
  
         “You’re a pretty even mix,” I replied. “What do you think?”  
  
         “I can’t tell either,” she said, pushing her glasses up her nose. “But I think a _little_ more like Aeva, because of our eyes. Are you related to Carlisle?”  
  
         “I am not,” I said, dipping her.  
  
         “You look like him,” she said. “You look more like him than his son does.”  
  
         “Edward is also adopted.”  
  
         “I figured as much. Carlisle is way too young to be his real dad.”  
  
         “Aeva says I look older than Carlisle.”  
  
         “You do,” Lidia agreed. “Are they…are like you? I mean, I know they are. They’re the same thing you are, aren’t they?”  
  
         “Yes,” I said. Just like with Aeva, I didn’t like to lie to Lidia. I wouldn’t let her know as much as I let Aeva know, though. She didn’t need to.  
  
         “Those three have yellow eyes like you, but Viktor has red ones.”  
  
         “He does,” I agreed, spinning her before slipping my feet expertly under hers again.  
  
         “Can you tell me why?”  
  
         “Why does Aeva have black eyes but Phoenix has blue ones?”  
  
         I was evading her questions, just like I had been since I met her. On some level, I was sure she knew just what I was. I think she was willing to pretend she didn’t though. When the song ended, she gave me a hug and then Carlos asked to dance with her. I thought I might find Aeva, because a slower song had started up, but I saw Carlisle rise and walk gracefully across the dance floor to extend his hand to her. She gave him a huge smile and happily accepted his offer. He spun her twice before letting her settle her hand on his shoulder and beginning to sway. Viktor was dancing with Esme, or I would have asked her. I thought I’d ask Frida, but Edward caught my eye. He was sitting off to the side of the dance floor, elbows propped on knees as he observed the room. I made my way over.  
  
         “How are you?” I asked, dropping down into the chair beside him. Edward smiled and shrugged.  
  
         “I’m doing fine,” he replied. “These humans are very friendly.”  
  
         “They are,” I agreed, grinning broadly. “Are you enjoying yourself though?”  
  
         “Yes. I like listening to people’s thoughts here,” he said, scanning the room. “Everyone is so…genuine. I actually wish Jasper could be here; there’s a lot of happiness in this room that he would love to soak up.”  
  
         “That’s good to hear. I’m glad they’re not all just pretending to have a good time.”  
  
         Edward stared at me for a long time then, a slight smile on his mouth. I tried to puzzle out what he was looking at but got distracted by the sound of Aeva’s loud laugh. I automatically turned to find her and saw that she was dancing with her brother instead of Carlisle; he must have stolen her away. Manuel had her dipped so low that her braid was touching the ground. He pulled her up and demanded, “Now do me!”  
  
         Aeva gave a valiant effort, bending him backward over her knee, but she couldn’t pull him up. They both fell to the floor in hysterics. I could tell that they were both slightly drunk and so was Miguel, whose uncoordinated attempts at helping them up were almost counterproductive. Aeva was laughing so hard she had tears running down her face. Carlisle stepped in to haul them all up, reclaiming Aeva as his dance partner. She was hanging heavily on him, still laughing too hard to stand up properly.  
  
         “Wow,” Edward whispered. I glanced back at him and his eyebrows were raised, a shocked half-smile on his face.  
  
         “What?” I asked.  
  
         “That,” he replied, nodding toward Aeva.  
  
         “Oh, they’re just playing.”  
  
         “No, no, I meant you _watching_ that,” he clarified. “Your head was just… wow… She’s really your mate, isn’t she? You love her.”  
  
         “I do,” I nodded, smiling in spite of myself. “I adore her.”  
  
         “The little boy too,” he added. “I saw that as well. He’s not even yours, though.”  
  
         “He’s mine. I didn’t make him, but he’s mine.”  
  
         He nodded and scanned the crowd again. His little smile slipped away and he sighed, leaning forward to rest his chin in his hand.  
  
         “What’s wrong?” I asked, nudging him. He sighed again and turned to look at me.  
  
         “I want this.”  
  
         “You want what?”  
  
         “All of this,” he said, looking around. “I want what you have with Aeva; I want what Carlisle has with Esme; I want a celebration like this. It’s all just…I mean, it seems…nice.”  
  
         “It is,” I said, knowing it would do no use to minimize or lie. “It’s wonderful, Ed. I’ve… I’ve never been this happy.”  
  
         “I know. Not even…when we…”  
  
         “Oh, Ward,” I whispered, taking one of his hands. “Please stop. You can’t do that to yourself.” He looked at me with sad eyes and I reached out and took his face in my free hand. “I was happy with you; you know I was. But this—what I have with Aeva—it’s different. You know that; I _know_ you know that.”  
  
         “I do,” he sighed. “I can see it in your head how different it is, but we were the closest I’ve ever had. I thought it was good, but now I can see just how much… _better_ she is for you than I was. And I…I don’t have that.”  
  
         “Ward.” I ran my thumb over his cheek and he looked down, gently squeezing my fingers in his hand.  
  
         “It’s just…difficult,” he sighed. “Everyone in my house is part of a mated pair. I hear things like this all the time and I haven’t seen you in so long but when I finally did…you were different too. I’m the last one left.”  
  
         “Give it time,” I said, taking both his hands in mine. “I don’t know how Rose managed to find Emmet as quickly as she did; Alice had a superpower to help her. But Carlisle was 280 years old before he found Esme. I’m almost 275 now. Viktor is over 900 years old and is _still_ searching. You’re barely over 100; I know the waiting is hard, but you’ve hardly started.”  
  
         “I need to give it another 200 years?” He laughed, not sounding even remotely amused.  
  
         “You might,” I said. “I’m so sorry, Ed. It’ll be harder for you, because of where you live; you might not stay with Carlisle and your family the whole time, though. That could help. But the waiting will be worth it. I have no idea when you’ll find your mate but please, _please_ trust me: they will be worth it.” I lifted his hands and kissed his knuckles and he smiled.  
  
         “I know they will be,” he said, freeing one of his hands from my grasp to smooth my hair. “If it’s anything like what you’ve found, I know they’ll be worth it.”  
  
         “I’m sorry it wasn’t me.”  
  
         “Don’t be,” he said, cupping my cheek. “I know how much she loves you; it’s amazing, Nathan. I’m glad you were for her.”  
  
         He was telling the truth and I was so grateful to him for it. I hadn’t been entirely sure about having him come to the wedding, but I was glad I had invited him. I was glad he’d shown up. The idea I had then came out of nowhere and I knew he saw it in my head. He smiled and leaned forward and let me kiss his cheek. When we separated, we dropped one another’s hands and it actually felt like something had been resolved between us.  
  
         “Nathan!” I looked up and Aeva was jogging toward me, her smile wide across her face. My own smile answered hers instantly.  
  
         “Hello, love,” I said, extending an arm toward her. She walked straight into my embrace and allowed me to pull her into my lap. “Do you need me for something?”  
  
         “No, just visiting,” she laughed. “Carlisle said he’s going to leave soon. Can I borrow Edward?”  
  
         “Me?” He asked, sitting up a bit straighter.  
  
         “Yes,” she said, extending her hand. “I was hoping I could have a dance before you go.”  
  
         “Oh, er, of course.” He gently grasped her fingers and walked her onto the dancefloor, spun her once, and settled her in an embrace. They were chatting, but I didn’t strain to hear. Aeva was smiling and laughing and pulling a reluctant smirk out of Ed as she taught him the steps to salsa.  
  
         “Ay, hermano,” Frida laughed, rushing up from behind me and leaning heavily on my shoulders. She strung her arms around my neck and I kissed her cheek in greeting.  
  
         “How are you?” I laughed. Her breath smelled like wine.  
  
         “Estoy maravillosa,” she replied. “How are you?”  
  
         “I’m excellent. Sit down with me,” I said, pulling Ed’s vacated chair closer. She sat down and I threw my arm around her shoulders, letting her lean into me to cool off. She, just like her sister, ran hot.  
  
         “Are you glad your friends came?”  
  
         “I am,” I said, smiling. “I’ve missed them.”  
  
         “I’m glad they came too,” she said. “It would have been weird to only have us here for your wedding. Also, when you said you were inviting people, I don’t know why I expected them to look normal.”  
  
         “They don’t look normal?” I laughed. “What do they look like?”  
  
         “Like you!” She laughed. “They’re gorgeous. Too bad the one that’s just like you is already married. How old is the little red head? He and I could make cute babies; I mean, Phoenix’s dad was a red head and he’s adorable. I think it would work.”  
  
         “Edward is seventeen,” I said. “And Phoenix’s dad is blond.” I had only meant to tease her, but her eyes went wide when I said it.  
  
         “I can’t believe I just brought Jason up at your wedding!” She gasped, sitting up straight. “You're right, his dad is blond because you are his dad. I’m so sorry. El vino me hace tonta.”  
  
         “It’s alright, really.”  
  
         “Also, I am definitely _not_ looking to get arrested. I’ll pass on the seventeen-year-old.”  
  
         “A good choice.”  
  
         “Hermano, I’m glad you married Aeva.”  
  
         “Why is that?”  
  
         “It means we get to keep you,” she laughed, leaning back into me. “Well, I mean, Aeva gets to keep you. But, you know, what’s hers is ours, so…”  
  
         “I don’t think that’s the saying,” I laughed.  
  
         “I’m pretty sure it is.”  
  
         Frida stayed and talked with me until it was time for the kids to go to bed. She went to put them down for the night and that was when the Cullens decided to steal away.  
  
         “Goodbye,” Carlisle said, shaking my hand. “And congratulations again. She’s a wonderful girl and you’ve become part of a wonderful family.”  
  
         “Thank you.”  
  
         “Oh, Nathan,” Esme said, stretching up to kiss my cheek. “I’m so proud of you. You’re going to be such a wonderful husband.”  
  
         “Thank you,” I repeated. There was something about how Esme spoke to me that felt so right. She spoke to me like I was her son, but Carlisle never felt like my father. It was like my mother and my stepdad had come to my wedding. How quaint. The pair of them backed away a bit so Edward and I could say goodbye as well.  
  
         “Bye, Ward,” I said, giving him a hug.  
  
         “Goodbye, Nathan,” he said. When we pulled apart we laughed awkwardly.  
  
         “So…how do you like Aeva?” I asked.  
  
         “Oh, she’s…she’s um…” He stared down at his feet for a moment and then sighed, making reluctant eye contact. “She’s great. She’s really, really great, Nathan.”  
  
         He wasn’t lying and it surprised me a bit. “You think so?”  
  
         “She’s exactly the kind of person I like,” he laughed. “She says what she’s thinking. And she loves you like crazy. It’s…if I could let you see into her head I would.”  
  
         “No,” I said, smiling. “Let her keep her secrets.”  
  
         “She doesn’t have many,” he said, smiling a little in return. “She’s good, Nathan. I’m glad I got to meet her.”  
  
         “Me too,” I said, pulling him in for one more hug. Viktor had said his goodbye to Carlisle and didn’t really care to speak to the other two, so they left. I smiled after them, already missing their company, but a very familiar, rough palm slipped into mine.  
  
         “Hey,” Aeva said, pulling me around so I faced her. “I haven’t seen you all night.”  
  
         “I know,” I agreed, leaning down to kiss her. “Where have you been, wife of mine?”  
  
         She laughed and kissed me again before we returned to our party. It carried on well into the morning, everyone laughing and drinking and dancing. It was nearly three before Aeva and I finally made our exit. We left to applause and a cascade of marigold petals thrown over our heads. We got into our car and I started driving, Aeva in the passenger seat beside me.  
  
         “So,” she said, turning to look at me. “Phoenix is staying with Manuel and Holly for a week. Where are _we_ going?”  
  
         “To our house.”  
  
         “Well, I hate to say it,” she sighed, “but you missed the turn.”  
  
         “No I didn’t.”  
  
         I watched her out of the corner of my eyes while she worked out what I meant. The wine she’d been drinking was clouding her head and her bottom lip stuck out like Phoenix’s as she thought. It took a few minutes before her eyebrows began to raise.  
  
         “Do you mean…is the lake house ready?”  
  
         “It is,” I grinned. “It’s been ready for about six weeks now.”  
  
         “The new house!” She crowed, slapping her hand around my wrist and gripping it tight. “I have a new husband and a new house!”  
  
         I laughed at her and kept driving. She fell asleep eventually, slumped against the window but still holding on to me. Eventually, I had just let her pull one of my hands off the wheel and she had it firmly gripped in both of hers, even as she slept. She woke up when we hit the gravel road, still woozy but just as excited in the pale, morning light.  
  
         “Look at it!” She gasped when we pulled up. All of the lights were on and a warm yellow glow poured out of every window. The house’s long, sleek silhouette was illuminated by the sun as it began to rise. Even I was a little impressed, and I’d seen it many times. I pulled the car up and helped Aeva out, letting her have a moment to take it all in.  
  
         “May I carry you in?” I asked, leaning down so my mouth was against her ear.  
  
         “Please do. I don’t want to walk.”  
  
         I laughed and swept her up with a flourish. Having her in my arms, with her holding on to my neck and staring into my eyes, proved to be quite a distraction. I leaned in for a kiss and she kissed back hard, running her hands through my hair. She was delicious and beautiful and very switched on, but I reminded myself that she was also drunk and exhausted. I pulled away and grinned at her.  
  
         “Let’s get you to bed.”  
  
         She smiled and leaned in again, plotting a lazy trail of kisses along the line of my jaw up to my ear and then down my neck. Her right hand played with the hair at the nape of my neck and her left was loosening my tie. I had to remind myself not to run.  
  
         We walked through the front door and both looked up at the small chandelier that hung over our heads. She smiled at it and I walked further into the great room; her mouth dropped open when she saw the large version that lit up the whole room.  
  
         “Nathan,” she whispered, staring at it as I started climbing one of the stair cases. “Nathan that thing is _beautiful_. Where did you get that?”  
  
         “Viktor got ahold of it,” I replied.  
  
         “He gives me the best things,” she said, kissing my neck where I’d been bitten.  
  
         She giggled at her own joke and I rolled my eyes, turning right and carrying her to our new bedroom. Her jaw dropped again and I lowered her feet to the ground. She spun in a slow circle to soak in what she was seeing. The floors and the furniture were done in dark wood, but the trim and the doors were white against cool, slate grey walls. The door knobs and drawer pulls were all copper and the rug in the center was a beautiful Persian, with tones of grey, blue, teal, and brown that pulled the whole space together.   
On the right wall was a long, waist height dresser topped with a beautiful mirror whose copper frame was sporting an elegant patina. On either end of the dresser were his and her walk-in closets. In the far corner of that wall was the door that led to our ensuite bathroom.  
  
         The right side of the room was dominated by our bed. It was a massive four poster with a gauzy, white canopy. The bedding was crisp and white, as seemed to be Aeva’s preference. On both sides of the bed were matching end tables and lamps. On the far wall were glass doors that led out to our balcony that faced the lake. They were covered by sheer, white curtains that matched the bed’s canopy.  
  
         “Nathan,” she whispered, gently running her fingers along the top of the dresser. “This room is beautiful.”  
  
         “I haven’t hung any art yet,” I said, following her as she wandered toward the bathroom. “I wanted you to do it. We have a lot more wall space to fill; you might even need to make more.”  
  
         “I will have _plenty_ of inspiration here to—oh my _god_!” She had flipped on the bathroom light and stunned herself. This bathroom had a large, two person tub and a huge glass walled shower that doubled as a steam room. The countertop across the vanity was actual slate and the faucets were copper coated.  
  
         “This place is _beautiful_!” She shouted, whirling around and catching her arms around my neck. She had leapt into the air to complete this maneuver and was now dangling off the ground. I smiled and kissed her, taking her legs in my hands and wrapping them around my waist. I carried her like that to the bed and laid her down.  
  
         “Round two?” She asked, pulling the hair tie out of her braid and shaking out her hair. The movement sent a wave of her scent straight into my face and I had to force myself not to change my mind.  
  
         “No, love,” I laughed, undoing the buckles on her sandals and slipping them off her feet. “You’re drunk; you should sleep.”  
  
         “Nathan, it’s our _wedding night_.”  
  
         “And this,” I said, sliding the hem of her dress up over her hips and kissing her belly. “Is our honeymoon. We have time for everything you want to do, I promise.” She laughed and sat up to let me pull the dress off over her head. She fell back across the comforter and watched me pull open one of the dresser drawers to retrieve a silk night gown.  
  
         “That’s not mine,” she said, eyebrows raised.  
  
         “It’s a gift,” I said, tossing it to her. “Humor me?”  
  
         “I don’t know if gold is my color, but alright.”  
  
         “I was told it was ‘champagne,’ actually. Give me a moment.” I picked up her reception dress and her sandals and carried them into her closet. It was partially stocked with a few other items I thought she might like.  
  
         As soon as I was out of her sight she called after me, “You better come back out here in a champagne nightie, too.”  
  
         “Is that what you want?”  
  
         “Do I actually get to pick what you wear?”  
  
         “Sure,” I called back, slipping her dress onto a velvet hanger.  
  
         “I want you in black briefs and a silk bathrobe.”  
  
         “As you wish.” I moved as fast as I was able and darted into my closet, grabbed the appropriate garments, and went back to hers. She wouldn’t have even seen me move. I emerged dressed as she had requested and immediately regretted choosing the garment I had given her.  
  
         She was laid back across the white pillows, her black hair tumbling down her shoulders and the pale gold fabric shining against her brown skin. Champagne was _exactly_ her color. It was barely more than a camisole and her legs stuck out from under its hem, crossed at the ankles. When she saw me, she grinned and got onto her hands and knees, crawling to the foot of the bed. I walked toward her and she grabbed the belt of my bathrobe to pull me closer.  
  
         “You are not playing fair,” I complained as she kissed my collar bone. “I told you we’d do this later.”  
  
         “And then you come out here dressed like this?” She whispered, moving up my neck. “How am I supposed to control myself?”  
  
         “I can stay in this outfit for as long as you want,” I laughed, slipping out of her grasp and laying down. She followed right behind me and curled up against my side.  
  
         “So, we’re agreed then,” she said, stifling a yawn. “No getting dressed tomorrow?”  
  
         “You’re not changing either?”  
  
         “No,” she replied, shrugging her shoulders. “This thing isn’t so bad. It feels nice on my skin…”  
  
         “Well that’s good.”  
  
         “…especially since I don’t have anything under it.”  
  
         I clamped my mouth shut and stared at the ceiling and she laughed and kissed my cheek. My darling, mischievous, beautiful Aeva was turning out to be a more problematic wife than I’d counted on. She pulled the blankets back and we both climbed underneath. She rolled onto her side so that the only way for me to be close to her was by spooning. It was a cruel and wonderful torture to wait out that night pressed against her, but I was happy to do it. I was very much looking forward to spending more nights just the same way: curled up in bed with my wife.  



	3. Called

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aeva and Nathan have a new home and help with a new problem

###  _Aeva_

  
  
         When I woke up, a number of things crossed my mind. First, I felt awful. Second, my mouth tasted worse than I felt. Third, I was tangled in a stupid nightgown. Fourth, I was alone in bed. I sat up and looked around the room. It was larger than our room in the little house and it was still just as beautiful as I remembered it from the night before. I stumbled out of the bed, leaving it unmade, and went to the bathroom. It was like living in an art installation and I marveled at the steam shower as I brushed my teeth. I noticed that there were new bottles of my usual soaps already in there. Once the awful taste of last night’s sangria was out of my mouth, I took a look at my face. Last night’s hair and makeup had not fared well and it was a wonder I hadn’t stained the pillowcase with my smeared eyeliner. I went through the vanity drawers until I found a wash cloth and cleanser and set about scrubbing it off. Once my face was clean I sought out a hair tie and swept all of my hair up into a loose bun at the back of my head. A few tendrils managed to escape and they still had their curl from last night’s braids.  
  
         I smiled at my sleepy, silk clad reflection. I was about to spend an entire week alone with Nathan in our beautiful new house with him in his beautiful silk bathrobe. I smiled again and flipped the light off, wandering into his closet to steal a sweater. He had a thick, heather grey cardigan that I took off a hanger and slid into before leaving the bedroom and walking back out onto the landing. There was a little sitting area outside our room sectioned off with just a bannister that let me see the entirety of the massive great room. There was an offshoot that sat above the main entrance way and led to the staircase, which was split into two sections with a turn in the middle. I walked over to lean on the railing and I found Nathan right away standing in the kitchen, his black robe hanging open.  
  
         “Are you hungry?” He asked. “I made you breakfast.”  
  
         “What did you make me?” I called back, walking down the stairs. He smiled and wiped his hands clean on a dish towel as I made my way to him. The stairs ended right by the dining table, which was only a few steps away from the kitchen island he was leaning against. I loved that this house was so big, but it felt just as close as our little one had.  
  
         “You’ll be dining on an omelet and hash browns. Is that my sweater?”  
  
         “Yes,” I laughed, leaning up to kiss him. “Do you mind if I borrow it?”  
  
         “Not at all.” He ushered me past him to the far side of the island, which was raised a foot higher into a breakfast bar. I climbed onto a stool and looked around, taking in the full view of the great room. It was all done in dark red cherry wood, pale gold walls, and black granite countertops in the kitchen. In this corner, along the walls, were countertops and cabinets. Built into these to my left was the refrigerator. The stove was on the far wall, under big, beautiful windows that faced out the side of the house, right in front of the garage. In the center of the kitchen was the huge island I was seated at.  
  
         Behind me, the room shifted seamlessly into a living room. The chairs and couch were black leather, and the TV was set into a floor-to-celing book case. Thankfully, the landing of the second floor was over the shelves so they didn’t extend up two stories, or they would have been overwhelming. There was a hallway the way on the left side, against all the windows that faced toward the lake and our beautiful deck. I knew the door under the stairs led to the garage; I still had no idea what was down the mystery hall.  
  
         I turned back to my plate while Nathan poured me coffee. He stood on the opposite side of the island and handed me my mug before wetting a rag in the sink.  
  
         “Any reason you put the sink in the island and not against the walls?” I asked, scooping up a bite of food.  
  
         “No, I just preferred it,” he said, smiling down at his hands while he wiped the counters clean. “I put the dishwasher in here too.”  
  
         “We have a dishwasher? We’re really moving up in the world.”  
  
         “I figured we deserved it after struggling without one for so long in the other house.”  
  
         “You mean for doing perfectly fine without one?”  
  
         “Exactly,” he laughed. “How is your meal?”  
  
         “Spectacular, as usual.”  
  
         “How is your hangover?”  
  
         Now it was my turn to laugh. “Less spectacular, I have to admit. But I slept off the worst of it in that giant bed last night.”  
  
         “Do you like the bed?” He asked, leaning down on the counter. His eyes were bright and excited and I couldn’t help but smile at him.  
  
         “Nathan, I love it. I love the bed and our room and this kitchen. Once I get to see the rest of this place, I’m sure I’ll love it too. This house is amazing.”  
  
         “I’ll take you on a tour when you’re done. You can tell me what art you want placed where; I decided not to fully decorate this place. Partly because I would have had to steal things from the little house and you would have known something was up.”  
  
         “What’s your favorite room?”  
  
         “The second one down the hall way back there,” he said, pointing.  
  
         “Which one will be _my_ favorite room?”  
  
         “The one at the very end of the hallway,” he replied, his smile very wide.  
  
         “Can I have a hint at what it is?”  
  
         “No, eat your breakfast.” I laughed and dug in; the eggs and fried potatoes were exactly what my hungover self needed and I wolfed them down. Nathan watched the process with an amused smile on his face and refilled my coffee cup.  
  
         “Okay,” I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin and hopping off the stool. “I’m ready for a tour.”  
  
         “Yeah?”  
  
         “No, wait.” Nathan laughed as I reached up and grabbed my coffee mug. “Okay, now I’m ready. Let’s go.”  
  
         He took my mug-free hand and led me toward the little hallway. “Obviously,” he said over his shoulder, “You’ve seen the deck and the living room. But this part will be new.” The hall was shorter than I’d expected and there were three doors: two on the right hand wall and one directly ahead. I recognized the one in front of me instantly. It was battered and purple: my old bedroom door.  
  
         “Nathan, is that…?”  
  
         “Not yet!” He said, a huge grin on his face. “This one first.” He opened the first door on the right and there was a spacious half-bath in there with another door at the far end.  
  
         “Where does that go?” I asked, pointing at it. Nathan shut the bathroom door and let me to the next door in the hall.  
  
         “It leads into here,” he said, pushing the new door open. I stepped inside and found a miniature library.  
  
         “Nathan!” I gasped, walking ahead of him into the room. The room was large and oblong and L-shaped, because of the bathroom, with big windows facing out to the front yard. There was a big desk near the windows with an antique looking rolling chair. Spread out on the floor was a large, thick rug that absorbed most of the sound. All along the walls were bookshelves, though not all of them were full. Over in the tip of the L were bean bags and the books on the lower shelves were more brightly colored than the others in the room.  
  
         “What’s this?” I asked, walking over and pulling one out. I flipped through the pages and found that the images and words were raised. They were children’s books that Phoenix would be able to read. Nathan had made him a reading nook.  
  
         “I figured I would spend a lot of time in here,” he explained. “I’ll read up on history.”  
  
         “You said this was your favorite room,” I replied, turning to smile at him. “I can see why.”  
  
         “Would you like to see _your_ favorite room?”  
  
         “Absolutely.”  
  
         “Go ahead.” He moved out of the way of the door to the library and let me pass. I walked cautiously to my old purple door and pushed it open. Inside was astonishing.  
  
         There were a few steps to go down so the ceiling seemed higher. The room was lit by another fascinating light fixture, like the great room, but this wasn’t a place to share with the family. It was just for me. Nathan had given me another studio.  
  
         The three outer walls were all mostly windows, each with electric black-out shades I could lower at any time to control how much light got into the room. Along the wall the studio shared with the library were built-in drying racks and a huge cabinet. There were work surfaces everywhere, sectioned into 4-ft pieces. Nathan showed me that each section could be adjusted to lift at an angle like my drawing table. In the middle of the room was an island, half of which was woodblock with a huge slop sink, the other half of which was frosted glass. The glass part could be lit up and used as a trace-table. I set my mug by the sink and investigated further. The cabinets underneath were full of every kind of chemical I might need to clean anything and all were able to be locked to keep Phoenix safe.  
  
         I went over to the big cabinet by the drying rack and found it full of tools and supplies, with a tall cubby for easels to be stored. Right beside this cabinet was a large machine I hadn’t been able to see from the doorway. I opened the lid to find a brand new kiln. My jaw dropped and I did a long, slow circle, taking in the whole room again.  
  
         “This place is sound proof,” Nathan said, leaning against the island and admiring his own handiwork. “I mean, not from me, of course. But you won’t hear anything going on outside from in here unless you open the door or the windows. It doesn’t have the view I really wanted to give you; I wanted you to see more of the lake, but it would have made the house look strange. The place your windows face now isn’t so bad, though. And then on the other sides, you can see the trees and they’re mostly deciduous, so you’ll get some good colors in fall. I also got you six more easels that you can set up anywhere you want, so really _any_ window or even the deck could be your—“  
  
         He stopped talking when my mouth crashed into his. My heart was full to bursting: he’d built me a second studio and it was _magnificent_. I thought he’d spoiled me with drying racks before, but now there were racks built into the wall. I had multiple work benches. I had a _kiln_.  
  
         “Nathan!” I cried, pulling away and holding his head between both of my hands. “Nathan this is…it’s…oh my _god_.”  
  
         “You like it?”  
  
         “I _love_ it!” I laughed. “I love _you_. Come here!” I kissed him again and he pulled me closer, one hand on my waist and the other at the nape of my neck. The sun was streaming in through the windows and I could see that he was shining, even through closed eyes. He was so incredibly beautiful and he did such incredibly beautiful things for me. I sighed into the kiss, pressing my chest to his. He laughed when I tried to push his robe off his shoulders and caught my hands in his. “Wait,” he said. “Give me ten more minutes so you can see the upstairs, then I’m all yours.”  
  
         “Okay, but hurry.”  
  
         He swept me up and sprinted to get us to the top of the stairs. He set me down in the sitting area and let me look around again.  
  
         “Why is this here?” I asked, gesturing around. “And why are the stairs all the way over there?”  
  
         “I didn’t want to risk Phoenix accidentally falling down the stairs,” he explained, “So I had them set at the end of the walk way. I thought he might want to play out here or do homework when he’s older.”  
  
         “Did you design this whole place around Phee?”  
  
         “A lot of it,” he said, nodding. “That’s why you can see almost all of it from anywhere out here or in the great room. We can keep an eye on him.”  
  
         I was smiling so big my cheeks hurt. He was right: this house was perfect for Phoenix to be able to live in, especially while he was little. Nathan had put so much thought into everything thus far that I couldn’t wait to see what else he had to show me. I turned to examine the landing.  
  
         The right side was all windows out to the front of the house, smaller than the ones down stairs. There were two doors on the left hand wall—one of which was our bedroom—and two straight ahead.  
  
         “Okay, this room first,” Nathan decided, opening the door closest to our bedroom. I stepped inside and found a bedroom absolutely perfect for Phee. It had a new crib—one that would turn into a bed when he was old enough—and plenty of toys and things for him to play with. There was a changing table by the door, but that could be removed. Other than that, it was a room that would transition perfectly from a nursery to a little boy’s room. The walls were pale gray with intricate carvings of story book scenes cut in, just for him to find. His carpet was springy and dark blue, his bedding in all different shades of blue and maroon. Phoenix also had an ensuite, though his was less elaborate than ours. He had a tub and shower combination with a single sink and toilet. It was not unlike the bathroom allocated to him now.  
  
         “Ready to see the next one?” Nathan asked. I nodded and he led me back out to the landing, all the way to the door closest to the front of the house. He opened it and there was a beautiful guest room with a canopy bed, a fainting sofa, and a color scheme of green and aqua that I liked quite a bit.  
  
         “One more,” Nathan said, opening the last door. I stepped inside and was a bit confused to see a long couch on one wall and two overstuffed chairs against the other, a low book case between them. There was a chess set on the far wall, beside the window, with two wingback chairs on either side.  
  
         “What’s wrong?” He asked.  
  
         “Nothing, I just figured it would be another guest room.”  
  
         “It is,” he said, fidgeting a bit. “It’s just…for _my_ guests. Guests like me, I mean. You know, like, if Viktor stayed with us he wouldn’t sleep so I had this room done up so—“  
  
         “Is this a vampire guest room?” I laughed, turning to look at him.  
  
         “Yeah, it is.”  
  
         “Nathan, that’s brilliant!” I laughed. “Now Viktor can stay with us if he wants! Or the Cullens!”  
  
         “That’s what I was thinking,” he said, pulling me to him and wrapping my arms around his own waist. “Anyway, that’s your new house. I hope you liked it. I didn’t even take the full ten minutes to show you this floor.”  
  
         I wanted to joke with him like we usually did. I could have said something about his tour guide skills. I could have said a lot of things, but I had my hands under his robe, against his bare back. He was pressed against me in nothing but the underwear I’d demanded he put on and he had his hands on my hips. I wanted to do a lot of things but in that particular moment, one stood out. I took a half step back from him and slipped out of his sweater. I had already told him I didn’t have anything on under the night gown, so he shouldn’t have been shocked by what happened next. When I slid the tiny straps off my shoulders and let it drop to the floor his eyes ran down my body slowly, his pupils fully dilated.  
  
         “Aeva,” he whispered. “Please come here.”  
  
         I smiled and took another full step father from him. He let out a playful growl and snatched me up, setting my legs around his hips and pressing his chest to mine. His mouth fell against my shoulder as one hand held me up and the other slid into my hair. I latched onto his shoulders and pressed myself more firmly against him as he carried me to our room and laid me down on our bed.  
  
         He was so cold; so deliciously, shockingly cold and I loved it. I loved all of it. He growled low in his throat as I touched him. It wasn’t a dangerous sound; it was almost like moaning. His eyes remained so fully dilated they were almost completely black. The way his body moved was sinuous and smooth, practically feline. He lingered over every inch of me, paying each bit of my skin its due attention. I tried my best to do the same. I wanted to worship every bit of him, but I kept losing track. It was hard to think straight with him against me like that. My head was spinning the entire time. He smelled warm like cinnamon and felt cold like autumn. Had Nathan been human, I knew what we were doing would have been beautiful. With him as a vampire, it was tremendous.  
  
         I was so deeply in love with him and what we were doing and I just let it wash over me. I wasn’t really thinking anymore, just coasting along on one hell of a sensory experience. When it all finally became too much, we were both on our sides, facing one another. He had my leg over his hip until, all at once, he used it to push me away and he rolled onto his back, hissing slightly.  
  
         “I’m sorry,” I whispered, kissing his shoulder. “I’m sorry it hurts you.” He looked at me, pupils back to normal size, and smiled.  
  
         “Please don’t apologize to me,” he replied. “Please don’t ever be sorry for that.”  
  
         “Fine, I won’t apologize,” I murmured, sliding one of my hands down his belly. “But please come back here.” He pressed his mouth to mine, sliding his hands back over my skin, and let me touch him. He stayed close to my body, kissing down my neck and shoulders and across my chest. After a few moments, his breath came shorter and he took his hands off me, eyes squeezed tightly shut.  
  
         “Aeva,” he moaned. “Careful…”  
  
         I was careful. I leaned away when he snapped his teeth and snarled. I watched his hands and saw how careful _he_ was not to touch me or anything else with them. He laced his fingers behind his head, stomach clenching, until suddenly his body released all its tension at once. He fell back against the sheets and pulled me to him, laying me across his chest so he could kiss me.  
  
         “You,” he laughed. “You just…I can’t believe you…”  
  
         “Happy honeymoon,” I replied, nipping at his ear.  
  
         Our honeymoon was magnificent. We gave up on our silky undergarments after a day and returned to our usual sweats and t-shirts. I love our house and I loved my husband. My week alone with him was absolute bliss, only made better by having Phoenix join us and officially moving all of our things up to the new place. We had a house warming party, we spent the rest of summer out on the lake, we welcomed Miguel and Holly’s little girl, baby Lola, to the family, we dressed Phoenix as a power ranger and took him trick or treating for the first time. For Día de los Muertos, we made an altar for Papá on the dining room table and spread marigold petals at the foot of his statue. We went back to Mamá’s house for thanksgiving and Christmas, but we decorated our own tree for the latter and invited Viktor to exchange gifts. Our lives as newlyweds and young parents were idyllic and I found myself slipping back into my old bad habit of forgetting that Nathan was not human.  
  
         How could he _not_ be though? He baked four pies for thanksgiving; he wore the sweater that Abuela had gifted him for Christmas; he proofread Lidia’s essay finals; he sat in the beanbags in the library, Phoenix in his lap, reading _Amelia Bedelia_ aloud. He wore our new niece on his chest in the baby sling. He figured out how to make ice cream cake because that’s what Phee wanted for his third birthday.  
  
         I stared at him across the dinner table, a paper party hat strapped to his head, while we sang to our son. Viktor was late to the party, but we’d promised Phoenix we’d have cake after dinner and all the Chinese food we’d ordered was gone. We couldn’t wait any longer.  
  
         “Make a wish!” Frida said, smiling at him. “It’s right in front of you, buddy.”  
  
         “Just blow?” Phoenix said, head perfectly aligned with his candles.  
  
         “Yep, blow them out,” Nathan confirmed, smiling broadly. Phoenix let out a huge puff of air and extinguished all three candles. We clapped and he laughed, clearly overjoyed.  
  
         “I want cake!” Lupe wailed, slamming her fist on the table.  
  
         “Cake!” Chuy agreed. He led his sister, Mercedes, and Phoenix in a rousing chant of “Cake! Cake! Cake!” while Nathan heated a knife. He cut the ice cream cake carefully and I helped Phoenix figure out where it was in his bowl.  
  
         “Hermano!” Frida shouted, swallowing her first bite and slapping Nathan’s arm. “This is good!”  
  
         “You like it?” He said, handing napkins to the kids.  
  
         “Yeah! What’s in here? Snickers?”  
  
         “It’s Snickers flavor because that’s my favorite!” Phoenix said, happily stuffing another bite into his mouth. “Daddy said I can have my favorite for my birthday.”  
  
         “Well you should have picked Reeses’s,” Mercedes sighed. “It’s better than Snickers.”  
  
         “No it’s not,” Chuy protested. “It’s worse. _Oreos_ are better than Snickers.”  
  
         “Yeah, Oreos,” Lupe agreed.  
  
         “Nuh uh,” Phoenix said, eyebrows furrowing. “I don’t think so.”  
  
         “You’re all right,” Nathan said, cutting Mercedes off as she got ready to argue. “You all like different things and you all get to have different opinions, so you’re all right. But Phoenix prefers Snickers and it’s his birthday, okay?”  
  
         “Okay,” Mercedes huffed, looking absolutely defeated as she stuffed her fork into the ice cream cake. She was nearly ten; she was getting into her headstrong years. If she was anything like my sisters and I were, she was about to put my brother through hell.  
  
         I had planned to just help Phoenix eat his piece, but Nathan cut one for me and slid it over, waggling his eyebrows. “I’m full,” I laughed, pushing it back. “I don’t want that.”  
  
         “But I made it!” He said, playing offended. He walked around the table and took the chair right beside me, grabbing a fork and stabbing a bite onto it. “I worked so hard on this. You know I did; you saw me do it.”  
  
         “I’m sure it’s wonderful, but I am _full_. I ate a lot of lo mein.”  
  
         “Will you just try it?” He pleaded, moving the fork closer. “For me? For your _husband_?”  
  
         “Fine!” I laughed, leaning forward and eating the slightly melted lump of ice cream. It was phenomenal and I was immensely irritated that I wouldn’t be able to lie about it if he asked.  
  
         “Do you like it?”  
  
         “No,” I said, smiling when he did. “It’s terrible.”  
  
         “So terrible I’ll have to make another one,” he laughed, leaning in to kiss me.  
  
         “Ew, gross!” Chuy screeched, covering his eyes.  
  
         “Ay, hijo, cállate,” Frida shushed, swatting her son with her napkin. “You’ve seen worse on T.V.”  
  
         “It’s gross on T.V. too!”  
  
         We laughed and I managed to finish the piece of cake Nathan had cut for me. Phoenix opened his presents once it was all cleared away. Chuy had gotten him a play set of dinosaur figurines and Lupe gave him three new story books with raised pictures, though I knew both gifts were really from Frida. Mercedes gave him a lava lamp, which I knew she had picked out herself. I didn’t have the heart to explain to her why a lava lamp was not a good idea to give her blind cousin. Phoenix dutifully said thank you to her and gave her a hug. Nathan and I gave him a new pair of shoes and some new shirts, which he was not impressed by. We also gave him doctor’s play set, which seemed to make up for it. After his gifts, the kids wanted to go to the living room area to play and watch a movie. I let them all go but I stopped Phoenix before he could run over there.  
  
         “Hey!” I shouted, snagging him by the back of his shirt. “Use your cane, young man.”  
  
         “But I know the way!”  
  
         “Use it anyway,” I said, slipping the little red tipped stick in his hand. “You need to practice.”  
  
         He grumbled, but swept the cane in front of him as he walked to the couch. He was learning really quickly, but we needed him to master it before he started kindergarten. He sat down and started exploring his doctor’s kit while the other three enjoyed a screening of _Shrek_.  
  
         “Do you have wine?” Frida whispered to me from across the table.  
  
         “Yes,” I whispered back, getting up to pour us each a glass.  
  
         “Wait!” She said, stopping me before I opened the bottle. “Do you have _coffee_?”  
  
         “Also yes,” I laughed, switching my attention to the coffee pot.  
  
         “Wasn’t Viktor supposed to be here?” She said, turning back to Nathan.  
  
         “We invited him and he said he was coming, but he must have gotten tied up,” he replied.  
  
         “I know Phoenix really likes him, but he scares the frijoles out of my kids. Mercedes is too cool to act scared around him.”  
  
         “He’s not so bad,” I said, watching the coffee drip. “He’s just a little stuffy.”  
  
         “Oh, speak of the devil,” Nathan said, pulling his phone out of his pocket as it buzzed. “Hey, Viktor,” he said, getting up and walking to the library. As far as Frida and the kids knew, he was just taking a phone call in there, but I knew what was actually going on: Viktor had appeared in the library, but he wanted to speak to Nathan in private, so he’d called ahead.  
  
         Frida and I both drank a cup of coffee and Nathan still hadn’t come back out when we’d finished. It was after six, though, and she had to start her drive back with the kids. I helped her pack up, now starting to worry about what Nathan and Viktor were doing, but trying hard not to show that I was bothered. I kissed my nieces and nephew goodbye and Phoenix and I walked them to their car. When I carried him back inside, he let out an almighty yawn. He might have been a newly christened three year old, but he could still barely stay awake past seven. I took him upstairs to bathe and put his pajamas on. When I led him out of his bathroom, I found Viktor waiting in his room.  
  
         “Hello, little vone,” he said. “I am sorry I missed your party.”  
  
         “Papa Viktor!” Phoenix cried happily, sticking a hand out in front of himself. Viktor came forward and grasped his little hand, leading him over to his bed and helping him in. He handed Phee a stuffed dog and kissed his forehead.  
  
         “Happy birthday, my darling boy.”  
  
         “Thank you!” Phoenix said, hugging the little dog. “Are you sleeping over?”  
  
         “No, no, but I thought I could tuck you in, since I missed the cake and presents.” He looked at me to see if that was okay and I nodded, smiling. He smiled back and I blew him a kiss before sneaking out the door. I didn’t have to say good night to Phoenix; he was already too distracted by Viktor to remember that I’d been there at all. I made my way back down stairs to see Nathan standing in the middle of the great room, arms folded.  
  
         “What’s wrong?” I asked, walking over to him.  
  
         “It’s Edward,” he sighed. “He’s not doing well; I was going to offer him to come and stay with us for a while.”  
  
         “That’s fine, but what’s wrong? Is he hurt?”  
  
         “No, but he’s worried he’s going to kill a human. He’s having trouble with his self-control right now. Viktor just came from Carlisle’s to tell me about it and he thinks it’s funny.”  
  
         “Edward does?”  
  
         “No, Viktor,” Nathan said, cracking a smile despite the situation. “He kind of wants Edward to maul someone in his class room. He thinks the Cullens’ high school charade is stupid.”  
  
         “It kind of is,” I said. “Can we go outside? I’d rather we talk about this where Phoenix can’t poke his head out of his door and hear us.”  
  
         “Go put some shoes on, I’ll start a fire.”  
  
         I smiled and followed Nathan’s orders, pulling on a pair of boots. January was a month that even felt cold for me, but Nathan and I loved spending our nights out on the deck by the fire pit. I would only need a sweater and a blanket to throw over my legs and I grabbed both. I also grabbed a sketchpad and a pencil for good measure; there was a full moon and those always lit the ice on the lake nicely.  
  
         When I got to the deck, Nathan had a fire blazing, but he wasn’t sitting in one of the chairs. Instead, he was leaning on the railing, staring out over the frozen water.  
  
         “What is Viktor reading to Phoenix?” I asked, settling into my seat. I knew Nathan could hear the pair of them, plain as day.  
  
         “He’s reading _Peter Pan and the Lost Boys_ and _The Velveteen Rabbit_ is up next.”  
  
         “Two of the old favorites,” I nodded, propping my sketchpad on my knees and nudging my toes close to the fire. “Are you going to join me over here?”  
  
         “No,” he sighed. “I need to call Ed.”  
  
         “You don’t want to wait to do that until Viktor comes down?”  
  
         “He’s not going to come down,” he replied, taking out his phone. “He’s going to read Phoenix to sleep and then run a perimeter for us.”  
  
         “A perimeter?” I asked. “Are you hunting tonight?”  
  
         “I need to, yeah,” he nodded, punching in a number. We’d established a firm routine over the last few months. Nathan hunted every two weeks, always on a Thursday; while he was gone, Viktor guarded the house. It also wasn’t at all odd that Viktor wouldn’t come and say hello to me; I saw him so often, it wasn’t necessary anymore. He’d yet to make use of our vampire guest room, but he came around quite frequently. I often came out of my studio to find him playing with Phoenix while Nathan read or cooked. He had also taken Nathan to Italy once, which I hadn’t liked at all. The “year to ponder life” that Aro had given them was long over; it would have looked strange if Nathan continued to avoid the Volturi. Viktor was running errands for the Italian family again and occasionally stopped in to tell us about them.  
  
         This news about Edward was an anomaly, though. We hadn’t heard anything about the Cullens since the wedding. Nathan still hadn’t pressed the call button but when he did, he squeezed his eyes shut as the phone rang. I wondered vaguely if it was as awkward for a vampire to call his ex-boyfriend as it was for a human. Nathan pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled heavily.  
  
         “Hey, Ed…No, no, I’m fine. I actually called to ask if _you_ were alright. Viktor said—“  
  
         He shifted his weight to his other foot and dropped his hand to his hip, rolling his eyes as he listened. Edward seemed to have a lot to say and I was pretty sure if Nathan’s eyes went any farther back he’d be able to see his own brain.  
  
         “ _Yes_ ,” he huffed. “I _understand_ that, I just wanted to ask you about it directly because Viktor thought it was funny that—“ he yanked the phone away from his ear as Edward started shouting.  
  
         “You can’t be mad at _me_ for that!” He snarled, putting the phone back to his face. “I can’t control the man’s sense of humor, Edward…I _did_ make him stop making fun of you…I _am_ taking this seriously! Why else do you think I would have called to offer you a place to stay?”  
  
         Nathan’s face slipped from supreme irritation to a self-satisfied smirk I’d rarely ever seen on him. It seemed he had shocked his ex into silence. After a long pause, I could hear Edward’s voice again.  
  
         “Of course I’m serious,” Nathan muttered, now chewing his lip. He crossed his free arm over his chest and tucked it under his opposite elbow, staring down at his feet as he twisted his toe on the deck. He was every teenage girl who had ever had the “I _like_ like you” conversation and I could barely contain myself. As inconspicuously as I could, I flipped the page in my notepad and started to sketch him.  
  
         “Yes, I’d trust you to be around Aeva and Phoenix…We have a place for you, Ward. We have a room just for vampires, it can be your own permanent space. Decorate it however you want. Or live in the woods, I don’t give a shit…Well of _course_ it would be strange at first.”  
  
         He leaned against the railing and started chewing his thumb nail. I flipped my page and started on this new pose.  
  
         “I don’t know, there’s high schools around here. Just transfer out. I look like Carlisle; say I’m your uncle…If Carlisle looks old enough to pose as your father I _definitely_ look old enough to be your uncle…That’s ridiculous, if anything, I look like I’d be _his_ older brother…No, I’m not a doctor but that—that is not the point of this conversation. We can work out the logistics later. Do you want to stay here to get away from that girl?”  
  
         There was another long pause while Nathan waited for a response. He tugged at the hem of his shirt and I flipped another page.  
  
         “No, I just wanted to make sure that someone made you an offer if you needed help…I’ve talked to Aeva about it. She wants you to come too.”  
  
         “Come move in!” I shouted. Nathan smiled at me before turning his eyes back down to listen to the other end of the line.  
  
         “Yeah, that was her…Well what is your current plan? Where are you going to go, back to Alaska? Live with the Denalis?…you’re _serious_? You know Tanya wants you to…well I’m just saying you wouldn’t get assaulted here…No I don’t _care_ if you and Tanya…That’s ridiculous…”  
  
         His irritation was back in full bloom and he was scowling, hand back on his hip. “You don’t _have_ to come stay with us, I was just extending the offer…Well okay then… _Okay_ …Sure, fine. Good luck with everything, Ed.” He hung up and grimaced at the phone for a second before glancing at me.  
  
         “I take it he won’t be moving in?”  
  
         “No, he won’t,” he laughed, walking toward me. “What have you been working on?”  
  
         I smiled and let him look at the drawings I’d done; he laughed and took the sketch book out of my hands, carefully examining each picture of himself.  
  
         “So, can you clear something up for me?” I asked. He nodded without looking away from my drawings. “Why exactly does Edward need to leave the town he lives in? Does this girl…know about him?”  
  
         “No, no, she’s his blood singer,” he replied, glancing up at me. “It’s this…special name we have for certain humans. For whatever reason, her blood smells better to him than anyone else’s, so it’s very hard for him to keep from attacking her.”  
  
         “He can’t just avoid her?”  
  
         He snorted and handed my book back. “She sits next to him in biology.”  
  
         “ _Why_ do they pretend to be high schoolers?” I laughed. “High school is the worst; they just keep doing it?”  
  
         “Once, Carlisle invited me to stay with his family,” he said, sitting in the chair beside me and propping his feet on the lip of the fire pit. “He told me I’d fit right in and that I could pose as a senior.”  
  
         “You do _not_ look like a high school senior,” I laughed, returning to the sketch of him against the railing. “None of them look like high schoolers, even if Edward was turned when he was young. They’re not actually very good at being inconspicuous, are they?”  
  
         “They’ll be a lot worse at it if Edward kills a girl during a mitochondria lecture.”  
  
         I made a noncommittal noise and shrugged my shoulders, which made Nathan laugh. He understood that I wasn’t _actually_ treating the issue as trivial, but that it wasn’t really our issue to worry about; Edward had decided not to accept our offer and that was that. He stoked the fire and I added some shading to his hands in my drawing.  
  
         “Are you warm enough?” He asked. I nodded without looking up. He reached his hand out to rest it on the arm of my chair and I shifted so I was leaning against it. I caught his smile out of the corner of my eye. He was staring out at the icy lake, the moon lighting up his face and hair so he was all silver. I flipped to a new page and started drawing him again. Someday, I would ask him to sit for a portrait in my studio and I’d do him all up in oil paint, like they would have in the 1700’s. Perhaps, for my own entertainment, I’d have him pose nude for some life drawings. He would think that was funny; we’d just have to make sure to hide them from Viktor. We wouldn’t have to worry about Phoenix ever figuring out what they were. I laughed at that thought and Nathan gave me a look.  
  
         “What’s funny?”  
  
         “If I drew naked pictures of you, Phee wouldn’t know, even if he was holding one.”  
  
         “Aeva!” He laughed, a little incredulous. “That’s so…Well, I mean, you’re right, but still!”  
  
         “I’m just saying.”  
  
         “Were you thinking about drawing me naked?”  
  
         “Yeah, I was thinking I might ask you to pose for me.”  
  
         His grabbed onto the arm of my chair and pulled it toward him, smiling. “I would love to pose for you,” he said, pressing his lips against mine. “I didn’t know you wanted me to.”  
  
         “Of course I do,” I said, taking his face by the chin and gently repositioning him so he was back in the moonlight. “You’re beautiful. I think about drawing you all the time.”  
  
         “Why haven’t you?” He asked, turning to look at me. I laughed and led his face back into position.  
  
         “You won’t sit still long enough for me to do it, which is odd; I thought you were supposed to be good at that.”  
  
         He laughed, but did not move his head. He stayed still and let me draw for a long time. I gave special attention to his eyelashes as I sketched them, making sure each one I made looked as long and white as the ones in front of me. I kept working until the fire had almost died down and it was hard for me to see my paper. Nathan looked at me out of the corner of his eyes.  
  
         “Can I move again?”  
  
         “Yes,” I laughed. “You can move.” He went so quickly I didn’t see him do it, but he was instantly underneath me and I was suddenly sitting in his lap, the blanket tossed over both of us.  
  
         “May I see?” He asked, kissing my neck.  
  
         “Sure,” I laughed, lifting the page so he could look at it. I couldn’t really see it, since the moon backlit it, but I knew he could see it just fine. I watched him as he looked over my work, marveling at how his skin moved when he smiled.  
  
         “You’re amazing,” he said, looking up at me with his dark eyes. “Have I ever told you that?”  
  
         “Not nearly often enough.”  
  
         He laughed and wrapped his arms around me. “You’re amazing and skilled and brilliant. You’re also beautiful and exquisite and tantalizing and—“ I interrupted him with a yawn “—very sleepy.”  
  
         “I don’t know that I would qualify myself as _very_ sleepy.”  
  
         “Would you like to go to bed though?”  
  
         “Yes.”  
  
         He smiled and slipped his arms underneath me, carrying me to our room. I didn’t particularly like to be carried; it was certainly related to the fact that I was small and usually when people carried me, it was mocking. I didn’t mind letting Nathan hold me, though; it made him happy and I didn’t have to walk up the stairs. He set my feet down once we were in our bedroom and I changed into pajamas. Usually, Nathan did too, but not when he was planning to hunt. Instead, he just toed off his shoes and climbed into our bed, throwing the blankets back on my side. I looked at the clothes in my dresser and saw the champagne colored nightgown from our first night in the house. I smiled and thought about putting it on, but decided to do one even better: I just stripped and turned to get into bed like that.  
  
         “No,” Nathan said sternly, crossing his arms. “That’s not allowed. Go get dressed.”  
  
         “Why?” I laughed, putting my hands on my hips. “I thought you _liked_ me this way.”  
  
         “You look marvelous,” he said, still cross with me. “Go put some clothes on.”  
  
         “But _why_ , Nathan?”  
  
         “Why?” He laughed, incredulous. He actually got out of bed and walked over to me, putting his hands on my waist and walking me backward. “You, my little human, are astounding. I love every inch of you and you know that.” I bumped into the dresser and he lifted me effortlessly so I was seated on top of it. “If you get into that bed naked, I will have to pounce on you.”  
  
         “Exactly.”  
  
         “I will eat you if you let me do that tonight.”  
  
         I had completely forgotten that Nathan needed to hunt. Well, not completely. The thought had been there when he didn’t put on his pajamas; I supposed I had forgotten the _significance_ of him needing to hunt. He reached into the dresser drawer between my legs and pulled out a pair of shorts, shimmying them up my calves and over my hips. Then he grabbed the collar of his own shirt and pulled it off, offering it to me to wear for the night. I smiled and put it on; when my head popped out of the collar, I saw he’d put another one on as well.  
  
         “Please go to sleep now,” he laughed, leaning in to kiss me. “I can’t take any more of your reindeer games; you’ll ruin me, love.”  
  
         “Fine, fine,” I said, sliding off the dresser and getting under my half of the covers in bed. “I’ll go to sleep. But I have terms.”  
  
         “Terms?” He sounded wary.  
  
         “You have to wake me up when you come back.”  
  
         “Deal,” he said, smiling. He laid down beside me with his arm out, offering me my favorite spot. I curled up against his side, my head on his chest, and was out in minutes.  



	4. Doubted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward asks questions Nathan can't answer

###  _Nathan_

  
  
         Aeva had distracted me before I’d gone hunting and so I’d been careless. I had been stalking a small group of deer, but they were being hunted by a wolf pack. I took down two wolves and one bit down on my side. It didn’t hurt me at all, but it had managed to mangle my shirt. The fabric dangled off me as I climbed back into bed, hovering over Aeva on all fours and kissing her neck to wake her.  
  
         “Mmm,” she murmured, smiling into her pillow. “You’re back.”  
  
         “I always come back,” I whispered, moving down her shoulder. She hadn’t opened her eyes yet, but she reached up to put her hand on me. Her brow furrowed when she felt my skin.  
  
         “Are you naked?” She peeked up at me and laughed. “What happened to your clothes? Why is there a hole here?”  
  
         “Wolf bite.”  
  
         “You’re kidding!”  
  
         I smiled and shook my head and she ran her fingers around the edges of the hole. “Can I rip it off?” she asked.  
  
         “Can you rip my shirt off?”  
  
         “Yeah.”  
  
         “Go ahead.” I reared up so that I was on my knees and she sat up, her eyes locked on mine. She grabbed one side of the tear in each hand and pulled hard, splitting my shirt cleanly from hip to shoulder. She immediately set her mouth on my skin, kissing across my belly and sliding her hands up my back. She pulled me down on top of herself and I crashed my mouth into hers.  
  
         She was astounding to me, every time.  
  
         I couldn’t think of any place I’d ever been happier than with my wife holding onto me, pulling me as close as she could. She fell asleep with her leg over my hip, her hands locked in my hair. I held her to me until she woke up. We’d been together for more than three years and she and I had yet to start losing interest in one another. I knew it would never happen for me; I was immensely pleased to find that Aeva was keeping pace.  
  
         We’d invited Edward to come and stay with us, but I found myself grateful he had decided not to come. Ed would have been so morose to be around Aeva and I, hearing all our thoughts about one another. I was glad I didn’t have to temper my thoughts; I was free to fixate on her as much as I wanted. Even when we were at Maria’s house, surrounded by people, I was thinking about her. Viktor was incredibly tired of me. He told me that getting married had been like resetting me; it was like I’d found my mate all over again and he’d been hoping that I was starting to get over the worst of it.  
  
         The only person that ever seemed to be able to pry my focus away from my wife was my son. Phoenix was learning at an astounding rate. The number of words he knew, the clarity of his sentences, and his imagination were all improving in leaps and bounds. I’d seen his personality right away, but it was becoming so defined. Seven months after his third birthday, exactly one year away from when he would start kindergarten, he was more clever than any child I’d ever known.  
  
         He and I were scheduled to spend a day alone together. Lidia was going to be starting her freshmen year of college and she, Frida, and Aeva were going to spend a day together as sisters. Aeva had been working for the last two weeks on crafting the perfect “going to college” care package. She’d made a series of beautiful watercolor flowers for Lidia to hang on her wall and had picked out a perfectly coordinated set of school supplies. My gift had been to help Maria with Lidia’s application for financial aid; Lidia had gotten some wonderful scholarships, but I had already paid her tuition, which meant she would be getting some hefty refunds.  
  
         Phoenix and I would get to see Lidia some other time; we were already signed up to be part of her embarrassing move-in crew. For that day, though, he and I were just meant to keep ourselves occupied. We’d spent the morning playing with Legos and a toy kitchen. Phoenix was a good mimic and practiced cooking with his plastic vegetables on a regular basis. After his lunch, he and I had set up at the breakfast bar with paper and crayons. Aeva had tested a theory a few months ago that Phee could “see” if he drew with crayons, which you could feel on the page. She’d been right and now drawing was one of his favorite pass times. We’d been at it for about two hours when Viktor walked through the door from the deck. He tried not to just appear in rooms if it might startle Phee.  
  
         “Hello!” He called.  
  
         “Hi, Papa!” Phoenix said over his shoulder. “Where ya been?”  
  
         “I’ve been vorking,” he replied, coming to stand behind my son. “Working” meant he’d been running errands for the Volturi. He was keeping us in their good graces.  
  
         “Vhere is Aeva?” He asked, tickling the back of Phoenix’s neck.  
  
         “She’s with her sisters today,” I replied. I pressed my crayon down hard, making my lines very prominent.  
  
         “Vhat are you doing?”  
  
         “Watch,” I smiled, tapping Phee’s hand. “Here, little guy, it’s ready.”  
  
         “Okay, big guy!” He said, giving me a huge grin. I led his hand down to the page I’d been working on and he slid his fingers over the waxy lines, lip poking out as he concentrated.  
  
         “What is it?” I asked.  
  
         “It’s a…is it…a rocket?”  
  
         “It is!” I laughed, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “Well done.”  
  
         Viktor slid the drawing I’d done out from under Phoenix’s hand while the little boy returned to his own masterpiece. I saw Viktor run his fingers over the lines as well. “Clever boy.”  
  
         “Finish up your drawing,” I said, running my hand over my son’s head. “Then it’s time for your nap. It’s almost three.”  
  
         “Can we do snack time and _then_ nap time?”  
  
         “You just ate an entire bowl of grapes.”  
  
         “But what about _another_ snack?”  
  
         “Certainly, when you wake up,” I laughed. “What would you like then?”  
  
         “A cupcake.”  
  
         “You want a banana? What a wonderful choice. You can certainly have a banana. I’ll even cut it up for you and everything!” I nuzzled my face against his neck and tickled his sides.  
  
         “No!” He squealed, laughing hard. “I said a _cupcake_. Not a banana!”  
  
         “We’ll negotiate after your nap.”  
  
         “Fine, let me finish this,” he sighed. He had gotten the hiccups from laughing so hard and he squeaked as he drew, Viktor watching him carefully. Phoenix was making lines and curves in a pattern that I knew: it was the design on the tile floor of Maria’s kitchen. He often sat on the floor of the kitchen when he was at his grandmother’s house so he could talk to her as she cooked. He preferred to be there than on a stool or chair because he could feel her steps through the floor and he knew where she was. He had probably run his hands over that design a hundred times. He always drew the things he found interesting and usually they were textures.  
  
         I cleared away his dishes and wiped down the counter while he worked. He drew with his left hand and ran his right over his work. Aeva and I had been surprised to learn he was a leftie. She said he got it from Jason. As much as we would have both liked, that man kept showing up in our son. Phoenix had sprouted freckles all across his nose and cheeks: another gift from his biological father. I was glad to see that most of Phee came from Aeva though. He couldn’t see and yet he was determined to draw. He’d taken to sculpting clay like it was nothing. Aeva said she’d teach him to whittle when he was five. His little hands were already turning tough like hers.  
  
         “It’s done,” he said, giving his paper one more swipe of his hand. “Can you guess what it is?”  
  
         “It’s Aebula’s floor,” I said, scooping him up off his chair.  
  
         “You got it!” He took my head between his hands and tilted it down to kiss my forehead. Apparently that was how correct guesses were awarded.  
  
         “Say goodnight to papa Vitkor,” I said, leaning so Phee’s hands could reach my father’s face.  
  
         “Good night, little vone,” he said, touching his forehead to Phoenix’s. “Have a peaceful rest.”  
  
         “Will you be here when I wake up?”  
  
         “Possibly,” he said. “I vill come back if you vant me.”  
  
         “Okay. Goodnight, Papa.”  
  
         I carried Phee to his room and tucked him into his bed. I always listened to him during his naps; occasionally he didn’t sleep. He would just lay quietly in his bed for a few hours and then get up and come out of his room. I never understood what he was doing when he laid still, but was wide awake. I wished vaguely that I had Edward’s power and could read his mind. As I laid him down, though, his heart and breathing rates were already slowing. He was tired and would actually sleep today.  
  
         I knelt down beside his bed and smoothed both my hands over his dark hair, staring down at him. His little pink lips turned up in a smile when I touched him and his long, dark lashes twitched as his eyes shifted. He had such beautiful blue eyes. He was looking past my face to the left while he ran his fingertips over my skin. He was checking my expression, so I smiled when he found my eyes.  
  
         “Little crinkles,” he said happily, bumping his fingertips over the outer corner of my eye. “Mommy doesn’t have those.”  
  
         “Not yet,” I agreed. “She’s too young.”  
  
         “Are you older than mommy?”  
  
         “Yes.”  
  
         “Hm.” He didn’t say anything else. He just set his palm flat against my cheek and ran it up over my temple and across my forehead. His fingers brushed my hair and he wrapped a curl around his thumb. “Can I touch your hair?” He asked, unwinding it. He’d come a long way from grabbing a fistful of Edward’s hair at the wedding.  
  
         “You may.”  
  
         He slid both his hands through my hair and I bowed my head, resting my forehead against his chest. He liked to do this occasionally. I knew my hair felt abnormally soft to humans and I had curls that never tangled or caught. Aeva liked to play with it and so did Phee. He did it differently than his mother though. She wound and unwound it from her fingers, or tugged individual curls to watch them spring back into place. Phoenix just liked to have my hair slip between his fingers; he said it felt cool like water. I turned my head so my ear was pressed to his chest and he sighed happily, gently hugging my head. One of his arms curved around my neck and across my shoulder; the other hand kept sliding through my hair.  
  
         “So nice,” he murmured, patting my shoulder. I laughed and his hand moved to my face to feel my smile. I kissed his fingers.  
  
         “I love you, Phee.”  
  
         “I love you too, daddy,” he said, kissing the top of my head. He mimicked the ways Aeva and I were affectionate to him; it made me smile every time.  
  
         “Are you ready to sleep?”  
  
         “Yes,” he said, releasing my head. “I’m ready.”  
  
         “Goodnight then,” I smiled, kissing his cheek.  
  
         “Goodnight.”  
  
         I smoothed his blankets out and rose, silently leaving his room and closing the door behind me. I took my time getting back down to Viktor, listening to Phoenix already drifting off.  
  
         “What brings you by?” I asked, plodding down the stairs. Viktor had moved over from the breakfast bar to the dinner table, seated at the head. He sighed, his expression grave, and said, “I need you to do something.”  
  
         “What is it?”  
  
         “Carlisle is in need of…assistance. His eldest is struggling.”  
  
         The other vampires that Edward referred to as siblings had most certainly been older than him when they were turned, but he had been turned first. As such, Viktor had always called him the eldest of the group. The last time Edward had been “struggling,” he had run away to live with my father and me. It was not a good sign that he was having trouble in his coven when he was so devoted to his father’s way of life.  
  
         “Is Edward hunting humans again?” I asked, taking a seat. “Has he killed his singer?”  
  
         “No, no. Carlisle is relocating the family at his request,” Viktor replied. That was incredibly odd. The Cullens normally stayed in place for five to six years at a time and they always moved because the humans were noticing that Carlisle didn’t age. They had relocated once because Jasper had needed space from humans, but otherwise it was never at the children’s behest. The entire situation was making me uneasy.  
  
         “What do you need me to do?”  
  
         “Vill you speak to him?”  
  
         “To Edward?”  
  
         “Yes. As I said, he is struggling. A conversation vith you may be beneficial for him.”  
  
         “Why me?” I asked, now getting frustrated. He was being cryptic, which was abnormal for my father when he spoke to me. “What could Edward be dealing with that’s out of Carlisle’s depth?”  
  
         “You’re closer to the issue,” Viktor replied. “Edvard has…taken a human mate. Like you.”  
  
         “Oh.”  
  
         The word was small; barely loud enough even for Viktor to hear. My emotions were conflicted. Edward had finally found his mate, and that was wonderful. But he was struggling with the arrangement. What could have happened to make him want to relocate though?  
  
         “Edward asked to speak to me about it?”  
  
         “No,” Viktor sighed, running a hand over his stubble. “Carlisle did. He is vorried, Nataniel. He is scared for his boy.”  
  
         “Scared for him?”  
  
         “Edvard is being erratic. There vas a mishap vith their newest male, Jasper.”  
  
         “The mood controller.”  
  
         “Precisely.”  
  
         “What happened with him?”  
  
         “I am…unclear,” Vitkor admitted. “It sounds like Edvard inflamed the situation. Carlisle told me they vere celebrating the human’s birthday.”  
  
         “How old is she?”  
  
         “She turned 18 on that day,” he replied. “They had a party for her. She cut her finger vith the decorative paper on the gift. Jasper reacted.”  
  
         “How severely?”  
  
         “He lunged. Edvard got between his brother and the girl, but vhen he pushed her out of the vay, she fell.”  
  
         “She _fell_? Why do you say that so seriously? Did she die in the fall?”  
  
         “No, she is alive and vell,” he assured me. “But she fell on to some sort of glassware. She cut her arm open. The youngest male vas incensed, but the big vone, Emmet, got a hold of him and took him out of the house. The others all had to leave as vell—she was bleeding qvite a bit, as I understand—but Carlisle cleaned her up. He gave her a few stitches and no vone bit anyvone.”  
  
         “Viktor,” I said, now genuinely irritated. “Carlisle wants me to talk to him about it, so you need to tell me everything. I can tell that you’re withholding information. Let me hear it. What happened after that?”  
  
         “I am hiding things from you,” he agreed. That only irritated me more because usually he would deny something like that and then, because he’d lied, I would be able to hear everything anyway. “Edvard is stubborn and often a poor listener.”  
  
         “He is.”  
  
         “In that I have always found you two to be a match,” he continued. “You have a vay of looking at the vorld and it is rather…set. I am not saying that you are vrong; I agree vith you much more often than I have ever agreed vith Edvard. But I vant you to hear the story from him. Carlisle and I both think it vould be best. Advise him on vhat is best for him, not best for you, eh?”  
  
         “Advise him?”  
  
         “Just call him and convince him to see you. I vill bring him here.”  
  
         Viktor was making me uneasy, but I pulled my phone out of my pocket. He looked out the windows across the lake. It was a polite gesture for him to make; to ask him to walk out of hearing range would have been a ridiculous request. He would hear the entire conversation with absolute clarity from anywhere in the house, so it didn’t matter if he stayed seated beside me. Looking away at least gave me the impression of privacy.  
  
         I dialed slowly and lifted the phone to my ear. It took a few rings before Edward answered.  
  
         “Yes?” He said.  
  
         “I…I, er…” I had no idea what to say to him. He wouldn’t respond well to me saying that Carlisle wanted me to talk to him; he’d respond even worse if I mentioned Viktor.  
  
         “You’ve heard then?” He sighed.  
  
         “I haven’t heard much,” I replied. “But you found your mate?”  
  
         There was an incredibly long pause on the other end of the line, but I could hear him breathing. “Yes,” he said finally.  
  
         “And she’s human? And a girl?”  
  
         “Yes.”  
  
         “But…something went wrong.”  
  
         There was another long pause before a very quiet, sad sounding, “Yes.”  
  
         “Would you like to talk to someone about it?” I asked. “Someone who doesn’t know her?”  
  
         “You’re offering yourself?”  
  
         “If you’d like to. I know you well, Ward. And I’m in the same situation, after all, with Aeva.”  
  
         “Your situation is different.”  
  
         “It’s closer than anyone else you know.”  
  
         He was silent yet again before he sighed and said, “Fine. Send Viktor.”  
  
         “Where are you?”  
  
         “We’ve moved to Toronto.”  
  
         “I’ll send him. Just a moment, alright?”  
  
         “Fine.” He hung up and I nodded at my father, who had heard the instructions. He vanished and I went about straightening up. He would take longer than an instant to collect Edward; he wasn’t as rude to people that weren’t me. He tended to ask them if they’d like to leave and give them time to collect themselves. He would just grab a fistful of my shirt or hair and steal me away from whatever I was doing.  
  
         I put all of Phoenix’s toys back in his toy chest and his books back in his section of the library before washing his dishes. I had just set the last cup back in the cabinet when there was a knock on the glass doors to the deck. I looked over and Edward was standing just outside, hands in pockets and eyes staring straight down. He looked like a child that had been sent to the principal’s office. When I opened the door and ushered him in, he entered silently.  
  
         “So,” I said, my voice matching all of his bodily discomfort. “Is there anywhere special you’d like to talk?”  
  
         “No, I don’t care,” he huffed.  
  
         “I think you might like the library,” I suggested.  
  
         “Good. Let’s go there then.”  
  
         I nodded, though he didn’t see it, and I led him down the proper hall way. I was irritated for a moment that he wasn’t looking around but then I remembered he could see through my eyes, so I took care to stare at each and every beautiful aspect of my house.  
  
         “I hear a heartbeat,” he said. “Is your mate upstairs?”  
  
         “My wife,” I corrected. “And no. That’s our son; he’s taking a nap, or I’d reintroduce you.”  
  
         “Would he remember me?”  
  
         “Probably not,” I admitted. “Anyway, here we are.” Aeva and I had added our two leather chairs from the old house to this room, on either side of a small coffee table to make a little sitting area. She’d decided the table should have a deck of cards and a packet of conversation starters, which Edward and I might actually need. I smiled at her considerate little gestures and dropped down into the chair on the left. Edward sat down in the chair across from me and leaned forward, plucking the deck of cards up and twirling them idly between his fingers.  
  
         “Your mate is very thoughtful,” he muttered.  
  
         “My wife,” I repeated, happily spinning the blue ring on my finger.  
  
         “ _Are_ you happy?” Edward asked, clearly responding to the thoughts in my head. “Truly, genuinely happy with her? Exactly as she is?”  
  
         “Of course I am. Why shouldn’t I be?”  
  
         “She doesn’t want to be changed?”  
  
         “She’s thought about it,” I confessed. “Part of her would like to be changed so that we can be together, and the other part knows she can’t go through with it because of Phoenix. But for right now, she’s happy being human. She hasn’t asked about it in a long time.”  
  
         “Bella wants…”  
  
         “Bella?” I asked, leaning forward slightly. “The girl’s name is Bella, then?”  
  
         Edward stuffed a hand into his pocket and produced a photo, tossing it down onto the coffee table. The picture he had was folded in half and facing up was a miniature Edward, looking absolutely morose. I picked it up and examined it closer, gently undoing the crease down the center. Beside my gloomy friend, arm wrapped securely around his waist, was a pale, dark haired girl. She was plain, but pretty. I stared at her for a long time, trying to puzzle out just what about her had so captivated my former companion.  
  
         “Everything,” he murmured, never one to wait to actually be asked a question. “It’s everything about her. Especially her scent.”  
  
         “What’s so great about her scent?”  
  
         “She’s my blood singer,” he laughed, crossing one leg over the other. “It’s intoxicating.”  
  
         “She’s your mate _and_ your singer?” I balked. “That’s some sadomasochistic stuff.”  
  
         “Is Aeva not your singer?”  
  
         “No,” I said, looking back at the photo. “She smells heavenly, to be sure, but she’s not my singer.” I was looking around the two people in the picture at the house they were in. They were posed awkwardly in front of a recliner with a few framed baby photos of her on the wall behind them. It could have been Aeva’s family home.  
  
         “It’s her dad’s house,” Edward explained without being asked. “His name is Charlie and he lives in Forks. He’s the police chief. I only met her because she came to live with him.”  
  
         “What made her move?”  
  
         “Her mother, Renee, wanted to travel with her new husband. He’s a baseball player.”  
  
         “Does Bella like Forks?”  
  
         “She’s miserable there,” he laughed, clearly remembering something specific. “She doesn’t like the cold.”  
  
         “She is with the wrong type of man then,” I laughed, referring to the temperature of our skin. I had only meant it as a little joke, but Ed’s face looked pained. “Oh,” I said, realizing I had made an error. “I’m sorry, Ed. I only meant—“  
  
         “I know what you meant. I agree with you, though. I’m the wrong type of man for her.”  
  
         “But you’re her mate, aren’t you? That means you’re exactly the _right_ kind of man for her, by default.” He looked away from me, out the window to the front of the house. He was abnormally stoic and something was clearly very wrong with him. A young vampire with a new mate should be radiating joy and energy, not slumped in an armchair looking like the poster-boy for depression. I realized I had cut him off before. He’d brought up changing our mates and I hadn’t let him finish his thought.  
  
         “Bella wants to be a vampire,” he sighed, looking back at me. His mind reading was starting to feel convenient again. “She wants it very badly. She says she wants to be with me forever, but…” He looked down at his knees. I knew his struggle with being a vampire. He believed his soul had been damned to hell and that, by changing this girl, he’d be doing the same to her. If she was pressuring him to go through with the change, that would be just about the right thing to make him look the way he did just then.  
  
         “Bella pressuring me?” He laughed, sounding bitter. “No, I’m afraid it’s often the other way around. I manage to force her to do all kinds of things.”  
  
         I had no idea what he was referring to, but he hadn’t lied to me. I swept through my own head, pulling up anything and everything I remembered about the young man before me trying to puzzle out just _what_ had him in this mood, as he didn’t seem ready to spit it out. He was forcing her to do things? There was only one act I could imagine he might beat himself up for coercing her into—or hell, even just partaking in himself—and that was premarital sex. He did enjoy it, though. I remembered lying with my chest against his bare back, my face bowed against his coppery hair. I thought of the contours of his pale, slender body curled around a woman instead, him taking my usual place in the arrangement.  
  
         “No, no,” he murmured, not looking up. “Nothing like that. In that arena, she _is_ the more insistent party, but I don’t let her win.”  
  
         “Why not?”  
  
         He stared at me, both incredulous and a little embarrassed. “I can’t…I can’t do that. Surely, _you_ understand it. You have your human as well! You must know how hard it is to control yourself when they…they…”  
  
         “When they seduce you?” I asked, cocking my head.  
  
         “Yes,” he sighed. “When they escalate things.”  
  
         “I don’t think I have the same problem with it that you do,” I laughed, involuntarily remembering a few times I’d given in to Aeva. Edward gasped and stared hard at the ground; I tried to clean up my mind.  
  
         “So you’ve…I mean…Bella’s asked but I didn’t think…But you’ve...?” He looked up at me.  
  
         “We have,” I confessed. “I would even qualify it as something that happens often, but it hurts.”  
  
         “I’ve worried about that. I would never be able to forgive myself if I lost control and—“  
  
         “No, no…not for her.”  
  
         He stopped talking and stared at me. “She…hurts you?”  
  
         “You’ve met her. She’s hot.”  
  
         “Nathan, can you please not—“  
  
         “No, Ed,” I laughed. “You’ve touched her. You know that she’s _hot_ ; her skin is very warm. It’s too warm for me. Her temperature burns after a little while when we have sex. But unless you’ve also found a living inferno, I don’t think it should be a problem for you and this girl.” I nodded at the photo as I set it back down on the table. He reached forward quickly and took it back, re-creasing it and staring at the side with the girl’s face.  
  
         “It won’t be a problem anymore,” he said sadly. “We won’t have to worry about it.”  
  
         “Ed?” I asked, leaning forward. He was making me tense up; something was _very_ wrong. “Is Bella okay? Is she hurt at all? Is…is Bella still…alive?”  
  
         “Yes, she’s alive,” he said, still looking down at her photo. “And she’s going to be fine. She’ll be better than she was when I was in Forks.”  
  
         The way he’d said that caught my attention. Viktor hadn’t told me everything that had happened and I was realizing that Edward had left out a huge part as well. It had been a long time since I’d heard anything that genuinely disturbed me, but a chill went down my spine as I asked my next question. “Edward, is Bella…Did you leave Forks without her?”  
  
         He went very still and said, “It’s better this way.”  
  
         “Did she tell you to go?”  
  
         He stayed silent and wouldn’t look at me.  
  
         “Ed, what did you do?” I asked. “What happened?”  
  
         “What do you already know?” He sighed, falling back against his chair. “I mean, clearly Viktor told you something.”  
  
         “I want to hear it from you. What happened?”  
  
         “Last year, Bella and I began dating,” he explained. “I took her to play baseball with my family.”  
  
         I knew of the Cullen’s odd pastime: baseball in a thunderstorm. I had never been interested.  
  
         “While we were playing, a group of nomads found us. One of their members liked Bella’s scent almost as much as I do. He set a trap for her and almost killed her. He bit her, Nathan.”  
  
         “Isn’t that what she wanted?”  
  
         “He was going to kill her, not change her,” he snarled. “But we found them before he could. Jasper and Emmet killed him and I sucked his venom out of Bella. She made it just fine. I thought after that I needed to stay even closer to her; she needed protection.”  
  
         “It sounds like it. What changed?”  
  
         “I ruined her birthday.”  
  
         “Viktor told me that,” I said, nodding. “You pushed her?”  
  
         “I didn’t mean to use that much force, but she’s clumsy anyway. She fell into all these plates and started bleeding everywhere. If it had happened at a normal human birthday party, she would have been fine. But she started bleeding in a house full of vampires; Jasper lost control of himself completely and had to be dragged out of the house. It took me ages to calm him down. He was so upset with himself; he’d been doing so well until then and I’d ruined his progress.”  
  
         “You ruined his progress? She got a papercut, Ed. You didn’t do anything.”  
  
         “He could have killed her.”  
  
         “But he didn’t.”  
  
         “But what about the next time she scrapes her knee or bites a nail too short? She isn’t safe around my family. And those nomads only found us because of how our scents mixed together; they would have never been interested if I hadn’t been with her. She’s almost died twice and it’s because of me.”  
  
         “She’s lived through both issues because of you.”  
  
         “She wouldn’t have ever been in danger if it weren’t for me! Don’t pretend you haven’t had the same thoughts, I can see in your head that you have. Viktor tried to kill Aeva. You’re remembering it right now. You two lied to the Volturi and now you’re all in danger too and it’s because of _you_. Those are your thoughts, not mine, so don’t pretend that you don’t understand what I’m saying.”  
  
         The convenience of his mind reading had turned annoying again. “Yes, I’ve thought the same things. But she wants me here.”  
  
         “And Bella wants me with her, but she’s only eighteen! She is ready to end her life for me right now and it’s barely even started, but I can’t do that to her! I can’t take her away from her family like that. If I don’t, though, and I stay with her then she’s going to get killed. Sooner or later, something stronger than I am will show up and end her.”  
  
         “So what did you do about it then?” I demanded. “Viktor said your whole family relocated when you requested it. Did you just leave her in Washington?”  
  
         “I didn’t just leave,” he snapped. “I talked to her about it. I explained myself.”  
  
         “What did you say?”  
  
         “I told her the truth.”  
  
         He had lied and his jaw went tight when he realized what he’d done. I saw the whole thing in his head:  
  
         He’d walked her into the woods by her house. He’d told her he was leaving with his family. Then he told her the first lie:  
  
         “Bella, I don’t want you to come with me.”  
  
         I saw the memory through his eyes and he’d been staring at her face when he’d said it. She looked different in person; her brown eyes had more depth than the photo let on. But when he said it her forehead creased and her mouth dropped open slightly. Not in shock, but in the way someone did when they felt a sharp pain.  
  
         “You…don’t…want me?”  
  
         She sounded different than I had expected. Her voice was lower with a slight rasp. Her words were quiet and slightly shaky as she said them; Edward lied again when he answered her question.  
  
         “No.”  
  
         Her eyes! How could he have held on through that conversation when her eyes looked like that? The hurt expression and the terror on her face melted into some sort of…resignation. She was accepting his lies as truth; she truly believed he could have stopped caring for her in a matter of days. What had he been telling this girl? How could she ever believe him?  
  
         They exchanged a few more words and Edward lied two more times, right in her face.  
  
         “You’re not good for me, Bella,” he’d told her. She’d bitten her lip and nodded slightly when he said that. She blinked tears away and I knew she’d misheard him. She thought he’d said “you’re not good _enough_ for me” and she absorbed that straight into her insecure teenage psyche.  
  
         I watched the rest of the horrible scene play out until it reached Edward’s fourth lie. He asked her to promise she wouldn’t do anything reckless. She’d agreed and he’d had the audacity to say, “I’m thinking of Charlie, of course.” He’d told her that he didn’t care if she lived or not, just that she continued to care for her father. Nothing else played in his head after that; it was the extent of what I needed to see to correct the lie he’d told me.  
  
         _I told her the truth_.  
  
         I wished then, that he’d explained everything in full to me, because then I wouldn’t have had to see her or hear her while he broke her heart. The expression on Bella’s face—a pale, fragile looking human I’d never met before—would haunt me for years, I was sure of it. Her upturned eyes; her wet eyelashes; her trembling chin; the goddamn crease between her eyebrows that disappeared the moment she accepted that Edward didn’t love her anymore.  
  
         The whole experience only took a few seconds. When I came back to myself, I realized I had my hand over my mouth. Edward was not making eye contact with me.  
  
         “This is bad,” I said, shaking my head at him.  
  
         “I know,” he agreed. “I know it is. I hurt her quite a bit, but it’s because I let her get attached to me. I should never have gotten involved with her, but I let my desire override my better judgement…”  
  
         “No, deciding to leave her was a bad idea,” I clarified. I could hear the horrified tone of my own voice and I didn’t try to conceal it. “You just…you just _left_ her. Literally, I might add, because you left her in some forest. That was unnecessarily dramatic.”  
  
         He clenched his teeth, but he was still listening.  
  
         “She…she’s your mate, Ward.” I saw his eye flash when I used my old pet name for him. “It’s not just…you can’t just walk out on that…”  
  
         “It’s just the same as we were,” he said, crossing his arms. “You left that.”  
  
         “It’s not the same.”  
  
         “Well, it…it’s stronger,” he admitted quietly, almost to himself.  
  
         I felt my expression soften, looking at him them. I knew it had hurt him, all those years ago, when I’d ended our correspondence, but only as bad as he’d hurt me. In comparison to what Aeva was capable of—how badly she could destroy me if she wanted to, just by sending me away—it was nothing. In comparison to what I felt for my wife and what I knew Edward felt for his Bella, anything he and I had shared was nothing. It was child’s play. Neither of us could have ever known just what we were waiting for. He looked up at me with sad eyes; he’d heard it all, of course.  
  
         “Edward,” I sighed. “It’s not the same as we were; not at all. I can’t…her face, Edward! You saw her face! You have to go back. You have to go back to her right now. She wants you with her. If Aeva ever…if I ever tried to leave and she didn’t want me to go…”  
  
         I wanted Aeva with me then. I needed her. I needed her to reassure me that she wanted me around. Just having witnessed that break up vicariously had hurt. I needed my wife and my mate to soothe the ache in my chest and the chaos in my head. Edward must surely need the same from Bella; that’s how mates worked. They were the one thing your entire mind and body wanted to focus on, so they could soothe even the wildest of panics. But Edward had cut himself off. He’d told her she wasn’t good for him. She had no idea how deeply calming her presence was. In myself, Aeva had cured almost 300 years of loneliness in that one day sitting on the couch in her apartment. Edward’s pain had been so much more desperate and I knew Bella had fixed it; I _knew_ she had. Edward had seen into Aeva’s head at our wedding; he’d told me that her feelings matched mine, ounce for ounce. Bella’s feelings matched Edward’s. She was hurting as much as he was, but more acutely. Edward was only separated from his mate; Bella believed he didn’t want her anymore.  
  
         I stared at his face for a long time. He wouldn’t meet my eyes.  
  
         “You have to go back,” I whispered. “You have to go back right now and fix this.”  
  
         “I can’t do that to her. I can’t be with her and pretend that she’s not in danger every second because of it; I can’t pretend like I’m human for her.”  
  
         “Edward,” I sighed, dropping my face into my hands. I scrubbed my palms against my closed eyes; he made me tired.  
  
         “I’m not going back,” he said, finally meeting my gaze. His eyes looked hard. “I’m not…I’m not going back. What would I say if I did? That I was only kidding? That I changed my mind? Do you really think that would make everything better?”  
  
         “You go back and you _actually_ tell her the truth,” I laughed incredulously. It sounded bitter once it was out of my mouth. “You drag your sorry ass back to Forks, Washington and tell her that you were trying to make a decision for her wellbeing but you chose wrong. After you say it you take whatever anger or resentment she gives you because you deserve it. You deserve it if she’s furious after what you did.”  
  
         “No,” he said, sitting up straighter. “I’m not going back. I told her she’d never see me again and I’m going to keep my word. She’ll move on.”  
  
         “Mates don’t move on,” I growled. “I know you’ve seen Marcus.”  
  
         Edward recoiled slightly at my mention of the Volturi brother, but he kept speaking in his determined tone. “She’s a human, not a vampire. She doesn’t have a mate. She will move on and I am going to stay away and let her do it.”  
  
         I stared at him in utter disbelief, largely because of how firmly _he_ believed what he was saying. He thought this girl was going to move on from him. Humans feared vampires. Any humans that were attracted to us were only drawn in by our physicality; they didn’t stay once they knew what we were. He and I had both found humans that were opposite to that rule. I knew Aeva was my mate; I also knew humans didn’t have mates, so I’d made her my wife. She and I had no intention of ever _moving on_ from one another. It wouldn’t happen. Edward had genuinely convinced himself that it might and he was staring at me, jaw set, willing me to buy into his delusion as well.  
  
         “This is exhausting,” I sighed, dropping my head into my hand. “If you’ve made up your mind not to be with her anymore, then nothing I say is going to change it. You can hear everything I’m thinking and I’ve said my piece. I think you should go back, you disagree. Fine. You’ve already left, anyway; you made your choice.”  
  
         “But did I make the _right_ choice?”  
  
         “You know, I’m willing to bet that Bella would have appreciated it if you’d thought that out before right now.” He glowered at me and I wished that I was the mind reader between us; maybe this process would go faster if I knew what he was actually thinking. All of it, not just the parts he felt were noble enough to say out loud. I sighed and tried again. “If you knew you weren’t going to change your mind, why did you come and speak to me?”  
  
         “I need help,” he confessed. “I feel…I feel awful and I don’t know what to do. Going back to Bella to have her fix me isn’t an option.”  
  
         “Fine then. You’ve left her and you don’t want to pretend to be human anymore. So don’t pretend to be human. Take some time and be a vampire; as I recall, you used to be fairly good at it.”  
  
         “You’d have me go back to _that_?”  
  
         “You don’t have to commit serial murders to be a vampire,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “Go roam around a little: wander, hunt, run. Break shit with your hands, I don’t know. Be a vampire.”  
  
         “I couldn’t let that part of me have free reign and expect to have any self-control around humans when I come back to Carlisle.”  
  
         “I disagree with that. How can you expect to control an animal if you don’t understand how it thinks? Your body has reasons for wanting what it wants; once you live in it, once you learn your own motivations, then you can actually start to manipulate them.”  
  
         “I don’t want to _live_ in this body; I never have.”  
  
         “I know you have your issues with what we are. I understand them, truly, I do. You’ve given me numerous, incredibly thorough explanations. But it doesn’t matter, Ward. None of it matters. Monster or not, soul or no soul, this is what we are now. It doesn’t do us or anyone else any good to pretend that we aren’t.”  
  
         “I won’t accept that.”  
  
         “Well then what do you want?” I demanded. “You know that I have no qualms with what we are now. You know I chose my human mate over everything. You know you disagree with me on both counts. Why are you here?”  
  
         “I don’t know! I thought you would help me think things through!”  
  
         “If you want to think things through, you come to me before you leave your mate!” I roared, leaping to my feet. Edward jumped up to match my pose. “You left her, Ed! You _left_ her!”  
  
         “I had to!”  
  
         “She loves you; you’re made to be with her.”  
  
         “She’s young and she deserves better.”  
  
         “You _abandoned_ her!”  
  
         “She wasn’t safe!”  
  
         “You’ve destroyed her; you understand that, right?”  
  
         “You can’t possibly know that.”  
  
         “Look at you!” I shouted, shoving his chest. His legs hit the chair he’d been sitting in and he fell backward. He scrambled back up, but I stepped forward and landed another shove.  
  
         “Stop!” He shrieked, angrily swiping his hair out his face.  
  
         “She can’t be any better off than you and you’re a mess, Edward,” I said, voice low, as I stepped toward him. “You’re not hunting enough; can you even feed yourself?”  
  
         “It’s harder; the animals are smarter now and—“  
  
         “The _animals_ are smarter?” I scoffed. “You’re a _vampire_ , man. You’re smarter than a goddamn deer.”  
  
         “Why are you so angry?” He demanded, pushing me away.  
  
         “Because you told me at my wedding that you wanted what I have!” I roared. “You told me you wanted to find your mate and to be as happy as I am with mine and you did and then you just left her! You had what you wanted—what we both wanted—and you don’t care enough about her to stay!”  
  
         “I care enough about her to leave!” He protested. “You think your wife is safer with you here? You think your son is safe? You invite _Viktor_ here to stay with them; you let him watch your son while you’re gone. He’s a human hunter, Nathan. Are you fucking insane?”  
  
         Edward never cursed; I had genuinely upset him.  
  
         “You are so certain that I’m in the wrong!” He continued, pushing me back again. “But your mate and your child are in danger because of you. You feel like you have to stay because they could be attacked if you leave, but they would never have been at risk if they’d never met you! You know that’s true!”  
  
         “Your mate was _already_ attacked and you think leaving her now will make her _safer_?”  
  
         “It’s the best thing for her!”  
  
         “If she dies, it will be because this killed her! Not another vampire; you abandoning her!”  
  
         “If your family gets killed it’ll be because you’re being punished! Not anything they did; just because you’re here!”  
  
         “I know that!” I shouted. “I know if they die it’ll be my fault, but at least I’ll be here to protect them!”  
  
         “I’m trying to draw the danger away from Bella! You think I’m not worried about her being alone?”  
  
         “You think I’m not terrified for my family?”  
  
         He opened his mouth to retort, but a quiet, sleepy voice cut across our argument. “Daddy?” Phoenix said from upstairs.  
  
         “We woke him up,” I said, looking straight over our heads. “Wait here.”  
  
         “I’m not staying,” Edward snapped. “Not if this is how you’re going to speak to me.”  
  
         “You’re one to talk.”  
  
         “You’ve only been right about one thing and that’s that I disagree with you.”  
  
         “Well, _obviously_ you disagree.”  
  
         “Dad!” Phee called, more insistent this time. Usually he didn’t have to wait. I heard his bedroom door open.  
  
         “Hush, little vone,” Viktor said. “He stepped out. Vhat do you need?”  
  
         “Go take care of your son,” Edward spat. “Send Viktor down here to take me home.”  
  
         “What are you going to do when you leave?”  
  
         “I don’t know! Remove yourself from our fight for just a moment and please tell me what you _actually_ think I should do.”  
  
         “Be a vampire,” I insisted. “Grief and guilt are human emotions; quit being so human and they might die down.”  
  
         “Get Viktor.”  
  
         “Fine,” I said, putting my hands up in surrender. “He’ll be down in a minute.” I pushed past Edward and walked upstairs, into my son’s room. Viktor was crouched by Phee’s bed, talking to him.  
  
         “Hey, Phoenix,” I said. He turned his head toward my voice. “What’s up, little guy?”  
  
         “I heard something and it woke me up.”  
  
         “What did you hear?”  
  
         “Yelling.”  
  
         “I was talking to someone,” I explained, picking him up. “I yelled.”  
  
         “It sounded like you,” he said, nodding. He was too perceptive of things like that for me to lie and say it was just a movie. I jerked my head at Viktor and he vanished, reappearing in the library to take Edward away. “Will you be okay if I go back to sleep?” Phoenix asked, running a hand over my mouth to check my expression.  
  
         “Yes,” I laughed. “I’ll be alright. Let’s get you back in bed.”  
  
         “Will you stay with me?” He said, gripping my shirt tighter as I tried to lay him down. “Just for a little bit?”  
  
         “Of course.” I turned and laid on his bed myself. It was too short and I had to leave one of my legs resting on the floor, the other one bent tightly at the knee. Phoenix straddled me while he wrapped his blanket around his shoulders before laying down with his head on my chest. I wondered if it registered to him that I didn’t have a heart beat; it probably did, he just didn’t ever say anything. He matched his breathing pace to mine and fell back asleep, my hands resting on his back.  
  
         I adored my little boy. I knew Edward was right. If anything ever happened to Phoenix, it would be because of his association with me. I couldn’t leave him, though. He loved me and trusted me so completely that I was a given in his life. He had no concept of living without a father that appeared in his door way the second he called for him; a father that was cold as ice and a mother that ran hot. He loved me and he loved Viktor too. Viktor was changing because of Phoenix; he was becoming gentler. Phoenix was waking up Viktor’s humanity and it was letting me be close with my father again. Aeva had come to trust Viktor as well. The four of us were an actual family and it was such a precious feeling that I would defend it from anything. I knew Aeva and I had decided a long time ago that she would stay human for Phee and that I would stay with them; we had decided to cross the Volturi bridge when we came to it. We had contingency plans for if things fell through: Phoenix would go to her family and I would change her. We could bargain for that much with Aro.  
  
         Was I being selfish by accepting that plan as a real solution? Was I simply so infatuated with my mate, my son, and our little life that I was failing to give enough weight to the risks we faced? What if Edward was right? What if the best thing for Aeva and Phoenix was for Viktor and I to clear out and leave them alone forever? As I laid in the dark, holding my son’s little body, I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough to do what Edward had done. I would have broken down if Aeva looked at me the way Bella had looked at him. I couldn’t leave them if they wanted me to stay. Did that mean I was weak?  
  
         I kept asking more and more questions like that in my head and came up with no answers. I heard Viktor moving around downstairs, clearly waiting for me to find him. I didn’t want to leave Phoenix though, so I just spoke into the dark room.  
  
         “Did you hear all of it?”  
  
         “I did,” he replied, appearing beside me in Phee’s rocking chair. “It did not go vell.”  
  
         “It did not,” I agreed.  
  
         “Do you doubt your human now?” He asked, keeping his voice low so as not to wake Phee. “Do you doubt your own choices?”  
  
         “Yes. I mean, I always have, but my concerns are certainly more…pronounced now.”  
  
         “This is good,” he said, nodding wisely. “Doubt makes you reevaluate.”  
  
         “Do you think I need to reevaluate?” I asked. “Do you think we should leave?”  
  
         “ _Ve_ should not do anything,” he said. “I have already tried taking you avay and that does not vork. I vill follow you; you know this. I believe you vhen you say Aeva is your mate. I also know that ve are not in good standing, legally.”  
  
         “We are not,” I agreed again.  
  
         “I vill accept your decision. I alvays have, no?”  
  
         “You have.”  
  
         “This is the most agreeable you have ever been,” he laughed. “Perhaps you should fight vith the Cullen boy more often.”  
  
         “Shut up, Viktor.”  
  
         “ _There_ is my son. I vas getting vorried.”  
  
         I laughed in spite of myself and turned my head to look at him. He was bent forward, elbows resting on his knees. It was a very out of character pose for him; it violated his usually impeccable posture. “Shall ve go talk?” He asked.  
  
         “No, I want to speak to Aeva first,” I replied. “It concerns her; I don’t want to make decisions about our life when she’s not here.”  
  
         “Fair enough. Vould you like me to stay close?”  
  
         “You can roam.”  
  
         “I vill hunt,” he said, getting to his feet. I noticed his eyes were a dark wine color. He never let them turn black anymore; it was a precaution now that he spent so much time with my family. He gave me a small nod and vanished.  
  
         I stayed with Phoenix for the rest of the day. He woke up after an hour or so and we went down to the library to read together. We also climbed down the stairs off the deck to swim in the lake. The water was getting colder; it was probably one of the last few days of the year that it would be warm enough to play in. I dried him off and we colored together again, this time in Aeva’s studio because Phoenix liked how it smelled in there. I asked if he meant that he liked how Aeva smelled, or how all the supplies in the studio smelled; he said they usually smelled the same.  
  
         He missed Aeva, I could tell; he was just too loyal to me to say it out loud. I wondered how smug she would be if she knew her absence left two very pitiful boys waiting for her to come back. He and I made do, though. He didn’t even mind that Viktor had left. It was another thing that he had gotten used to: his grandfather just came and went. It might have made more sense to him if he’d been able to see Viktor disappear and reappear, but that would lead to a whole host of other things that needed explaining.  
  
         Aeva wasn’t planning to come back from her day with her sisters until after dinner with her whole family. They wouldn’t eat until six thirty or so, and it would be a three-hour drive for her after that was with at least one stop in the middle. She wouldn’t be back until at least ten which would—in an ideal world—mean that Phoenix would have been sleeping for at least two hours before she arrived. But I was alone with him, so he would almost certainly still be awake. If Aeva or I were alone with Phoenix, we both had little things we let him get away with. Aeva fed him chicken nuggets and grilled cheeses for dinner, but kept him exactly on his schedule. I made sure he ate well balanced meals and healthy snacks, but I had a hard time making him go to bed for the night.  
  
         He’d eaten arroz con pollo for dinner and a pudding cup for dessert. He and I were stationed in his room, playing make-believe. Playing pretend with Phoenix meant answering a lot of questions; he was a stickler for authenticity.  
  
         “I am going to be the king,” he announced, holding his cane like a scepter. He had gotten very good with the thing; Aeva and I mostly allowed him to forgo its use when he was in the house, but he would unfold it for games like this. “What does a king look like?”  
  
         “Like you,” I replied, fishing out his toy crown from the chest. “But you need this.” I placed it on his head and he searched it over with his free hand.  
  
         “Oh, yes,” he agreed. “I need a crown to be king. What else?”  
  
         “You’ll need a cape,” I said, pulling his blanket off his bed and tying it around his neck.  
  
         “When mommy and I played superheroes, she said _they_ have capes though.”  
  
         “They both do. Superheroes have short capes; kings have long capes.”  
  
         “Why though?”  
  
         “I don’t know. I think long capes just make you look important.”  
  
         “Kings are very important,” he said, nodding his head. “That makes sense. Okay, I’m the king! What are you going to be?”  
  
         “What would you like? Friend or foe?”  
  
         “What’s a foe?”  
  
         “A bad guy.”  
  
         “Oh,” he said, nodding again. “Be a bad guy. Be a dragon so I can kill you!”  
  
         “You can’t tell me how the game ends before we start.” He laughed, but I got on all fours and let him figure out that I was in the proper position before I started growling. We’d already discussed dragons and dinosaurs, so he didn’t have questions about what he was dealing with.  
  
         “Dragon!” He commanded, whapping me with the cane. “Oh, sorry, daddy, I didn’t know you were that close.”  
  
         “It’s okay,” I whispered. “I forgive you.”  
  
         “Dragon!” He continued. “What are you doing in my kingdom?”  
  
         “Wait, am I a talking dragon?”  
  
         “Um…yes. You can talk.”  
  
         “I am here to eat your princess!” I roared, pounding my hands on the ground.  
  
         “Well then, you’re too late! She’s already dead!”  
  
         I couldn’t help but laugh. “What do you mean she’s already dead? What happened to her?”  
  
         “I don’t know. She got hit by a car or something.”  
  
         I _really_ started laughing then. Phoenix was not amused and sat on the floor, arms crossed, until I was finished. If I’d been human, I certainly would have had to wipe tears from my eyes. When I looked up to continue our game, Phoenix was in the middle of a very large yawn.  
  
         “Are you tired?”  
  
         “No,” he said. He was lying and I told him so, sweeping him up and tossing him onto his bed.  
  
         “You always know when I fib!” He said, raising his chin so I could untie his cape.  
  
         “Then you would think you’d stop telling fibs, hm?”  
  
         “Probably not.”  
  
         “Lay down,” I chuckled. He squirmed down and set his head on his pillow while I tucked him in. “Good night, little guy. I love you.”  
  
         “Love you too, big guy.” He latched his arms around my neck to give me a big hug and I kissed his forehead. I shut of his light and made sure he heard me leave before I went down stairs. Being with him all day had quieted my mind, but once I was alone again, all my worries came roaring back. I wanted Aeva, but it was only nine o clock.  
  
         I knew I couldn’t just sit around and wait for an hour, so I busied myself with tidying the house at human speed. I washed and folded a load of laundry and decided I might as well put something together for tomorrow night’s dinner. I could fix it and store it over night, perhaps a pasta bake. Aeva and Phoenix loved anything topped with cheese.  
  
         I was leaning over the stove staring down into a pot of boiling water, when Aeva walked through the door to the garage.  
  
         “Hello there,” she said brightly. I glanced over at her and she tossed the car keys on the counter, taking a seat at the breakfast bar.  
  
         “What are you making?” She asked. “It is terribly complicated?”  
  
         I couldn’t help but smile at that question, knowing what my answer was. “I’m just boiling water for pasta.”  
  
         “Why are you concentrating so hard?”  
  
         “I like the sound,” I replied, finally turning around to look at her.  
  
         “Why?”  
  
         “I don’t know, it’s calming. I mean, until I was around humans, I never needed to boil water. It’s just a sort of white noise sound I like: a bubbling pot.”  
  
         “And you’re sure you’re a vampire and not a witch?”  
  
         “Pretty sure,” I laughed, walking around the bar to sit in the chair beside her. I took her hands gently in mine and kissed her fingers before setting them down on top of my own leg. I knew she was staring at my face, so I stared at her hands.  
  
         “Do you want to talk about your day?”  
  
         “Nothing happened,” I shrugged. “Edward came over and talked for a while.”  
  
         “Edward Cullen?”  
  
         “Yes. He hasn’t been doing well recently, so Viktor had me invite him over.”  
  
         “Whatever you two talked about has you bothered,” she persisted, brushing her fingers against my cheek to make me look at her. Her worried black eyes were almost too much to bear. “Please,” She urged, “tell me what he said.”  
  
         I smiled and turned my head to press a kiss against her palm.  
  
         “You’re stalling.”  
  
         She wasn’t wrong. It took a long time before I finally spoke, mouth still against her skin, and said, “Edward found his mate.”  
  
         “Is that a bad thing?”  
  
         “No,” I sighed, getting up out of my seat and walking back to the stove. I stared at the box of penne I was going to boil, but I didn’t feel like cooking anymore. Aeva and Phoenix needed to eat though. I wasn’t up to it, I would order them something. I flicked the stove off and sighed heavily. I heard Aeva take a deep, slightly shaky breath behind me and I turned to see what she was doing. She was staring down at her lap, a deep furrow between her eyebrows and her lips pressed in a tight line. She was thinking very hard; I’d clearly upset her. Usually _I_ was the one trying to find out what was going on in _her_ head. But now, on the other side of the equation, I felt uneasy. I didn’t want her to worry about me, but I didn’t know that I could tell her what I was feeling without shouting again.  
  
         I wandered over and stood in front of her, bent at the waist with my hands resting on my knees to look into her eyes. It was a moment before she noticed me and her face did not change. “What’s wrong?” I asked.  
  
         “You’re freaking me out,” she admitted. “You’re being weird and secretive. What’s going on?”  
  
         “Aeva,” I said, tone deadly serious. “You know I won’t leave you unless you tell me to go, right?” I wanted to make that clear before I said anything else. I waited until she nodded.  
  
         “What if I left anyway?”  
  
         I saw goosebumps raise on her skin as I said it. I heard her heart rate increase and her breathing became quick and shallow, but I remained focused on her face. My eyes never left hers, even as I watched her pupils contract in fear.  
  
         “What…what do you mean?” She whispered.  
  
         “What if I just left? What if I told you it was for your own good and then I left you? What if I disappeared completely and I took everything I’d ever given you with me? Every photo, every memento, every trace I’d ever been here? What would happen to you?”  
  
         She stared at me, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape for a long time.  
  
         “Aeva, answer me,” I demanded. “What would happen to you?”  
  
         “I…I don’t know,” She said, her voice shaking. “I don’t know what I would do…I don’t…please don’t…” I saw one tear slide down her cheek and I realized what I had done. My eyes went wide in panic for half a second before I swept her up, taking her seat and nestling her in my lap. I moved too quickly for her to notice that we’d changed positions, but after a moment she registered that I was holding her. Her legs dangled off the side of mine and I had my arms wrapped securely around her small body, my right hand pressing her head to my chest. My cheek rested against her hair, my chest slowly expanding and contracting with very intentional breaths. She had started hyperventilating.  
  
         “Breathe with me,” I instructed, pressing a kiss into her part. “Please calm down. I’m so sorry, love. I didn’t mean to do that to you. I don’t know what I was thinking. Oh, love, just breathe with me.”  
  
         She slowed her breathing to match my pace. Her fingers were clenched in my shirt and as she calmed down, she very deliberately relaxed her hands, looping her arms around me and pressing her palms them flat against my back instead. I held her more securely and gently played with her hair. I trailed kissed all over her forehead and across her cheeks, desperate to calm her down all the way. I was chastising myself for having alarmed her in the first place.  
  
         “Aeva,” I whispered, head bowed close to hers. My cinnamon breath mixed with her orange and chocolate scent. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think enough about how that was going to come across; I’m not leaving you, I swear. I could never, never leave you. I’m just upset.”  
  
         “Upset about what?”  
  
         “Edward left her,” I murmured, hugging her even tighter. This time, it wasn’t for her benefit, but for my own. She understood and gripped my shoulder blades, pressing as close to me as she could get. “He found his mate and there was an accident,” I continued. “She got hurt and it set off his brother, Jasper. He went after her.”  
  
         “Is she okay?”  
  
         “It was fine. They stopped Jasper and Carlisle gave the girl a few stitches. It should have been fine, but Edward…left her. He cleaned himself out of her life and just…left.”  
  
         “That’s terrible,” she whispered, running her hands up and down my back. The lines of who was comforting who had been firmly blurred. She wanted me to feel better, as Edward’s decision had clearly disturbed me, but I knew she had a massive weight in her chest at the thought of me doing that to her. I couldn’t imagine what Edward’s mate was going through. She was even younger than Aeva had been when I’d met her; she was just a kid. I hoped someone was taking care of her. I also very much wanted Aeva to feel reassured that I _wouldn’t_ leave, but even I had a shadow over my brain picturing her all alone. She was probably praying for Bella just like I was.  
  
         “What did you say to him?” She asked. “What did you say when he asked for advice?”  
  
         “I told him he’d made a bad decision. I told him he needed to go back, but he didn’t listen.”  
  
         “So what’s he doing now?”  
  
         “He’s not sure what he’ll do.”  
  
         “Do you think he’ll go back to her?”  
  
         “I think he’ll have to,” I sighed, resting my lips in her hair. “He can’t stay away. Not if this is what they have. I just…that poor girl. She didn’t ask for this. She didn’t want him to go. I saw her face in his head. Her expression was just so…how could he even do it?”  
  
         I went quiet for a long while and she took a deep breath.  
  
         “Okay,” she said, looking up at me. “You accidentally scared me, but you’re _not_ leaving.”  
  
         “Absolutely not.”  
  
         “Okay, I trust you,” she said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. There was no lie in her head. “You’re staying; I’m okay. You need to stop comforting me; this isn’t about me. This whole Edward situation is weighing on you.”  
  
         “I’ll be alright, really.”  
  
         She shook her head and continued. “You’re not. You told me it takes something very big to change your emotions, and whatever he said was big enough to do it. You’re hurting,” she said, cupping my cheek in her hand. “Let me take care of you.”  
  
         My god, she was beautiful. Her eye lashes were still wet and her nose was shiny. Even after crying, her face was the only thing I wanted to look at. Her sweet, dark eyes were staring straight into mine and she kept her left hand on my face, stroking my hair with her right. I had wanted her so badly when Edward was here; every fiber of my being had been calling out for her. I adored hearing her give me that command: _Let me take care of you_. She was a human and I was a vampire; there was no way she could physically defend me from something that might actually do me harm. But I had never felt safer than I did right then, with her hands on me and her eyes staring into mine. I nodded and turned my head to kiss her palm.  
  
         “What’s bothering you about this Edward thing? _All_ of it, please.”  
  
         I sighed, not quite ready to speak yet. I was still organizing my thoughts. “Give me a moment,” I said. “Will you kiss me in the meantime?”  
  
         “Of course,” she laughed, leaning forward and gently pressing her lips to mine. She held onto my head with both hands and I left my arms wrapped around her. Already, the turmoil in my head and my chest was settling. She soothed me like nothing else could. I smiled as she broke our kiss and I bowed my head, resting it on her shoulder so that my nose grazed her neck.  
  
         “You seem tired,” she commented. “But that doesn’t happen to you, right?”  
  
         “Not physically,” I murmured. “I suppose I would describe what I’m feeling as…emotional fatigue.”  
  
         “Do you need to lie down?”  
  
         “No,” I said, closing my eyes. “I just need to be with you.”  
  
         “What do you _really_ need?” She laughed, tugging my ear. “I want to help.”  
  
         “It really is just you,” I replied, sitting up so I could look in her eyes. “I don’t know if it’s a mate thing or because I missed you today, but I just need you close.”  
  
         “You missed me?”  
  
         “Yes, very much so.” I set my head back down and hugged her closer. She might not have been sure just what was bothering me, but every move she made was exactly the one I needed. She held my head to her with one arm and wrapped the other around my shoulders. I had known that she might not understand how devoted to her I was, or just how permanent our bond was. I knew she would need reassurance. I hadn’t thought about how much I needed reassurance on her end. If the set of my mind said that I would stay as long as she wanted me, then I needed to be reminded that I was wanted.  
  
         “Do you love me?” I asked. She let out one of her loud laughs before hugging me tightly.  
  
         “Of course I love you,” she said, kissing my temple. “Oh, Nathan, were you worried about that? Yes, I love you. Did I do something to make you question that?”  
  
         “No, I just…wanted to hear it.”  
  
         “Nathan, I love you,” she said firmly. “I am so deeply in love with you, it’s astounding. I just want you around all the time.”  
  
         “Do you?”  
  
         “Yeah, always. I thought you knew.”  
  
         That made me smile. “I love you too.”  
  
         “I know,” she said, playing with the hair at the nape of my neck. “I know you do.” We stayed, locked together like that, for a few more minutes before she pushed out of my lap and sat on the stool beside me.  
  
         “You aren’t getting out of talking just because you’re cute,” she said, making me laugh. “Now what happened? You freaked me out with all that talk about leaving, so I know you’ve been obsessing about something Edward said. Tell me.”  
  
         “I think Edward made a bad decision.”  
  
         “I don’t know much about Edward, if I’m honest, but aren’t bad decisions like…his thing?”  
  
         “Stop making me laugh. I’m trying to be emotionally fatigued.”  
  
         “I’m _so_ sorry,” she sneered, rolling her eyes. She was smiling though and I propped my head on my hand, leaning on the counter, just to stare at her. “But I’m right, right? He does stupid shit all the time.”  
  
         “You’re not wrong,” I assented. “Edward has retained the emotionality and…impulsiveness of a teenager.”  
  
         “And the flair for dramatics.”  
  
         “And that, too.”  
  
         She leaned forward suddenly and tapped her lips to mine in a quick kiss. “Sorry,” she said. “You were cute again. Sorry…sorry, let’s get back to our serious discussion of the dramatic teenager.”  
  
         “Aeva!” I groaned, taking my turn to roll my eyes. “He’s a teenager but he’s not a…teenager. He’s my friend!” She gave me a skeptical look. “He’s sort of my friend,” I corrected. “I care what happens to him; is that fair?”  
  
         “I’ll take that. I know he bugs you sometimes, because he’s sort of rude, but he usually doesn’t get under your skin. What is it about this time? What is it about this thing with his mate?”  
  
         “Give me another moment. I’ve almost got it together in my head.”  
  
         “Okay, but we’re not kissing while we wait this time. That doesn’t help either of us think.” I chuckled and reached toward her, twirling a lock of her hair around my finger. Mates were something well known by vampires, but not well studied. None of us really knew what bonded a pair together, but I was grateful Aeva was for me. Viktor and I had both been skeptical of whether or not a vampire could form a full-fledged mate-bond with a human, but Aeva and I were living proof that it was true. The way she spoke to me and the way she touched me was exactly my preference, and I didn’t know whether that was because I had a preference already in place and she fit it or because I just preferred her. She was better than anything I could have hoped for, and human lives are so short! I was lucky to have found her while she was young, so I could have time with her. I was lucky to have found her at all. She and I had beaten massive odds and she made me so happy. Edward and his Bella had done the same, but he left her alone. Edward had added to the tiny, but growing body of proof that vampires could have human mates, but he didn’t stay with his in order to better protect her. Did that mean that what Aeva and I were doing wasn’t worth it? It wasn’t worth the risk? He was all I had to compare us to, and he’d done everything so differently…  
  
         “They’re another us,” I said finally. “Edward and his mate. That’s…that’s how I think of them. Well, thought of them. They _could_ have been another us, at least. They’re another human and vampire couple and if they…if they could have made it then maybe…I don’t know. Maybe they could have been some kind of proof that this works. But Ed got scared and he ran off.”  
  
         “And?”  
  
         “I told him he shouldn’t have,” I shrugged. “I told him not to leave her; I told him he had to go back. But he didn’t listen. And now I know that there’s this human girl who’s just been…destroyed…and then there’s Edward, lurking around somewhere pretending he’s okay with it.”  
  
         “And that’s all that’s bothering you?”  
  
         I groaned and leaned forward, setting both my elbows on the counter top. “It’s just making me question things. I mean…is Edward stronger or weaker than I am? I know I couldn’t leave you unless you wanted me to go. But I also know you’re in danger just by being with me; you’d be safer if I left. Ed thought the same thing, so who made the right decision? Who’s stronger, out of the pair of us? Is it him, for leaving her even though she didn’t want him to? Or is it me, for staying with you come hell or high water?”  
  
         “Do you need to know the answer to that?” She asked. “Do you need to be stronger than him?”  
  
         “I just want to know who did the right thing. What he did feels wrong, but maybe that’s just because its unpleasant to imagine.”  
  
         “Do you get why he did it though?”  
  
         “Yes, I understand it completely.”  
  
         “But you still disagree, and that means something. You know why he left his mate and it still doesn’t seem like a good idea.”  
  
         “I suppose,” I allowed. “But what if he’s right? What if _I’m_ right?”  
  
         “Maybe it’s just too soon to tell,” she replied, putting her hand on my knee. “He _just_ made his decision. He has time to change his mind. The girl might even end up okay. We don’t know.”  
  
         “We don’t know what will happen to us either.”  
  
         “We don’t,” She agreed. “But Edward only gets a say in what happens to him and…?”  
  
         “Her name is Bella.”  
  
         “Edward only gets a say in what happens to him and Bella,” She said. “He doesn’t get to decide what happens to us. It’s you and me, okay?” She reached up and took my left hand, gripping my fingers with her own left hand. She had laced our fingers together so that we were both looking down at our rings. “Edward can make his own choices and we’ll make ours. I know that the best thing for me and for Phoenix is for you to be here. I don’t know why I know that, but I do. Maybe the best thing for Bella _is_ for Edward to run away, or maybe you’re right and he needs to go back. It doesn’t matter. You’re supposed to be with me, okay?”  
  
         She put her right hand on the side of my face and led me down to her for a long, slow kiss. “You’re supposed to be with me,” she repeated.  
  
         “I am,” I said, nodding. “I’m yours.”  



	5. Outed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things change fast.

###  _Aeva_

  
  
         “You’re supposed to be with me.”  
  
         “I am,” he said, nodding. “I’m yours.”  
  
         The last time he’d used those words, the last time he’d said he belonged to me, was when he proposed. That was so long ago; we’d been married for months, but we were over a year away from when he’d dropped down onto his knee on our deck. I had been so confused when I thought he was telling me he was leaving. His proposal had actually run through my head then. _Whatever happens to us, no matter what it is, I’m yours, unequivocally_. If he had continued on—if he’d been doing what I thought he was doing—I know my confusion would have turned to anger. I wouldn’t have pushed him away, though; I would have shouted at him until he changed his mind back. I would have fought him. I would have fought _for_ him; he was _mine_.  
  
         He hadn’t been leaving, though; he’d been hurting. I had held him and talked him through it. When we had left the kitchen and gone to our room, we’d laid down together with his head on my chest and my hands sliding through his hair. I was finally taking care of him; usually, we felt so uneven. I always felt that he was taking care of me, but I was able to pay him back in kind. It made me feel married. I had understood what it felt like to be in love with him and to be his partner but I genuinely felt like I was married as I held him that night.  
  
         And, quite frankly, _fuck_ Edward Cullen.  
  
         How dare he come into my home and upset my husband? If I’d been able to, I would have fought him. I wanted to find him _right_ now and set the record straight: he was not to speak to Nathan if he was going to make him feel this horrible. If he ever dared to again…I don’t know how I would arrange it, but I would mess him up. I’d probably enlist Viktor’s help.  
  
         I had always been an intense person, but I’d never been combative. Here I was, certain that I would have fought two vampires. Perhaps this wasn’t just me feeling like a wife, but me feeling like a _mate_. I kissed the top of Nathan’s head as I combed my fingers through the hair above his ear. He had told me all sorts of things about what it meant for us to be a mated pair. Mostly, he talked about the sweet things, like how deeply we loved one another and how we would never find a better match for ourselves. But he’d also told me that you don’t mess with a mated pair unless you have a death wish. That’s how I felt, holding him: no one had better mess with Nathan unless they had a death wish. I wondered if I felt that defensive of Phoenix; I’m sure I did, but he’d yet to be hassled.  
  
         “What are you thinking about?” Nathan asked.  
  
         “Nothing.”  
  
         “Please do not fight Edward Cullen,” he laughed, lifting his head to look at me. I’d forgotten that I couldn’t lie to him like that. “But since you’re wondering, that’s _exactly_ what it feels like.”  
  
         “Like what feels like?”  
  
         “Being a mate,” he clarified.  
  
         “It feels like you want to kill people?”  
  
         “It feels like I want to defend you. It feels like I want to protect what we have.”  
  
         “Would you argue with me if I tried to kick you out, or would you just go?”  
  
         “Are you kicking me out?”  
  
         “Yes,” I said, smiling. “I’m tired of you being here.” It was an intentional lie just so he would know the full extent of how much I wanted him around. He smiled and laughed out of his nose, dropping his forehead down onto my chest; all he needed was pink in his cheeks and it would have been the perfect picture.  
  
         “Okay, you’re not kicking me out,” he mumbled. “You’re _definitely_ not kicking me out.”  
  
         “Not a chance. But if I tried to, would you argue with me?”  
  
         “I think…I’m not sure,” he sighed, turning his head so he was lying properly on my chest again. “Edward lied to Bella when he left her. He told her he didn’t want her and that he didn’t care about her. He lied to _me_ about it too, which is why I know that. But if you did that, I would know. I think I would argue with you then; I would try to convince you to change your mind. But if you were telling me the truth—either that you didn’t love me anymore or that you still did, but genuinely wanted me to go—I wouldn’t fight you.”  
  
         “Please fight me on it,” I laughed. “Even if I mean it when I say it, fight me on it. Or lie to me and pretend to leave, but stay close. I know I would change my mind back eventually. I would want you back.”  
  
         “It’ll be easier if you just don’t kick me out.”  
  
         “Deal.”  
  
         He laughed again and slid his arms between my back and the mattress, hugging me to him. He was returning to his usual self and I smiled into it when he leaned up to kiss me.  
  
         The days after that only further cemented the fact that Nathan should stay with me. I was so in love with him, it was pitiful. And so was the rest of my family.  
  
         “Lidia, get out of the _way_."  
  
         “But I’m not sure if this is where the bed is going to go!”  
  
         “I will move it if you want me to move it,” he said, rolling his eyes. “But I need to set it down.” I knew he was lying, but he’d been propping up Liddy’s loft bed for a long time. A normal human would be tired by now.  
  
         “Oh my gosh, _okay _.” Lidia stepped out from under the bed and Nathan locked it into place. I didn’t know where else she wanted to move the thing. There weren’t that many options in a dorm room.  
  
         “Where do you want these?” I asked, waving two desk lamps at her.  
  
         “One on the dresser, one on the desk.”  
  
         Nathan and I were helping her unpack her things while Mamá had taken Phoenix to go get us lunch. My little sister was moving in at the University of Pennsylvania; she’d gotten into an Ivy League school to study literature. The little book worm had turned out to be genuinely brilliant.  
  
         “Did you unpack your suitcases yet, or are those still full of clothes?”  
  
         “They’re still full. I didn’t want to fill the dresser up yet because we might want to move it. It would be too heavy then.”  
  
         “Trust me, Nathan will be able to move it.”  
  
         “Hey!” Phoenix shouted, rushing into the room ahead of Mamá. “We brought burgers!”  
  
         “Thank you!” I laughed, crouching to hug him. “I’m _starving_.” The humans sat down to eat while Nathan put together a futon frame. Liddy was the first person in our family to be going to college and we were all extremely proud of her. Nathan had helped her with all her application materials and placement tests and her tuition and, as such, was possibly her biggest supporter. He was every bit the proud older brother as he set her room up.  
  
         “Now,” Mamá said. “Remember that you’re here to study. No drinking and _no_ boys. Your sisters have a bad track record with boys. I don’t want you starting one.”  
  
         “Mamá!”  
  
         “I, for one, think Aeva did very well on that front,” Nathan huffed, spinning an allen wrench on a screw.  
  
         “Okay, if you find another Nathan, you go get him,” Mamá leveled. “Other than that, no boys.”  
  
         “Mamá, please, it’s my _first_ day. My roommate isn’t even here yet. Please calm down.”  
  
         “I’m just trying to set you up for success.”  
  
         “You’re going to do great,” Phoenix said. “You’ll be the smartest person here, I bet.”  
  
         “Gracias, sobrino,” Lidia smiled, hugging him to her side. “And I’ll only be the smartest person until you grow up. Then it’s you, for sure.”  
  
         “Yeah, I’m not smart right now.”  
  
         “Yes you are!” I laughed, swatting his knee. “What makes you think you’re not smart?”  
  
         “I don’t even know what words mean. _What_ is a protractor?”  
  
         Nathan laughed and tossed himself down on the now fully assembled futon. “You don’t know what a protractor is, but what kind of dinosaur had a plate on its head?”  
  
         “Pachycephalosaurus.”  
  
         “You know words,” Nathan said. “Just not all the words. Give it time.”  
  
         Nathan and Phoenix practiced all the dinosaurs Phee knew while we finished getting Liddy settled. Mamá tried to stall for as long as possible—we took Lidia grocery shopping, we helped her roommate move in when she arrived, we took them both to dinner. Finally, I threw my arm around Mamá’s shoulders.  
  
         “It’s time to go,” I said. “It’s going to be fine.”  
  
         “I know, I know, I’m just worried, hija,” she sighed. “She’ll be so far away.”  
  
         “You’ll be alright, I promise.”  
  
         We looked over to find that Nathan had set up the printer, which was the last task Mamá could think of. We each took turns giving Liddy hugs and kisses. Nathan lifted her up when he hugged her and she was laughing when he set her down.  
  
         “You’re going to do great,” he said. “Call us whenever; we’ll come.”  
  
         “Okay,” she replied, grinning. Then it was my turn. I folded her up in the tightest hug I could give her.  
  
         “Hermanita, te amo,” I said, squeezing the air out of her. “I’m so proud of you. You can do this. You’re so brilliant, Liddy. You’re brilliant and beautiful and your freshman year is going to be the best.”  
  
         “Aeva, I’m nervous.”  
  
         “Don’t be,” I said, letting her go to stare in to her eyes. “It’s just school; you’re good at that.”  
  
         “There’s a lot of other stuff too.”  
  
         “You’ll figure all of that out. Somos Sanchezas. We can do anything.”  
  
         “Si, somos Sanchezas.” She nodded, took a deep breath, and let me go. I cried more than Mamá when we left and Phoenix was worried. He kept petting my hair and holding my hand. Nathan looked at me in the rearview every few minutes, but he was occupied by Mamá, who was sitting in the front seat beside him and clutching his hand while she sobbed. If this is what anyone had felt like when I went to New York with Jason, I owed a lot of apologies.  
  
         Everyone was growing up around me. Phoenix could correctly pronounce the names of dinosaurs and was going to start school in a year, Lidia was going to college, Manuel and Holly had another baby! Nathan was just the same as ever though.  
  
         I had returned to landscape works, since I had such large windows in my studio. I was getting bored, though, and I had been thinking more and more about going to art school. I could get a job in graphic design. I was more than content to be at home with Nathan and Phoenix while Phee was small. Now that he was going to go school, I wanted to find something more difficult to do. I had decided to wait until Phee was at least attending full days of class before I started a degree. Nathan was an avid supporter of my goal and had been ordering packets of information from art schools around the nation. He’d devised an elaborate plan that would allow me to go anywhere which involved Viktor transporting me to and from home every day.  
  
         Seeing him every day like that wouldn’t even be that strange. He was around very often, though we made sure he only interacted with Phoenix every few weeks. Phee believed that Viktor lived in another city and only visited; he didn’t know that his grandfather was around most evenings after he went to bed. Viktor and Nathan spoke about the Volturi on a regular basis; they had yet to request that Nathan accompany his father to their halls again, but we made plans in case it happened.  
  
         We had so many plans laid for the immediate future and a few laid for more long term items, but one thing stuck out to me: Nathan didn’t change. I hadn’t considered it with any great importance in the first few years, but it was becoming more and more noticeable to me. When I had met him, I was a nineteen-year-old. Now, I was only two years away from the age he’d been when he was turned. We’d been together for so long that I couldn’t worry about things like that without him noticing.  
  
         As I climbed into bed one night, he took my face in both his hands, kissed the tip of my nose and said, “Why are you being so weird lately?”  
  
         “I’m not being weird.”  
  
         “You _are_ being weird,” he said. “You’ve been getting weirder too. It started when we dropped Lidia off at school in September, but it’s March now and you’re worse. What has you bothered?”  
  
         “I look different than I did in September.”  
  
         “This again?” He flopped down onto his back and patted his stomach. “Get up here; we’ll do just what we did last time.” He was referring to when I’d been uncomfortable with how I looked after I’d given birth. I laughed at him and climbed over his body, straddling his hips.  
  
         “I don’t want you to worry,” I said, reaching up to take my hair band out. “I know that I’m still incredibly hot.”  
  
         He laughed at that, but his breath caught a bit when I let my hair down. I saw his pupils dilate momentarily and I smirked at him. “Hold on there, we’re just having a conversation.”  
  
         “I’m so sorry, it’s just that my incredibly hot wife is distracting me. What were you saying? You look different than you did in September?”  
  
         “Yeah, look.” I pulled a lock of my hair straight, showing him how it hung down to my chest. “I got it cut, remember? Back after Phee’s last birthday I cut it up to my collar bones. Now it’s all the way down here.”  
  
         “It grew,” he agreed, reaching up to twirl the lock around his finger. “Does anything else look different to you?”  
  
         “I’ve stopped wearing eyeshadow. I just do eyeliner now.”  
  
         “And sometimes you wear dark red lipstick, too. I like that.” He smiled and tugged my hair to make me bend down for a kiss.  
  
         “What else?” He wanted me to lay down, but I pushed against his chest to sit up again. He sighed and ran his hands down my legs.  
  
         “I don’t know. I blew out the thigh in that one pair of jeans and I had to get a new pair. I wear skinny jeans now.”  
  
         “I like those too.”  
  
         “Can you quit it!” I laughed, pulling his hands off my legs and pinning them over his head. “I don’t need you to flirt with me. I told you, I know I’m incredibly hot, _especially_ in my eyeliner and new jeans.” He grinned and leaned up, kissing my neck and collar bone.  
  
         “I know you don’t need the reminder, but god I love to let you know. You are _beautiful_ , love. Come here, please.”  
  
         “No, we’re talking. You’re the one who said I’m being weird.”  
  
         “Well if it’s not you, it’s me. What’s wrong with me?”  
  
         “You look the same as you did in September.”  
  
         “I’ve looked the same for a long time, now.”  
  
         “I know.”  
  
         He caught the sad tone in my voice and sat up so that we were face to face, me straddling his lap. “You knew that,” he said quietly. “You knew I wouldn’t age. I can’t.”  
  
         “I know, and…I don’t want you to think that I wish you could or anything like that,” I said, setting my arms around his neck. “I love you just how you are, I just didn’t know that I would notice it so soon. It’s just going to take some getting used to.”  
  
         “And that’s what’s been bothering you this whole time?”  
  
         “Yeah.” I didn’t bother hiding my thoughts from him. He would know if I did and I always felt better when I told him anyway. He smiled when he realized I’d told the truth.  
  
         “We have a few more years before we really have to think hard on it,” he said. “We won’t have to say I’m your son until you’re sixty.”  
  
         “Sixty? I’ll be pretty old then.”  
  
         He grinned and flipped me on my back, holding himself above me on his hands and knees. “When people look at us, they think we’re college sweet hearts. Later, they’ll just think you’re the older woman. Then you’ll be a cougar and I can be your arm candy.”  
  
         “I’ll be a cougar!”  
  
         “Yes. We’ll decide how to play out the years after that.”  
  
         We hadn’t really resolved anything, but we’d breeched the topic at least. We could figure things out later; like he said, we had a few years before we really had to worry. For now, I could simply lay under my husband and be in love. I wasn’t even as old as him yet. We were kissing, but he lifted his head. The playful smile fell off his face and he looked toward the bedroom door. Suddenly, his muscles were tense under my hands.  
  
         “What’s wrong?”  
  
         “I can’t hear Phoenix’s heartbeat,” he murmured.  
  
         Ice water poured through my veins and my hands clenched on Nathan’s arms. Phoenix’s heart had stopped. I scrambled to try and sit up, but Nathan set his hand on my shoulder to stop me.  
  
         “Stay still,” he instructed. “I’m listening…”  
  
         A loud roar made both of us jump. Viktor had suddenly appeared and he leapt onto the bed in a fervor. He moved too quickly for me to understand what he was trying to do; one instant he had a fist full of Nathan’s hair, cranking his head back, and the next they were gone. Sickening dread had just begun to seep into my chest when he reappeared, still frantic, hands scrabbling for a hold on me. He found purchase as he latched onto my wrist and I dropped suddenly from the height of the bed down onto a stone floor. He held me too tightly and as I fell there was a painful snap from the bones of my hand. Nathan snarled and Viktor released me, taking a few quick steps backward and raking a hand through his hair.  
  
         I bent forward, clutching my right wrist to my chest and Nathan crouched above me in a clearly defensive pose. Although I was injured, he wasn’t really paying me any attention, which was just as well. There was a more pressing matter at hand: Viktor had stolen us out of our home and dropped us in a dimly lit tunnel. At the sight of human skulls embedded in the walls, I realized we were in some sort of catacomb. Nathan had me slightly behind him and his eyes were on his father.  
  
         “Change her!” Viktor barked, pacing frantically in front of us. “Do it now, Nataniel!”  
  
         “What?” He demanded, standing upright. His face showed either fear or shock. Quite possibly both. I was certain my expression had to match his. Viktor wanted him to change me? I was supposed to stay human; Viktor had been on board with the idea for quite some time now. Why had he suddenly changed his mind?  
  
         I was still trying to make sense of it when Viktor lunged at me, yanking me upright. He had one arm locking both of mine against my chest while he held me to him. My feet weren’t touching the ground and I dangled helplessly in the air while he clamped his other hand in my hair, forcing my head back against his shoulder. He was offering my neck to Nathan and I cried out in pain as his arm clamped down harder against my injured wrist. There was a crunching noise coming from it as he shook me roughly and Nathan’s eyes were wide with panic.  
  
         “Bite her!” Viktor commanded. “NOW Nataniel!”  
  
         Nathan locked his hands around his father’s wrists, squeezing hard enough that fault lines began to creep up the back of his hands. I was starting to hyperventilate but Nathan kept his focus on his father and I didn’t dare look away from my husband’s wide, yellow eyes. Viktor’s face was reflected in them: he looked terrified.  
  
         “Viktor,” Nathan said, keeping his voice low and even. It was a warning. “Let Aeva go.”  
  
         “No, you must change her,” he hissed. “Ve have vaited too long.”  
  
         “ _Viktor_ ,” he repeated. “I will break your hands off if I have to. Let. Aeva. Go.”  
  
         “I vill do it myself then!” I saw Vitktor’s head move toward mine out of the corner of my eye and I screamed. Things happened very quickly then; too quickly for me to process. One instant, I was about to be bitten. The next, my back was up against a wall and I was leaning forward onto Nathan’s back, one of his hands placed protectively on my hip as he stood in front of me. Viktor knelt before us screeching at two jagged stumps where his hands had formerly been. The ends of his arms weren’t bloody, per say, but they were leaking something sticky and silver. His hands were nowhere to be seen and I thought I might vomit.  
  
         “VIKTOR CALM DOWN!” Nathan roared, finally cutting off his father’s screams. “I’ll help you put them back on, just tell me what the hell is going on!”  
  
         Viktor’s terrified expression was suddenly pained as he whined, “He vent to Aro, Nataniel. Aro _knows_.”  
  
         I didn’t know exactly what he was talking about, but I knew that as a collective we had only one secret from Aro and the rest of the Volturi: Phoenix and I. But how could Aro possibly know? I wracked my brain to think of anyone that might possibly want to betray Nathan and Viktor, but I was coming up dry. Did the pair of them have more enemies than they had told me about?  
  
         “Who went to Aro?” Nathan asked, his even, commanding tone shaking just a little bit. “Who told him?”  
  
         “Edvard.”  
  
         I felt all the air leave Nathan’s chest at the name. Edward had turned us in.  
  
         “Why would he…why would he do that?” I asked, knowing Nathan couldn’t speak just then.  
  
         “He thought his human killed herself, so he vent to Aro to ask for death,” Viktor explained. “Aro touched him.”  
  
         “Edward is…” Nathan choked, gripping me even tighter. “Edward is _dead_? And now Aro is coming after….?”  
  
         “No,” Viktor snarled. “No, Edvard is _not_ dead. His human isn’t even dead. They’re both alive! He almost revealed our kind to humans just to provoke the Volturi into murdering him and he revealed your secret to the brothers and _his human isn’t even dead_. She’s fine. She vent to Volterra vith his sister to collect him and now they can live happily ever after but _ve_ are in danger.”  
  
         “How do you know all of this?”  
  
         “I vas in the room vhen he arrived; I saw him touch Aro and Aro _looked right at me_. I stayed around just long enough to see vhat Aro might decide; he said Edvard could change the girl, so now you must do the same! Change her, Nataniel! Change Aeva now!”  
  
         Nathan’s grip on me loosened just slightly and I realized he’d been hurting me. I would probably have bruises where his fingers had dug into my leg, but he seemed calmer. “Viktor, we can’t do that,” he said, the shakiness gone from his voice. “Phoenix needs her. He’s alone at the house right now.”  
  
         “No, he’s not. I took him. Just change Aeva! You stay vith her; I vill hide vith the boy until she’s safe or Aro is dead or vhatever ve must do!”  
  
         “Where did you put Phoenix?”  
  
         “In your home.”  
  
         I clearly didn’t understand the full significance of that statement, because Nathan started growling. Viktor’s face turned slightly apologetic and Nathan growled louder.  
  
         “Nathan,” I said, trying to break his attention. “Nathan, I think my wrist is broken.”  
  
         He glanced over his shoulder at me and his expression was pained. “I’m so sorry, Aeva,” he murmured. “We’ll get it looked at.”  
  
         “Don’t fight Viktor,” I mouthed, trying not to make any sounds at all. “We can’t get to Phee without him.” Nathan’s eyebrows raised slightly, but he nodded, turning back to his father.  
  
         “Viktor, we’re not changing Aeva. We’re going to run,” he said, his tone much gentler than it had been before. “You need to take us to Phoenix though. We’ll hide there.”  
  
         “Nataniel, you need to change—“  
  
         “Take us to Phoenix,” he repeated. “We’ll decide what to do then.”  
  
         Viktor stared at him for a long time, silvery venom dripping from his wrists to the floor. Finally, he nodded.  
  
         “I threw your hands over there,” Nathan said, jerking his head to our right. Viktor nodded again and stalked off in that direction. Once his father was out of our line of sight, Nathan spun to check on me.  
  
         “Are you alright?” He asked, taking my face in both of his hands.  
  
         “I’m mostly okay, I’m just scared,” I whispered. “And my arm is hurt.”  
  
         “Let me see,” he said, gingerly taking it in his fingertips and bending my wrist while he listened. “Not broken,” he said. “But you’ll need a brace.”  
  
         “How do you know Viktor won’t just separate us,” I said, using my good hand to turn his chin so he had to look at me. “Viktor could take me somewhere and change me on his own.”  
  
         “He won’t,” Nathan said, sounding very resolved. “He was just scared; he won’t hurt you.”  
  
         “He _already_ hurt me,” I disagreed, nodding at my injured hand. “He’s not safe right now; he’s still scared. What are we going to do if he separates us and changes me?”  
  
         “I’ll kill him.”  
  
         There was no hesitation in his answer, no uncertainty at all, so I nodded. He kissed my forehead and turned to face his father, who was walking back with his hands now reattached.  
  
         “Who first?” He asked, reaching toward us.  
  
         “Me,” Nathan said, stepping forward. I’m glad he had made a decision so quickly, because I was still puzzling out who should be with Phoenix if the pair of us were separated. I suppose if Viktor _did_ turn me, it was best that I not be around our son.  
  
         Nathan’s fingertips touched Viktor’s and they were gone. I didn’t have any time to be scared of the catacomb I was now alone in before Viktor had returned, hand still out stretched. I looked at him warily and he turned his gaze toward the ground.  
  
         “I am sorry,” he muttered. “I am sorry I hurt you. Come now, Nataniel vill vorry.” He beckoned slightly with his fingers and I grasped them. There was a momentary swoop in my stomach and suddenly we were in a story book.  
  
         That is the best description that can be given for the place I’d been taken to. It was a cottage right out of the pages of a fairy tale. The floor was old, worn wood covered by colorful but threadbare rugs. The furniture was all wooden with straw stuffed cushions. There was a fire burning in the hearth under a large, dangling cookpot and a wood burning stove off in the corner with an old fashioned kettle ready to make tea. The room wasn’t very big, but it had space enough for the kitchen area, a small wooden dining table, and a little sitting area near the fire. There were two doors, one on the front wall and one on the back wall, but no windows.  
  
         I glanced up when I heard a slight clacking noise and saw that, dangling from the wooden beams overhead, were un-painted marionette dolls. Some were shaped like animals and some like people, but all were bare and wooden, tinted orange from the fire light. There were footsteps overhead, which made the dolls click against one another again, and then the sounds of someone descending a stair case. Nathan appeared through the back door a moment later, obviously relieved to find Viktor and I in the house.  
  
         “He’s upstairs,” he said, coming straight to me. “Phoenix is upstairs; he’s sleeping.”  
  
         “What is this place?” I asked, leaning into Nathan’s chest as he set his arms around me. We peered around the room together and Nathan seemed sad.  
  
         “It’s my home.”  
  
         Before I could ask anything else, Viktor made an uncomfortable sound and we both looked at him. He had his hands clasped in front of himself and he was staring down at the ground. His usual haughty air was gone, replaced with…remorse?  
  
         “I’m going to go now,” he said quietly. “I lost qvite a bit of venom.”  
  
         “Go,” Nathan sighed. “Go eat. Please don’t go far.”  
  
         “I vill stay vithin hearing range.” He vanished without another word and I looked up at Nathan, whose eyes had not left the spot where Viktor had stood.  
  
         “What’s wrong with him?” I asked. “I mean…other than the obvious panic.”  
  
         “He knows I don’t like to be here,” Nathan replied, finally looking down at me. “He put Phoenix here in an effort to keep me away.”  
  
         “Why don’t you like to be here?”  
  
         “It brings up difficult memories.”  
  
         “Do you, like…maintain it?” I asked, peering up at the toys overhead.  
  
         “Viktor pops in once and a while to shake the dust out. We stayed here a few times over the years, but never often and never very long.”  
  
         I stared up at him, a tragic expression on his beautiful face. I was missing something big about him and it all centered on the strange little house we were in. I looked up at the marionette dolls again; some had been sanded smooth, but others still bore the tell-tale divots and chips of having been whittled. I wondered at who could have made all of them while Nathan hugged me just a little bit tighter.  
  
         “Let’s get you to bed,” he murmured. “You still need to sleep. Come on, I’ll show you where Phee is.”  
  
         I nodded and he took my hand, leading me back toward the door he had just entered through. This room was freezing cold and had three features: A door to the outside, a window showing nothing but inky blackness, and a sturdy wooden staircase. Nathan led me up the stairs and I found myself in an exact replica of the room I had just left, including the door that lead to outside.  
  
         “Why is that here?” I asked, pointing at it.  
  
         “Sometimes the snow gets too high to go out the other one,” he replied, a small smile appearing on the corner of his mouth. “All the houses around here have them.”  
  
         He pushed open the other door in the room to reveal a very narrow hallway. It seemed to wrap around the second story in an L shape, cutting across the back and going all the way to the front of the house where a tiny window let in a bit of light. You could see the moon in the front window.  
  
         “Our room is this first one here,” he said, guiding me to the nearest door. Inside was a bed made for two people, a set of drawers, and a small table with a wash basin. Nathan stepped inside and pulled the big, bright quilt off the bed. He wrapped it around me like a cape, bundling me tight.  
  
         “I know you like to be cold,” he said, smiling. “But this place might be a little chilly even for you. Phoenix is just next door in the front bedroom. Do you want me to go with you?”  
  
         “No, I can find him,” I said, leaning up to give him a kiss. “Lay down, amante.”  
  
         “Yes, love,” he said, setting his arms around me. “Stay warm.”  
  
         I stared up at him for a moment, trying to puzzle out his expression. “Are you worried?” I asked.  
  
         His face went from concerned to a quick flash of deepest sadness. “Yes,” he whispered, setting his forehead against mine. “I’m worried and I’m so, _so_ sorry, Aeva. This is my fault. I invited Edward to our wedding; I let him meet you. Now the Volturi know about us and it’s _my_ fault. I’m so—“  
  
         “Shh,” I hushed, sneaking a hand out of the quilt and setting it against his cheek. “We can’t go back. We can’t undo anything. There’s no use tearing yourself up about it. I’m glad I got to meet Edward, I’m glad he came to our wedding. We always knew the Volturi might find out about us; if it wasn’t this, it would have been something else. You can’t blame yourself.”  
  
         “I still do,” he sighed, setting his hand over mine. It was his left hand and I could see the evil eyes I had painted on his ring. I guess the charm didn’t work after all, or maybe it only worked for humans. He held the bedroom door open for me and let me go back out into the hall alone. I went straight to Phee’s room and pushed the door open. I was surprised it didn’t creak.  
  
         He was lying in one of two beds in the room, a night stand with a wash basin between them. He was sleeping right under the window and I stared at him, not realizing how fast my pulse had been going until it started to slow down while I watched him breathe. He was wrapped up in all his own blankets from home; Viktor must have scooped him up in a big bundle. His hair was ruffled, but that was nothing new. Other than that, he was perfectly fine.  
  
         I walked to him, kissed his forehead, and left his room. I wandered back to the room Nathan and I would be in for the duration. When I opened the door, Nathan was there. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and nothing else and he was sprawled across the bed, ready for me to lie down with him. He was laying diagonally, his head on a pillow and his hair brushing the head board, while the rest of his lanky frame snaked its way across and over the blankets. One of his feet dangled off the end of the bed, his calf resting on top of the footboard. His other leg was bent at the knee and his toes touched the floor. He had his left hand on his stomach and his right one lolling off the edge of the bed. He looked comically huge, like Snow White when she slept across all seven dwarves’ beds.  
  
         “You’re too big,” I laughed, hugging my quilt around me and shuffling over to him. His eyes were closed as he laid there, but he chuckled and lifted his right arm, reaching for me. I climbed into the bed—the wood frame creaking loudly as I did—and tried to find a comfortable position. Nathan’s body cut straight across the mattress in the most inconvenient way and he wasn’t moving for me. I could tell from the little smirk on his face his reluctance to change positions was purely a ploy to irritate me. I settled for lying almost directly on top of him. He slid his arms around me and I propped myself up on my elbows to stare down at his face. He peeked one eye open to look at me and I laughed.  
  
         “You look cute wrapped in antiques,” he said, opening both eyes and grinning at me. “This quilt is older than Luisa.”  
  
         “Old blankets and tiny beds? This place really does have it all.”  
  
         “Tiny beds!” He agreed loudly. “Who did those people in the 18th century think they were, topping out at four foot nine?”  
  
         I almost laughed at his joke but I caught myself. “Wait,” I said, “you’re _from_ the 18th century.”  
  
         “I am.”  
  
         “Were you a _giant_?”  
  
         He laughed so suddenly he actually snorted. “I’m still a giant, but yes, I was bizarrely tall for my time.”  
  
         “Viktor too!” I exclaimed, trying to remember when he’d been born. “He’s like, three times as old as you, but you two are the same height. Why was he so tall?”  
  
         “There were lots of tall people back then,” Nathan said, shrugging slightly. “They just usually didn’t live as long. They got sick during their growth spurt or there wasn’t enough food. Stuff happened.”  
  
         “Were you the only giant living in your village?” I asked, resting my chin on my hand. He stared at me for a moment like he was measuring me.  
  
         “Is this going to be another interrogation?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. I shrugged and he rolled his eyes, but answered my question anyway. “No, I wasn’t the only one. I told you, I got my height from my father. We were both like this.”  
  
         I didn’t _want_ to interrogate Nathan about his human life, but it was simply too tantalizing. I barely knew anything about his life before he was changed or even his early years as a vampire. He’d given out snippets and I knew those well: He had been married once before, but he’d divorced her. His father’s name had been Björn, but he’d died when Nathan was young. He’d had a sister, but she and his mother had also died before he was changed. After he was changed, Viktor had him join the Volturi, but they didn’t stay long and lived as nomads once they left.  
  
         That was all that I knew about his early life.  
  
         I laid my head down on his chest and asked the most harmless sounding of the many questions in my head. “What was your father like? Your real one?”  
  
         “I don’t know,” he sighed, settling his arms around me. “I don’t have any memories of him. I only know about him from stories. He was the toy maker, so lots of people knew him. He was tall, like me. He was older than my mother when they married; he was about thirty and she was sixteen.”  
  
         “That’s almost twice her age.”  
  
         “Not unusual for the 18th century,” he reminded. “But he was always sort of…sickly. When Natalia and I were eight or nine, he passed away.”  
  
         “Who’s Natalia?”  
  
         “She was my sister,” he replied. I could tell from his voice that he was smiling. “Nataniel and Natalia, the toy maker’s twins.”  
  
         “I didn’t know you were a twin,” I said, lifting my head to look at him. He did indeed have a smile on, but his eyes looked sad.  
  
         “There was a brief time when I didn’t know I was a twin either,” he said quietly. “Did you know it’s possible for vampires to have no recollection of their human life whatsoever?”  
  
         “Yes,” I replied. “That’s how Viktor is, right? He doesn’t remember?” Nathan smiled and nodded.  
  
         “That’s how Viktor is,” he agreed. “But I know. I know what happened to me. I could have forgotten all of it. I could have just walked away only knowing what my reflection had told me.”  
  
         “What?”  
  
         He looked up at me. “The first story I heard was my own,” he explained. “I’d imagine it’s pretty close to what you know about my past. Maybe a little less even. I first saw myself after my change in a puddle in the barn Viktor had dragged me to. It was horse urine. I remember the smell.”  
  
         I grimaced.  
  
         “Unpleasant, I know,” he laughed. “But that was where I learned my basics. Then when Viktor checked on me, I learned his past. Mostly just things you already know: vampire, part of the Volturi, nomadic. The last thing I heard was that he’d successfully changed a blond boy. That was me. That’s how I found out what I was.”  
  
         “You didn’t know?”  
  
         “I didn’t. I didn’t know anything; I couldn’t remember it.”  
  
         “Why did Viktor change you,” I asked, tracing a finger across the skin of his chest. “Why did he pick you out?”  
  
         “I asked him the same thing. He said it was because I had told him to kill me. He changed me instead; it was a spur of the moment decision. I was almost just another meal.”  
  
         His hand was tracing patterns across my back as he talked and I thought of how we would have looked to an outsider. We were two lovers curled together in bed, running our fingers along the lines of each other’s bodies, whispering in the dim light. No one would ever guess that he was speaking so casually about how his father had almost eaten him.  
  
         “So what happened after?”  
  
                “I was scared and confused, but I was also thirsty. Viktor dragged me out of the barn—literally dragged me, because I was too scared to follow him—and set me loose once I smelled a human. But I got distracted and came in here.”  
  
         “Into your house?”  
  
         “Yeah,” he sighed. “Some part of my brain knew the smells. But the scents were all human and I was a newborn, so I lost it. I ransacked the whole place until Viktor wrestled me out again and we ran off.”  
  
         “Is that what it’s like to be a new born? You just destroy stuff?”  
  
         “You can’t help it,” he replied, gently tugging my chin with his finger so that I looked at him. “Newborn vampires aren’t themselves, not entirely. Their logical brain is inside them, certainly. They can speak and think, but their instincts are brand new and they can’t control them yet. Add to that that they’re incredibly strong and yes, they’ll destroy things. They’ll kill things. They’ll hurt people and vampires they don’t mean to hurt. It’s par for the course.”  
  
         “Would I be like that?”  
  
         “Yes.”  
  
         “And that’s why I couldn’t be around Phoenix, right? I might hurt him?”  
  
         “You would kill him,” he said gently. “You would _hurt_ me and Viktor; you would kill Phoenix.”  
  
         “I’d hurt you?”  
  
         “You wouldn’t mean to, but you would at some point. You would fight one of us at least once. It might be different since I’m your mate, but you would probably squeeze me too tightly or pull me too hard. You could easily take a limb off of me or crush my ribs or my skull.”  
  
         I was horrified at what he was saying, but I knew my face looked sad. Viktor’s solution of changing me had seemed so plausible. I thought I would just stay with Nathan for a year and Phoenix would stay with Viktor; after that, we could all come back together. But I didn’t know I would spend that year hurting Nathan.  
  
         “What about after that first year?” I asked, my voice very quiet.  
  
         “It takes a year to settle down,” he replied. “It takes longer than that to build up a tolerance to human scent. We couldn’t go back to Phoenix, love. Not for a long time.”  
  
         “How long?”  
  
         “It would take four or five years before you could visit safely. At least ten if we wanted it to be a permanent arrangement, and that’s if you never slip up. Once you drain a human, it’s hard to ignore their scent. If you made even one mistake, you could visit for a few hours, but it would be well over twenty years before you would be safe to be with Phoenix permanently again.” He gave me a sad smile and brushed a strand of hair out of my face. “He could be over thirty years old before you could stay with him again.”  
  
         His fingers stroked my cheek and I leaned against his hand, a slow tear dripping down to my chin.  
  
         “I can’t be away from him for that long,” I whispered. “Nathan, I can’t.”  
  
         “I know, love.”  
  
         “What are we going to do?”  
  
         “We’re going to figure it out,” he murmured, guiding my head back down to his chest. I laid there in his arms and cried silently. I felt helpless to protect my own son. Nathan held me tight to his body with one hand and stroked my hair with the other. “Hush, love,” he whispered. “There’s nothing we can do tonight. Please sleep.”  
  
         “Talk to me,” I replied, wiping at my eyes with the quilt. “Just talk to me until I fall asleep.”  
  
         “What would you like me to talk about?”  
  
         “Yourself. Tell me what your human life was like. I want to know how you remembered it.”  
  
         “It took time,” he sighed. “I spent my first year as a fairly wild newborn, but I started asking questions when I was one or two years old. Viktor didn’t know the answers, so he brought me back here to my village. Viktor showed me the exact spot he’d found me in; he said I’d just been lying in the snow, drunk out of my mind, crying for me mother and begging for him to kill me. I didn’t remember that, so I just kept walking. I recognized places and I led us both straight to this house. It wasn’t in very good condition at all, but no one except me had touched it.”  
  
         I had stopped crying and I was listening intently.  
  
         “Viktor told me there was no one inside and asked if I would like to go in. I wanted to, but he wasn’t terribly interested, so he left me to it and wandered off. I had destroyed the toy shop and most of downstairs, but I hadn’t come upstairs. I found a child’s room with two beds. One was done for a girl and the other for a boy. Neither looked like they had been used in a very long time, but there was a book on the girl’s bedside table I remembered. I knew I’d read it before, but I didn’t know what it was. When I picked it up and read through it, I learned the first half of my life.”  
  
         “What was it?”  
  
         “The book had been my sister, Natalia’s, diary. She had drawn pictures of my mother and father and I learned their names, Anya and Björn. I look like both of them.”  
  
         “My father, the man who built this house, had been a toy maker, like I said. My sister had loved that because we’d never had any shortage of toys to play with. The rest of the town had been immensely fond of our family too; they loved our father and everyone knew Natalia and I. But he’d never been a terribly healthy man and he died when we were young.”  
  
         “You were nine or ten, right?”  
  
         “Right,” he agreed. “Natalia didn’t couldn’t remember which, so that’s what she wrote. But we kept ourselves alive by selling the rest of the toys my father had made. He hadn’t taught me how to make them, so I apprenticed with the butcher. Natalia wrote about how the other people in the village used to whisper about me. I was growing into a handsome man; everyone liked Natalia and I. But I used to walk across town covered in blood, coming home from work. I looked scary.”  
  
         “You were just a kid.”  
  
         “A kid covered in blood.”  
  
         I laughed and he hugged me, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.  
  
         “We lived like that for a while, scraping by on my wages and selling the toys. We did alright, but the butcher I worked for had eyes for Natalia. He proposed to her when we were sixteen. She accepted so that she could leave our house; she thought it would make things easier on my mother and I. That was the last thing she wrote about.”  
  
         “So that’s it?” I asked. “That’s all you know?”  
  
         “No, I just had to dig a little more. I found my mother’s room—this room—but she didn’t keep a diary. This room also smelled like me, though, so this had been my room at some point as well, I just couldn’t remember. I cleaned up downstairs and found the house books. My mother had kept a very detailed financial record and I found that we had been spending money on Natalia, even after she was married. We kept buying her daisies.”  
  
         “Is that significant?”  
  
         “Back then, you bought daisies when a child died. I think Natalia had miscarriages.”  
  
         “Oh.”  
  
         “We also spent twelve dollars on my wedding,” he laughed. “It was quite a bit of money back then. I married a woman named Ninha. My mother had included our wedding notice and marriage license in the book, but there was a note in the corner of the license in my handwriting. I had written in _switch the husband and the wife_. It was an old joke; it meant she had proposed to me.”  
  
         “And you were twenty then.”  
  
         “I was. Why do you know that? Do you just remember everything I’ve ever told you?”  
  
         I laughed and looked up at him. “I remember the interesting stuff.”  
  
         “So you’re going forget all of this?”  
  
         “No,” I smiled, stretching to press a kiss to his jaw. “This _is_ the interesting stuff. Keep going.”  
  
         “After I got married, Ninha took over the books. It made sense, since she was my wife. It switched back to my mother’s hand writing after two years when we spent two dollars on a divorce.”  
  
         “Why did you divorce? You said she wasn’t very good to you.”  
  
         “She wasn’t,” he agreed. “But I didn’t learn that until Viktor came back. He’d been asking around town about the old toy store. Apparently, my family had become a local legend. _Everyone_ at the tavern knew about the Wulff family.”  
  
         “Oh no.”  
  
         “There were lots of variations, but we sorted out what is most likely the truth, based on where everyone overlapped. Natalia died in childbirth when she and I were nineteen. I was devastated and my mother’s health took a turn for the worse. I took a wife who was older than me in hopes that she would help care for my mother, but she didn’t help much. We were a joke; everyone knew how she bossed me around. They thought it was funny that big, sweet Nataniel has such a nasty wife. But I divorced her for infidelity; ours was the first divorce in our village.”  
  
         “How did you know she cheated? How did the whole _town_ know she cheated?”  
  
         “She had a black haired baby,” he replied. “And she was every bit as blonde as I am. Everyone could tell it wasn’t mine, so I divorced her.”  
  
         “You have a black haired son now,” I said, laying back down against him. “Even your second wife had someone else’s baby.”  
  
         “I didn’t mind this time,” he laughed, bouncing me slightly with his chest. “In fact, this time around, I was very much in favor.”  
  
         “Okay, but you were twenty-two or twenty-three when you divorced your wife and you were twenty-five when you were changed. Fill in the gap.”  
  
         “I did everything I could to take care of my mother,” he replied. I felt him shrug underneath me. “I did any odd job people had for me; everyone knew me. I was big, sweet Nataniel and I listened to any story people told me. Then my mother died and I wasn’t. She died when I was twenty-four and I started drinking heavily. I used to publicly pray for my own death and people thought I had brought a curse on myself because, a year later, I had passed out in the snow like usual. People figured I’d go back home, but I vanished. Four days later, my former home was ransacked and they never saw me again. They steered clear of the toy maker’s house after that; it was cursed, after all.”  
  
         “And then you were a vampire.”  
  
         “And then I was a vampire.”  
  
         We laid together silently for a long time, both mulling his story over. His left hand trailed a lazy path up and down my back.  
  
         “Are you falling asleep?” He asked.  
  
         “I’m on my way,” I replied, punctuating it with a very appropriate yawn.  
  
         “Did you like your story?”  
  
         “Not really.” I snaked my arms out from inside the quilt to wrap them around him. “Actually, I didn’t like it at all, but I’m glad you told me. It’s sad that you don’t really remember your family though.” I went quiet again and he laced his fingers through mine.  
  
         “What are you thinking, love?”  
  
         “If I went through the change,” I whispered, “I might not remember Phoenix at all. Or any of my family.”  
  
         “You might not.”  
  
         “Would you tell me?”  
  
         “Yes.”  
  
         “Would you change me?”  
  
         “If that’s what you absolutely wanted, I would,” he replied.  
  
         “So if I ask, you’ll do it?”  
  
         “Is this you asking?”  
  
         “No,” I sighed, hugging him tighter. “I just want to know my options.”  
  
         “I’ll change you, love,” he whispered, lips pressed into my hair. “If that’s what it comes to, I will. I promise.”  
  
         I didn’t know I’d fallen asleep until I woke up. I was in the same bed, still wrapped in the old quilt, but my head was on the pillows and I was alone. A quick glance out the window told me it was still night time, so I wasn’t at all sure how long I’d been out. I slipped out of the quilt, the cold night air hitting my skin and instantly raising goosebumps, and crept out of the bedroom. I peered into the other room to see Phoenix still fast asleep. How was I supposed to explain to him where we were when he woke up? How could I ever explain to him what was going on?  
  
         I hugged my arms around myself and leaned against the door frame, watching his blankets rise and lower with his breaths. A beam of moonlight was streaming in through the window and it cut right across his face, giving his black hair a streak of silver and turning his eyelashes white. Where that light shone, his skin had no freckles or flaws or color; he was ash white and smooth as porcelain, like Nathan.  
  
         I wiped a tear off my face. I hadn’t even noticed I’d started crying and I was irritated with myself.  
  
         “Viktor,” I whispered. He was beside me instantly.  
  
         “Aeva,” he murmured. “Vhat do you need?”  
  
         “Where’s Nathan?”  
  
         “Nataniel is hunting; he asked me to stay to guard you.” He had his head turned slightly, an uncharacteristically gentle expression on his face. “Do you…vant him? I can find him for you.”  
  
         “No,” I said, shaking my head. “Can he hear us?”  
  
         Viktor’s eyebrows crept up. “No,” he said. “No, he cannot.”  
  
         I nodded and peered back into Phoenix’s room, my eyes fixated on his strip of flawless white skin. “Viktor,” I said, my resolve growing stronger. “Can you change children? Nathan said you can’t, but how bad is it, really?”  
  
         “Aeva…my darling,” he whispered, delicately grasping my shoulder. Viktor almost never touched me, so that alarmed me a great deal. I looked up into his eyes which were gently glowing red in the dark until he clenched them shut. “It cannot be done. It vould not protect Phoenix and it vould not save him. It vould turn him into a monster…To keep him forever is to ruin him.”  
  
         “I understand.”  
  
         “It vould not ruin you, though,” he added, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “You could stay vith us; vith Nataniel and I. Ve vould help you.”  
  
         “Nathan said if I was turned, it could be almost five years before it would be safe enough for me to visit Phoenix.” Viktor’s hand slid off my shoulder. “He said it would be ten years before I could live with him, but if I slipped up and killed another human, it could take as long as twenty.”  
  
         “He…is possibly too kind in his estimations.”  
  
         I turned to stare at my father-in-law, who reached forward and pulled the door to Phoenix’s room shut. I understood what the gesture meant: if I were changed, I might never see Phee again. I would never see any of my family again. How could I when they could see _me_? They would see what I turned into. I bowed my head and hugged myself tighter. Viktor put his arm around me and pulled me gently to his side.  
  
         “I am sorry, my darling,” he whispered. “I vish it vere different.”  
  
         “Can I ask you to make a deal with me?”  
  
         Viktor tensed beside me. “A deal?” He asked.  
  
         “I can’t leave Phoenix,” I said, knowing truer words had never come out of my mouth. “I can’t leave him forever; I can’t risk it.”  
  
         “Alright.”  
  
         “If things really come crashing down, I need you to make me a promise,” I said, ducking out from under his arm to face him straight on, my eyes locked on his. “If Phoenix dies, it’ll be because I died trying to protect him. That’s it.”  
  
         “Understood, but vhere do I come into this?”  
  
         “If…if something happens,” I continued, voice shaking just slightly. “I want Phoenix with me, but you have to keep Nathan safe. If I die, if Phoenix dies…” I clenched my eyes shut, willing my eyes to stop watering. “…You keep Nathan alive.”  
  
         “He vill die trying to save _you_.”  
  
         “Not if you get him out of the fight. If that’s what it comes down to, you take him and you run.”  
  
         “You vould sacrifice your child for your mate?”  
  
         I opened my eyes and glared at him through my tears, snarling, “If something is strong enough to kill Nathan, Phoenix and I won’t make it out alive anyway.”  
  
         Viktor stared at me for a long time, his eyes giving me a once over while his jaw muscles clenched and unclenched. He was thinking very hard and I knew he was taking this deal very seriously. Slowly, he extended his hand toward me.  
  
         “I vill do as you have asked.”  
  
         I needed a deep breath to steel my nerves first, but I shook his hand. It felt a bit like I’d just sold my soul. I suppose I’d already done that though, years ago. Nathan had asked me, standing uncomfortably in the living room of my factory apartment, if I wanted him to go.  
  
         I had told him to stay.  
  
         My exhale was shaky and Viktor folded our handshake into a tight hug. “I pray I never need to act on this,” he whispered. Then he was gone.  
  
         I dried my eyes and pushed the door to Phee’s room open again, walking inside and sneaking under the covers with him. He didn’t wake up, but he rolled over to face me, his small hands grabbing fistfuls of my shirt. Out of the moonlight, his face was spotted and brown. I kissed his eyelids and held him tight, both of our chests rising and falling in time.__


	6. Prepared (pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan gets ready.

###  _Nathan_

         If I didn’t move soon, I would be covered in snow. As it was, my back and most of my left side were buried. I was meant to be hunting but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I hadn’t hit the end of my two-week cycle, but we were running now. I didn’t know where we would be hiding or when I would be around game again.

         My fight with Edward ran through my head again. This was my fault; if I’d stayed away from Aeva and Phoenix they wouldn’t be hiding in a remote village in Germany. Germany hadn’t even existed when I last lived here; I had lived in a country called Württemberg, but you couldn’t just say that. People didn’t know where that was, so we said I was German. I could smell sheep; there was a barn nearby. This area was used to their livestock disappearing if there was someone at the toy maker’s house. Everywhere else said the people here had old-world views and were too superstitious, but they knew about Viktor and I.

         Aeva knew about Viktor and I.

         How many times had I promised her that I would keep her and our son safe? I had failed. That wasn’t true; I hadn’t failed _yet_ , but I was on my way. How long did I expect to keep them hidden? How long could we run until we were caught? Would anyone help us?

         As far as I was concerned, there was one family that _owed_ us help: the Cullens. Edward had been right, I had put Aeva and Phoenix in danger by staying with them, but not like he had done. He hadn’t even cared that Aro would see us in his head; he’d thought he was going to be killed and he didn’t mind taking us with him. We were lucky we had Viktor or we wouldn’t have known until Demetri tracked us down. He could be looking for us now; we would need to oscillate between locations that were difficult to travel to and from. Viktor was our only advantage at the moment. I felt utterly useless.

         I couldn’t face Aeva. She wasn’t even angry with me as far as I could tell. She was managing as well as she always did, stepping up to play her role in all of this. But I couldn’t look at her just then. I couldn’t look at her or our son, but I had to. I couldn’t start avoiding them now; it was too late for that. And, as much as I hated to admit it, their heads were on the block. These could be my final days with them. I needed to get back to them, but I needed to hunt first. I walked into a barn, picked off three sheep, and ran back home. The farmers had stayed inside even as their animals screamed; they knew what was lurking in the dark.

         I walked back to the house, choosing to go through the toy shop in the front. It was just a one room shop, walls covered in shelves and the windows empty of displays. There was a counter where the store books and the safe had been. The shop had been empty since I had cleaned it out. I didn’t want to leave it looking the way it had after I’d ransacked it.

         I had told Aeva what I’d been like as a newborn. I knew it had surprised her at least a little; I had had so many years to settle and refine myself. That first year, though, I’d been an absolute animal. I’d hunted humans then. I hadn’t stopped hunting humans until I’d been a vampire for three or four years. I had only stopped because my gift made it so unpleasant. My time with the old people and Aeva had cemented my decision to only feed on animals. Aeva didn’t understand what a vampire’s bloodlust felt like. If she turned into what I was, she would know how hard it is to control it.

         Aeva would have to be turned.

         That was our reality. We’d spent so long without having to think about it, but now the risk was much more real. It didn’t even feel like there was a chance she might not need to be turned; it felt like a question of time. It was no longer _if_ , it was _when_. It was a countdown until my wife was a vampire; it was either that or she died. I leaned my elbows on the shop counter, dropped my face into my hands, and started to cry.

         I didn’t want to do that to her. I hated that I knew I would adore her as a vampire. She would be wild and savage and bloodthirsty and I would love her. Viktor and I both would. But she might not like herself and I wouldn’t be able to agree with her.

         I would adore her as a vampire, but I wanted to keep Aeva as she was. She was so delicate and beautifully human. I would turn her if that’s what I had to do though, and I knew that meant taking Phoenix from her. I would still be able to see him, but not Aeva. I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to bargain for his life, but I thought I might. If we were repentant and forthcoming and begged and groveled, Aro might allow it. It might take Viktor and I rejoining the guard, volunteering Aeva as well. We would have to sell our lives to Aro to buy Phoenix’s from him.

         We had to act soon if that were the case; the longer we waited, the worse it looked. We couldn’t bargain if we were hunted down; we’d have to come forward voluntarily. If Aro was still the way I remembered him, we might have three days before he dispatched Demitri. Once Demitri was sent to find us, we were fugitives and our grace period would be over. I knew Viktor knew that as well. If we waited any more than three days, we might not even be able to bargain for me to keep Aeva. I might be about to lose them both.

         I felt a hand on my upper arm and Viktor hauled me upright, guiding my head to his shoulder. He didn’t tell me to stop crying; he held onto me and waited. It was a long while before I could speak and I didn’t lift my head. I left it resting on him, forehead against his neck; he had one hand on my hair, the other still gripping my arm to hold me to him. He didn’t release either hold, even as he spoke.

         “Ve must plan,” he said. “I know you are hurting, but ve cannot ignore it.”

         “We have three days.”

         “I also had that thought. Ve should not vait until the third day.”

         I knew he was right, but I couldn’t say it. I just nodded against his neck and he patted my head.

         “I am sorry, Nataniel. I am sorry this has happened.”

         I nodded again and put my arms around him. He embraced me in earnest then and let me cry again. Before Aeva, he never would have held me as I wept in fear. Before Aeva, there would never have been something I might fear losing like this. My eyes ached and stung, but I couldn’t calm down. My wife and my son were in jeopardy and Viktor and I had to plan and scheme about how to keep them alive. The next time I spoke, I would be one half of a conversation that would result in either their survival or their execution. I put off saying anything for as long as I could and Viktor let me. He just waited and I knew he understood my reluctance.

         When I couldn’t put it off any longer, I took a deep breath and gave Viktor one final squeeze. He kissed my head—the first time he’d ever kissed me—and let me go, taking a step back so that we were eye to eye again. He patted the side of my face, setting his mouth in a hard line.

         “Breathe, Nataniel. Ve must do this.”

         “I know. What are you thinking?”

         “Ve have to go to Aro and make a plea. Ve lied, but she is your mate. He vill understand that.”

         “He knows your loyalty to me. He’ll also understand that I convinced you. I would let him touch me to prove that.”

         “You vill have to,” Viktor nodded. “He vill demand it. He may demand the same of Aeva.”

         I nodded too, rubbing my temple. Aro’s gift was a powerful one. With a touch, he could see every thought you’d ever had. The last time he’d used it on me was roughly two hundred years ago; it had been a regular occurrence before then. The more he wanted to see, the longer he dug. He would dig for a long time in my head and remembering the sensation of Aro’s consciousness slithering through mine made me feel sick. He would search Aeva’s mind high and low and, for as violating and unpleasant as it was, Viktor was right and she would have to let him.

         “Our plea will be to change Aeva and to give Phoenix up. Phee is innocent; he doesn’t know what we are.”

         “Aro vill touch him as vell to investigate that claim.”

         I grimaced, knowing he was right again. “We might be able to circumvent that. If Aro touches Phee, it will make him ask questions about what happened and that could lead him to dangerous places. I could ask him what he knows about me instead; he wouldn’t be able to lie. Aro would see that in my head.”

         “Perhaps. You could make that case. Ve vill not be able to make a case for Aeva; it vill be down to Aro’s mercy.”

         “I know.” I set my hands on my hips and sighed heavily. “Is that it, then? Is this our plan? Go to the Volturi—take the whole family—and ask Aro not to touch Phee and not to kill Aeva. We may need to throw ourselves in the pot. He’ll expect something in exchange.”

         Viktor stared at me for a moment before he closed his eyes, giving a small nod. “Ve vill join the guard again.”

         “If he lets us turn Aeva, she’ll have to join too. Aro may not want her though; we don’t know that she’ll be gifted.”

         “I think she vill be. I just don’t know vith vhat.”

         “Tell Aro. If we can convince him that Aeva will have something that he wants, he may be even more motivated to change her. If he can keep all three of us, he might let us save Phoenix.”

         “I think this is the best plan ve have.”

         “When should we go?”

         Viktor looked down, scrubbing his hand over his stubble. He looked as exhausted as I felt; something as unavoidable as what we were planning weighed heavily in the pit of your stomach. It sucked the life out of you. He took in a big breath and said, on his exhale, “Tomorrow. Ve go tomorrow evening.”

         “What if Aro doesn’t follow his normal procedure? What if he sent Demitri as soon as you left?”

         “He might have done so; I have possibly made this vorse by leaving the vay I did.”

         “We’ll have to confuse him then. We should separate,” I said, staring down at my shoes. “We shouldn’t say in a group.”

         “That is the gist of the thing, yes. How vill ve separate them?”

         “I don’t know. I just don’t know.” This new challenge was sending a stabbing pain straight through my heart. I had to split them up. We had a plan, but we were not safe. Our plan only held if Aro had any intention of letting us plead our case. He could have just as easily decided on our execution already. We wouldn’t know either way, but if it were the latter, I would only be able to defend one of my humans. Viktor would be alone defending the other. Demetri could only find one of us at a time.

         I was a better fighter than Viktor, but he could flee. If it came to a fight, the person he had with him would be safer than the one with me. My instinct told me to send Phoenix. But if Aeva and I were together, Demitri would surely choose us first. That told me to send my son with Viktor again. However, if Aro’s plan was execution, he would go for Aeva before me. She was the greatest liability, because she was the breech of our laws of secrecy. Viktor could defend her longer than I could. Demetri felt affection for me; he might pause to listen. If Aeva and I were together, he would kill us. If she and I were separate, he might pause and be convinced to capture us instead. It was a safeguard if Aro wasn’t already planning to hear us out.

         Viktor stared at me in silence, watching me as I thought. I appreciated that he offered no input; he understood that Aeva and Phoenix were my family before his. He would follow my instructions. I wanted to wake Aeva; hers was the only input I might listen to. She was asleep upstairs, though. I could hear her in Phoenix’s room, both of them asleep on my childhood bed. I would let her sleep and explain our plan in the morning. If she thought differently, we could argue then.

         “You’ll take Aeva,” I said, finally looking back my father. “Phoenix will stay with me.”

         “Are you sure?”

         “No, but that’s what we’re doing.”

         He nodded and we stood in silence for a moment, staring at each other. We’d never faced something like this before; I was grateful he was there at all.

         “Thank you,” I said, realizing it might be my last chance to say it. “Thank you, Viktor.”

         “Of course,” he replied, giving me a terse nod. “You are my son. Of course.”

         I reached out to him then, putting my hand on the back of his head and pulling him forward. I kissed his forehead before setting my own against it. He put his hand on my head, matching my gesture.

         “You are my son, Nataniel,” he whispered. “I vill protect you and our family if I can.”

         He’d said _our_ and the word thudded leaden against my heart. He would fight for Aeva and Phee; for his daughter and his grandson. He pulled me in for another hug, pressing a kiss against my temple. Fear made us affectionate, it seemed.

         When we released one another, we began our wait for morning. He and I took turns, one of us always standing sentinel in the room where my wife and son slept and the other running a perimeter. We never wandered out of range of the other’s hearing, ready to be called back at any moment. It was a long wait until sunrise and I felt every minute as it passed, slow and painful as torture. I was in the room when Aeva stirred, the sun against her eyelids waking her.

         “Viktor,” I called. I heard him downstairs, appearing instantly from wherever he’d been standing guard to wait for us. Aeva’s eyes had opened fully at the sound of my voice and she was looking over at me.

         “Did you hunt last night?” She asked.

         I nodded and she turned her attention to Phoenix. “I came in here when I realized you were gone.”

         “We need to speak with Viktor,” I sighed. “It might be best to do it before Phee wakes up.”

         She nodded and slid out from under the blankets; she moved like an expert around our son, knowing exactly how to keep from waking him. She walked over to me, her bare feet almost silent and we stepped out into the hall together. We got as far as the top of the stairs before I snatched her up, crushing her mouth to mine. She locked her arms around my neck, kissing back as hard as she could. When I pulled away, she was a little breathless.

         “Are you scared, too?” She asked. I nodded and she kissed me again, standing on her toes to reach me. “I love you.”

         “I love you, too.”

         I couldn’t think of anything else to say to her. I couldn’t really offer her comfort; I didn’t want to make her promises that I couldn’t keep, like “It will be okay.” I took her hand and led her down to Viktor, who was seated at the tiny wooden table. I pulled a chair out for Aeva and she reached over, yanking another one very close to hers for me to sit in. I took my seat beside her and she grabbed my hand again, squeezing until her knuckles turned white.

         “What’s the plan?” She asked. Viktor and I stared at each other for a moment, both unsure who ought to speak first.

         “We’re going to go to the Volturi,” I said. “We’re going to make a case for ourselves. Aro gives leniency to people who come forward without being hunted.”

         “And what _is_ our case?” She said, looking from my father’s face to mine and back. “What are we asking for?”

         “We’ll wait to see what mercy Aro might already plan to show us,” I replied, refusing to break eye contact with her. “But, if we have to beg, we’ll ask for you to be changed and for Phoenix to go to your family.”

         “In order to convince him,” Viktor continued, “ve vill have to make some sacrifices.”

         “Sacrifices?” Her voice was questioning, but not scared. I kissed her hand before I spoke again.

         “Viktor and I will offer to return to the guard. We’ll have to offer you as well.”

         “And then we’ll have to swear not to ever see Phee again, won’t we?” It was an unacknowledged truth that Viktor and I had not bothered to say out loud; I was glad Aeva thought fast enough to come to the conclusion on her own. Viktor nodded in affirmation at her and she stared down at our hands in her lap, eyes hard.

         “Do you have any thoughts?” Viktor asked, cocking his head. She shook hers and I kissed her temple.

         “There’s more,” I sighed, pulling away. She looked up at me, face stoic and composed. “We will go to them tonight, but it’s not safe for us to stay together as a group like this. We don’t know if Aro has already sent his tracker.”

         “We’re separating.” She hadn’t asked a question; it was a statement of fact.

         “I’m going to take Phee,” I said, unable to look into her eyes any longer. “You’ll stay with Viktor.”

         There was a slight pause before she answered me, but she squeezed my hands and whispered, “Okay.”

         “Ve vill need to separate soon,” Viktor said. “If Nataniel takes Phoenix back to your home before he vakes up, he vill never know he vas here.”

         She nodded and looked up, quickly wiping at her eyes. “You’re right. Yes. They should go before he wakes up.”

         “Will we be safe at the house?” I asked.

         “Get Phoenix in the car and drive,” Viktor replied, getting to his feet. “Take him somevhere populated.” It was an old trick to deter the Volturi. They wouldn’t often go into crowded cities as they struggled a bit with blood lust. I, on the other hand, would do fine. We had used this tactic before. It was a good plan.

         “I vill take him now and return for Nataniel a moment.” He looked meaningfully between Aeva and I before he nodded and vanished. I heard him above us for half a moment before he was gone again. Aeva and I got to our feet as well.

         “Come here,” I said, wrapping my arms around her and pressing her to me. She gripped me as tight as she could, fingers digging into my back. “Hush, love. I know.”

         “I hate this,” she whispered. “I hate it. Please stay safe.”

         “I will,” I said, not sure if it was a lie or not.

         “Keep Phoenix safe.”

         “I will.” That time, it felt more like the truth. “Listen to Viktor; he’s good at this.”

         “Okay,” she said, nodding. “Okay, I will.” She hadn’t sobbed and her breathing was even, but I could feel her tears soaking through my shirt. Aeva had a tendency to react to things like this by hyperventilating; this time, she seemed too in shock to panic. I let go of her only to take her face in my hands, leaning down to press a kiss to her mouth. She balled her hands into fists, taking hold of my shirt and using it to pull me closer to her. Our kiss was sweet and slow with a sadness to it that made my chest ache. We were saying goodbye.

         She pulled away when she needed a breath and I stared at her, her eyes shining and a deep crease between her eyebrows. I smoothed the line with my thumb and she shut her eyes, leaning into the touch. I didn’t know when Viktor would come to take me away from her, but my head was screaming that we should rethink our arrangement. I couldn’t be separated from her. I couldn’t just say goodbye to the woman in front of me—to my beautiful Aeva—and know that I might not ever see her again. I bowed my head to kiss her hair and cheeks and neck; I breathed as deeply as I was able, trying to trap her scent in my lungs. She slid her fingers through my hair and kissed my face anytime it was near enough for her to do so. Neither of us could form words; all we had time for were these small touches. It might be the last time I would ever feel her skin under my hands.

         Viktor returned and I heard him in the shop in the front; he wouldn’t interrupt us unless we dallied. I wrapped my arms protectively around Aeva’s shoulders and she locked hers around my waist. “It’s time,” I whispered. “I have to go.”

         “Okay,” she said. “You’re going to take Phoenix and you’re going to run, right?”

         “Yes.”

         “Come back, alright?” She turned her head to stare up at me. “You always come back. Do it again this time.”

         “I’ll try.” My eyes were stinging, but I didn’t want to cry in front of her. She was holding herself together and I could see how much effort it was taking. I didn’t want to make it harder for her. “I love you, Aeva. I love you so much.”

         “I love you too, Nathan.”

         “I’m so sorry I met you. I’m sorry I did this to you.”

         She put her hands on either side of my face and pulled me closer to her, mouth tight. “I’m not sorry,” she said. “Don’t you ever say that again. I _love_ you, Nathan. Phoenix loves you. You were meant to be ours; we’re supposed to be yours. I love you so much.” One sob escaped her body and I kissed her hard. She kissed right back and I heard Viktor knock once on the door. We separated again and her hands moved, locking into the hair as the base of my neck.

         “I’m glad I met you,” she said. “I always will be.”

         “Me too. Forever.”

         “Go guard our son.”

         “Okay.”

         She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed me one last time, soft and warm, before she stepped back and finally broke our embrace. I was glad she had done it; I wouldn’t have been able to let her go on my own. Viktor came in then, keeping his head down. He came close to me and extended his hand. I reached toward Aeva instead. She grabbed my fingers and kissed my knuckles first and then my wedding ring.

         “Go,” she said. “I’ll be alright.”

         I nodded and when she let me go, Viktor took my elbow. Again, I was glad someone else had taken the initiative to move me. I would not have left Aeva voluntarily. Viktor took me to the landing outside Phee’s room.

         “He von’t know he ever left,” he murmured, staring at my son’s door. “Keep it that vay. Every qvestion he asks is a mark against him in Aro’s ledger.”

         “I understand.”

         “Focus on Phoenix,” Viktor said, patting the side of my face. “I vill take care of your mate; I vill take care of Aeva.” I nodded and he vanished. I went downstairs and sat in Aeva’s studio while I waited for Phee to wake up. I wanted to be somewhere that smelled most like her. I felt pathetic, knowing what I was doing. I had been separated from her for longer than a few moments before, but the thought of not being able to rejoin her was wrenching my heart in a tragic direction. Would this be what it was like if she had died of old age? Would I have felt _this_ torn? I sat and breathed in her scent, looking at the things she had made, until Phoenix moved around upstairs. I waited until he called for me.

         “Mommy! Daddy!”

         I had spent more than a few nights wondering how much I loved my son. Vampires had no real sense of a parent-child bond as far as I knew, but perhaps it was just an understudied phenomenon. Carlisle felt like a father to his coven; Viktor certainly felt like a father to me. But vampires didn’t have _children_. There were no little vampires scurrying around; those ones had turned out to be demons that had to be burned to death. But vampires had mates and it was widely known that a vampire was deeply, eternally bonded to them. I knew I felt that for Aeva and I knew that I loved Phoenix, but were my feelings unequal?

         There was a tightness in my chest as I turned the knob to Phee’s room. I pushed the door open and he was laying, legs splayed and fists rubbing at his eyes, with his blankets all thrown onto the floor.

         “You here, daddy?” He asked, punctuating it with a yawn.

         “Yes,” I replied, watching him stretch. His hair looked ridiculous.

         “I tricked you. I knew you were here. I could smell you.” He wasn’t lying and I smiled. He set his hands on his belly and turned his head in my direction, a toothy little grin on his face. The tension in my chest suddenly released and I had to slip a hand over my mouth to keep in my sob. My son was fine. He was happy and well rested and smiling at me from his bed; he was _fine_. I hadn’t realized just how badly I’d needed to see him awake and hear him speaking. I felt foolish for doubting how much I loved him.

         “What are we doing today?” He asked. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get control of myself. I was thankful yet again that he couldn’t see me.

         “You’re stuck running errands with me,” I said, carefully metering my voice to sound normal. “It’s just us today.”

         “Mommy’s gone?”

         “Mhmm,” I said, reopening my eyes. He was sitting up, cross-legged and looking slightly to my left. “She’s with Papa Viktor for the day.”

         “Did she sleep in my bed last night?”

         “Yeah, she came in for a while,” I replied, going to him. I made sure to scuff my feet on the carpet so he’d know I was approaching. “She knew she’d be gone before you woke up.”

         “Tell her not to do that if you don’t come too,” he said, tugging his sleep shirt away from his little chest. I realized it was damp. “I was sweating to death. Me and her can’t split a bed. We need you around!” He giggled and my eyes stung. I needed to get a hold of myself; he was just talking. I couldn’t spend the whole day crying about the things my son said.

         “Would you like to take a bath, since you sweat so much?” I asked, setting my hand on his to let him know how close I’d gotten. He took my fingers, holding loosely. He was totally at ease.

         “Can I take a shower?”

         “Certainly. Your shower or ours?”

         “Yours! It echoes in there.”

         “Ours it is,” I laughed, scooping him up. We generally liked to give him baths so he was easier to reach. Showers were a hassle for us, but a treat for him. I carried him through Aeva and I’s room and I had to avert my eyes from the mangled covers on the bed. I sat Phoenix down on the edge of our giant tub while I started the water in the shower stall. He pulled off his pajamas on his own, though his ankles got stuck in his pants. When he was fully nude, he sprang up and poked his hand out in front of himself, ready for me to lead him in.

         “This way, little guy,” I said, guiding him through the shower door. I took his wrist and pulled his hand under the stream of water. “Is that the right temperature?”

         “Yeah, that’s good.”

         “Okay, go ahead.” He stepped under the water and it instantly flattened his bed head. He liked how the water felt on his skin when he showered but, after a few minutes, he would get a small wave of vertigo and lose his sense of where he was. It was a normal thing that happened to children if they shut their eyes and tilted their heads back. Other children would be able to simply open their eyes to make the vertigo go away; obviously, that didn’t help Phoenix. When it happened, I just had to reach out my hand and set it on his back, steadying him. He would grab my forearm each time not for balance, but because he knew that my arm came from the shower door. It helped him orient himself.

         “I’m ready for shampoo!” He announced, having had enough time to play in the water. “Can I use yours?”

         “Yes,” I laughed, reaching over his head to take my bottle down. He liked to smell like Aeva and I whenever possible. “Close your eyes really tight,” I told him. “This stuff hurts if it drips in there.”

         “Okay.” He clenched his eyes so tight that his whole face scrunched up and I laughed while I rubbed the soap into his hair. I helped him rinse and then took Aeva’s body wash down, rubbing it into a pouf until it was full of suds.

         “Here you go,” I said, putting it in his hands. “Make sure to get your arm pits.”

         “Yes sir!”

         He scrubbed himself clean and I stayed crouched on the bathmat, occasionally reaching forward to stop him from tipping over. When he was finished, I shut off the water and scooped him up, bundling him in a huge towel. I ruffled his hair and he let out a scream of a laugh as I tossed him onto my bed.

         “Dry your hair,” I told him. “I’m going to go get your clothes.”

         “Okay!” He lifted up the towel and I darted to his room, picking out jeans and a sweater for him. I held fresh socks and underwear in my other hand and walked back to find him struggling with the towel.

         “I’m trapped!” He shouted, buried in the thing.

         I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m coming, hold on.” Once he was freed from the towel, we dressed him and I combed his hair. Aeva had started to cut the sides shorter, but left the top shaggy. As it air dried, it started to wave just like hers did.

         “Go into your room and find your cane,” I told him. “And put some things into a bag for yourself; just things to keep you busy. I’ll make you breakfast while you pack.”

         “How many errands do we have to run?” He asked.

         “Lots. We’ll be gone all day.”

         “Ugh, okay.”

         I helped him down to the floor and he walked himself to his room; he’d memorized this route and only needed to put his hands out to see if the doors were open or closed. I didn’t want to rush him, but I was listening very hard to our surroundings. I couldn’t hear anyone approaching, so I sprinted down to the kitchen and toasted a bagel. I threw a few other things, like fruit and juice boxes, into a lunch box. I was packing for him just like we did when we took him to see Maria and his cousins. I was going to take him to Pittsburgh, though. We needed a large, crowded city and Pittsburgh would do.

         I changed my clothes, put on a coat, and had the car warming up in the garage before Phoenix started coming down the stairs. I stood at the bottom and watched him closely, always ready to catch him if he stumbled. He had his tiny back pack on, one hand on the bannister and the other sweeping his cane in front of himself, lip out in concentration as always.

         “Did you make me a bagel?” He asked, making his way to the dining table. “It smells like a blue berry one.”

         “You’re right. What do you want on it?”

         “Cream cheese!”

         I spread it on and set it in his hand. He took a bite and raised his arms, letting me know he was ready to be lifted. I had taken for granted how well he and I knew each other; Aeva too. I carried him to the car and settled him in his car seat, thinking about just how many of his little signals I knew. A hand out in front of him, palm down meant “Where are you?” Palm up meant, “Lead me.” Elbows up meant, “You can lift me.” When he was struggling with sensory over load or anything else that made him uncomfortable, he would clench his hands into fists and tuck them under his chin. That meant he didn’t want to be touched; Aeva and I were exceptions to that rule as long as we didn’t pull on his hands. I had watched him grow up from a baby to the little boy in the booster seat behind me, learning everything along with him. I said a silent prayer that I would get to see him grow into a man.

         He fell asleep as I drove, so I sped up. He wouldn’t know how long he’d been in the car, so I tried to cover the most distance possible. I also tried as hard as I could not to ever be the only car on a stretch of road. Demitri was not above attacking someone while they drove, but to remain inconspicuous, he wouldn’t do it if there were human drivers around. When I was the lone vehicle, I topped out around 120mph. My fingers were leaving grooves in the steering wheel because of how hard I gripped it; I wasn’t paying as much attention to the pressure I applied. I was too focused on listening for any signs of the Volturi tracker.

         Phoenix woke up as I pulled into a parking garage in the city. I wanted to leave the car behind. It smelled incredibly strong, saturated with all three scents of my little family. Demetri would be drawn to it should he get close, so I made sure to leave the windows cracked; if he investigated an empty car it would slow him down.

         “What’s your first errand?” Phee asked, standing beside me while I fished his back pack out of the seat.

         “I did them all while you were sleeping,” I lied. “Now you and I have to keep ourselves busy. Come on, I have some ideas for us.” I helped him put his bag on and he took my hand, unfolding his cane and extending it in front of himself. He was good about using it now.

         “What’s your first idea?” He asked. “It better not be outside; it’s cold.”

         “It looks like it’s going to rain too,” I replied, glancing up at the sky.

         “What does it look like?”

         “The sky is all gray and it’s not very bright out,” I said, giving my best description. “There are so many clouds above us that it looks like there is a lid on the sky. The clouds look thick.”

         “If you touched them, what would they feel like?”

         “A cold, wet towel.”

         “Ugh, let’s go inside,” he huffed, shaking his head. “That sounds bad.”

         I laughed and led him down the street; I decided I would take him to the children’s museum. Regular museums didn’t do anything for him, since he couldn’t see the displays. Children’s museums had things to touch, though, and so I thought he might like it. We walked for a few blocks and I noticed every single person that stared at us; it was interesting to hear so many different stories and know that they all responded the same way to seeing us, regardless of their upbringings. We were a double spectacle to the humans around us: a vampire and a blind boy swinging a cane. I was glad that the staring wasn’t something Phoenix would ever notice.

         I actually stopped walking when I realized the potential brevity of my last thought. There was a very real risk that “Phoenix might not ever notice something” could only mean “Phoenix won’t know about it for the rest of the day.” I gripped his hand a little tighter.

         “You okay, daddy?” He asked, noting the pressure.

         “I’m alright, yeah. Can I carry you though?”

         “Am I going too slow?”

         “No, you’re doing fine. I just want to carry you, if that’s alright.”

         “Sure, I guess. Hang on.” He stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk and I had to tug him closer to a shop window so he wouldn’t get trampled. He folded up his cane and stuck it in his back pack before turning back to face my general direction and raising his elbows. I wanted to snatch him up and hug him as tightly as I could without hurting him, but I didn’t want to make him panic. Instead, I gently lifted him and set him on my hip. He put both his hands on me, one on my chest and one on my arm, and rested his head on my shoulder. I kissed his hair and started walking again, counting his heartbeats as we went. Vampires may not have a concept of a parent-child relationship but I surely did.

         “I love you,” I murmured, hugging him gently.

         “I love you too.” He reached a hand up to check the expression on my face and he lifted his head when he touched my mouth. I hadn’t faked a smile or anything; I let him find the tightness around my eyes and the furrow between my eyebrows.

         “Dad, what’s wrong? Are you sad?”

         “Kind of,” I replied, not wanting to lie to him more than I had to, but also not wanting him to worry. If I faked happy for him all day, he would know. He was too smart for that. “Mostly I’m just worried.”

         “Me too.”

         “What are you worried about?”

         “Mommy when to Papa Viktor’s house. She never does that.”

         “You’re right,” I agreed. Like I said, he was too smart. “Mommy’s worried too. We’re working through something right now.”

         “Are you fighting with her? Sometimes tío Manuel and tía Holly fight.”

         “No, we’re not fighting,” I laughed, kissing his temple. “Do you know how much I love your mom?”

         “A billion.”

         “A billion and a half, at least. And do you know how much we love you?”

         “I think a lot.”

         I laughed again and he smiled. “Yes, a _lot_. And Papa Viktor too. And our whole entire family. We all love you a lot.”

         “I think you and mommy like me best, though.”

         “That’s probably true. It’s very hard to like you or love you more than we do, though.”

         He still had his hand on my face, resting on my cheek. He did this, sometimes, because it afforded him the most information. He could tell if skin around your mouth or eyes moved and what direction you were looking. If you weren’t looking at him and he wanted you too, he could just pull. It was ingenious really, but it gave me away as I spoke; he felt my expression change and he gave me a more thorough once over, tracing the frown lines around my mouth.

         “You just got real sad again,” he murmured. “You got sad when you said that. How come?”

         I sighed and took a moment to think. What should I say to him? We—his mother, his grandfather, and I—had just decided on a plea where the best-case scenario is we never see him again. How does one explain that to their child? “

         “We love you the most out of anyone you know,” I replied. “But we might need to ask someone else to try to love you like we do. In case we can’t anymore.”

         “What does that mean?”

         “Mommy and Papa Viktor and I…we might…we’re going to have to…go.”

         “You have to go? I’m not coming with?”

         “Not this time, no.”

         “Will you come back?”

         “I don’t think we’ll be allowed.”

         “So where will I go?”

         “To your abuela’s house. You’ll stay there with Abuela, and your tías, and your cousins.”

         His hand fell off my face and he seemed stunned. I stopped walking and sat down on a bench, arranging him on my lap so he faced me. It took him a while to process what I’d said.

         “But…why? Why do you have to leave me alone?” His blue eyes weren’t looking at me; he was looking up. I could see his tears forming, they just hadn’t spilled over yet.

         “Do you remember a long time ago? I woke you up because I yelled at someone?”

         “Yeah.”

         “It’s because of him. He did something and now…we have to go. I’m sorry, Phoenix.” I finally broke on the word “sorry” and he looked panicked when he heard me cry.

         “Daddy, don’t,” he said, putting his hands on my cheeks. He was feeling for tears, but he wouldn’t find any.

         “We don’t want to go, Phee. We love you so much. I’m so sorry.” I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. I should have told him I was moving; it surprised him. He didn’t jump, though. He just latched his arms around my neck and hugged me as tightly as he could.

         “I love you too,” he whispered. “I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to leave me.”

         He and I were both crying now and more and more people were noticing us. We needed to be somewhere with fewer eyes on us. Neither of us were in a mood for a children’s museum, so I stood and carried him across the street, into a library.

         The librarian inside, and older woman with salt and pepper hair and pink frames on her glasses, looked up to greet us. This was Sibil May Adler, 56 years old, mother of two twin boys, grandmother to five girls, and motorcycle enthusiast. She scurried around the counter she was at and came straight to me.

         “What’s the matter?” she asked. “Do you need any help?”

         “We just need a place to be for today,” I replied, hugging Phee a little tighter. “Do you mind if we stay?”

         “Absolutely not. Would you like a private room? We have study spaces. Or…I’m not sure.”

         Phoenix had settled slightly and I realized he’d been listening. I was sure he’d smelled the books and knew where we were. “Beanbags,” he said. “Do you have those?”

         “Oh, oh honey, yes,” she laughed, patting his back. “Come on, I’ll show you where they are.” She led us to the left and up a flight of stairs, then to the far back on the right side of that floor. She took us to a corner with a massive tan bean bag. It was big enough for me to lay in.

         “We have these adult sized ones now,” she explained. “Students like them. No one know about this one, though, all the others are on the first floor. It’s all yours.”

         “Thank you,” I said, smiling at her over Phoenix’s head. “Thank you very much.”

         “Oh, you’re welcome.” She looked at Phee then and said, “Young man, what kind of stories do you like to read?”

         He realized he was being spoken to and lifted his head. “I like…all of them.”

         “He likes magic and adventures and sharks,” I replied. Phoenix and Sibil both laughed.

         “You two get settled and give me a moment. I’ll get you some books.”

         She hurried off back the way we’d come and I sat down, never letting my son go. He sat up and slid his back pack off before settling down against my chest. He straddled my lap and tucked his hands up under his chin and I set my arms around him, my face resting in his hair. He didn’t want to talk so we just stayed like that until Sibil returned about twenty minutes later.

         “Sorry I took so long,” she whispered, wheeling a book cart to us. “I searched high and low.” She hadn’t lied and I appreciated that this woman had scoured a library for us. She plucked a few volumes off her cart, short chapter books from the looks of things, and offered them to me. “Those ones have magical adventures. One of them has magical sharks, I thought you might like it. I also have—you’ll have to forgive me, here. I might be overstepping. I noticed that your boy didn’t look at me when I talked to him and I saw the little folded up cane in the pouch on his bag…is he…I’m sorry to ask…”

         “I can’t see,” Phoenix replied. “It’s okay.”

         “That’s what I thought, so I got something special for you. There’s picture books, but those don’t do much for you I bet. We have these new ones called texture books; can I show you?”

         “Sure.” He sat up and she handed him a book. It had some particularly thick pages with things to touch on them.

         “These go along with the story,” she said. “Like, here, it says ‘…her cloak was made of finest silk…’Touch this, it’s silk.” She led his hand to a piece of fabric and he smiled as he felt it. “They’re meant to help kids build their vocabulary. Like, if something is called ‘wooly’ or ‘scaly,’ they can touch it to understand what it means. I figured it might be nice for him too. We only have a few; they’re new. But I pulled all three for you.”

         “Thank you,” I said, investigating the book as Phoenix touched it. “Thank you for all of this.”

         “Absolutely. I’ll be back at the front counter if you need me.”

         Vampires were wasting their time separating themselves from humans. Humans were capable of incredible kindness; Sibil was proof of that. I leaned back into the beanbag as Phee examined the various texture books. Perhaps, even if we were separated, we could send Phoenix things like this. It was a vaguely comforting thought.

         “What else did she bring us?” He asked. I pulled the cart closer and started reading titles to him. He already knew some of the ones she’d picked and they were favorites; she’d done very well. He selected a few to start with and he settled back down against me while I started reading. We sat in that corner of the library, Phoenix in my lap and books piling up on our legs, and we read. Occasionally, he’d doze off and I would pause to let him sleep. He asked lots of questions about what words meant or what I thought of scenes. We were going on adventures vicariously through characters, trying to spend a few lifetimes together in a day. At one point, Sibil came to check on us. I thought she might have more books, but she brought us sandwiches and sodas instead, even though food wasn’t allowed. I let Phee eat all of it.

         After a few more stories, he fell asleep again. I held him, breathing in his scent, and prayed he’d be allowed to live. It was getting past dinner time; when he woke up, he’d be hungry. My phone buzzed in my pocket, interrupting my plans to feed him: Viktor was calling.

         I took a deep breath and answered.

         “It’s time. Vhere are you?”

         “Pittsburgh,” I replied. “Library closest to the children’s museum.” He hung up and, a few minutes later, I heard him walking through the stacks toward us. I gave him a small smile when I could finally see him.

         “Is Aeva alright?”

         “She is fine,” he said, nodding. He wasn’t lying and I breathed a sigh of relief. As I inhaled again, I caught her scent. Viktor smelled strongly of her and I breathed a little more deeply as he came closer.

         “Give him here,” he said, extending his hands. “She misses him.”

         “You moved her already?”

         “She is vaiting.”

         I nodded and gently lifted Phoenix. As soon as Viktor had his hands under my son, they vanished. He returned a few seconds later and offered me his hand. He didn’t move me as soon as I took it, but hauled me to my feet first. My stomach swooped and when we appeared in our new location, it was wrong. I had expected the tunnels of the Volturi or the city of Volterra at least; I had expected to see Aeva and my son. Instead, we were in the wrong place. Viktor had taken me somewhere else.

         “I have deviated from our plan,” he said, releasing my hand.


	7. Prepared (pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aeva's turn.

###  _Aeva_

         I was almost completely numb. I wasn’t fully processing what was happening, but I could feel all of it lurking somewhere deep. It was like watching a torpedo come up from the ocean floor. The surface of the water was still totally calm, but the impending chaos was just a few moments away. Everything was numb except for where Nathan’s hands touched me; his palms were electric.

         He was leaving.

         It wasn’t at all the same scenario he and I had talked through; he wasn’t leaving me like Edward left Bella. He was still mine, but he had to go away and he had to take our son with him. We might be about to die and I wouldn’t get to see either of them again. Viktor had left Nathan and I a little time to say our goodbyes and now the moment was here. He was waiting for Nathan to take his hand. But Nathan looked at me, his yellow eyes lit with agony, and he put his hand out. It reminded me of Phoenix—hand out, palm down—wondering where we were. I grabbed onto him automatically and kissed his fingers. I had his left hand clasped in both of mine, so I pressed my lips to his ring too.

         “Go,” I told him, hearing my own voice as though it was very far away. “I’ll be alright.” I let go of his hand and he looked like he might say something, but he vanished before he did; Viktor had taken him. I was left alone in Nathan’s childhood home and everything was so still and quiet that I became aware of a ringing in my ears.

         Nathan and Phoenix were gone.

         I might get to see them later that night.

         That might be my last chance ever.

         I might not even get that.

         The last time I might ever see my son could be when I snuck out of his bed. The last time I ever touched my husband could be when I kissed his wedding band.

         I was staring straight ahead, eyes unfocused, when Viktor returned. He cleared his throat to get my attention; I looked at him, still dazed, and he offered me his hand. I thought we would stay in the toy-shop house, but that was clearly not his plan.

         “Where are we going?” I asked.

         “My house.”

         He twitched his fingers and I took his hand. My stomach swooped and I was suddenly in a different place. Until he stole me out of my bed, Viktor had never “taken” me. Travelling with him was a bit shocking, but not unpleasant. There was a drop in your stomach, like when you miss a step on a stair case, but there was no satisfying landing of your feet. In fact, if you were standing, your feet didn’t even move. There was just a dull jolt in your belly that let you know you’d moved at all.

         I glanced around and noticed that we were now in a room that seemed to be themed “dead things.” There was a thick bearskin rug on the floor and another thrown over the back of a sofa like an afghan. Antlers were mounted all over the walls and a taxidermied bobcat stood on the mantle over the fireplace. It was miserably cold and very dark, but Viktor set about lighting little oil lamps all around the room. Then he built me a fire.

         I looked around and realized that this room made up the entire house. Everything was old, dark wood and the door outside looked thick and heavy. I knew that—at some point—this room might have had a bed or a cot to sleep in and a table and chairs to eat at, but not anymore. Now, it was just a living room with furniture arranged in a semicircle around the fire place, a large and well stocked book case on the back wall, and lots of dead animals.

         “Is this your house like the other one was Nathan’s house?”

         “Ah…no,” he said, glancing over his shoulder. He was still kneeling on the hearth. “No, I never lived here as a human.”

         “So this isn’t Russia?”

         “This house is in Krakow, Poland.”

         “How did you get it?”

         He didn’t reply. I had my arms hugged around myself to stay warm, but the tiny house heated quickly. I shuffled sideways until I could sit on the couch. “Viktor,” I prompted. “How did you get this place?”

         “I killed the previous owner.”

         The answer caught me off guard and it shouldn’t have. I wasn’t dealing with Nathan anymore—big, sweet Nataniel like they used to call him in his village—and I needed to get him out of my head. I was with Viktor, his father. Viktor was imposing and much more frightening to look at than my husband, but I had warmed up to him over the years. He was polite, if a little curt at times, and he was occasionally very funny. He had a dry sense of humor and he often played straight-man to Nathan’s much more boisterous personality. He also liked Phoenix a lot; Nathan even said Viktor loved him. As I sat there watching him fiddle with logs, though, I realized that I hadn’t actually learned very much about him in all the time I’d known him. In fact, this day he and I were about to spend together would be the first time he and I had ever been alone with each other for more than a moment or two.

         “How…um…how old is this house?”

         “I acqvired it in 1837,” he said, rising back to his feet. “It vas about five years old at that point.”

         He was facing me, brushing debris from his hands and measuring me with his eyes. “What?” I asked.

         “That conversation vith Nataniel,” he said, shrugging. “It did not go as I had expected it to.”

         “What do you mean?”

         “I thought he might at least have to try to convince you. You changed your mind very easily.”

         The torpedo burst through the water’s surface and all hell broke loose. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I demanded, leaping back to my feet. He didn’t even blink.

         “Last night, I finally understood vhat Nataniel has been telling me about you. He says you are very brave and very tough. You told me to take my son and run and that you vould die protecting your child. Now you are here and your son is elsevhere and you said nothing. I don’t fault you; this plan is better than yours. I just thought you might argue.”

         “You thought I might argue? I woke up and walked into that little kitchen or sitting room or whatever the hell we were in and two centuries-old vampires told me a plan. You think I had time to process enough to argue?”

         “Nataniel says you think qvickly.”

         “Alright, first of all, Vik—“ he scowled at that. He didn’t like it that we called him that. “—his name is Nathan. And, on that note, Phoenix’s name is Fee-niks. Not Fee-oh-nix, you over-pronouncing prick.”

         “ _Prick_?”

         “Don’t get on my case about not fighting Nathan over this set up when _you_ swore to _me_ that you would keep him safe. Yes, my son is currently elsewhere, but so is yours. How are you supposed to protect him when we don’t even know where he is?”

         “He vould call for help.”

         “You think if he gets attacked, he’s going to pause to call his dad?”

         “That is…that is a valid critique.”

         “I know it is,” I huffed, folding my arms. “Why didn’t you think of it? Is it because maybe— _just maybe_ —you two decided all of this a bit quick?”

         “Ve have made the best decision. Ve know Aro; this is our best chance to negotiate vith him.”

         “Why are we suddenly negotiating with him? I thought our plan was to run away, not right _to_ him and his brothers or whatever they are.”

         “Vhat do you mean _vhatever they are_. Do you know who ve are dealing vith?”

         “Not really, no,” I laughed, throwing my hands out to my sides. “You two are pretty withholding on this one. I know that they’re sort of like vampire police. You work for them right now, or you _did_ ; this seems like a fireable offense.”

         “It very much is.”

         “I know Aro, Caius, and Marcus are brothers. They have a guard that’s like their main posse. Marcus’s mate got killed. They seem mostly bad; I don’t know.”

         “So nothing,” he said, nodding to himself. “I cannot decide if this is for the best or if it is an oversight.”

         “Is there more I need to know? When we go to see them, what exactly are we walking into?”

         “Aro is going to search us both,” he said, still speaking mostly to himself. “If I tell you, he vill know you know. But ve intend to turn you; it vould be best that you understand the guard you vould be joining.”

         Nathan had said I would have to volunteer for the Volturi, but when Viktor said it, I got a chill down my spine. He’d come to us in a blind panic after realizing that the Volturi knew about Nathan and I. I didn’t like the idea of joining something that could scare Viktor like that.

         “Tell me,” I said. “And don’t tell me like Nathan tells me. _Tell_ me.” Nathan didn’t exactly sugar coat things for me; he was honest, but he left things out. It was like he’d point out a pit to me, but he never let me see just how far down it went. Viktor eyed me for a long moment before he jerked his head toward the couch.

         “Sit,” he said. “Ve have a few hours to fill, I suppose.” I sat down, watching as he took a seat in a wing back chair. “Please take a fur if you are cold.”

         “The fire is fine. Tell me about the Volturi, Viktor. Start with Aro.”

         “Aro is the main founding member,” he replied. “He found Caius and Marcus and, together vith Sulpicia and Athenodora—Aro’s and Caius’s vives, respectively—they founded their coven.”

         “So the brothers aren’t actually brothers?”

         “No, but Caius and Marcus took Aro’s name. Marcus, however, is genuinely a brother to Aro. He married Didyme, Aro’s sister.”

         “Didyme is the wife that was killed, right?” He nodded and I pulled my knees up toward my chest. “Who killed her?”

         “Aro. He turned her and burned her, as it is said.”

         “ _What_? Why would he do that?”

         “Aeva, my darling, perhaps it is best if you stop talking. I vill tell you vhat I know. Aro turned his sister hoping she might show a gift like his. You know vhat he does? A nod vill do.”

         I nodded. He nodded in return.

         “Didyme had the gift to make others happy. I never met her, so I cannot explain how effective it might have been, but she is remembered favorably. Marcus and she discovered their mate bond shortly after, and they vere so happy together they vanted to leave. Aro couldn’t have that, so he killed the least valuable of the pair and kept the other. Marcus first became vengeful, attempting to hunt down Didyme’s murderer. Vhen he could not, he became suicidal. He is, as far as I’m avare, the only member of the Volturi—present or past—who does not know it vas Aro.”

         “What can Marcus do that makes him so valuable?”

         “He can see relational ties. He can see how closely bonded individuals are and vhat might break those bonds.”

         “And Caius?”

         “He has no gift. He is vengeful and cunning and brutal and Aro enjoys his company. They are both perfect examples of the only two vays to be asked to join their ranks: be useful or be entertaining. The trouble vith Marcus created two problems for Aro, though: Marcus vanted to kill himself and, as it turned out, killing a vampire’s mate had profound negative effects. Aro’s solutions vere found in qvuick succession and they are named Chelsea and Corin.”

         “Nathan’s mentioned Chelsea. Her gift is like Marcus’s, right?”

         “No, but they are related. Marcus can identify bonds; Chelsea can manipulate them. Aro uses her to bond Marcus to the Volturi and keep him loyal. He also uses her to bond all the guard members to himself and to break coven ties if he finds a new vampire vorth acquiring. She is the highest ranking member of the guard; she gets vhatever she vants.”

         “Like what?”

         “Her useless mate, Afton, stays in Volterra vith the guard. Aro vould like nothing more than to dispose of him, but he keeps him to keep Chelsea. He knows better than to fiddle vith mates again, vhich brings us to the second problem. Killing Marcus’s mate ruined him and Aro is far too proud to be damaged like that or to risk Caius’s loyalty, so their vives needed to be protected. He put them in a tower vith guards, but he needed them to stay happy, and so he uses Corin and her gift. Corin is the second highest ranking, though she is kept more of a secret than Chelsea.”

         “Is she like Didyme?”

         “A vampire’s gift is related to their traits and abilities as a human. Didyme vas infectiously joyful; Corin smuggled and sold opium.”

         “So her gift is…what? Heroin highs?”

         “Yes. She makes people content vith their circumstances, not matter how vile they may be. She stays vith the vives so they do not become unhappy in the tower. Aro also uses her on Chelsea. At first, Chelsea did not like that, but then the side effects hit. If a vampire is exposed to Corin’s gift for a long time, they develop a dependency and experience vithdrawls vhen she goes avay.”

         “So she’s exactly like heroin.”

         “Yes and Aro keeps Chelsea addicted. In turn, Chelsea keeps Corin firmly bonded to Aro. In this vay, he ensures neither of them leave. Caius also partakes of Corin’s gift occasionally and Aro encourages this. Marcus refuses to let her dull his pain.”

         “Nathan has talked about Felix and Demitri. Who are they?”

         “I am not there yet. Next in rank is Renata. She possesses an incredibly strong physical shield and serves as Aro’s personal bodyguard. Anyvone that gets too close to him is diverted by Renata. At some point, they discovered if Renata is too close to Nataniel, I cannot get to him. They have used this before to…to keep me in line.”

         I didn’t like that at all.

         “Below Renata is the armed guard, the cavalry, if you vill. Highest among them are Jane and Alec, the tvins. Aro found them exhibiting powers vhen they vere still human and vaited just long enough for them to develop a semblance of self-control before he turned them. They have long range, psychological gifts. Jane can instantly cause immense pain in an individual; she sets off all the pain sensors in their body vithout ever causing them genuine harm. Alec’s gift is the opposite: he can affect many people, but it takes time. His gift cuts off all senses. The pair of them have disabled entire armies.”

         “Nathan said Jane is soft on him.”

         “Most of the guard is very fond of Nataniel; Jane is vone of his more ardent admirers.”

         “Who are the others? His ardent admirers?” I wasn’t sure what I was hoping for with that question, but the answer made me sick to my stomach.

         “Corin, Demitri, Santiago, Heidi, and of course Aro himself.”

         I nodded again, not sure what to do with that information yet. I had never even heard the names Santiago or Heidi until just then. Vitkor continued speaking, unaffected.

         “The last of the black cloaks is Demitri. He is the tracker. He replaced a less effective tracker as soon as Aro discovered him. Demitri tracks minds; he cannot read thoughts, but he can find people’s minds from very great distances. The better he knows a mind’s signature, the easier it is to find. He can be anyvhere in the world and can always find Aro.”

         “And he’s one of Nathan’s ardent admirers?”

         “He is more enthusiastic than some, yes.”

         “So would you say he knows Nathan’s mental signature well?”

         “I vould.”

         “Fantastic. What is a ‘black cloak?’ What does that mean?”

         “The darker the cloak, the higher the rank. Nataniel and I vore black cloaks. I had a black cloak immediately, Nataniel earned his later as Aro grew fond. He vould not have gotten vone othervise.”

         “Why not?”

         “Nataniel is not the most effective truth seer available. His gift for histories is interesting though; it is similar to Aro’s gift in that he has access to everything you’ve done. But his truth seeing is easier fooled than other vampires vith the same ability. The Volturi don’t often care for truth anyvay. Nataniel vas given a grey cloak vhen I first brought him to Volterra.”

         “Who else has a grey cloak?”

         “The grey cloaks are replaceable, so they have changed over the years. The permanent grey cloaks, though, are Afton, Felix, and Santiago. Afton is Chelseas’s mate; he has a veak psychological shield. Felix and Santiago are fighters. They’re big and fast and vicious, but those are not unique traits among vampires. Aro has grown accustomed to them, however.”

         “What color is Heidi’s cloak?”

         “Heidi does not vear vone, but she is very valuable. She brings the Volturi food. She is an exceptionally beautiful voman and her gift is enticement; you cannot say no to her invitation.”

         He stopped speaking then and stared at me; I chewed my thumb nail as I thought it all over. I found a number of things very concerning. Nathan had told me that trysts between unmated vampires were very common; knowing Heidi’s gift, I wondered how often he’d been given an invitation he couldn’t refuse. If Jane was just barely older than a child, I didn’t want to think about Nathan with her, though I knew age was all relative to vampires. Santiago was a strong-man and Demitri was a tracker. Their interest in my husband didn’t worry me as much as Aro’s. Aro’s interest was dangerous, but it also didn’t make sense to me. Mated vampires shouldn’t be interested in anyone else.

         “Heidi, Jane, Demitri, and Santiago,” I said. “Do they have mates?”

         “They do not.”

         “Then Aro’s wife…”

         Viktor’s eyes flashed and he leaned toward me. “I have long suspected the same,” he said, his voice almost sinister. “I do not believe Aro has found his mate at all. He didn’t vant to go searching around, and so he found Sulpicia and changed her. He claimed she vas his mate and, truly, is fond of her. I do not think Aro experienced anything like you and Nataniel have done, though. You broke my son, Aeva. He vas different after meeting you. Aro is unchanged.”

         “And Caius? Is his wife his real mate?”

         “Yes, I believe so,” he said, sitting back again. “But Aro is persuasive and Caius could see the damage done to Marcus after Didyme’s death. Vhy not offer his mate increased protection?”

         “Do they ever see them?”

         “Caius visits Athenodora regularly; Aro visits Sulpicia significantly less. I think the separation from his mate is vhat makes Caius so unpleasant. It is just a theory though.”

         “You have a lot of theories about vampires. Do you study them?”

         “Yes, in a manner of speaking. It is…instinctive for me. I have alvays preferred to know just vhat I am dealing vith.”

         “How do you study a vampire, though? Do you just ask questions?”

         “Observation, investigation, certainly,” he said, nodding. “That vorks for studying behavior. Studying the body is harder to do; you can’t take us apart when ve’re dead and look at our insides like you can do for humans.”

         “Why not?”

         “Ve don’t leave corpses. You must burn a vampire’s body to kill it. Othervise, it can be put back together again.”

         “Put back together again?” I said, wrinkling my nose. “So you have to dismember them every time?

         “Of course you do,” he laughed. “They vould put out the fire othervise.”

         “So how are there theories on how you work if you can’t look at cadavers? What do you do?”

         “Vivisection.”

         “Like, opening someone up while they’re still alive?”

         “It’s the only vay. All you need are tools made from a dead vampire’s bones, four strong assistants to hold the limbs, and a little ambition: Vivisection.”

         “When did you do that?”

         “You are deeply morbid.”

         “You used to cut your friends open and poke around in their organs.”

         He smirked and inclined his head, letting me know I’d won on that point. “Fair enough. I helped perform vivisections in my first 300 years vith the Volturi. They had qvestions that needed answering and I was inqvisitve.”

         “What did you learn?”

         “Before our vork, no one knew vhy ve needed blood; just that ve did.”

         “Nathan said your venom is made out of blood.”

         “It is,” he said, nodding thoughtfully. “Ve also learned that ve have all the same organs that humans do, but they function differently. They’re all just energy stores. If needed, our bodies can break them down like fat cells. Ve grow them back if that happens.”

         “How do you know they grow back?”

         He raised his eyebrows and I shook my head, changing my mind. I didn’t want to know the answer to that. While vivisection was a horrifying development, I was mostly thinking about the vampire beside me.

         I hadn’t known that about Viktor before; I didn’t know he studied his own kind. I had always sort of wondered how Nathan knew as much as he did about vampires, but I had been chalking it up to personal experience or widespread knowledge. I’d never considered that Nathan knew a lot because he was close with an expert. I had never known I had a vampire expert for a father in law.

         I also hadn’t known that Viktor felt compelled to investigate the people around him, but it fell in line with what I _did_ know about him. He was a sneak and a former smuggler, and so now he could move instantly from place to place. The way Nathan talked about it, I had also assumed it meant he was a coward, but Viktor was bold and oftentimes downright combative. His gift was meant for infiltration, not just escape. If a vampire’s gift was tied to their human qualities, then I had to think harder whenever I learned about one. Viktor was a sneak and a smuggler, so he had to maintain some level of mistrust about the people around him. If he didn’t trust anyone, then of _course_ he would investigate them. If he’d been a smuggler, other people’s knowledge about him put him at risk: he would need to have just as much dirt on them.

         He’d done that to me once he realized Nathan and I were a permanent arrangement; he immediately wanted to get to know me to see how much of a risk I was. He’d even asked to interrogate my whole family, one by one, just to see what they knew. Viktor was an investigator. He wasn’t a smuggler anymore, he was a sleuth; a spy.

         Nathan had a knack for histories and he could spot liars, that was his gift. In his human life, he had been big, sweet Nataniel. Everyone told Nathan everything.

         “Do you think Nathan has more of a gift than like…what he does?”

         “Vhat? You’ve been silent for this long and that is vhat you are thinking about?”

         “Just answer me,” I huffed. “Do you think there’s more than just autobiographies and truth seeing?”

         He rolled his eyes but he answered me anyway. “If you must know, I _do_ think there is more to Nataniel. He has a knack for popularity.”

         “What?”

         “It is very hard to dislike Nataniel. Almost every unmated vampire we’ve met has been infatuated vith him.”

         “ _You_ don’t have a mate.”

         “And here I am, up for execution and hiding his mate, rather than fleeing for my own safety. He does it to everyvone. Tell me, if _I_ had been your mate, vould your family have accepted me as qvickly as they took him in? Even if it had been somevone more pleasant like Carlisle Cullen, vould it have happened that fast?”

         I had to chew that one over for a moment. I was upset I hadn’t ever had a conversation like this with Viktor before now. It seemed he’d spent a lot of time thinking about the same things I had, but he’d had a few more centuries to come up with answers.

         “Nathan is popular. Alright. Is Edward like that? Is that why he gets to see into people’s heads?”

         “You have met Edvard, yes?”

         “Yes.”

         “And you think he vas popular as a human? Vith his personality?”

         I rolled my eyes at him, but I did crack half a smile in spite of myself. Edward had not been _unpleasant_ , but he was certainly no Nathan. Viktor seemed pleased with my reaction.

         “Edvard is the brooding, qviet type,” he continued. “He vas observant of others; he read them vell. Now, he gets to see into their heads vithout them knowing.”

         “But Nathan hears histories as though the person is speaking; he hears what’s important to them about their lives.”

         “Yes.”

         “And Aro gets to see every thought you’ve ever had.”

         “Yes again.”

         “So what was he like as a human?”

         “He is very old, Aeva, I do not know.”

         “Well then how does his gift work?”

         “He touches you and knows everything.”

         “What does it feel like, though? You can’t feel Nathan or Edward’s gifts.”

         “You feel Aro’s.” His face suddenly looked darker. “You feel him inside your head and he makes you go vith him; you look through your memories together.”

         Aro was a sadist then, I decided. Aro also seemed to have an aversion to emotion. He had a possibly false mate—I was willing to say conclusively false, having been half of a mated pair before—and used another vampire’s gift to form relational bonds, rather than create genuine attachments. He hadn’t even cared about his sister. Perhaps he was a psychopath and he _couldn’t_ form genuine bonds. All I knew about psychopaths was what I’d retained from my high school AP psychology class, but he fit the profile. Ambitious and unempathetic, but he seemed to _enjoy_ inflicting discomfort, and that wasn’t standard for psychopathy. That had to come from what he’d done as a human.

         “I bet Aro used to be an inquisitor,” I muttered. Viktor’s eyebrows raised. “Like, Spanish Inquisition style inquisitor. I bet he tortured information out of people.”

         “Vhat do your thoughts sound like vhen you go qviet?” Viktor mused.

         “My thoughts sound extremely useful and they should be included in decisions like this from now on,” I snapped, getting to my feet. My brain was churning fast and I needed to pace. Why were these two always so big-picture about things? They needed to start learning to look at the details. Maybe that was an artist’s perspective on things, but it seemed so obvious to me. We weren’t walking into any random vampire’s nest; you couldn’t just rely on what the standard vampire behaviors were or what the standard Volturi procedures were; these were unique individuals playing specific roles. They would all affect the outcome of what we had to do, but Aro’s decision was final. They had at least picked up on that much, they just weren’t looking hard enough at what it meant.

         “I know I asked you not to speak,” Viktor said, watching me from his seat. “I vould like to retract that reqvuest now. Share, please.”

         “Aro is—“ I stopped short. “Aro will search your head when you go to him, won’t he? He’ll see this whole conversation. He’ll see me, even if I’m not there.”

         “He vill.”

         I gave a theatrical sort of shudder and stopped talking. I wanted Aro to see that, but I didn’t want him to hear what I was thinking. If we were going to make a plan to trick him, we couldn’t leave the blueprints lying out where he could see them. That meant I couldn’t touch him, but Viktor would have to; by extension, I had to watch my mouth around Viktor. Between him and Nathan, regardless of what they talked about, the conclusion they reached was ‘plea bargain.’ He could see whatever he wanted in Nathan’s head.

         There were tricks to this, I knew there were. I just had to puzzle them out. So far, everyone’s gifts had shortcomings. Edward couldn’t turn his mind reading off; it was _always_ happening. Nathan had told me that Edward’s sister, Alice, could see the future, but that it was subject to change. Nathan could only see lies if you knew you were telling them; if you were fooled, so was he. Viktor could vanish and reappear, but he could only take one other person with him at a time. He couldn’t move groups. I’d been quiet too long, Viktor needed to hear something.

         “I’m scared of Aro,” I said. “I don’t want to go in front of him.” I wasn’t lying; this whole situation was terrifying. Of the bunch, Aro sounded like the person I least wanted to meet. Aro…and Jane. “I’m scared of Jane too.”

         “Jane is intimidating, to be sure,” Viktor allowed. “But Aro does not generally allow her to attack people in hearings. However hearings are also…vell…”

         “Hearings are what?”

         “Hearings are sometimes conducted by having Alec immobilize the defendants and Aro touching each of them in turn to determine guilt or innocence.”

         “That’s what happens to groups?”

         “Yes.”

         “Well then we are _not_ going as a group,” I laughed, shocked he hadn’t said that sooner. “He’ll do that to us. He’ll search all of us and he won’t _listen_.”

         “Vhat do you suggest instead?”

         I didn’t respond right away, but I had the beginnings of an idea. There were two ways to join the ranks of the Volturi: be useful or be entertaining. Viktor had been high ranking immediately; Nathan had been promoted. Viktor was useful and Nathan was entertaining. Aro valued use more. Unless there was a vampire out there that could teleport an entire circus, Viktor was also probably the best at what he did. Aro wouldn’t want to lose him.

         “You should go first to test the waters,” I said.

         “You vant me to go alone?”

         “They like you the best. Even though you’ve been helping to hide us, you’ve still been doing work for them. You used to wear a black cloak; I mean, that has to count for something, right? And they all liked Nathan when he was unmated and might respond to their…advances. He won’t do that anymore. You’re the popular one now, congratulations.”

         “They could still choose to immobilize and search me. Had you thought of that?”

         “But they wouldn’t…they wouldn’t kill you like that, right? I mean, you’ve done the least things wrong. It’s Nathan and I that are the fugitives.”

         “I am aiding and abetting.”

         I went quiet again and put my thumbnail back in my mouth. I needed to paint a picture for Aro. He would certainly want a good look at me if he were going through Viktor’s head. I didn’t have a whole plan put together, but I knew I was right about sending Viktor first. Aro needed him. At the very least, Aro liked using him. What should he do when he got there though?

         My stomach made a sound that make Viktor and I both jump.

         “Are you…hungry?” He asked.

         I nodded. I was, after all. My body had become accustomed to being served a magnificent breakfast every morning, thanks to Nathan’s meticulous care. I had no idea what time it was in Krakow, Poland, but it was breakfast time back at home. Based on the ache in my stomach, it was probably closer to lunch.

         “I vill bring you something; vait here.”

         He disappeared and I sat back down on the couch. I barely had time to think before he returned, a brown paper parcel in hand. He’d come back too quickly to have purchased something, so I knew it was stolen. He handed it to me and I peeled it open. Inside were two long chunks of sausage, little white dumplings and a hunk of bread.

         “Kielbasa and pierogi,” he said, returning to his chair. “Velcome to Poland.”

         I ate in silence. The food was good, though very different from what I was used to. The little dumplings were potato filled, which surprised me. It was warm and filling, though. My time with Viktor was feeling awkward again. Nathan stared directly at Phoenix and I as we ate, but he was so friendly that it never felt all that strange. Having Viktor in the room pointedly ignoring me, however, was an uncomfortable experience. He waited until I was finished before he spoke.

         “If I go alone to the Volturi, vhat do I say?”

         “Make our case,” I replied, shrugging. “I don’t really know. I just know we’re less likely to get killed on the spot if it’s just you. Aro might listen to you; he wants to keep you working for him, doesn’t he? Would you keep coming back if he killed Nathan?”

         “No.”

         “Would Nathan be functional if Phoenix and I are killed?”

         “I think not.”

         “Try and explain that before they do something rash.”

         “And in the meantime?”

         “Take me to Nathan,” I laughed. “Let me be with him and Phoenix.”

         “No,” he said, getting to his feet. “Nataniel is still right in that you should remain separated. If you are both together, Aro vill see it in my mind. He vould disable me and send his tracker after you. He vill know you are in Krakow, but not vhere. He vill not know vhere Nataniel is vithout hunting first. You stay here; I vill go. I have thought it over. You are right in this, I think.”

         “How long do you think it will take?”

         “It could be a few moments; it could take hours. I do not know.”

         I reached out and took his hand, the first time I’d ever voluntarily touched him without prompting. “Good luck,” I said, squeezing his fingers. “Make them listen.”

         “I vill do my best. And vhat should I do at the end of this?”

         “Do what Aro says. If he hears everything we have to say and still disagrees, he’ll make his verdict come true one way or another.”

         He nodded, then vanished and left me holding on to air. It would be another waiting game, then. I had spent more time anxiously waiting around after I had gotten involved with vampires than I ever had before them. I didn’t really want him to do whatever Aro said, unless he agreed perfectly with our change-me-save-Phoenix plan. That would be alright. Anything else and we would have to come up with some way to trick him. I just didn’t know how to do that, though. He could see every thought a person had ever had. But he was averse to strong emotions. I wasn’t sure how those two might link for us, but I was sure there was something in it.

         I waited for hours, just wandering around the little one room house. I wanted Nathan with me; I wanted him _so_ badly it made my chest ache. I wanted to hold Phoenix; I had to wrap my arms around myself to stave off the urge I had to hug my son. Pining after them would make this wait harder. I could only comfort myself with the fact that at least they were together. I would rather Phoenix be with one his parents and feel safer than me be with Nathan. I could manage.

         I had to pee after a while and, when I looked out the window, I saw my only option for that was an outhouse a few yards away. Of course Viktor had no snow boots or coats in his stolen hovel, so I wrapped the bearskin from the couch around myself and sprinted outside. That whole process was deeply miserable and I had to sit with my feet by the fire for a long time before I could feel them again. I was lucky I hadn’t gotten frostbite. I had to add two logs.

         After my bathroom ordeal, I started browsing Viktor’s book collection. Many of them were in languages I couldn’t read. Eventually I found something, a history of siege techniques, and sat down with it. I fell asleep reading about the phalanx and I have no idea how long I slept for. When I woke up, Viktor was standing next to me and I jumped, kicking out of the fur.

         “What did they say?” I asked, scrambling to my feet. “What was Aro’s verdict?”

         “Execution,” he said, staring hard at the floor. “You and Phoenix must be executed. If I do that, Nataniel can stay vith me.”

         “If _you_ do it? You mean…you’re going to be the one that…”

         “It is vhat you vanted, no?” He snapped, raising his head. His red eyes looked angry. “You and Phoenix die together; Nataniel lives on.”

         “Viktor, wait, okay?” I put my hands up and started to back away. This was backfiring magnificently. “We can think a way around this!”

         “You can think a vay around it? The verdict vas clear.”

         “Viktor, stop. Just stop!” He was walking toward me. “Viktor wait, Nathan doesn’t know yet. Please, wait. Stop, Viktor! VIKTOR!”


	8. Executed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Instructions are meant to be followed.

###  _Nathan_

         We were out in a field, the dusky night air thick with the smell of hay. The soil was dry and rocky, with a few sparse tufts of grass dotting its surface. We were right beside a split rail fence and, a few yards away, two vampires were waiting for us, both sporting white-blond hair. The female was small, tiny even—she stood a few inches shorter than Aeva. The male was long and lean, sitting on the fence in jeans and dusty boots. Both wore flannel shirts and, while the female had her hair tied up in a braid, the male’s shoulder length hair blew around his face as a breeze rolled by. I didn’t hear any stories in my head when I saw these two: I already knew them. These were Peter and Charlotte, nomads that had fled from the Southern Vampire Wars over a century ago. The pair of them were friends of ours, though we hadn’t seen them in a long while.

         As Viktor led me toward them, Peter slid off the rail and down to his feet, slipping his hands into his pockets as he stood beside his mate. “Nathan,” he said, nodding. Charlotte smiled and came forward to embrace me. Viktor had often joked that the three of us looked like a little family when we were together because of our hair color. He liked these two quite a bit more than the Cullens; he’d wanted them to join our coven, but nothing had come of it. When I released Charlotte, I looked over at my father expectantly.

         “You deviated from our plan?” I asked as we all began to walk, following the fence line.

         “Yes,” Viktor nodded. “At Aeva’s urging, I vent to the Volturi alone. She vas vorried if ve all vent as a group, they might execute us all on the spot.”

         “It wouldn’t be unheard of.”

         “She convinced me to go alone. Obviously they did not execute me.”

         “What did they say?” I asked, still unsure why we were with our friends. Perhaps we were going to build up a small army; perhaps we were going to fight.

         “They are villing to negotiate,” he said, squinting toward the newly risen moon.

         “And what are their terms?”

         “I am sorry, Nataniel,” he muttered, clasping his hands behind his back. He stopped walking and looked down at his perfectly shined shoes. “Truly, you must know…I am sorry.”

         “Sorry for what?”

         Peter and Charlotte had stopped walking too. In fact, Peter had gone completely still; Charlotte turned her head away.

         “Viktor…what…?”

         Suddenly he struck me hard across the face, knocking me off balance; I lashed out to grab him just as he vanished. Quicker than I would have ever thought possible, Peter had me down on my knees with my ankles crossed, his boot crushing them against the gravel. He had my elbows locked together in a vice grip behind my back and his other hand held my head to his shoulder, his teeth at my throat. This was how one most easily disarmed and decapitated a newborn; it was Peter’s specialty. If I dared to fight back, it would take him less than a second to sever my head; if I so much as struggled, his teeth would slice through the skin on my neck.

         “What are you doing?” I hissed.

         “Viktor said it’s for you own good,” Charlotte replied, finally turning back to look at me. Her expression was hard.

         “What? What is he doing? Where has he gone?”

         “It’s for your own good,” she repeated, but her eyes flickered from my face to Peter’s. _To her mate_.

         “NO!” I roared, surging forward. I didn’t care that Peter’s teeth cut a deep gash in the side of my throat; my only chance to break the hold was to yank him off balance. He took one large step forward with his right foot, his left grinding my ankles down harder, and caught us both. He twisted my arms in the hand that held them and I cried out in pain as he shook me.

         “God damn it, Nathan, you hold still!” He snarled, renewing his grip on my hair and hauling me back to my original position. “I don’t want to take your head off, but I sure as shit will if you don’t stop fightin’ me. I’m not about to let you go; you’re quicker’n hell and I’m not interested in losin’ any limbs today.”

         “Please,” I pleaded, looking from him to Charlotte and back again. “Please, he’s going after Aeva. He’s going after my mate.”

         Charlotte’s face showed no expression as she replied, voice low and serious, “We know.”

         There was no lie; Viktor was going to murder Aeva and he had enlisted our friends to help him do it. Charlotte held my gaze, unwavering, and I was certain she must have punched a hole straight through my chest while I wasn’t looking. I let out a shaky breath as a pain unlike any I had ever experienced radiated out from my heart. _I am sorry_ , he’d said. Peter held me motionless for twenty agonizing minutes; Charlotte’s eyes never left mine and her expression never softened.

         When Viktor reappeared, I stared at him in horror. His eyes were a bright and well fed red. He looked down his nose at me and said, “It is done.” His breath hit my face and my stomach clenched; I could smell their blood, both of them.

         He’d killed Aeva and Phoenix.

         “Viktor…” It came out as little more than a strangled whisper. He nodded at Peter who released my arms. I fell forward, unwilling to catch myself, but Viktor stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. I blinked and we were in the tunnels of Volterra.

         “Felix,” Viktor said, looking over my head. “Take him.” I was hoisted to my feet, though I couldn’t quite get them under me. Felix had one massive hand on each of my upper arms, forcing me to stay upright and shamble along beside him. There was no affection from him in this trip to the throne room; there were no gently clasped hands or amused smiles. This was not a return home, this was a death march. Viktor walked silently at our side, red eyes fixed straight ahead.

         I was furious with him; my seething rage was boiling deep inside me, but it was rendered impotent by the incapacitating pain aching through me. I wasn’t in control of my body. I was certain I wouldn’t be able to defend myself if the need arose; I wasn’t sure I would want to.

         _Aeva and Phoenix._

         That was the only coherent thought my mind would form.

         _Aeva and Phoenix._

         I couldn’t even picture their faces. My own body and mind were operating with the very last shreds of my sense of self-preservation and would not permit me to pull their images from my memory. I would surely fall apart if I did.

         Viktor opened the door to the throne room and Felix marched me in. The three of us walked to the center, directly before Aro, and the fighter dropped me at his feet. I fell to my knees, keening sideways, only to have my fall stopped when I hit Viktor’s legs. He was directly to my left, still not looking at me. He addressed Aro instead.

         “I have done as instructed.” His voice was hard and cold. It was the tone he used to scold me. I couldn’t lift my head from my father’s thigh, so I simply turned my eyes to Aro and his brothers. Caius wore his look of perpetual disdain while Marcus, seeming uncharacteristically interested in the proceedings, wore a grimace. Aro was staring down at me, eyebrows raised and pinched together in concern.

         “Nataniel,” he sighed. “My dear one, I do apologize for what has transpired today.” I could see the look of anguish on my face reflected in his rheumy eyes. “You must understand, we had no other options available to us.”

         I couldn’t speak. My mouth was entirely dry. The only response I could give was a ragged exhale. Aro closed his eyes and steepled his fingers, his face calm and serene as he spoke again.

         “I was given insight into your relationship with the human girl when young Edward Cullen came to see me. I must admit, I did not known the extent of your involvement with him.” He opened his eyes and peered down his nose at me, clearly curious. “How strange for such a pair to find themselves in such similar predicaments. But I digress. His revelation of your breech of our laws was deeply concerning, as was your subsequent disappearance. We were nearly ready to send Demetri to call on the girl when your sire—“ he paused to nod at Viktor “—returned to us to make a confession of guilt on your behalf and his own.

         “I was more than willing to accept such an admission, dear one. I thought it noble that he had come forward and I was prepared to extend to you the same mercy we showed the Cullen boy and his pet. But Viktor’s revelations further complicated the situation. It seems your human had a child, yes?”

         I squeezed my eyes shut in response.

         _Aeva and Phoenix._

         “Yes, I already know the truth of it,” Aro continued, adding a small sigh. “I also learned of the unfortunate decision you had made to leave the girl human in order to raise the blind boy. It seemed, though you were willing to change her, your human was determined to see her son again and would more than likely reveal our kind to him. I felt remorse and sadness as I came to realize the only path available to us.

         “I must admit, however, that my remorse was tinged with betrayal when I also discovered your lie during your last visit.”

         I opened my eyes again, understanding what was to come next. This would be my sentencing.

         “Our dear Viktor lied on your behalf so that he might protect you. Though his actions are reprehensible, they can be understood. He is a devoted sire. You were truly blessed to have been created by him. I do not think I would have risked my own life in such a manner for such a disobedient creature. His actions here today, coming to us and making his confession, have also been to ensure your well-being. It is out of respect to him, and in gratitude for his continued service to our cause, that you have an opportunity to leave us this day with your life intact. But first, of course, must come the investigation. Your hand, dear one.” He extended his fingers toward me and I stared at them, utterly unable to comprehend what he had just told me. I might be left alive? Why? I would have preferred that Felix dismember me and have it over and done with.

         Viktor let out a low growl and he stooped, raising my limp arm by the wrist and pressing my fingers into Aro’s palm. The ancient vampire closed his eyes and I could feel his tendrils snaking through my mind, forcing their way through every crevice. I could feel him shred through and discard the first time I’d met my son, hours spent in a rocking chair with Phoenix against my chest, and Jaime’s funeral. I wanted to vomit as he lingered over my wedding night and the many nights afterward; he savored the memories of my hands against Aeva’s skin, her hands against mine. Venom welled in my mouth as he examined an image of Aeva breastfeeding; his fascination was unwholesome and I felt the nerves in my arms and hands returning to life, screaming for me to attack him. Finally, he pried up my memories of the past few moments. He forced me to repeatedly relive my restraint, my realization, and the scent of my wife and son’s blood on my father’s breath. This new wave of agony stifled my aggression and I felt the sickening pull of Aro’s mind receding from my own. It was a violation unlike any other and I felt filthy afterward, as I always had.

         “Your pain is…profound,” Aro murmured, releasing my hand. My arm fell limply back to my side. “I do hope that, in time, you may heal. The usual punishment for such an infraction would be death, but your father has arranged a trade: her death and the death of her child for your life. We had thought perhaps we could extend the opportunity to you and allow you to end their lives by your own hand. He told us that you would not be able to manage it, and I see now how astute he was in this assertion. He vowed to complete the unpleasant task on your behalf, as he has done on so many occasions. He has upheld his end of our agreement, and so we will uphold ours. You should offer him thanks; you owe him much.”

         Aro turned his gaze back to Viktor and smiled benignly.

         “Thank you, Aro,” Viktor said, bowing slightly at the waist. “And you, Caius and Marcus. Your mercy is profound.”

         “As is your gratitude,” Aro replied, nodding. “You may take your son and go, dear one. Return again soon.”

         Viktor bowed again and stooped to collect me, hauling me up by locking his arms around my chest. I caught sight of Alec and Jane as he lifted me; Alec seemed bored, but Jane wore an unmistakable look of disgust on her face. It seemed I had disappointed her.

         Instantly, I was on the deck at the house on the cliff. Viktor lowered me gently down, resting my forehead against the stone basin of the fire pit. I could see the Jaime statue from where I sat; I hoped he was welcoming Aeva and Phoenix home. Viktor crouched beside me, turning my face slightly so that I was forced to look at him.

         “I know I have hurt you,” he murmured, smoothing my hair away from my forehead. “I hope, in time, you vill forgive me. I am scared to see you like this. You have never lost yourself this vay before. I did not know vhat it vould do to you.”

         “You…you _murdered_ …”

         “Shh,” he whispered, clasping my head in both of his hands and pressing his lips to my forehead. “Hush now. I have only ever vanted vhat vas best for you. I have tried my best to keep you alive and I have failed you now.”

         I was struggling to process what was happening. I wanted his hands off of me; of that much, I was certain. His affection made my skin crawl. I couldn’t understand, though, how he had failed in his endeavor to keep me alive. At the expense of my family, I was still living. Barely.

         “W…what…?”

         “Ve have used our second chance; there vill be no more mercy shown to us,” he whispered, mouth in my hair as he held my head to his chest. “I have doomed us all, and I am sorry. I am sorry, my darling boy.”

         His chest shook slightly and I realized he was sobbing. I pushed against him, wanting to see his face, but he held me tighter, keeping my head locked under his with one hand and grasping the nape of my neck with the other.

         “Ve vill surely die, all of us, if ve are found out. I am sorry, Nataniel. I cannot save you, but I have bought you time.”

         “Time?”

         He clutched me tighter for just a moment, pressing a kiss into my hairline before releasing me. He stood and my eyes followed him, watching as he extended his hand. I didn’t think I could feel anything beyond the pain in my chest, but curiosity had eked its way through. I reached up, shocked that my arms moved at my urging, and grasped my father’s hand in my own. He moved us to the Krakow house; Aeva and Phoenix’s scent was so strong I was certain this was where he’d killed them. I clenched my eyes shut and fell forward, head bowed to the ground. I didn’t understand what he wanted from me. I couldn’t move.

         I had been dismembered once in my first few years as a vampire. I was cocky and not ready for the time when my newborn strength would finally disappear. Viktor allowed me to pick fights and so I had; I took on a nomad that was much older than I was. I had no finesse or real skill, just a desire to fight. He nearly managed to get my left arm off and it dangled uselessly at my side when I dove for him again. He was better than I was and he kicked my ass. Viktor stepped in just as the skin of my thigh began to tear; I lost my leg at the hip.

         The pain of those injuries had been immense. There is a profound difference in the pain caused by breaking a bone or tearing your skin as a human and having a limb wrenched from your body as a vampire. I got better at fighting after that, motivated to never feel it again. As I laid with my forehead on the hearth, I thought vaguely about how having Viktor pull my arm off might provide a distraction from the pain inside me. I had never felt anything like it.

         It was a seeping blackness that dulled my senses and left itself as the only thing I could feel. It pressed outward, threatening to burst from me at any moment, but also clung fiercely to my ribs, refusing to let my chest expand for a full breath. It felt as though I could explode or be crushed and the ultimate cruelty was that neither would ever happen. I would live with it until Viktor finally showed mercy and ended me. I realized then that I had my arms wrapped around myself, hands clutching my sides. I dug my fingers into my own skin so hard I heard it cracking. I would rather shatter myself than hold that cloying blackness inside my body.

         Then I felt a small, warm hand on my back.

         It skimmed over my spine and my shoulders, brushing over my hair and my ear until it was pressed against my cheek. Tiny fingers slid over my clenched eyelids, my furrowed brow, and my tight jaw.

         “What’s wrong, daddy?”

         The voice shot through me like a bolt of lightning, electrifying every nerve. I gasped and my eyes shot open. Phoenix was crouched beside me, his left hand pressed to my face and his right splayed on the ground, holding him steady. His vacant, blue eyes stared straight ahead at the fireplace but as his hand moved over my mouth—now hanging slightly open in shock—I knew his focus was on me.

         “What’s wrong?” He asked again. I was still working out a reply when two arms slid around me from behind. A body, radiating scorching heat, pressed against my back as a head thudded against mine, sending a cascade of dark hair over my face. Her scent filled my nose and mouth and suddenly, my chest released, letting me fill my lungs. Faster than I had ever moved before, I had Phoenix in my lap. My entire body curled around him and I pressed my face and nose into his wild mane of hair, breathing him in. I cradled him to me and he smiled and held on to my fingers, dropping his head against my chest.

         Aeva was still pressed to my back, gripping me as tightly as she was able, and littering my shoulders and neck with kisses. She was crying, but I was too in shock to sob. She finally settled, resting her head on my shoulder and pressing her mouth and nose to my neck, her arms still tight around my middle.

         “Oh, god, Nathan,” she breathed, her voice shuddering. “Oh, thank god you’re alright.” One of her hands came up to touch my face, holding my head against hers. “I thought you were gone. I thought you were gone!” I was glad she was able to say everything in my head, because I still couldn’t seem to get my voice working.

         “Daddy, what happened?” Phoenix asked, squeezing my fingers. “Why was momma worried? Where did you go?”

         “He had to see some people,” Aeva murmured, taking her hand from my face and running it over Phee’s hair. “They’re not nice; they could have hurt him. They just scared him instead.”

         “Don’t be scared,” Phee said, turning so that he could wrap his arms around me. “Don’t be scared, we’re here. We’ve got you.”

         At those words, the flood gates opened, and a sob shook my body so violently that I heard Aeva’s teeth snap together. She hurried around to kneel in front of me, guiding my head down so that it rested on her shoulder. She kept one hand at the nape of my neck and the other locked in my hair, kissing my face again and again. Phoenix held me as I cried, his little arms barely reaching around my chest. I pressed him to me with one hand, lifting the other to cup Aeva’s face. My eyes stung and burned, but it was Aeva’s tears that dripped onto the floor. I hadn’t been able to take my attention away from Phoenix to look at her yet, but I did then.

         Her hair was loose and wild around her tear streaked face. Her black eyes were red-rimmed and shining, her cheeks were ruddy, her lip was quivering, and she was beautiful. She was alive and she was so, so _beautiful_. She pressed a kiss to my forehead and laughed through her tears; the sound was exactly the incredible relief I was shaking with.

         “I—I—“

         “I know,” she laughed, pulling my head back against her shoulder and resting her mouth in my hair. “Oh, I know. I love you so much, Nathan. Thank god you’re safe.” She broke from our embrace then and dashed past me; I followed her progress and saw her leap at Viktor, locking her arms around his neck. He was shocked, but put his arms loosely around her, bending at the waist so her feet could touch the ground. She put her hand on the left side of his face and kissed his other cheek again and again.

         “Thank you,” she whispered between each one. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” His smile was small, but it was there, and he looked at me with sad eyes. Aeva released him and grabbed his hand, tugging him toward me. “Help me get him up,” she said, wiping at her eyes with her wrist. “Help me get him off the ground. I can’t lift him.”

         He followed her instructions without protest and caught me under my arms, careful not to crush Phoenix’s hands, and pulled me up. My legs were shaking, but I managed to get up and stumble to the sofa, never releasing my hold on my son. As soon as I was sitting, Phoenix scrambled around so that he straddled me, tucking his arms in and putting his head against my collar bone: it was his comfort position, one that made him feel safe. I set one hand on his back and stuck my other out for Aeva. She crawled under my arm immediately, pressing herself firmly against my side and setting her cheek against Phee’s head. I folded my arm around her, braiding my fingers into her hair. They were so real, so warm against me. My crying had settled to just deep breathing, filling my lungs over and over again with the precious scent of my family.

         “Viktor,” I choked out. “Viktor…how…how did…?”

         “Aeva,” he sighed, walking over to take a seat in an arm chair across from us. He spoke too quickly for Aeva and Phoenix to hear. “She convinced me that ve should not vait and that Aro might listen to me if I came alone, as he values my skill. I did not know vhat his decision vould be; I thought perhaps he vould let you change her, like he let Edvard. But he saw Phoenix in my head and he decided he had to die. I tried…I tried to convince him that you didn’t vant that; I tried to bargain for him to go to Aeva’s family—tried for hours—but he said no. It vas good I vas alone; Aro vould have killed him immediately.  
“I asked him about Aeva and he said he vould not offer to have her changed. He claimed you were insolent in hiding her; he called for her execution as vell, to punish you. He vanted you end their lives personally, but I told him you vould not. I told him you vould lie again; you vould run. He left it to me and so here ve are.”

         “How did you fake it?” I asked, clutching Aeva tighter. I also went too quickly for her to hear, as I usually did to hide certain topics from Phoenix, but she understood that Viktor and were talking. “I smelled them on you,” I continued. “I smelled them on your breath.”

         “I had no plan vhen I vent back to her,” Viktor replied, nodding at Aeva. “I told her vhat Aro had said. She…she told me vhat to do. She told me I had to lie to _you_ , not Aro. You cannot be lied to, not directly. She thought that, because of your gift, perhaps if you believed it had happened it vould have been proof enough for the brothers. It vas her idea to involve and convince another vampire to ensure that you vould not detect the lie; I chose Peter and Charlotte, because I knew they could keep you in place and they have respect for the Volturi. I told them I vas going to kill your mate and they believed me; they do not know that she lives on.

         “Aeva cut her own arm and Phoenix’s as vell. She gave me a cup of their blood and I…I drank it. I scented myself vith them and returned to you. It vas all her idea. She told me not to speak to you unless I had to, so that ve vould not be given avay. You _had_ to believe they had died; it vas imperative.”

         “How did you know it would work? You couldn’t have known that Aro would accept my account as proof.”  
“I didn’t,” Viktor admitted. “I didn’t know if it vould vork or not, but it vas…it vas a better solution than any I had been able to come up vith. Aeva made a gamble; it vas her plan and her choice. Aro knows vhat Marcus felt vhen he lost Didyme; she thought he might believe it if you felt the same thing. I told her that if ve failed, you and I vould be put to death, and that then they vould come for her and Phoenix. She said that vas already the risk and told me to do it anyvay.”

         _I have done as instructed._

         Viktor had said that in the throne room; I hadn’t detected a lie because I didn’t know whose instructions he had followed. I had simply assumed it had been Aro’s—Aro had too—but I looked down to find my wife staring up at me with a fierce expression.

         “I do not like how much you share vith her,” Viktor said, sounding more thoughtful. “It makes me uncomfortable how much she knows about you and our kind. She got me to do the same; I told her too much. But she…she used her knowledge vell. She is a clever girl.”

         “She is,” I agreed, still stunned.

         “But ve are not in the clear,” he continued urgently. “Now, they do not suspect you, but if they learn of this lie, ve vill not survive. None of us.”

         “You bought us time,” I replied, realizing what he had meant before.

         “But I do not know how much.”

         “Enough to come up with a plan.”

         “I hope so. This new plan, though…it should include her thoughts. She is more valuable to us than ve knew.”

         I looked back at Aeva, nodding to let her know Viktor and I were done talking. She leaned up, pressing a slow kiss to my mouth. She had asked me so many questions over the years; she had delved into my past time and time again, pulling even the most uncomfortable bits of information out of me. I had no idea why she had wanted to know all of it. It had never occurred to me that she would use it to play such a dangerous game. Aeva, just a simple human, had outplayed one of the oldest vampires in existence by relying on my honesty and his arrogance. I had no question of her value.

         Viktor had told me, years before, not to underestimate her. I had been so convinced that it was up to me to protect her that I had never once considered that she might be able to defend herself; that _she_ might protect _me_. I had been surprised by Aeva many times, even awed by her, but I had never expected that I might need to be afraid of her as well. My defenseless little human was playing with more cards than anyone could have known and I had been one of them. Viktor was right: she was a clever girl. A _terrifyingly_ clever girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter inspired by GeezerWench's depiction in "I Live"


	9. Healed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aeva and Nathan come back to themselves

###  _Aeve_

                “What was Aro’s verdict?”

                “Execution,” he said, staring hard at the floor. “You and Phoenix must be executed. If I do that, Nataniel can stay vith me.”

                “If _you_ do it? You mean…you’re going to be the one that…”

                “It is vhat you vanted, no?” He snapped, raising his head. His red eyes looked angry. “You and Phoenix die together; Nataniel lives on.”

                “Viktor, wait, okay?” I put my hands up and started to back away. This was backfiring magnificently. “We can think a way around this!”

                “You can think a vay around it? The verdict vas clear.”

                “Viktor, stop. Just stop!” He was walking toward me. “Viktor wait, Nathan doesn’t know yet. Please, wait. Stop, Viktor! VIKTOR!”

                He had suddenly dropped to his knees, his fists clenched in his pristine hair. “I DON’T KNOW VHAT TO DO!” He roared.

                “Just stop,” I said, walking cautiously forward. “Just stop and think, Viktor. We can do this. I have an idea.”

                It had taken quite a while to calm him down, but I’d done it. More than that, _I’d done it_. I was holding my husband in my arms while my son dozed in his grandfather’s lap. I still had all of them—all three—because I had tricked Aro. The thought made me giddy.

                We were back in Nathan’s childhood home. They thought it would be best for us to stay here for a bit, because the Volturi would probably send someone to search our house; the older our scent was when they found it, the better. Viktor had taken Nathan back for a few moments to gather a few things for Phoenix and I. It was nice to be in fresh clothes and to have blankets from home to curl up in; Phoenix was glad to have some toys to play with.

                He was delighted to be spending time in “Papa’s house.” I had kept him from touching things in the Krakow house, so he had been easily tricked into thinking we were at the Toy Maker house the whole time; I was less proud of having tricked my son, but it needed to be done. As it was, we were all seated around the fire with Nathan and I on the small sofa and Viktor and Phoenix in a rocking chair. The peacefulness of this scene was jarring in comparison to what we had just faced.

                Nathan was sitting slightly turned so that my back was leaning against his chest with my legs spread out on the cushions. His arms were around me and our fingers were laced together. He kept smelling my hair and bending down to kiss my neck and shoulders; I knew he was using me to settle himself. Each time he did it, I would turn to kiss his temple or the side of his face. I was happy to take care of him like that, but I was waiting until Viktor took Phoenix to bed to speak to him. We had things to go over. It was roughly an hour more of us all sitting in companionable silence before Viktor stood up.

                “He has fallen asleep,” he announced, shifting Phee’s little body so he was easier to carry.

                “Come back down once he’s in bed,” I instructed. I caught the look that Viktor threw over my shoulder at Nathan, but I didn’t react to it. I was not generally in the habit of giving Vik instructions, but after what had just happened, he seemed willing to listen to me. I stood up out of Nathan’s embrace and took the now vacant rocking chair. When Viktor returned, he sat down on the sofa beside his son, both looking warily toward me as I folded my arms.

                “First of all,” I said. “You’re welcome.” Nathan cracked a smile, but Viktor did not. “Second of all, that never happens again.”

                “Ve cannot promise that,” Viktor said, voice grave. “Ve cannot control other covens. Ve can avoid contact vith them; that vould help.”

                “That’s not what I mean,” I said. “But I think you’re right. It would probably be best if we didn’t interact with other vampires. Or if, at the very least, we didn’t tell any other vampires about Phoenix and I.”

                “Vhich I said in the first place, just so that goes on record. As soon as Nataniel told me he vas going to propose, I told him not to tell any other vampires.”

                “Yes, thank you for that, Viktor,” Nathan grumbled. “You’re right; you did. We all know you were right. Can Aeva continue?”

                “Yes, I just vanted to clear that up.” Their tiny argument over, both men looked back at me.

                “What I meant was, from now on, no more plans get made about our family without me at the table _from the beginning_.” Viktor had opened his mouth, but my emphasis shut him up. “You two have old brains…no offense, honey.”

                Nathan gave me a dismissive hand gesture. “None taken. You’re not wrong.”

                “You two know a lot of things that I don’t know,” I continued, “but sometimes you’re so stuck on big details that you miss the little ones. Those are the things that I see really clearly. I can help with things like this; I just proved that.”

                “You did,” they said in unison. When Viktor said it, it sounded like he didn’t really want to admit it. When Nathan said it, he sounded very proud.

                “I want to be included from now on. We’re making choices about our lives; about _our_ son. I want to have a say before anything is decided.”

                “Yes, love,” Nathan said, nodding. I couldn’t quite puzzle out his tone; I hadn’t heard it before. It wasn’t necessarily apologetic and it wasn’t just agreement. There was something else in it that I couldn’t place, but Viktor’s sideways glance at his son told me I wasn’t making it up.

                “Nataniel?” He asked. Nathan looked at him, then at me, then at the ground. Viktor’s eyebrows rose and he looked me in the face. “Yes, Aeva,” he said, in that same odd inflection. “You vill be included from now on.”

                “Okay,” I said nodding. “Okay. And no more hiding things, Nathan; no more sugar coating. Viktor told me a lot of things that you’ve been skirting around.” Nathan’s look at his father was withering and Viktor leaned slightly away, but kept his eyes on me. “If it is going to affect us, I need to know about it. I’m too far in to get scared off now, so just tell me.”

                “Yes, love.”

                “And no more avoiding me, Viktor,” I continued. “You’re wrapped up in this mess, so I need to know you. Like, _really_ know you. I want us to trust each other and we don’t right now.”

                “Yes, Aeva.”

                “I’m out of demands now, but _what_ is this tone you’re both using right now? What is going on?”

                They both turned to look at each other; Nathan’s eyebrows were raised, but Viktor looked unamused. “Vhy don’t you tell her,” he said. “That vas your promise, no?” He looked back at me, inclined his head briefly, and vanished. Nathan turned his strange expression to me.

                “Where did he go?” I asked.

                “He’s outside running our perimeter.”

                “Oh. Good.”

                “Yes.”

                “Nathan?”

                “Yes?”

                “Tell me. Now.”

                He sighed and leaned forward, elbows on knees and face in his hands. “Um…alright. It’s a…well a vampire thing.”

                “I figured.”

                He peeked up at me from between his fingers. He looked very sweet and I smiled slightly; I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t see his mouth, but the way his eyes changed told me he was smiling too.

                “Is this one embarrassing for you to explain?”

                “No,” he laughed, dropping his hands. “Viktor and I just deferred to you. He’s not happy about it and I’ll have to deal with _that_ later.” I unfolded my arms and furrowed my eyebrows.

                “Should I be worried about that? That he’s not happy?”

                “No, he’ll be fine. I just…I’ve never deferred to anyone but him before and I think it surprised him. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him do it to anyone besides Aro.”

                “I’m not getting this, whatever you’re explaining.”

                “It, ah…it means we submitted to you voluntarily. You didn’t have to fight us to be in charge.”

                “And that made Viktor angry?”

                “Yes, please come back here,” he requested, sitting back against the sofa’s arm and patting his chest. I laughed and got up, climbing onto the couch so that I was in his lap, leaning sideways against his chest with my head on his shoulder. He kissed my forehead as he settled his arms around me, smelling my hair for good measure.

                “Settle down,” I chuckled, kissing his neck. He sighed happily, so I did it a few more times. “I’m alright, Nathan, really.”

                “I know, but I’m not,” he confessed, resting his cheek on my head. “Not yet.”

                “Take your time, I can stay close for a while.”

                “Please do.”

                “Now why exactly is Viktor angry that you deferred to me?”

                “Well, typically in a coven you only defer to the leader. In fact, it’s beyond the word ‘typical.’ It’s a rule. You only defer to the leader of your coven.”

                “So am I…the leader of our coven now?”

                He laughed and kissed my temple. “Humans do not have covens.”

                “Humans also don’t have mates.”

                “Do you remember when you wanted to fight Edward over me?”

                “Yes.”

                “Feeling that all the time is what being a mate feels like. Doing what I’m doing now; that’s what being a mate feels like.”

                “What are you doing?”

                “Taking you in,” he said, smiling and tightening his grip. “Your stunt—though brilliant and effective—put me through quite a bit. I…um…I need you in order to come back from that.”

                “What if you didn’t know me? What would help you come back?”

                “I wouldn’t be this far gone,” he laughed. “I can’t think of anything that could have hurt me like this before you came along. Not even losing Viktor.”

                I was knocked right out of my own line of questioning by that statement. “You’re… hurt?”

                “Yes,” he said, not seeming to notice the tone of horror in my voice. He just nuzzled into my hair and kept speaking. “It’s an odd sort of thing, but when a vampire is injured, putting their mate with them will help them heal faster. Keeping them apart slows them down a bit.”

                “Nathan, shut up about mates for a minute,” I said, lifting my head to look at him. “You’re _hurt_. I hurt you. I’m so sorry I didn’t think about this sooner. When you thought we’d died, that was a big emotion, wasn’t it? Big and fast.”

                He nodded and I set my hand against his face.

                “You need time. You need a _lot_ of time to come back, don’t you?”

                He gave me a sad sort of smile and nodded again. “But please don’t feel sorry for me. I still have you, Aeva. I still have you and Phoenix. I’ll be alright, I swear.”

                “Are you letting me be the boss just because you’re sad? Is that why you deferred or whatever?”

                His smile fell of his face and he set his jaw. “No,” he said, sounding very serious. “That’s not how this works. I deferred because you’re right and I agree with you; Viktor too.”

                “I don’t want to be the leader of the coven.”

                He laughed and leaned forward, briefly touching his lips to mine. “You’re not. It’s still Viktor. But on this issue, you won.”

                Viktor was the leader of the coven. For all their talk of covens, I hadn’t ever given any thought to how they actually worked, but Viktor was the leader of this one. Nathan said I wasn’t technically a member of the coven, but I was. I counted myself, at least. Viktor was our leader and I’d never noticed or perhaps never cared to notice. I was too busy being with Nathan and our son. I’d been thinking about it wrong because I had misunderstood the word. I had thought “coven” was just sort of what you called a group of vampires, like a gaggle of geese or a flock of sheep. If covens had specific leaders and specific rules for how they were treated, though, then coven was a more political term than I’d thought. Coven of vampires was more like a pride of lions of a pack of wolves: it implied a hierarchy.

                “Aeva, you can ask whatever you’re thinking,” Nathan murmured. “I just told you I would answer. I always do anyway, but I’ll answer in full. Any unpleasantness included if you’d prefer it.”

                “Viktor said that was your promise. Is deferring, like, binding?”

                “Like a magical vow or something?”

                “Yeah.”

                “No,” he laughed. “But there’s…honor attached to it, I suppose. Maybe a little more than other promises you make. You should keep your word, in general. You should definitely keep your word if you made a promise to the head of your coven.”

                “But I’m not the head.”

                “I know. It’s confusing, isn’t it? It’s because you’re a human. If you were a vampire, it would be simpler.”

                “So if I was a vampire, I would be the head?”

                “I am not answering that one,” he laughed. “Viktor is already angry, I don’t need to make it worse. But you could be; I doubt you’d follow my lead consistently and Viktor certainly doesn’t, so it wouldn’t be me. But as a vampire, you might respond to Viktor differently than you do as a human. You might like him more.”

                “You have to be a vampire to like Viktor?”

                “He’s easier to like when you’re not afraid of him.”

                I set my head back down against his shoulder and bit back my response. I wanted to say that I wasn’t afraid of Viktor, but I knew it wasn’t really true. I had certainly gotten used to him; I would even go as far as to say that I liked him. But I was still afraid of him. He was intimidating and imposing to look at, compounded by the fact that I knew what the red color of his eyes meant. Beyond his looks, he was generally stoic and bristly. I was able to forget that Nathan was a vampire all the time; I had never forgotten what Viktor was. Knowing that he had deferred to me made my pulse speed up; something much more significant had happened between us than I was able to understand. Perhaps I should be more worried that Viktor was upset, just like Nathan was.

                I puzzled over that for a while longer, head tucked in the crook of Nathan’s shoulder, one hand absentmindedly twirling his curls around my fingers. All of his hair was soft, but I swore the hair at the nape of his neck was the softest. I didn’t last long like that and dozed off after a few minutes. I woke up some time later—I had no idea how long, really—in the bed upstairs. Nathan was beside me under the blankets and my head was on his chest, his arm around me. I slid my arm all the way around his waist, hugging him a bit tighter, and felt nothing but his skin. The room was almost completely dark, having no windows at all, so the only light came from the crack under the door to the hall way. Even that was only enough to give me a silver outline on half his face, so I ran my hand down his side, over his hip to his thigh and it was all the inventory I needed: Nathan was naked.

                “What exactly are you up to?” I laughed, looking up at him. The silver line crinkled near his eye as he smiled.

                “Nothing,” he whispered. “Just felt right.”

                “It just felt right to strip down?”

                He nodded and traced his fingers down my spine. “I just needed to be close. It’s weird though, isn’t it? I can get dressed.”

                “No, no, by all means,” I said, sitting up. “Be naked. Here, I’ll join you.” I yanked my sleep shirt over my head and shimmied out of my shorts and underwear, dropping the lot off the side of the bed and pressing myself back against my husband. He pulled the blankets in close and wrapped his cold arms around me, kissing my forehead for good measure.

                “Is that better?” I asked. “Is it helping?”

                “Yes, it is,” he replied, nuzzling into my hair. “But I hope I’m not like this forever. It’s terrible.”

                “It’s terrible to lay like this?”

                “No, not _this_ ,” he chuckled, squeezing me a bit tighter. “We should do this all the time. I mean…feeling like this. I don’t like needing to touch you; I prefer _wanting_ to touch you, if that makes sense.”

                “What can I do to help? What makes vampires better when they’re hurt like this?”

                “I don’t know. I have no idea how this works; I only know slightly more than you do and that’s just because I feel it before I tell you. It’s just…unpleasant.”

                “Here,” I whispered, leaning up to press a kiss to his neck. I overshot a bit and it landed on his jaw, so I simply readjusted and kissed under his ear, along a tendon, right beside his Adams apple, and down to his collar bone. He played with my hair all the while, breathing deeply.

                “Will you…um…”

                “Will I what?” I asked.

                “Will you…rub my chest?”

                “Oh…yeah, of course.” I set my hand flat on his sternum and started rubbing slow circles. He took a deep breath that shook just a little bit and laid his head back on the pillows, guiding my head back down to him with his hand in my hair. I usually didn’t notice that Nathan had no heartbeat, but tonight I was very aware of how silent his body was. I laid in the hollow of his shoulder and smoothed patterns from one pectoral to the other, from his collar bone down to his diaphragm. His breathing was slow and steady but, after a few moments, he started to purr. He very rarely purred and I had only heard it this loud from him once before, at our wedding reception. It had sounded different then, though. He’d sounded content; now it sounded desperate and it broke my heart.

                I had been so focused on figuring out how to save our skins that I hadn’t given any thought to the consequences. Not the consequences like how Aro would murder us if he found out, but how my trick would affect Nathan. I needed to do a better job of remembering that Nathan was a vampire, not just for my health and well-being, but for his too. He had needed me to take care of him after he had that awful conversation with Edward Cullen. Now he needed me again and I made a silent promise to help him through this, whatever that meant for us.

                “I love you,” I murmured. “I’m here for you.”

                He breathed in like he was going to respond but a sob surprised us both. “I—I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t know what—“

                “It’s okay,” I soothed. “You’re okay. I love you; I’m here for you.” That became my mantra for the night. I whispered it to him over and over again while he purred, always on the verge of a whine. I didn’t know how I would ever be able to sleep while he was hurting like that, but it must have happened because I woke up a few hours later. We’d shifted positions while I was asleep. Now I was on my back with Nathan’s head on my chest; his body almost fully covered mine and his hands were under my shoulder blades. I had my arms around him, one hand on his back and the other holding his head under my chin. I clenched his hair in my fingers and kissed the top of his head.

                “Am I crushing you?” He asked.

                “No,” I laughed. “Are you holding yourself up?”

                “Yes.”

                I laughed again and gave his head another kiss. “Lay down. Be comfortable.” He lifted his head so he was looking at me. He’d lit an oil lamp at some point and the golden glow lit up his beautiful face. He had on his playful grin; he looked totally normal.

                “Ready?” He asked. I nodded and he dropped down fully, crushing the air out of my lungs.

                “Oh _god_ ,” I wheezed. “No, nope, lift yourself up again. I made a bad call.”

                He laughed in earnest, rolling over and hauling me with him. We were both cracking up when the door to our room creaked open.

                “What are you _doing_?” Phoenix asked from the hall, rubbing at his eye with a fist. We’d woken him up. “What’s so funny.”

                “Your dad smushed me,” I replied.

                “Are you still in bed?”

                “Yes.”

                “Can I come in?”

                I was about to ask him to wait a minute when I felt a gust of wind to my side, a slight jostle, and Nathan said, “Sure, little guy. Hands out, walk straight ahead.” Phoenix did as instructed and I looked down to find that I had my shirt and shorts back on and Nathan was wearing sweatpants. Phee reached us in just a few steps and his palms bumped into my side of the bed, so I bent down and scooped him, settling him in my lap and leaning back into the spot Nathan made for me by holding out his arm.

                “How was your night?” I asked him.

                “It was pretty good. Did you know there’s two beds in my room here?”

                “Yep,” Nathan replied. “I slept in one when I was little.”

                “Who slept in the other one?”

                “My sister.”

                “Maybe _my_ sister can sleep in it when I have one,” Phee said, happily tugging the quilt up to his chin while Nathan and I exchanged a look over his head.

                “Where are you getting a sister from?” I asked.

                “From you guys,” he laughed. “Chuy got a sister, Mercedes got a sister, you both got sisters. It’s my turn, right?”

                “No, sweet, that’s not quite how it works,” Nathan said gently. “It’s just going to be you and us. No sister.”

                “Oh.”

                He sounded so sad that Nathan and I looked at each other again. “What’s wrong, Phee?” I asked, bending down to kiss his cheek. He stuck a hand up behind his head to touch my face, checking the crease between my eyebrows.

                “Daddy said you were going go away,” he explained. “So if I have a sister, she can stay with me. Even a brother could.”

                I looked at Nathan and his expression was wary. I wasn’t exactly sure what my face looked like in that moment, but I wasn’t happy. What had he told Phoenix in our day apart? I mean, certainly, that’s what we’d been facing and it was good that Nathan had apparently tried to explain, but I wasn’t sure I liked how he’d gone about it.

                “Phoenix, honey,” I murmured, hugging him close. “We’re going to stay with you for as long as we can, okay?”

                “And what about if you have to leave me?”

                “You’ll stay with your abuela,” Nathan said, taking Phee’s free hand in his own. “Or your tío or tía.”

                “Yeah, and you can live with Chuy and Lupe, or with Sadie and Lola.”

                “But I don’t want to live with them. I don’t even _like_ them, I just like you guys.”

                “You do too like them,” I laughed. “You just fight with them sometimes. You’d do the same thing with a sister.”

                “No I wouldn’t. I would like her way better than mis primos. But it doesn’t matter!” He got onto his knees and crawled into Nathan’s lap. “You two are staying with me, so I’ll just hang out with you until I die.”

                I thought Nathan had seemed fine, but he sobbed when Phoenix said that, clapping a hand over his mouth and turning his head away from us.

                “Woah,” Phoenix gasped, spinning around to put both hands on Nathan’s chest. “Daddy, are you okay? Are you crying?”

                “Yeah, honey, I am,” he replied, still not facing us. He was trying to regain his composure and I thought maybe I should pick Phoenix up and take him downstairs; it would give Nathan a little privacy. He’d also told me being near me made him feel better though, so perhaps Phoenix would help too.

                “Give your dad a hug,” I said. “He needs it.”

                “Okay!” Phoenix dutifully grabbed as much of Nathan as he could—which wasn’t all that much—and squeezed with all his might. Nathan laughed in the middle of crying and turned back, putting a hand on our son’s back and kissing his head.

                “Thank you,” he said, voice still a little shaky. “It’s just what I need.”

                “Don’t worry, Daddy, I’ve got you.” Phee hugged even tighter and Nathan tried to steady his breathing. I reached up and stroked his cheek and he threw me an apologetic look.

                “Phee, daddy’s still feeling pretty sad after he got scared yesterday,” I said. “You and I have to take really good care of him, alright?”

                “Okay, we will.”

                I did my best to keep that promise and reminded Phoenix to do the same when he got difficult. He was such a good kid; he just wanted Nathan to feel better. We both did. We stayed in the Toy Maker’s house for two weeks before Viktor checked out the house on the cliff and deemed it safe for us to return to. After this whole ordeal, I wanted to go and see my family, but that would be too much stress for Nathan. He needed us to stay put and be with him, so we did.

                He was always right beside one of us; he stopped taking time alone to be in the library and read or to spend the whole day cooking something needlessly elaborate. Our meals were simple and often cooked while Phoenix, me, Viktor or all three of us sat at the breakfast bar to keep him company. If he was alone with Phee, they played or worked on their newest project: learning braille. I would find them sitting in the bean bags or on the living room floor with books splayed over their legs and fingers on pages. Phoenix refused to learn the alphabet at a faster rate than one letter at a time, so Nathan would show him a character, teach him the sounds, and then wait while Phoenix found every instance of it in all of the twelve braille books Viktor had brought us. After a week, they had only gotten to K, but Nathan didn’t seem to mind.

                If Phoenix was tired of learning to read and tired of Nathan hovering, he would send him away and he would come into my studio. Generally, I liked to work alone, but I understood when Nathan came in. Before, if he was ever in my studio, he would stand a good distance away and just watch me sketch or paint or whatever I was up to. Now, he would stand right behind me and run his hands through my hair or sit down so he could lean against my stool and rest his head against my leg. I couldn’t work with him like that, and not because I was annoyed with his presence, but because I was distracted. I barely got anything done and it generally devolved into us sitting together on the floor or going out onto the deck. I just spent time being close to him and I certainly didn’t mind that. I hadn’t ever given any thought to what it would be like to love someone who had been traumatized; I had certainly never thought about the guilt that came with knowing it was your fault.

                One day, after about three months being back in our house, I turned around at the sound of my studio door opening to see Viktor. He’d never come in before, but there was no sense of urgency about him; he was just looking around, examining things as he found them. He’d been doing his best to spend more time with me, but we were both still a little uncomfortable about it. I turned my back to him and returned to my sketch. I was working on a drawing of a little girl holding an armful of flowers; I hoped to paint it soon, but I couldn’t get her proportions quite right. Viktor was rustling things near the door, so I figured he was paging through sketches back there and examining the photos I had pinned up on a cork board.

                “What are the boys up to?” I asked over my shoulder.

                “Nataniel is making lunch and Phoenix is reading one of his new books.” They’d finished the alphabet and Phoenix had been doing very well. Viktor and Nathan had taken up the project of slowly but surely double stocking the library with versions of books written in braille. Many of them were beyond Phee’s reading ability, but they wanted to be ready for him when he got there.

                “What have you been doing all day?” I asked, glancing at my father in law.

                “I have been patrolling the area. I ran an errand for the Volturi yesterday.”

                “Where did you go?”

                “I took Felix and Demetri to North Dakota. There is a rogue new born they need to dispose of.”

                “You’ve been spending a lot of time away. Nathan could use you here, you know.”

                “I am not helpful to him,” he replied, coming up behind me to see what I was working on. “He needs his mate and time, and he has both. How has he been doing, by the vay?”

                “He’s evening out,” I sighed. “He doesn’t cry out of nowhere anymore. But he’s still not totally himself.”

                “He is doing vell though,” Viktor nodded. “Ve put him through a lot.”

                “He needs to go hunting today. He doesn’t go at night anymore.”

                “Vhy not?”

                “He prefers to stay in bed.”

                “He needs his mate,” Viktor repeated, nodding again. “This is good. He vill recover qvickly that vay.”

                “Is it really that big of a thing for him to be close to me?”

                “Mates heal mates. It is a vell known phenomenon, if not vell understood.”

                “If I’m here healing Nathan, what are you doing for the coven?”

                He glared at me out of the corner of his eyes; he didn’t like that I’d started using that word. “I have been rebuilding our reputation.”

                He’d been spending more time working for the Volturi than usual; if they ever asked him for a favor, he had to tell them it was no problem and take care of it. It made Nathan and I worry about his safety. I knew that Nathan and I would get murdered at some point and that was a grim reality, but I was scared that Viktor would be taken out without any warning. I didn’t like when he was out of my sight for too long.

                “Viktor,” I said, looking over at him. He raised an eyebrow. “Have you ever considered…staying with us. Like, actually staying here. We have that room made up for you.”

                “I…had not considered staying _in_ this house. I have been staying nearby.”

                “You can be here with us.”

                “I vill…give it thought.”

                “Thank you.”

                He always seemed so surprised every time Nathan or I told him we wanted him around. I had conflicted emotions about that. On one hand, I was a little smug every time I managed to surprise Viktor. On the other hand, it made me sad to know that he just assumed people would rather have him stay away. Maybe he assumed that about us; in all fairness, that had been Nathan’s preference for a long time. I didn’t know quite what it was, but after this whole mess, I wanted my family close to me. Maybe it was knowing that my time with them was limited, I just didn’t know by how much. I wanted to be with them so badly, even with Viktor, but I was focused on Nathan.

                “Lunch is ready!” He called from the kitchen. I stood up and Viktor slid out of my way to let me pass, choosing to examine my sketch for a little while longer. As I walked toward the table, my phone went off. Lidia was calling me.

                “Liddy!” I shouted as soon as I answered. “How are you, hermanita?”

                “I’m good!” She laughed. “I just have a lot of free time today, so I’ve been calling everyone.”

                “Who have you talked to so far?”

                “Mamá and the viejos first—“

                “Obviously.”

                “—and then Manuel, and then Frida.”

                “So I’m last?”

                “No! I haven’t called Miguel or tío yet.”

                “Mommy!” Phoenix called from his seat. “I want to talk to tía Liddy.”

                “You can when you’re done eating,” I whispered. It was so wonderful to hear my little sister’s voice. She was having a wonderful time at school and she had so much to say about it. Nathan smiled from across the table, clearly able to hear everything she was telling me. She told me all about her classes and her roommate and a guy she’d been having coffee with and a girl she’d been getting bagels with. She’d gotten into ceramics, but she wasn’t very good. She’d also gone to a few dance classes, which she also wasn’t very good at. She was an officer in the student association, though, and it turned out she was very good at that. She’d also ended up getting invited to be part of some bizarre research project where she was archiving newspapers from the early 1900s; whatever they were doing sounded dead boring to me, but she loved it and clearly thought it was worth her spending her summer on campus.

                “Lidia, you’re a genius, I swear!”

                “Oh, shut up.”

                “When will I get to see you again? Can we come and visit? Are you going to come home?”

                “I’ll be home for Christmas break.”

                “Not before then? Liddy, it’s May! Your first year isn’t even over yet and you just know for a fact that you won’t be home until Christmas? What about Thanksgiving?”

                “I’ll probably work over that break.”

                “Why? What do you need the money for? You know you don’t need money, right?”

                “My RA said going home too often makes people homesick.”

                “I don’t think she meant don’t ever go home.”

                “It’s not like I’m _never_ coming home, I just—“

                “Whatever, Liddy!” I said, cutting her off. “It doesn’t matter, we’re going to come visit you.”

                “Really?” She sounded so excited. “You _and_ Nathan?”

                “Yes, I’ll bring him too. We’ll work out a day later; talk to your nephew.” I handed the phone to Phoenix, who had been patiently waiting ever since he cleared his plate, and he immediately started jabbering. He and Lidia always had so much to talk about; I hoped he’d grow up and be a book worm like she was. I ate my dinner quickly so I could help Nathan with the dishes. He washed and I dried while Phoenix told his tía about what braille feels like.

                “Can we visit her soon?” Nathan asked. He was smiling; he adored my family, but he was extra soft on Liddy.

                “We can go and take her to dinner this weekend,” I replied. “We’ll go for a longer visit once her schedule evens out over the summer.”

                “Do you want to go see your mother too?”

                “Oh, no, that’s fine,” I said, drying a glass. Nathan’s hands stopped moving and I looked up to see his expression had turned stern.

                “It’s not fine,” he said. “You want to see your family. You’ve wanted to go to Maria’s house ever since we came back here.”

                Damn his truth seeing trick! I sighed and turned back to the dishes. “Yes,” I admitted, “I _have_ wanted to go see them, but I also know they’re alright! They haven’t called any more than usual; they’re not demanding we show up. So I know they’re okay and they aren’t worried about us, so I’m okay waiting. Besides, even though I want to see them, I wanted you to have time to get better. I was more worried about you than them; I specifically didn’t ask about going over there because I didn’t want to add any stress to you.”

                “Aeva…” His voice was soft and his movements were slow, like he was trying to be gentle with the butter knife in his hands. “You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to…you could have gone without me, I mean. I don’t want you to feel like—“

                “It’s too late,” I said, cutting him off and bumping his elbow with mine. “I already picked you over them; it’s already done. My loyalties are already proven!” He laughed and turned to look at me again; I was so glad to see he was coming back to himself. That night was the first night in weeks that he was feeling up to sex again; I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed him.

                Liddy also proved to be an excellent baby step toward him getting back into my mess of a family. He was a bit more reserved than usual, which I explained away to her by saying that Viktor’s father had recently passed and Nathan was coping with losing a grandparent. Liddy was phenomenally sympathetic and offered him a book on the science of grief. This amused me to no end because I knew he would read it and give her his thoughts when he was done even though he wasn’t grieving at all.

                Nathan was doing so well and I was getting a much better understanding of just how long it took vampires to heal; he said having me around and seeing how quickly I’d bounced back was helping. Phoenix was also helping him a massive amount as he was practically bouncing off the walls all summer waiting for the big day: on September 5th he would start kindergarten at the school for the blind. We enrolled him in summer activities to get him used to having a schedule. He didn’t see his music or swimming lessons as scheduled events so much as twice weekly adventures. He was going to enjoy school so much and, on the big day, I ugly cried.

                “ _Mom_ ,” he hissed. “Mom, get off.”

                I was crushing him in a hug and getting the shoulder of his new shirt wet. Nathan had a hand over his mouth, dutifully trying his best not to laugh at me.

                “Don’t you call me mom just to seem cool in front of the other kids,” I snapped, squeezing him tighter. He’d never called me mom; only mommy.

                “Okay, okay!” He wheezed. “Mommy, let me go. You’re smushing my whole life out; I’m gonna barf.”

                That made me laugh and I loosened my grip a little. “Sorry, cariño,” I said, wiping my eyes. “I just love you. I love you so much I want to eat you.”

                “Well don’t do that! I have to go to school.”

                “I won’t! And you’re right, you need to go to class. Sorry I cried all over you. Maybe if we have you stand behind an airplane jet, it’ll blow enough air to dry you off before anyone notices.”

                “Yeah, or Miguelito’s leaf blower.”

                Nathan and I both laughed at that; Miguel had spent almost an entire afternoon on the 4th of July blasting all the little ones with a leaf blower and it had us all cracking up. Phoenix was very good at cheering people up.

                “Don’t worry, mommy,” he continued, using my proper title. “It’s okay if you cry on my clothes. The other kids won’t see it anyway.”

                “Phoenix!” Nathan scolded, his smile incredulous. “No blind jokes. Not until you get a feel for your class.”

                “Okay, I’ll zip it. Can I go?”

                “Can I get another hug?” I asked.

                “Only if you don’t squash me again.”

                “Deal.”

                I gave him another hug, using appropriate pressure this time, and kissed his cheek. When I let him go, Nathan scooped him up. His arms were so long and Phoenix was still so little that he almost covered our little guy up completely.

                “Have a good day,” he whispered. “I love you.”

                “I love you too! Take care of mommy until I’m done, okay? Then I’ll help. I think she’s broken.”

                “She’s not broken, but I’ll look out for her,” he agreed, setting Phee back down. Nathan helped him get his cane out and I fixed his hair as best I could. A teacher made her way over to us once he saw that we were ready.

                “Alright, mom and dad, time to say goodbye!” He tapped Phee’s shoulder to let him know he was there. “Can I take your hand and show you the way to the door?”

                “Sure!” Phee stuck his hand out and the teacher grasped it gently, starting to lead him away. I listened to them talk as they went.

                “What’s your name?” The teacher asked.

                “I’m Phoenix Jaime Evanov-Wulff. Who are you?”

                “I’m Gaten Brian Jefferson. You can call me Mr. Jeff.”

                “It’s nice to meet you Mr. Jeff.”

                “It’s nice to meet you too, Phoenix. Or do you prefer Jaime?”

                “No, I’m Phoenix.”

                After that, they were too far away for me to hear, so I wrapped my arms around Nathan’s middle. “Mr. Jeff has him now,” I murmured, my face buried in his shirt. He laughed and kissed the top of my head.

                “Mr. Jeff is going to take excellent care of him.”

                “I know.”

                “You did very well,” he praised, lifting my face so I was looking at him. “You didn’t even suggest that we wait another year or anything.”

                “I know. I handled that with poise and elegance, I think.”

                “I agree,” he laughed. “Would you like a tissue to clean the mascara off your face?”

                I thought I would absolutely hate having Phoenix away at school, but those mornings left Nathan and I alone in our house together. It was just like when we had our little house, only I wasn’t pregnant this time; it was just like our honeymoon. I loved having Nathan to myself like that. Between my mornings with him and spending all afternoon fawning over Phoenix because I _still_ couldn’t help but miss him everyday, I was getting lazy about using my studio. I didn’t start making it a part of my weekly schedule until the middle of October, and that just got interrupted by Halloween. Phoenix would switch to full days of class in the coming year and I was seriously considering enrolling in classes myself. Nathan was very excited about this idea and had taken to handing me university brochures at dinner. Even Viktor was getting in on it and would look them over with me; he had finally had to admit I was a pretty good artist.

                We were just doing so well again. After the chaos Edward Cullen had caused, we were back to doing well. Nathan was almost fully himself again, Viktor had returned to his usual level of involvement with the Volturi, Phoenix was a tiny genius, and Lidia was coming home for Christmas. Viktor had decided not to come to my mother’s house with us, but he promised he would come by for a private celebration. Nathan and I had picked out a beautiful silver watch for him that I hoped he would like. As it was, we had to drive down to Allentown in an hour or two and I had just gotten out of the shower. I could hear Nathan down stairs, going over all the things Liddy had told us in her most recent phone call. My guess was that Viktor was either showing polite interest, or was engrossed in whatever Phee was up to and was actively ignoring his own son. Phoenix, of course, would have already heard everything Nathan was saying and was almost guaranteed to be ignoring him. Nathan was still talking, though.

                My boys made me smile.

                I dried off, dressed, and put on a little makeup. I had just finished with my eyeliner before I fished around for the box of tampons I’d thrown under the sink. I needed to stop chucking things in there; it always just made them harder to find when I actually wanted them. After a few moments of digging, though, I had located my prize and plopped down on the toilet to put one in. It had been exactly 26 days since my last period ended, so the panty liner I’d put on last night should have a few spots by now. When I glanced down at it I was surprised to see it was totally clean. It was odd, but not alarming; maybe I just hadn’t walked around enough that morning. I pulled my jeans back up and stuck the tampon in my pocket, not wanting to wear one if I didn’t need it yet. I would probably need it at Mamá’s anyway.

                I jogged down stairs to find the shoes I wanted waiting for me at the bottom. I laughed and sat down to put them on.

                “She’s ready!” Nathan announced. “Let’s go, boys!”

                Viktor helped Phoenix put on his coat and boots and Nathan loaded our gifts into the car while I did up my laces. When I was finished, Viktor handed me my coat as well and tapped his lips to my forehead.

                “Merry Christmas,” he said.

                “Merry Christmas.”

                He lifted Phee up and handed him over before walking up the stairs. I thought he might vanish, but it seemed he wanted to spend some time in the study upstairs. He had finally begun making that room his own. I helped settle Phoenix in his car seat and we made our way to my mother’s house. When we got there, the entire first floor smelled like tamales.

                “You started without me!” I shouted, rushing into the kitchen and hugging Mamá from behind.

                “Hija, you took too long,” she laughed. “We needed to get these done. Now wash your hands and help your sisters.” I put my coat away, cleaned my hands, and jumped in line between Frida and Lidia. I loved Christmas at this house.

                While I cooked, Nathan got mobbed by children. He didn’t even have time to greet everyone before Phoenix and Chuy were both riding on his legs and Lupe jumped at him from the sofa. He shifted her onto his back so that he could pick up Baby Lola who wasn’t a baby anymore; she was definitely three years old. Mercedes hung back a bit, but was clearly waiting her turn for Nathan’s attention. Everyone in the living room seemed happy to have the kids occupied.

                When it was time for dinner, we all crammed around the table in our mismatched chairs. With all the little ones, there were too many people for us to fit, so Phoenix and Lola sat in Nathan’s lap. Lupe had graduated to her very own chair, but she kept sliding out of it under the table, but Frida could catch her without looking. Nathan had always been a phenomenal father to Phee, but I was falling in love all over again watching him take care of our son and Lola at the same time.

                Lola had turned out to be even more of a firecracker than her sister Mercedes, and her attitude was almost exactly opposite to Phoenix’s. He was all sugar; she was a habanero. Phee liked her immensely, though, and they were obviously one another’s favorite cousins.

                “Here, try this,” Lola said, lifting a fork full of beans to Nathan’s mouth.

                “No, you try it.”

                “But I want to share.”

                “That’s very nice of you.”

                “My daddy doesn’t eat,” Phoenix said. “Unless you trick him.”

                Lola responded immediately to this challenge and, although Nathan got both kids to clear their plates, he did end up eating two or three mouthfuls as well. As a pair, Lola and Phee were very tricky and Nathan was an absolute sucker for them.

                After dinner, we exchanged gifts. Abuela had crocheted scarves for everyone, although she apologized for buying ones from the store for the kids; she had simply run out of time. Doña Luisa had knitted Nathan a spectacularly intricate sweater out of beautiful blue yarn. It was exactly his size and her stitches were perfect. The rest of us got oversized store-bought pullovers from her. She hadn’t run out of time at all, she just liked Nathan best. The ornaments that Mercedes, Chuy, and Lupe had made for everyone at school were hopelessly unattractive, but I loved them and vowed to stick them on our tree as soon as we got home. Nathan and I were stationed on the floor with Phoenix in his lap and Lola in mine. Holly was pregnant yet again, so she was excused from being crawled on. Manuel was simply exhausted, so they were both always grateful to us for keeping their little miscreant busy.

                “Hop up, sweet,” Nathan whispered to Phee after a few hours. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

                “Oh, okay,” he said, scooting forward so he was sitting on the floor. I knew Nathan didn’t need to pee, but he probably did need to throw up the food the kids had given him. Lola was napping against my shoulder or I knew she would have tried to follow him. He kissed my temple as he got up and quietly left the room. He was only gone for about five minutes when I heard Mamá shouting at him.

                “Hijo, what’s wrong?”

                “Nothing, Maria, I’m okay.”

                “I just heard you throw up. Hijo, are you sick?”

                “No, no…”

                “I heard it too,” Abuela said. Apparently they had him cornered in the hallway. “You don’t have to play strong; you’re sick.”

                “No, my stomach just—“

                “You look pale,” Mamá declared. “And your face is clammy.”

                “He’s always pale!” Miguel shouted. Mamá and Abuela hustled Nathan back into the living room, taking turns putting the backs of their hands against his forehead. They wouldn’t stop fretting and the more worked up they got, the more they convinced everyone else that something was wrong with Nathan.

                “Hija,” Mamá said, throwing me a pleading look. “Get him home and put him to bed. He’s not doing well.”

                I decided not to fight with them on it; if they thought Nathan was sick, then I would play along. “Okay, Mamá,” I replied, getting to my feet. “I’ll call you tomorrow to let you know how he’s doing.”

                We started getting our coats and gifts together and kissing everyone goodbye. Luisa said a rosary for her favorite family member and we all rolled our eyes in unison.

                “This is ridiculous,” Nathan whispered, tying his new scarf around his neck. “I’m not sick.”

                “Oh, yes you are. We’re not about to tell them why you actually threw up, now let’s get going,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. “Just let me go to the bathroom first. I’ll meet you at the car.”

                “I’ll put Phoenix in his car seat.”

                He walked out the front door and I jogged toward the bathroom, tugging my stashed tampon out of my pocket as I went. It had been nagging me the entire time we’d been here. Surely, I’d started by now. I went in to the little room with the tacky vine wallpaper and the olive green bathtub straight from the seventies and sat down. I _still_ hadn’t started my period. I had never been late before except for one major, life changing event that was currently being strapped into the back seat of my car. But that couldn’t be the case again; Nathan had told me on multiple occasions that he couldn’t reproduce anymore. _Not like that_ , he’d said. He could make another vampire, but he couldn’t make a baby.

                I didn’t even know if this was standard. I’d never really bothered to speak to Frida or Lidia about their menstrual cycles. There was never really any reason to bring it up, but I was regretting that now. I wondered if your cycle could just fall out of whack as you got older. I knew stress could mess it up, but I hadn’t been stressed recently. As I pulled up my pants and washed my hands, I reminded myself that I was overreacting. I was only a day late, and not even a full day. I needed to calm down. Besides, I had a “sick” husband to tend to.


	10. Paternal (pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Various fathers do various fatherly things.

###  _Nathan_

            Aeva was tense on our drive back from her mother’s house. I sighed, feeling like it was my fault. She had been so excited to see her whole family and she’d been having such a nice time. I should have been more careful when I’d vomited; as soon as Maria had heard that, it had been all over. If we were going to need to leave because of me, I figured it would have been because I couldn’t control my emotional responses. I had been getting better over the past months, but I was still struggling a little. I had thought it might not be so bad, since I only believed Aeva and Phoenix were dead for a short while, but it had been long enough to do me in. _That_ was my serious ailment, but I’d been sent home for a normal bodily function.

            “I’m sorry,” I murmured, reaching over to take her hand. She grasped my fingers before she reacted to my words.

            “You’re sorry?” She said. “Sorry for what?”

            “I made us leave.”

            “Oh, Nathan, no,” she laughed, lifting my hand to kiss my fingers. “Don’t be sorry. Mamá just worries. I thought it was funny.”

            She was telling the truth, but she still seemed bothered. “What’s wrong, love?”

            “It’s…it’s probably not actually an issue.” She was being evasive and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “It’s just that my, uh, period is late.”

            “By a day.” I knew her cycle too. “Is that bad?”

            “I don’t know; I don’t _think_ so. I know I’ve read that stress can throw your cycle out of whack and after…you know…last March, I mean. Maybe that’s it.”

            “But your last period was on time, right?”

            “Yeah, but like you said, I’m just a day late.”

            “Should we do something? Do you need to go to a doctor?”

            “No, not after just a day. I’m not…I can’t be pregnant, right?”

            “No,” I reassured her. “I can’t do that.”

            “That’s what I thought. Yeah.” She held my hand in both of hers and chewed the inside of her lip. “I shouldn’t be this worried about it. I still am though.”

            “What makes you nervous?”

            “The last time I was late I had Phoenix.”

            “I understand how that could make you worry,” I said, checking on our sleeping son in the rearview. “But that’s not what this is. It can’t be.”

            “I know,” she said, nodding. “I know. It’s just weird.”

            “I threw up at your mom’s house,” I laughed, now taking my turn to kiss her hand. “It can’t be weirder than that.”

            She smiled and we drove the rest of the way back without talking much, but she kept my hand in hers. When we pulled into the garage, Phoenix was still asleep. Christmas had worn him out entirely. I figured we would have to put off our little celebration with Viktor until tomorrow morning. I started to undo his buckles when Aeva hurried around to my side of the car.

            “Can I take him upstairs?” She asked.

            “Sure.” I stepped out of the way and let her gather him up. While she went inside, I pulled the box of gifts we’d brought back with us out of the car and carried it into our living room. We’d rearranged a bit to accommodate a tree which I was looking forward to taking down as Phoenix kept walking into it. Viktor was standing alone in the dark in the kitchen, which was dramatic even for him.

            “What’s wrong with you?” I asked.

            “Ve have to go to a trial.”

            “What?”

            “You and I,” he replied, glowering at me from where he was leaning, “must stand vitness in a trial.”

            “Viktor, what happened?”

            He shook his head and I growled. He looked up over my head in the direction of Phoenix’s room and I went quiet. I wasn’t worried my snarl would wake my son, but I understood that Viktor was going to wait until Aeva returned to say anything more. She came out of Phee’s room a few minutes later and I flipped on the lights, choosing to stand near my father. Aeva figured out that something was wrong as she came down the stairs and hurried to my side, jaw set.

            “What?” She demanded. “What’s going on?”

            Viktor was clearly irritated as he began to explain. “I vas called to go to the Volturi. They have asked that Nataniel and I stand vitness in a trial of a coven.”

            “What does that mean?” Aeva said, looking between my father and I. “Like, you need to speak on a witness stand?”

            “No, the Volturi doesn’t hold trails like a judicial court,” I replied. “We literally have to stand witness; we are being asked to watch it happen. The Volturi only ask for witnesses if they’re certain they’re right and they want to intimidate their opposition.”

            “Such is the case,” Viktor nodded. “A coven had been accused of creating an immortal child.”

            “So they want to eradicate all of them.”

            “Precisely.”

            “Do you _have_ to go?” Aeva asked. “Do either of you?”

            “Ve are not in a place to be saying no.”

            “I can’t go,” I said, shaking my head.

            “This is not an invitation to a party,” Viktor laughed. It almost sounded like a bark. “This is a draft.”

            “I can’t be close to Aro.”

            “And I can?”

            “I don’t want to leave Aeva and Phoenix unprotected.”

            Aeva stepped forward and gripped my hand protectively. “I don’t want him going,” she said firmly. “He’s still coming back from the last time he saw the Volturi.”

            “So you vant to send me alone?” He balked. “And say vhat vhen I get there?”

            “That I won’t stand up; that I’m catatonic,” I laughed. He snarled, but didn’t reply because he knew I was right. If my mate truly had been killed, I wouldn’t be in a place to go to that trial. He was just afraid.

            “Viktor,” Aeva said. Her voice was very gentle; she’d picked up on Viktor’s fear as well. “Do you think you’ll have to touch Aro while you’re there?”

            “No.”

            “Where will the trial be?”

            “In Vashington.”

            “Will you have to be close to the guard?”

            “No. No, I can stay avay. I vould just need to be there.”

            “Then go,” she said, setting her hand on his arm. “You’re right; you can’t ignore their request. Go, but keep your distance and come back as soon as you can. They’ll understand that you want to come back to Nathan.”

            He nodded, taking a breath. It used to make me uncomfortable when the pair of them worked together; now I felt sort of proud. I was proud of my mate for soothing our coven head; I was proud of my wife for taking care of my father.

            “When do you go?” I asked.

            “New Year’s Eve,” he replied. Aeva and I exchanged a look. It was Christmas day; Viktor only had six days before he left.

            “Will you stay close?” I asked.

            “I…can.” He knew that I enjoyed his company more than I used to, but I rarely expressed it so clearly. “I am not…I am not comfortable staying in this house at night, but I can spend my days here.” I understood that. Being a red-eyed vampire, Viktor attracted unnecessary attention if he went out too much during the day. Also, not being married to a human, he had no reason to pretend to sleep.

            He left that night to hunt and, in the morning, he celebrated Christmas with us. He put his watch on as soon as he got it and gave me a set of silk pocket squares and Aeva a set of hand-dyed scarves. For Phoenix, he got a large set of match box cars, which he liked very much because he could feel all the tiny features. We also had to call Aeva’s mother and assure her I was not dying of some sort of plague; Viktor found this intensely amusing and so his first day with us passed uneventfully. The second day was less tranquil.

            Phoenix was napping and Viktor, having been closed in a house for too long, had chosen to walk through the woods. That left Aeva and I alone for a bit, which we never minded. I decided to do something special for her, so I made her a crème brulee.

            “How is it?” I asked, watching her crack through the perfectly golden brown top. She scooped up a good portion and put it in her mouth, exaggerating her facial expression as she rolled it around in her mouth.

            “It’s…good,” she replied, swallowing. “It’s not the _best_ I’ve ever had, but it is certainly up there.”

            “What? When have you had better?” I laughed, reaching forward to take it from her. She snatched it off the counter and held it protectively out of my grasp, eating another large spoonful.

            “I had better,” she said, mouth still full. “When you made it for me last time.”

            I pursed my lips and took an exaggerated breath through my nose, ready to retort, when I caught a faint scent. I paused and listened and registered, just at the very edge of my hearing, the sound of running. Instantly, I was on high alert. I stuck my arms out and beckoned once for Aeva; she didn’t hesitate for even a moment and instantly threw the dish down, leapt out of her seat, and stepped into my embrace, allowing me to carry her to her studio.

            “What’s going on?” She asked once I’d set her down.

            “Stay in here,” I commanded. “There are vampires around. They’re close enough that I can smell them, but just barely. The wind turned this way.”

            “What about Phoenix?”

            “Don’t go to him; you’ll make both your scents stronger. Open a few bottles of paint thinner and set them in the living room; it’ll mask the smell a bit.”

            “Okay,” she said, nodding. She moved toward her chemical cabinet but I caught her arm, jerking her back and giving her a quick, rough kiss. When I pulled away, her jaw was set.

            “You come back.”

            “Yes ma’am.”

            I left without another word and she went for the cabinet again.

            “Viktor!” I called, streaking through the front door and into the woods. He appeared by my side in an instant, falling into a run beside me.

            “Vhat?” He demanded, responding to my demeanor.

            “I smell vampires.” He pulled in a whiff of the air and nodded. The scent had been faint before, but it was getting stronger very quickly. They were heading right at us, but they were on the other side of the lake. Viktor and I charged at them, tracking their movement through the trees. We could tell exactly when they heard us, because they skidded to a stop; they were either submitting or getting ready to fight. Viktor and I were ready for a brawl when we burst into a small clearing to find Carlisle and Esme Cullen standing there, hands up in surrender.

            “Nathan!” Carlisle called. “Viktor! I’m sorry we’ve alarmed you.”

            “What are you doing here?” I asked, still wary. The doctor never arrived unannounced and he almost never travelled with his mate, yet here they both were in the woods outside my house. Viktor had moved so he was a few yards to my right; Esme and Carlisle stood close together. We were positioned so that the pair of mates would have to defend themselves should we need to fight. They had an escape route, though; if we’d had a third vampire in our coven, we could have blocked that as well. As it was, I was grateful to have my father there. His red eyes were closely trained on Esme’s movements. He and I could manage fine with just the pair of us, as we always had. He’d chosen his target; he was leaving the doctor to me.

            “We are seeking out our friends,” Carlisle said, hands still up. “That’s all. Edward and Bella need help.”

            “Help with what?” I asked. Esme turned to look at her husband and I saw Viktor shift slightly.

            “They just need open minded allies to hear their story.”

            “Vhy do they not travel to tell their story themselves?” Viktor said. When the attention shifted to him, I trained my eyes on Carlisle’s throat. We were taking no chances, not even with friends.

            “They have matters to attend to at home,” Carlisle responded. His tone was friendly, but he was being cryptic. Everything he was doing was out of character and it had me on edge. “We just ask that, if you are willing, you go and see them. Hear what they have to say. Stand beside them.”

            “Stand beside them against who?” I asked. Carlisle and Esme exchanged a look before he responded. I didn’t like that Esme wouldn’t speak.

            “Against the Volturi.”

            Now it was Viktor and I’s turn to share a look. What had the Cullens possibly done to force them to stand against the Volturi? Such an event was usually only reserved for intervening with wild newborns. Was Bella not adjusting well to her change, then? Viktor seemed to be thinking differently.

            “I have been asked to complete a similar task on behalf of the Italians,” he said, a deep scowl across his face. “I am to stand vitness against a coven that is harboring an immortal child. The vampire that came forward is vone you know vell. Irina, correct?”

            “Irina doesn’t know _what_ she saw,” Esme snapped, finally speaking up. Carlisle grasped her hand, but did not quiet her. “Edward and Bella married when she was a human, she’s been changed now. Irinia saw them interacting with something she does not understand. Go to Edward and Bella; let _them_ explain it to you.”

            “You know I vill not stand in opposition to the Volturi,” Viktor replied, his tone unchanged. “The worst I’ll do is decline their reqvest. If Edvard and Bella are innocent of the claim, as you seem eager to prove, I vill see it regardless of vhat side I stand on.”

            Carlisle snarled in irritation. “Viktor, if you were there with us, it might give them pause. And Nathan, it would mean the world to Edward—“

            “It is not my job to _give them pause_ ,” he snapped, cutting the doctor off. “And my son is in no state to be caring for your boy.”

            “What’s wrong?” Esme asked, turning to me with wide eyes. She was ever the mother to me. I set my jaw and looked to Viktor.

            “His mate is dead,” he said, perhaps more loudly than required. His lie ran through my mind, but I ignored it.

            Esme gasped and put her hand over her mouth. “Aeva…Aeva is…”

            “And Phoenix,” I added. Carlisle looked paler, if that were possible. He turned his eyes down and took a breath through his nose, clearly trying to come up with a sympathetic response, but he caught their scent on me. His eyes narrowed when he looked back at me.

            “They’re dead, Carlisle,” I said, taking one step toward him. He backed up automatically, pulling Esme slightly behind himself. “That is what you know. They’re both dead. There’s no need to talk about it when you leave, but that is what you’ll _think_ about when you return home.”

            Esme didn’t seem to catch what I meant, but her husband certainly did. Viktor growled at him to get his attention. “They died because Edvard vas careless about vhat thoughts he shared with Aro. You vill be careful vith your thoughts around your son _and_ our old friend, hm?”

            Carlisle stared at us both for a long time and it was clear from his face he was thinking out what he ought to do. I was sorry for him that Bella and Edward seemed to be in peril, but if they _were_ harboring an immortal child, whatever came to them was earned. I couldn’t imagine Edward turning a child, but if his mate had done it, I didn’t know that he’d be able to take it away from her. He would have known enough to ask for help to get rid of it though, not to protect or explain it. Either way, I wouldn’t be in attendance at whatever show down the Cullens had arranged with the Volturi.

            “Go now,” Viktor said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “I vill be there to vitness on behalf of the Volturi. You understand my obligations. I vill offer honest testimony to vhat I see.”

            “That is all we could ask of you,” the doctor said, inclining his head slightly. “We’ll be on our way.”

            “Give my son’s home a vide berth. If you can smell him, you are too close.”

            “Of course.”

           Viktor and I stood motionless as the doctor and his mate backed away. Once they were behind the treeline, they broke into a run and hurried away. Viktor and I exchanged a look.

            “Did you know?” I asked. “Did you know it was Edward?”

            “I did not,” he said, and he was being honest. “I knew there had been newborns in their area. I assumed it vas related to that. I never suspected the Cullens.”

            “An _immortal child_ ,” I hissed. “Carlisle knows better. He would never let any of his children have one.”

            “I vould have thought the same. Irina is from a coven in Alaska; she and her sisters are close vith Carlisle’s family. She vould not betray him lightly.”

            “Aeva should know about this.”

           He nodded and we made our way back to the house. Phoenix was still asleep; I could hear him breathing. I couldn’t really smell him or Aeva though and as I investigated, I found out why. Aeva had poured pure bleach into a bowl and set it outside of Phee’s door. She’d done the same to our bedroom and she had set out paint thinner beside her studio door like I had told her to. The chemicals were so overpowering, they distracted from their scent enough to make me question if a live human was there, or if one had simply spent time there. I cleaned up her clever tricks before I opened her studio door.

            “Aeva,” I called. “It’s me; it’s alright.” She stood up, having hidden in the cabinet under her slop sink and came to greet me. She put an arm around my waist and I kissed her hair.

            “Who was it?”

            “It vas Carlilse and his mate, Esme,” Viktor said, coming up behind me. “The Cullens are the coven in the trial that I am to stand vitness for.”

            “The Cullens?” She seemed appropriately horrified. “I…I mean, it’s a good thing we decided to keep away from them, if they’re getting in trouble with the Volturi.”

            “It does make our plan more dangerous, though,” Viktor said darkly. “Now I must not only avoid contact vith Aro, but I cannot think of Aeva or Phoenix in Edvard’s presence.”

            “Can you do that?” I had my doubts, but Viktor could stay focused enough on the trial to do it. He seemed to agree, because he nodded. I didn’t like that we each had to take turns being so brave; I didn’t like that, yet again, Viktor had to play our pivotal role. I especially didn’t like that Edward Cullen would be our biggest obstacle for a second time. He wasn’t a bad person, but he had certainly become one of the biggest antagonists for our family. I looked down at the evil eyes painted all over my wedding band and prayed they might offer us some kind of protection.

           The rest of the week was slow and lazy. Phoenix didn’t have school and was very excited to find that Papa Viktor would be staying with us during his winter break. He was so proud to sit in his grandfather’s lap and read aloud to him; Viktor just had to hold the book steady so he could run his hands over the pages. He was the only kindergartener in his class that could already read braille; most of them couldn’t read at all and the others could only identify raised letters.

           When Phoenix went to bed at night, Viktor would leave to go wherever he pleased, and Aeva and I had each other. The tension of our current situation was immense; it resulted in us going after each other every night. Almost as soon as I told her Phoenix had fallen asleep, she would tug my shirt off over my head. It was all I could do to keep up with her. It was a span of time that was both wonderful and terrible for all the peaceful days, lustful nights, and underlying anxiety through it all. On the night of the 30th, Viktor and I decided I needed to break my routine and hunt. If he and I needed to grab our family and run again, I would need to be at peak strength. Viktor decided to hunt again as well, even though it had been less than a week. He told me he’d be in Latvia, but that I could call if I needed him.

           I took longer than usual hunting, choosing to gorge myself. I’d left after Aeva had fallen asleep; I’d started hunting at night again and so I’d been able to return to my usual routine. When I was finished I ran back to the house but, as I came through the woods, I could feel something wasn’t right. Phoenix was wailing and behind him, I could make out softer sobs: Aeva was crying.

            “Ow, mommy,” Phee moaned. Aeva was trying to stifle sobs as she soothed him. I ripped my phone out of my pocket, dialed my father’s number and spoke before he could greet me.

            “Home,” I growled. “Now.” I broke into a sprint. I was into the house in less than a second and I was totally unprepared for the scent. Vomit, feces, blood, sweat, and…ginger? Perplexed but nonetheless panicked, I ran up the stairs. Phoenix’s light was on and the bed was covered in excrement. The bathroom light was on as well and the toilet was in no better shape than Phee’s bed. There was vomit in the trash can, the sink, and the bathtub and filthy clothes were strewn on the floor. There was also blood on the corner of the counter; I recognized the scent as Aeva’s.

            “Ow, Mommy,” I heard Phoenix moan. Then he coughed, wet and thick. “Ow,” he repeated.

            “I know, honey,” Aeva sobbed gently. “Shh, baby, shh. Here you go, drink a little of this.”

           I walked into our room, where their voices were coming from, and found them in the bathroom. Phoenix was nude, sitting in the shower. His eyes were red rimmed from crying and he was shaking, though he had no goose bumps. Aeva was kneeling beside him in an oversized sweatshirt, rubbing the shower head across his back while cold water ran. She was dabbing at his face with a cool wash cloth and crying softly while he took small sips of ginger ale. Her nose was very red and there was blood crusted around her nostrils.

            “Nataniel!” I heard Viktor yell.

            “Upstairs,” I called back. “Careful, there’s b—,” I glanced at Phee and caught myself. “There’s a mess.” Viktor made his way slowly up the stairs and I heard him stop breathing when he recognized the scent of blood. Or perhaps it was the stench of everything else; it was rather over whelming.

            “Vhat’s happened?” He asked, entering our bedroom.

            “Phee’s sick,” Aeva replied thickly. “He woke up with diarrhea and then he started throwing up.”

            “Mommy did too,” he laughed weakly before dissolving into a coughing fit.

            “I couldn’t help it,” she said, smiling a little. “I found him after he’d had an accident in his bed and I ran him to the bathroom. He made it to the toilet for the second round, but I couldn’t hold it together and I threw up in the sink. I took his clothes off because they were nasty and then _he_ started throwing up, so I handed him the garbage can. I thought I was empty, but I wasn’t so I dove for the tub to puke. I bashed my nose on the counter on the way and got a wicked nosebleed too. We stayed in there for a good hour until we were both all emptied out and then we came in here to get cleaned up. He’s got a fever, so I’m running cool water on him. It’s been nothing but coughs and dry heaves for the past twenty minutes.”

            “Oh, I thought, um,” I said awkwardly. “I heard the crying and thought, well…I called Viktor.”

            “Hi, Papa,” Phoenix croaked.

            “Hello, little vone,” he replied sympathetically, coming to the doorway of the bathroom. “Here, Aeva, I’ll hold him. You can take him out and get cleaned up.”

            “Really?” She said, sounding grateful. Viktor nodded and held out his arms.

            “Nathan, can you hand me a towel and your tee shirt?” She asked. I obliged and she dried Phee gently and then slipped my shirt over his head before picking him up and handing him to Viktor. He motioned for the cup of soda and took that as well before he carried Phoenix into our bedroom, humming gently. Aeva ran the water in the sink and splashed some on her face and neck, wiping at the blood on her nose.

            “Don’t you want to shower?” I asked her, offering her a hand towel. She dabbed at her face and shook her head.

            “No, I’ll just get all nasty again when I clean up his sheets and the bathroom,” she sighed.

            “I can get it,” I replied, pulling her to me. “You should go back to bed.”

            “I know, but I can’t sleep knowing how awful he feels,” she whispered, voice still a little shaky. “I just feel so helpless.”

            “I know,” I murmured into her hair. “I know. Now please, just get ready for bed. I’ll clean everything up and you and Phee can sleep in our bed. I’ll get in too to keep him cool.” She sniffed and nodded and I kissed her head. Her phone started ringing on her nightstand in the other room, but she ignored it, choosing to just lean against me for a moment. It stopped after a while, but we exchanged a look when mine started up.

            “Answer it,” she said, moving to sit on the counter top. I took it out of my pocket and held it to my ear.

            “Hello?”

            “Oh thank god!” It was Frida. “I need help. Oh my god, it smells so bad.”

            “What’s happening?”

           Aeva’s eyebrows furrowed and I shrugged.

            “Nathan, she’s puking. She has been for like, an hour.”

            “Who’s puking?”

            “Mija,” she sighed. “My little Lupe. She’s dying over here: vomiting, diarrhea, fever, cough, you name it. I’m just waiting for the tetanus and the gangrene.”

            “Phoenix is sick like that, too.”

            “He is? That’s great news!”

            “Why is that great?”

            “If Lupe stays here, she’s going to get Chuy and Lidia sick; she might even get the viejos sick. I was going to send her to Holly and Manuel, but they’ve got Mercedes and Lola in their little house. I thought, since you two have that big house…but you’re so far away…I don’t know what I thought, I just…”

            “We’ll take her,” I said, cutting her off.

            “Hermano, you don’t have to—“

            “We’ll take her,” I repeated. “Viktor is actually in the Allentown area. I’ll have him pick Lupe up and bring her here.”

            “Really?”

            “Absolutely. Try and get her to fall asleep; Viktor will be there in thirty minutes or so.”

            “Ay, hermano, thank you so much. I feel so bad pawning her off; she’s so miserable. But Chuy and the others…”

            “Frida, it’s okay,” I said. “We’re happy to help. Let me call Viktor.”

            “Gracias, Nathan. And I swear, it’s just for tonight.”

            “No, she can stay longer,” I protested. “Let her stay with us until the worst is over. I mean, Phee’s got whatever it is too. They can keep each other company.”

            “Thank you guys so much,” she gushed, sounding close to tears. “Hey, nena,” she said, clearly addressing Lupe. She must have been with her the entire time. “You’re going to go stay with Tía Aeva and Tío Nathan, okay? You’ll stay there until you feel better, okay?”

            “Okay, mamá,” the little girl sniffed.

            “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “Okay, I’ll wait for Viktor,” she said, speaking to me again. “Thank you. Thank you a thousand times.”

            “Absolutely. You’re welcome.”

           I hung up and Aeva raised her eyebrows.

            “Lupe is sick like Phee,” I explained. “It sounds like they have the same thing. I’m going to send Viktor to pick her up so we can look after her here with the little guy.”

            “I am getting a chore?” Viktor asked from the bedroom. I led Aeva out and we saw him sitting on our bed with Phoenix laying across his lap. Phee squirmed a little and he shifted him delicately, resting my son’s head in the crook of his arm.

            “You’ll just have to wait for a moment and show up at Aeva’s mother’s house to collect Lupe,” I explained. “Ideally, she’ll be asleep, so we can say you drove her here while she was sleeping.”

            “And if she’s not asleep?” Aeva asked.

            “Children are easy to lie to,” Viktor shrugged. “And most adults don’t believe them vhen they tell stories.”

            “Go shower, love,” I said, pressing a kiss to Aeva’s forehead. “You’ll feel better when you’re clean and Phoenix is alright for now.”

            “You’re sure you’re okay cleaning up?”

            “I’m sure. Go on.”  
I watched her walk back into the bathroom and close the door. As she ran the water, I cleaned the mess. I went as fast as I possibly could. The crinkly plastic cover we kept on Phee’s bed had turned out to be a good investment after all. I took the soiled sheets and clothes downstairs and threw it out, deciding to replace the items later, before going back to our bedroom. Aeva was still in the shower, so I set about putting fresh bedding in Phee’s room and scrubbing down his bathroom. Everything was in order by the time Aeva shut the water off.

            “He is still asleep,” Viktor informed me, nodding at the little boy in his arms when I walked back into the room. “He is very varm.”

            “Aeva said he had a fever,” I sighed, crouching down so my face was level with my son’s. After four years, his hair had started to wave like Aeva’s. It didn’t lie down flat, but it looked vaguely tidier than it had when he was a baby. He’d turn five in just a couple weeks…hopefully. I ran my hand over his head and he shivered.

            “He’s cold,” I said, darting to his room and returning with a blanket. “He needs this.”

            “He is not cold,” Viktor laughed. “He’s burning my skin. He should strip down.”

            “It’s a fever,” I reminded him. “Human bodies superheat to kill off viruses. He needs to stay warm until it breaks.” Viktor still seemed skeptical, but he let me wrap the blanket around Phee. He woke up as I bundled him and latched his arms around my neck. I stood up straight and let him stay with me.

           When Aeva walked out, she was back in her shorts and sweatshirt, dabbing at her wet hair with a towel like she always did. “Everything still okay?” She asked.

            “He’s sleeping again,” I said, resting my head on our son’s.

            “Should I go and get the other vone now?” Viktor asked.

            “Yeah, go ahead. Can you take the car and Lupe at the same time?”

            “I believe so,” he said, nodding. “You and I have stolen a car like that twice. I see no reason it should not work with a child.”

            “Good,” I nodded. “Good. Yeah, go ahead and get her. Make it look inconspicuous, you know the drill.”

            “I do know.”

           He vanished and I turned back toward Aeva who was staring at me with her eyebrows up and an incredulous grin.

            “What?” I asked.

            “You and Viktor,” she laughed, “stole cars? Did you two run a chop shop or something?”

            “No, we just needed them,” I huffed, rolling my eyes. I couldn’t keep a straight face, though, and ended up grinning back at her. “A vampire chop shop, are you kidding me?”

            “I think you’d run a _great_ chop shop,” she called, walking back into the bathroom to hang her towel. “You two are sneaky. You’d just need a mechanic.”

            “Isn’t Miguel a mechanic?”

            “He is, but he’s not a vampire.”

            “Oh, right, right. Darn.” She came back into the bedroom smiling, but she looked exhausted. I wanted her to go the bed right away, but she would stay up until Lupe arrived. Phoenix was asleep, but just barely; he was so miserable.

            “I’m going to get buckets,” Aeva sighed. “We’ll keep them by the bed for emergencies.”

            “Good plan.”

            She left the room and padded down the stairs in bare feet. I could hear her rummaging in the garage as our car pulled back up. Lupe was already here and her heart was beating very fast; all of Phoenix’s cousins were terrified of Viktor. I jostled Phee slightly to wake him.

            “Hey, little guy,” I murmured.

            “Hey, big guy.” His voice sounded thick and I guessed that his throat was hurting him.

            “Lupe is here,” I said. “She’s sick too. She’s going to stay with us while you both get better.”

            “Lupe!” His celebration was small and squeaky, but genuine. He loved all of his cousins, but he had his favorites. Baby Lola was at the top of his list, but Lupe was a close second. The three of them would grow up to be Three Stooges; Manuel called them the Tres Caballeros. I just called them trouble, but being together would certainly lift their spirits. I just prayed Lola didn’t also end up sick. Not even Aeva, Viktor, and I could handle all three of them in the same house on our own.

            Viktor came into the room then, arms outstretched. “Give him here,” he demanded, though he had a smirk on. “I heard him talking. I want to talk to him.” Phoenix and I both laughed and I handed my son over. Viktor resumed his place on the edge of the bed and he asked Phoenix how he was doing. In three hundred years I’d never been able to soften him up; Phee had turned him into putty and he wasn’t even 5.

            I threw them one last smile over my shoulder before I went to find Aeva and Lupe. They were standing in the kitchen, Lupe balanced on Aeva’s hip and her head resting on her aunt’s shoulder.

            “Then I threw up all over Mamá’s car,” she sighed.

            Aeva was fighting a laugh. “Oh, nena, I’m so sorry. How did your mom take it?”

            “She threw up too, but she’s not even sick.”

            Aeva and Frida were definitely sisters; no doubt about that. Lupe smiled at me when she saw me walking down the stairs.

            “Tío Nathan!” She chirped.

            “Qué tal, Lupe? Are you still feeling sick?” I asked, stroking her burning forehead. Her fever hadn’t broken either then.

            “My stomach still hurts,” she replied. “But I don’t…uh oh.” Aeva ran across the room to the bathroom, making it there with just a few impressively long steps, and got Lupe on the toilet just in time. Unfortunately, there was no time to get her pants down and she began to cry again.

            “I’ll go start the shower,” I whispered before heading back into our room. Viktor was sitting on the edge of the bed, talking about pianos with Phoenix. He nodded at me and I went back to Aeva. She had Lupe standing nude from the waist down, wiping her legs off with toilet paper.

            “How’s Phee doing?” She asked.

            “He’s fine,” I said. “Viktor’s got him.” Lupe’s eyes went wide.

            “Your dad’s still here?” She whispered.

            “Yes,” I laughed. “He staying here.”

            “Woah.”

            Aeva was smiling as she carried Lupe upstairs and into our bathroom to wash her off. She helped Lupe strip the rest of her clothes off and handed them to me. I figured the shirt could be washed, but the pants downstairs were being added to the “replace this” pile. I pulled a soft tee shirt out of my dresser, underwear out of Phoenix’s, and waited with a towel while Aeva helped her niece shower.

            “Can you wash my hair?” Lupe asked.

            “Is it dirty?”

            “No, I just like it.”

            “Oh, sure,” Aeva laughed, reaching up for her shampoo. She lathered and rinsed Lupe’s short, dark hair. Lupe used to have it long, like Mercedes, but she’d gotten gum in it, so now she had a bob. As such, her wash was pretty quick and Aeva turned the water off, helping her wring it out a bit.

            “Here, love,” I said, handing over the towel.

            “Thank you.” Lupe stood with her arms jutted out to either side and watched with mild interest as Aeva dried her off. “Tío Nathan has clothes for you, okay?”

           Lupe nodded and walked over to me where I had crouched down. She dressed herself, using my shoulder for support when she lost her balance, and then I scooped her up. I remembered the first time I had met her she’d had a pacifier in her mouth. She wasn’t even two feet tall then, and not quite two years old either. When Aeva had been pregnant, Lupe used to straddle her belly when she got carried around. Lupe was freshly seven years old now and probably too big to be carried, but Aeva and I couldn’t resist. Just like all the niños, she was small for her age.

            “Where am I sleeping tonight?” She asked, lifting her head.

            “You’re going to split the big bed with Aeva, Phoenix, and I.” She gave me a huge smile, showing her missing front teeth.

           Viktor stood up as we all came back into the bedroom and he handed Phoenix to Aeva. “He’s very vorried,” he said, smiling slightly. “He thinks he might vomit his stomach out. I explained to him vhy that cannot happen.”

            “It was real gross, mommy.”

            “I bet,” she laughed, taking him to her side of the bed. “Now get in there and get situated.” I set Lupe down and told her to do the same before noticing that Viktor wanted me to follow him onto the landing. I got Aeva’s attention and we both went after him.

            “It is late. I must go,” he murmured, keeping his voice low. “I must finish hunting and then I vill follow the Volturi to Vashington. Call me and let me know if Phoenix feels better tomorrow.”

            “We will,” Aeva said, stepping forward and hugging him around his waist. He and I were both shocked, but he stroked her hair and kissed the crown of her head. I knew what he was walking into, so once she released him I took him in my arms. He hugged me back firmly and I knew he was still scared.

            “Come back,” I whispered. “However you have to.” He nodded and vanished, leaving my arms wrapped around air. I sighed and let them fall to my sides and Aeva took my hand.

            “He’s going to be alright,” she assured me. “He’s Viktor. He’s too smart to get caught.” I tried to smile, but I couldn’t quite get it, so she reached up and pulled me down to her by my neck. Her kiss was slow and firm and I needed it so badly. Just a few years ago, I would have been almost happy to see Viktor alone and panicking, but now I wanted him with us. Everything felt like it was upside down; only Aeva held me steady.

            “Come on,” she said, pulling away. She smiled and her black eyes shined. “We have two barf bags waiting for us. Two bucks says one of them wrecks our bedspread.”

            “Five bucks says it’s the one sleeping closest to you.”

           She laughed and led me back into our room. Lupe and Phoenix head their heads very close together and they were whispering.

            “Hey, none of that,” I scolded. “No mischief until you’re healthy.”

            “Yep, or you’re both sleeping in the garage,” Aeva agreed. This made the pair of them laugh and they both sat up so we could all arrange ourselves in the bed. Lupe crawled to Aeva and snuggled in to her side, laying close to Phee. Phoenix laid with his back flat against my side and his forehead resting on Lupe’s shoulder. I stretched an arm across the pillows, above their heads, and stroked Aeva’s cheek. The kids were out in seconds and it was just me, her, and their breathing.

            “Happy new year,” I whispered.

            “Happy new year.”

           She kissed my fingers and then closed her eyes. She was asleep in just a few minutes and I smiled into the dark. I knew Viktor was in a dangerous place, but Aeva was right: he was too smart to get caught. He would come back, I was sure of it. And, in the meantime, I had a bed full of humans to take care of. Phoenix rolled over in his sleep, latching on to me. His head was resting on my shoulder, right where Aeva liked to lay hers. His little pouf of dark hair was a mess, and he had bags under his eyes, but he was still marvelous. Absolutely everything about him amazed me. What I wanted right then was for him to feel better. I looked over at Aeva, protectively curled around her niece and Lupe with both hands clutching Aeva’s sweat shirt. These two little juvenile delinquents would pull through. Viktor would come home. Aeva would smile at me when she woke up.

           I kissed my son’s head and waited till morning.


	11. Paternal (pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One father gets to do a new fatherly thing.

###  _Nathan_

            While they were sleeping, the kids’ fevers broke. Their bodies had been superheating all night which, oddly, hadn’t bothered Aeva. Once their fevers were gone, though, their bodies could properly process how warm they were under the blankets and they shifted around in their sleep. The new arrangement had Lupe and Phoenix sleeping directly on top of me and Aeva still holding my hand. Phoenix stretched and slid off of my chest, sleeping through the whole graceless process. He did, however, manage to jostle his cousin awake. She seemed disoriented and she stared at Aeva in confusion for a long time. Slowly, she began to remember where she was and why she’d come here and turned her head to look up at me. I smiled back.

            “How do you feel?” I asked.

            “A little better,” she sniffed, ending with a cough.

            “Do you want to get up yet?”

            “No. Can I just stay here?”

            “Of course,” I laughed. “Are you hungry?”

            “You’re gonna make me breakfast?”

            “Of course,” I repeated. “Do you want anything special?”

            “What does he have?” Lupe asked, looking at Phoenix.

            “He likes scrambled eggs with cheese and peppers,” I smiled. “And a big glass of orange juice and little glass of chocolate milk.”

            “That sounds good,” Lupe giggled. “What else can I have?”

            “You can have cereal; I’ll go get whatever kind you want if we don’t already have it,” I sighed, putting a hand behind my head. “You can have an omelet, pancakes, waffles, muffins, oatmeal, sausage, bacon, cinnamon rolls, um…biscuits and gravy. I don’t know, can you think of anything else?”

            “Can…can I have all of it?”

            “Why don’t you just pick one for today,” I laughed. “You can have something else tomorrow.”

            “Am I staying over again?”

            “If you’d like. You can stay here until you’re feeling better,” I said, checking her forehead. He fever was gone, but she’d still need a day or two. Stomach bugs were nasty business. “I’m going to get up and make some food,” I told her, carefully starting to get out of bed. “You can stay here with Aeva and Phoenix though.”

            “No! I want to come with you.”

            “Alright, but shh, they’re still sleeping.” She nodded very seriously and waited until I was standing. Then I picked her up, set her on my hip, and started rolling down the blankets so there was just a sheet left over Aeva and Phee. Aeva stirred slightly and her hand found Phoenix’s arm. She grabbed hold of it and pulled it to her chest, dragging him across the bed. He _still_ didn’t wake up, even as she latched onto him with both arms and hugged him to her. I covered my mouth to keep from laughing and carried Lupe out of the room and down to the kitchen. Once she was stationed at a barstool with a glass of juice, I started getting out pots and pans. I had decided on making scrambled eggs, pancakes, and sausage. Lupe approved this decision, provided chocolate chips went in her pancakes.

            She was fun to talk to while I cooked. Although she and Phoenix got along famously, she was very different from him. I loved Phoenix more than I could describe, but it was so interesting to spend time with a child that wasn’t him. They looked similar enough to be siblings, but their looks made them seem more similar than they were. They were both very inquisitive, but in different directions. Phoenix asked questions as they came to him, whenever they came to him. As such, you never knew quite what he would ask or exactly how he jumped from one topic to the next. Lupe, on the other hand, asked you everything about a topic all at once. She sat across the counter from me and learned everything I could possibly tell her about eggs: What are they? What is the shell made of? Why isn’t there a chick in all of them? Why do birds even lay eggs? What is the yolk made of? What is the white made of? Why don’t we eat the shell? How does egg dye work? Why do we have eggs at Easter? Why are eggs just a breakfast food? Why do you put eggs in cake? Why can’t you taste the eggs in cookies?

            I had to stop and look a few things up for her, which she was immensely pleased about. I even played her videos of birds hatching. When she found out that snakes and alligators _also_ laid eggs, this opened up an entirely new line of questioning.

            “Okay, okay, but wait,” she said, elbows leaning on the counter and her hands gripping her head. Her mind appeared to be getting metaphorically _and_ physically blown. “Crocodiles look like dinosaurs.”

            “They do,” I agreed.

            “So…were dinosaur eggs squishy?”

            “I don’t know; I’ve never seen a dinosaur egg.”

            “But what about _Jurassic Park_? There’s fossils.”

            “I think only the hard egg shells turned into fossils,” I replied, turning the sausages as the crackled in the pan. “So we know there were hard shell dinosaur eggs. There could have been soft ones too, but we don’t know about them, because the soft shells get eaten.”

            “Fish lay eggs.”

            “They do.”

            “Do _all_ fish lay eggs?”

            “No. Sharks don’t.”

            “Do whales?”

            “Whales don’t either, but they’re not really fish. Whales and dolphins breathe air; they’re mammals.”

            “ _What_ is a mammal?”

            I laughed and ran a hand through my hair, trying to figure out how best to explain this to a seven-year-old. “Well, a mammal…um…” I was interrupted from noise upstairs. There were running footsteps, the sound of the toilet lid being thrown open, and someone clearly vomiting. The footsteps were too heavy to have been Phee.

            “Aeva? Love, are you alright?”

            I heard the tiniest, “No.”

            “Should I come up?”

            “Please don’t come up here; oh, god, please go anywhere else.”

            I was already walking up the stairs as she said that. “What do you mean go anywhere else?” I asked, going into our room.

            “I cannot have a fucking Greek god watch me vomit.”

            “Ooh, mommy said a bad word,” Phoenix giggled. He was still laying in the bed, so I snatched him up and blew a raspberry in his cheek.

            “Morning, Daddy,” he laughed.

            “Good morning, sweet.” I carried him across the room and pushed the bathroom door open. Aeva was sitting in front of the toilet, head resting on her arms. She looked miserable.

            “Mommy, did we get you sick?” Phee asked.

            “Yes,” she groaned. “But it’s okay. I just…ugh.” She threw up once more and flushed it away.

            “Can I get you anything?” I asked, leaning against the door frame.

            “Yeah, you can get _out_. I told you, I don’t want you watching me puke.”

            “In sickness and in health,” I teased, walking even closer and putting a hand on the back of her neck. “Besides, you’ve seen me do it. This is only fair.” She didn’t want me around, but I could tell my cold skin was making her feel better. We stayed like that for a little while longer before she pushed herself back onto her feet.

            “Okay, it’s passed,” she sighed, reaching for her tooth brush. “I hope that’s it. I’ll be down in a minute. Breakfast smells really good.”

            “Thank you, I worked hard on it. Phoenix, are you hungry?”

            “Yes! But I want to wait with Mommy.”

            “Very well,” I said, setting him down. I helped him find Aeva’s hip with his hand so he knew where she was and she put her free hand on his head. I kissed her forehead, which made her smile around her toothbrush. “I’m going to go back down to Lupe. I have to tell her what a mammal is.”

            Aeva laughed and I kissed her again before going back to the kitchen. Lupe had waited very patiently for me, but was ready for another pancake. I did my best with describing mammals, but ultimately just got her a children’s science book out of the library. She was reading it over when Aeva and Phoenix walked down stairs. Aeva helped Phee onto a bar stool and I fixed him a plate. I was going to get one ready for her too, but she didn’t sit down.

            “Come here,” she instructed, slipping between me and the counter top so she could wrap her arms around my waist. “I’m sick, you’re supposed to be taking care of me.”

            “You told me to go away.”

            “But I want you now. Please take care of me.”

            “I made you a meal. That is taking care of you.”

            “I haven’t eaten it yet. It still doesn’t count.”

            I laughed and set my arms around her, walking us backward until I was leaning on the counter against the wall and she stretched up to kiss me. I braided the fingers of my right hand into her hair to hold her there and wrapped my left arm around her, lifting her onto her tiptoes. She smiled against my mouth, her arms shifting to hang around my neck and one of her hands lazily playing with my hair. Kisses like this one were reserved for peacetimes and we hadn’t had one since Viktor’s summons. He still hadn’t returned yet and we didn’t know if we were safe, but perhaps Aeva’s intuition knew something good was coming. Either way, I had my wife in my arms and I was content with that.

            “Ew, _gross_!” Lupe shouted, theatrically slapping a hand over her eyes.

            “They do that all the time,” Phoenix said, shrugging. He had never seen us kiss, but he probably knew the sound. Aeva pulled away from me laughing and fell back to the flats of her feet, choosing to put her arms back around my waist and lean against me.

            “Is that better, Guadalupe Anita?”

            “Yeah, that’s fine, just no more kissing! You’re going to make me throw up _again_.”

            Frida’s little ones were squeamish; Phoenix never had been though. Even when he touched something gross, he’d always been fine. I wondered if Lupe and Chuy would be more like him if Aeva and I had raised them.

            My thoughts were interrupted when Aeva’s phone rang. Panic ran ice cold through my chest and she tensed in my arms. We were thinking the same thing: this was news from Viktor. When she looked at the screen, we both let out a sigh of relief. It was just Frida checking in.

            “Hola, Frida,” Aeva said, smiling and resting her forehead against my chest. We were working hard not to show our stress to the kids and it was difficult since now we had one in the house that could see. It was exhausting to her, but she was doing so well.

            I could hear Frida on the other end of the line saying, “Hermanita, thank you so much for taking her. I don’t think I could have handled it if her _and_ Chuy were sick like that and they were both—oh my god, you _just_ did that, didn’t you? You just had Lupe and Phoenix exploding out of both ends. Hermana, I’m so sorry. I feel like a terrible mom and now I feel like a terrible sister!”

            “You’re not a terrible sister,” Aeva laughed. “Or a terrible mom. Nathan and I did fine with the pair of them and they emptied out pretty fast. You were right to send them over here, anyway. I got whatever they had and threw up a little while ago. You and Mamá and the viejos probably would have gotten sick.”

            “Did Nathan get it too?”

            “No, he escaped the plague.”

            “He got sick at Christmas though. Maybe this bug is just doing the rounds.”

            “Probably. Qué tal?”

            “Bien. We did sparklers for New Year’s. Los abuelos were really cute with them; they went through a whole box together. Tío and Miguelito were too mature for them, obviously.”

            “ _Miguel_ was too mature for something?”

            “He bought firecrackers.”

            “That sounds about right,” she laughed, turning and walking to the breakfast bar. “Frida, wanna talk to your hija?” Aeva used more Spanish when she spoke to her family.

            “Yes! Let me hear her wonderful, nagging little voice!”

            “Here,” Aeva said, handing her phone to her niece. “Es tú mamá.”

            Lupe smiled and snatched the phone up, slamming it her face and proclaiming, “Mamá, get me out of here. Do you know what they’ve been doing? _Kissing_. Right in the kitchen. Phoenix says they do it all the time. I can’t live like this.”

            Lupe loved us, but she had her limits. She also seemed to be getting back to herself, which I was glad to see. We set her and Phoenix up on the living room couch and put in a movie. Phoenix only liked movies if someone would describe what was happening; Lupe insisted on talking through films and so they were a perfect match. Lupe talked to her mom through the previews and ended her call once things got started. I didn’t think either of them would last long and they didn’t: they were both asleep after about half an hour.

            Aeva and I did our best to occupy our time, but it was miserable waiting for Viktor. The morning passed quietly and I had to take Aeva’s hands in mine after she’d chipped off all her nail polish and started attacking her cuticles. She was anxious and so was I.

            We made it through the morning and she was helping me make lunch while Phoenix and Lupe played pretend in the living room. We’d decided to give them chicken noodle soup from scratch and she was working on portioning out biscuit dough for a side. I liked having her in the kitchen with me, though she knew not to show up too often. I didn’t like to chase her out of things, but we had an understanding between us: the studio was her place, the kitchen was mine. Today, I was happy to have her close and I certainly didn’t mind that every time she walked behind me, she’d run her hand over my hip.

            “Aeva, can you grab the onion powder?” I asked. I didn’t hear her open a cabinet or even move, so I peeked over my shoulder to check on her. She was leaning hard on the counter, eyes squeezed shut. I stepped right beside her instantly.

            “Love,” I asked, “are you alright?”

            “Yeah. No. I don’t know,” she murmured, sounding like she was in some sort of pain.

            “What’s wrong?”

            “My stomach. It just…hurts. It’s kind of been clenched since I got sick this morning, now it’s just… _really_ clenched.”

            “Do you…do you need to use the rest room?”

            “No, that’s not what it feels like. It’s like a cramp. Like a really bad menstrual cramp.”

            “Can I do anything to help? Can I get you something, like pain killers or your heating pad?”

            “No, I just need a minute. Really, I’m fine.” She opened her eyes and looked up at me. She looked tired, even though she hadn’t been up very long. She had dark circles under her eyes and her lips were a little chapped.

            “You look ill,” I said, stroking her cheek. “I don’t think you’re over your stomach bug yet.”

            “I don’t think so either. I’m just going to step outside for a minute.”

            “Sure,” I nodded, kissing her forehead. Her skin was much cooler than it usually was; she felt like a regular human. I watched her slip on a pair of shoes and walk out onto the deck. She turned right, like she might go down the stairs, but I knew she was going to sit with the statue of her father. Sometimes she’d perch on the railing by him with her morning coffee; I figured it helped her clear her head. I also figured her anxiety wasn’t helping her stomach, so perhaps a bit of fresh air to calm her down would be good.

            I finished cooking on my own and served lunch late, around two. That was the usual routine when the humans woke up late. I got the kids settled at the table before I went to collect Aeva. The pair of them were feeling much better and had already begun roughhouse and whisper, clear signs of impending mischief. They were hungry, though, and ate quietly while I slipped out onto the deck. Aeva was leaning back against the railing right in front of Jaime, arms crossed and eyes closed. She still looked tired, but not in pain.

            “Food’s ready. Come and eat,” I called. She opened her eyes, still black and bright, and nodded. We walked in together and she sat down in front the soup I’d set for her. Phoenix and Lupe had begun debating.

            “No, you can’t dig through the earth,” he was saying. “It’s full of hot lava.”

            “But if you dug the hole in the bottom first, all the lava would fall out. Then you could.”

            “How would you get out of the hole before the lava melted you?”

            “You gotta run.”

            The logic wasn’t exactly sound, but I decided to leave the topic of gravitational fields to an actual teacher. Aeva was seated across from me with her back to the glass wall, so she didn’t see when Viktor appeared on the deck. Thankfully, neither did Lupe. I sat up straight and caught his eye as he walked up. He opened the door and a gust of wind blew his scent toward us; Phoenix caught it right away.

            “Papa Viktor!” He shouted, putting his hands straight into the air.

            “Hello, little vone,” he replied, walking over and kissing the top of his head. Phee gave Viktor’s head a funny little hug before returning to his meal. Aeva and I had both noticed the strange expression on Viktor’s face as soon as he had walked in. Lupe was decisively not looking at him and most likely missed it. He sat down in the open seat beside me and waited silently while Lupe and Phoenix returned to their conversation. Aeva and I weren’t listening to them anymore, though. She and I were staring at each other, picking up on our signs of stress. She kept looking at the tendon in my jaw as it flexed and I could hear her heart rate increasing. We both needed to hear what Viktor had to say.

            By the time Phee and Lupe were done eating they had decided that they needed to go upstairs to investigate Phee’s doctor toys and that one of them would need surgery. I cleared the table and Aeva helped them out of their chairs.

            “You two can play by yourselves,” she said, “but you need to be good, deal?”

            “Deal!” Phee shouted, letting her lead him to the stairs.

            “Deal,” Lupe agreed.

            “I’m going to hang out with Viktor, but I’ll be up to check in on you.”

            “Okay!” Lupe called over her shoulder, climbing the stairs on all fours. Phee was rushing too; they were both ridiculous and I didn’t trust them an inch, especially since this all began with a conversation about lava and ended with an appendectomy.

            “I will be listening!” I called. “Don’t do anything you don’t want me to know about, because I’ll know anyway.”

            “Okaaaaay!”

            They made it to the top of the stairs and sprinted to Phoenix’s room, slamming the door. Aeva looked at me, lips pursed.

            “They have no way to do it,” she said, “but I have this feeling that they’re going to start a fire.”

            I laughed and pulled her to me, kissing her forehead. “I’ll keep an ear out. How are you feeling?”

            “Better. My stomach has settled.”

            “Are you ill?” Viktor asked, getting to his feet.

            “I think I caught whatever the kids had,” she replied. “What happened to the Cullens?”

            “Nothing,” he said. “They are vell. But ve must speak. I don’t vant the children to overhear us, though.”

            “Let’s go out there then,” I said, nodding toward the deck. “I’ll light a fire; Aeva, go get a blanket and meet us out there.” She nodded and pulled an afghan off the couch while Viktor and I went outside. The lake was frozen and there was a layer of snow, but there was no wind so it wasn’t terribly cold; it was winter though, and already starting to dim. I lit and stoked a fire in our firepit while Aeva and Viktor settled into chairs. When it was burning well, I pulled a chair close to Aeva’s and took her hand under her blanket while she set her boots on the edge of fire pit. Once we were situated, we looked at Viktor. Aeva clenched my hand and I knew she was just as nervous as me.

            “Firstly,” he said, “Ve are not discovered.” I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding and Aeva patted her chest.

            “ _Gracias a Díos_ ,” she whispered.

            “The Cullens are also unpunished,” he continued. “They vere proven innocent of their crimes.”

            Now I clenched Aeva’s hand a bit harder. “There was no immortal child found in their possession?”

            “There vas a child and all signs point to her being immortal, but she vas not an immortal child as ve understand them,” Viktor replied. “She is a Halfling.”

            “A what?”

            “She is half vampire and half human.”

            “That’s not possible,” I laughed. “Humans and vampires can’t reproduce.”

            “Human males and female vampires cannot,” Viktor nodded. “But, apparently, pairs in the reverse are able to conceive. That is how the child came about; Edvard and his mate Bella had her vhile Bella vas still human.”

            “Did Bella change due to the pregnancy?” I asked.

            “I do not know,” he shrugged. “I do not know exactly vhat happened, but Aro searched Edvard and vas satisfied that the little girl is not fully a vampire.”

            I was reeling. _That_ was what Carlisle had hoped we’d let Edward explain to us. I was struggling to find words; Aeva seemed struck silent as well.

            “Vampire males and human females can conceive,” she whispered.

            “What?” I asked, turning to look at her. She had her eyes closed and her face was very still. “Aeva, what’s wrong?”

            “I have only had one late period in my life and it was when I had Phoenix,” she replied, eyes still closed. “I missed my period last week. I threw up this morning.”

            “You caught what Phee and Lupe had.”

            “Whatever they had caused diarrhea. I threw up and only this morning.”

            “Vhat?” Viktor asked, now going on high alert. “Vhat are you talking about, Aeva?”

            I couldn’t believe the discussion we were clearly moving toward. “Aeva, do you think…?”

            “I do,” she nodded. “I think I’m pregnant. I think that’s what this is.”

            “Sex is reqvired for pregnancy,” Viktor said, a hint of irritation in his tone. “Have you two been—“

            “But I’ve never…I’ve never been able to…to stay inside,” I said, ignoring my father.

            “I don’t know what sex ed was like in the 1700’s, but in today’s classes, they drill a key phrase into our heads,” she groaned, finally opening her eyes to look at me. “ _Pulling out is not an effective form of contraception._ ”

            I was dumbstruck yet again. Aeva was pregnant. She was pregnant with _my_ child; she and I were going to have a _baby_. I looked over at Viktor, expecting to see him scowling. His face, however, matched mine. He looked completely shocked.

            “It...I mean it can happen,” he said, searching for words. “Ve know that now. I…don’t know vhat this means for us, but…”

            “Bella’s a vampire,” Aeva said flatly. “She could have been changed by the pregnancy.”

            “The females are not venomous,” Viktor replied instantly. “They said that.”

            “And Edward _had_ to change her,” I added. “That was a rule that the Volturi gave him.”

            “What, so you think I can stay human through this? Do we even know what’s going to happen? Is it going to be, like, normal? The pregnancy, I mean. How long will it take?”

            “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t know anything about this.”

            “Neither do I, but I promise you that Carlisle kept notes,” Viktor said, getting to his feet. “I vill get them from him.”

            “Don’t _get_ them,” I said. “Steal them. Carlisle thinks Aeva is dead. She can’t be pregnant if she’s dead.”

            “Of course.” He vanished and I turned back to Aeva. She’d folded forward and had her face buried in her hands.

            “It’s going to be okay, right?” She said, voice muffled by her palms. “We can do this? Bella did it; she’s a teenager. I can do this too…”

            “You can,” I assured her, running a hand over her back. “You’re going to be fine. And we…we’re going to have a baby.” She started laughing, covering her mouth.

            “A baby. You and me, Nathan. We’re going to have a _baby_.”

            “I know. Phoenix actually is going to get a sibling like he wanted.”

            “Phoenix is going to be a brother!” She exclaimed, sitting up and grabbing my head in her hands. “He’s going to…we’re going to…oh my _god_.” Her eyes were so bright and her smile was so big that I couldn’t help but laugh. I leaned forward and she kissed me hard, pulling away grinning.

            “Do you think it’ll be a boy or a girl?”

            “I don’t know.”

            “What do you want?”

            “I don’t know,” I confessed. “I have no idea. I’ve never thought about it.”

            She ran her hands through her hair and leaned back in her chair, elated shock on her face. I had no idea that she would respond this way to us being able to have children; I’d had no idea that this was something she might ever want from me. She seemed so happy though and my smile couldn’t help but match hers. I had gotten to fall in love with Aeva; I had gotten to marry her; I had gotten to raise a son with her; now we would get to have a child together. This was everything I’d been certain I wasn’t allowed to do anymore, but here we were.

            Viktor returned a few moments later with one large, bound packet of paper. It looked like a doctoral dissertation. I wanted to read it right then, cover to cover, but that wouldn’t do. Lupe needed to go back to Frida and we couldn’t count on her just falling asleep in the car again. I decided to drive her back alone so that Viktor could come get me as soon as I dropped her off. Lupe and Phoenix were absolutely tragic as they said goodbye. I knew he loved her company and, soon, he’d have a sibling of his very own to spend his time with. I couldn’t tell him that just yet though.

            Lupe asked me lots of questions about roads and maps while I drove her back to Allentown. I was not a cartographer, though, and my answers were mostly unsatisfactory to her. I gave her a pen and a pad of paper and helped her write her questions down, though. She could have Frida or Miguel help her look up answers once she was home. When I pulled into the driveway, I helped her get out of her seat and walked her inside.

            “Hijo!” Maria said, pulling me down to kiss my cheeks. “How is Phoenix?”

            “He’s doing well. He and Lupe are over the worst of it; they took it easy today.”

            “And mi Estrella? Frida said she was sick too.”

            I smiled in spite of myself. “She’s…she’s doing very well too.”

            “What is that face, hijo?” She said, raising her eyebrows. “What are you hiding?”

            “Nothing, Maria. I just have to get back. Give my love to the others.”

            “I’m going to find out about whatever this is.”

            “You will,” I agreed. “Just wait.” I kissed her cheek again, said goodbye to Lupe, and ducked out of the house before anyone else could stall me. I drove until I found a quiet place to pull off the road and called Viktor. He rejected my call and I waited a few moments for him to find the car. When he did, he got in silently, eyes staring straight out of the windshield.

            “What?” I asked, unsure about his demeanor.

            “Vhen I take you back,” he said, voice very quiet, “I am going to take Phoenix into the library to read. You and Aeva should go to my study to read Carlisle’s notes together.”

            “You two didn’t read them while I was gone?”

            “Ve did,” he said darkly. “Go upstairs to my study.” He set one hand on the dashboard and one on my arm and we appeared in the garage. I didn’t like whatever was happening; there was something in those notes that had changed the mood of my house while I was gone. Viktor silently opened his door and went inside.

            “Come, little vone,” he called.

            “Okay Papa Viktor.”

            I heard Phee’s light footsteps and the brush of Viktor’s slacks as they went to the library together. Aeva’s heartbeat was thrumming slow and steady from upstairs; if nothing else, she wasn’t panicking. I figured it couldn’t be _that_ bad.

            I was wrong.

            When I got to her, she was sitting on the sofa with her knees tucked up with the packet of notes open on her legs. She looked just like she did when she read a magazine. She glanced up when I came in.

            “Viktor told me you’d be up here,” I said, closing the door behind myself. “What have you learned?”

            “Vampire human hybrids, as it turns out, are not uncommon.”

            “Well that’s good.”

            “Mothers that survive giving birth to one are.”

            “How many are there?”

            “Just one,” she said, looking numbly back down at the booklet in her lap. “Just Bella.”

            I was dumbstruck. She turned her eyes back to mine, clearly at a loss for words, and offered me the notes. I sat down beside her as I paged through.

            Everything I read was horrifying.

            The description of Edward’s little girl—Renesmee—was delightful. She was beautiful, intelligent, kind, and gifted. In order to get her, though, Bella had endured a living hell. For one thing, Renesemee grew very quickly. Too quickly for Bella to keep up. With the nine-month process that Aeva went through for Phoenix, mothers have much more time to adjust. Bella’s pregnancy was about one month long, and it was cut short due to a complication. Still, Renesmee was only born about as prematurely as Phoenix had been. In only a month, Bella had almost been full term; Carlisle estimated that she might have needed just a week or a week and half more.

            Bella’s body could barely keep up and she had deteriorated at an alarming rate. She’d shown all the signs of starvation even though she was eating because the rapid growth of the baby had pulled that much from her. Carlisle surmised that even without the complication that nearly killed Bella, if they had not found an effective form of treatment, she would have died of malnutrition before she could have given birth. He provided proof that showed that was the very cause of death for other women that had birthed Halflings.

            There was no evidence that any Halfling child had ever been naturally birthed. Bella had required an emergency C-section, which Edward had needed to perform with his _teeth_ because the womb had become tough and actually took on the characteristics of vampire skin to protect the child. In every other case that Carlisle was able to investigate, the mother died and the baby—being formed enough to be functional and independent—would claw its own way out of her body.

            Moving away from general trends and just looking specifically at what had happened to Bella offered no great comfort either. She bent down and her placenta detached, causing Renesmee to begin suffocating. The infant started thrashing around so much that she broke Bella’s back. Even before that, though, Renesmee had kicked hard enough to break a few of Bella’s ribs and leave massive bruises on her skin. Phoenix had bruised Aeva once or twice, but nothing on the scale of what the photos of Bella showed.

            The photos were horrific. Bella was an 18 year old child and she was all bone and sinew with a grotesquely distended stomach. She looked like the spectre of death. She showed marginal improvements after Carlisle started her on blood, but it was too late to help her. She was far beyond recovery at that point. Most disturbing of everything in the notes was that first photo of Bella. She looked mostly normal, just exhausted: dark circles under her eyes and chapped lips, like Aeva did now. This was what Aeva was in for. This is what my child was about to put her through. My hands were shaking as I closed the front cover and looked at her again.

            “Most of the mothers die and the babies dig their way out,” she said cheerfully. Then she slumped over and let her head thud against my shoulder. “What are we going to do, Nathan? This isn’t…it isn’t what I thought.”

            “Oh, love,” I sighed, looping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. “I don’t…I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do.”

            “We’re going to make this work.”

            “How?” I laughed. There was no humor to it. “How do we make any of that—” I nodded at the book “—work? Aeva, you don’t have to do this. I know we thought that it would be nice for Phoenix to have a sibling but it’s not worth you going through that.”

            “We have to try. I know it’s scary but I still…I still want it, Nathan.” She lifted her head to look me in the eyes. “I still want this baby.”

            I stared at her for a long time. Her jaw saw set and she looked so defiant. There wasn’t any argument I could present that would sway her, so I deferred to a human for the second time in my life.

            “Yes, love,” I said. Her eyebrows went up when she recognized the tone of my voice.

            “That’s it?” She asked. “That’s it. We’re doing what I want on this?”

            “Yes.”

            “Okay. What do we need to do?”

            “We should probably start you on blood,” I replied, opening back to the section on effective treatment for Bella. “If we start you early enough, maybe you won’t go through the whole…ah… deteriorating part.”

            “That would be nice.” She was pointedly not looking at the photo of Bella. “How do we get blood though? Carlisle was a doctor, so he could get blood from the hospital.”

            “If you start now, animal blood will probably be enough. She drank human blood at the end to keep from dying. I can go hunting again; Viktor can help me drain something for you. We’ll keep it in the fridge, you can drink it cold; they said that helped Bella get it down.”

            We flipped through the booklet again, pointing out all the things we could do to keep her healthy. No matter what, though, we couldn’t slow the process down. In a month, perhaps a month and a half, we would have a Halfling baby. We had more questions than answers. What if Aeva had to be changed like Bella was? Who would Phoenix go to? Would we keep the new baby with us? What if it was a male? The males were venomous, so we would need to stop it from biting people. What if Aeva made it through birth only to be turned by the baby itself? How would we explain the baby to Phoenix? What were we supposed to say to Aeva’s family? These last two were our most pressing.

            “We have to tell them,” she said plainly.

            “Do we? We could have it in secret and then say we adopted it.”

            “It’ll look just like us. Look, Renesmee is _exactly_ Bella and Edward. And if I could die from this, I’m not doing it without seeing my family first.”

            “Aeva, there’s no way to explain this that sounds reasonable. Your family has accepted a massive amount about Viktor and I, but a baby in a month? It’ll be too much. And if it’s a male and we can’t control it, they won’t be able to meet it anyway.”

            I had deferred on the larger issue; I wouldn’t move on this. The fewer oddities her family were exposed to, the fewer questions they would ask. The less they knew, the smaller the risk of Aro going after them. She chewed her lip, thinking hard as she stared at a picture of Renesmee, who was easily the most breathtaking baby either of us had ever seen. She ran her finger over the image.

            “Okay, a secret then,” she agreed. “But…I need to tell Mamá. She lost her husband, Nathan. If she’s going to lose me, I want her to know why.”

            “We’ll tell Maria then. But we need to do it before it’s too obvious. Once you’re showing, you can’t see them.”

            She nodded and grabbed my hand, squeezing hard. “We’re doing this,” she said. She set her free hand on her belly and met my eyes. “We’re doing this.”

            We were certainly going to try.


	12. Decieved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new perspective on the matter

###  _Aro_

       “It is an _outrage_!” Caius snarled. “How can you just sit passively by? We must act! We were humiliated in front of our own witnesses.”

       “There is nothing that can be done about it now, brother,” I sighed. “And we can certainly not act against the Cullens without arousing undue suspicion. We have sent Jane, Alec, and two trackers after the South American vampire to stop his creation of the Halflings.”

       “Halflings,” he snorted, starting to pace. “Why are you suddenly so intrigued by Halflings? What use does our guard have for one?”

       “We would benefit from greater knowledge on the issue.”

       “Then confiscate Cullen’s notes.”

       “No, dear brother. Firsthand experience is always better.”

       “So we will claim one from the South American male,” Marcus sighed from my left side. “Chelsea could easily persuade them.” His contribution startled me; he didn’t often share his recommendations.

       “A valid suggestion, to be sure,” I said, nodding to him. “But not what I want. You know I want to see one grow from an infant.”

       “And how are we to manage that, brother?” Caius snorted. He’d always suffered from a limited imagination and I pitied him for it.

       “Peace,” I soothed, gesturing to his throne. He chose not to sit, but rather to glare at me from a short distance away. “I have a plan, of course. Calm yourself. It will not do for us to appear…shaken. Not now. We must remain calm and continue our noble work of protecting our kind. We will get our Halfling in due time; worry not.”

       “ _Your_ Halfling,” he corrected. His tone was curt, but he took his place beside me and so I was unconcerned. I leaned back fully in my own throne, playing a few choice thoughts through my head again. The memory had been brief, but vivid in young Edward Cullen’s head. It was not even his own memory, but one stolen from someone nearby; he’d found it in Carlisle’s head in a moment of lost concentration on the part of the doctor. Carlisle had sought out Nataniel and Viktor Evanov, hoping they might stand witness for the child, Renesmee. They had declined in a decidedly noble gesture. More interesting than that, though, was the sharp, thick, _fresh_ scent of human on Nataniel. Carlisle had recognized the smell as Nataniel’s mate and her son.

       Those particular humans were meant to be dead; killed months ago, in fact, by none other than my own dear one Viktor. But no scent that strong came from anything but the living. I hid my fury well when I made my discovery. Viktor did not flee from the clearing; He did not know I had learned of his deceit.

       Truly, I _had_ been deceived. I could not be sure just _how_ , exactly, but I could see the gaps that had allowed it. I had searched Nataniel’s mind after I had dispatched Viktor. Nataniel had been restrained, but not allowed to witness the execution of his humans. He too had been deceived, for he had truly believed them dead. I should have searched Viktor’s mind again, but I had been foolish and trusted him. Trust was always a foolish gesture. Hindsight, as they say, is twenty-twenty.

       Nataniel’s mate and her child lived on, against strict orders for their execution. The deceit of the Evanov coven warranted eradication, but it would not do to act rashly. Not when I also retained a memory pried directly from Nataniel’s own head; several memories, in fact, of _his_ body fitted between _her_ legs. I wanted a Halfling child and they could provide one, given the proper motivation. That motivation would require a bit of planning though. My desired target was slippery as smoke. I would prevail, though. I was confident in that much. I simply had to bide my time and keep my machinations private. Public justice had failed us; these proceedings would be conducted in secret.


	13. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pregnancy is tough no matter how it ends
> 
> Dedicated to Morgan

###  _Aeva_

       When I woke up, I was alone in my bed, but I could hear Nathan and Viktor’s voices from down stairs. I checked the clock and saw that it was still much too early for Phoenix to be awake. That meant I had a moment to myself and I used it to cry. Everything hurt and it was worse right when I woke up.

      I was terrified of what I was carrying inside me. It could break my bones, it could kill me, it might even try to dig its way out. It could kill Nathan too, just by being born. The Volturi would come for him immediately and I’d be long dead by then. And then what would happen to the baby? To Phoenix? Would they be killed too? Would they be left to fend for themselves? All of it was something Nathan and I hadn’t worked out yet and I wanted to care about it, but my body hurt too much.

      I could stop thinking about all the pictures of Bella; those photos were haunting. Bella was only 18. Lidia was two years older than her and I thought of my sister as a baby. Bella was just a kid and she gave birth to a thing that sucked the life out of her. I had to remind myself that I had only been a few months older than her when I’d gotten pregnant, but I hadn’t looked like that. I hadn’t felt like I did now either. Bella had looked how this pregnancy felt.

      It was just painful. The muscles all around my stomach were tight and my back ached. I also usually had a pang in my side. Usually was a relative term, though, since I’d only known I was pregnant for three days. I wasn’t optimistic about what the rest of this month would feel like. The only thing that made it seem worth it was that picture of Renesmee. She was so beautiful and I knew Nathan and I would have a child like that. I liked to picture the baby and I always imagined a boy. I saw him in my head with my dark eyes and black hair, but with Nathan’s wild curls. I also hoped the baby would have his hidden dimple in its cheek.

      I laid in bed and pictured that little boy while I breathed through my pain. My back was killing me as I rolled over. I tried to stay quiet but I knew Nathan would have heard me grunt when I moved. He’d be up soon. I wiped my eyes and sat in silence for a long time. The muscles in my back and lower belly remained clenched. I had to ask myself depressing questions to take my mind off of it. What if I ruined Phoenix’s life? What if I couldn’t handle this baby? What if I was a terrible mother? Would Nathan still love me? Would he resent me for not being able to properly care for his child? Would Phoenix resent me for taking care of it at all?

       “Aeva?”

      I turned my head towards the door and there was his long body, leaning against the door frame. Nathan’s honey gold eyes were looking at me concernedly and his perfect mouth was curled in a frown.

       “Aeva, love, what’s wrong?” He asked quietly.

       “Pregnancy hormones,” I lied, faking a smile. He saw right through me and came to the bed, crawling right in and laying against me.

       “You’re a dirty liar, but I forgive you,” he teased. “There’s a lot in your head, though.”

       “I know,” I sighed, trying to find a comfortable position.

       “I’m sorry you’re in pain,” he murmured. “Carlisle’s notes didn’t say anything about it. We should add this to the book.”

       “Bella’s a martyr,” I sighed. “She wouldn’t have told anyone about it. That’s why it’s not in there.”

       “Bella needs to stop being so holy and help us out a little,” he replied, slowly circling his knuckles into a knot in my back. He wasn’t pushing hard enough but I didn’t know how to describe what I wanted, so I took the lazy way out.

       “Your massage is perfect.”

      He laughed and dug in a bit harder and just a tad to the right. “We have breakfast ready for you, whenever you’re ready,” he muttered, obviously still a little uncomfortable with it. “Would you like it now?”

       “May as well,” I shrugged. He helped me out of the bed and we walked down to the kitchen together. Viktor was waiting with my silver thermos on the counter in front of him.

       “Good morning,” he said, nodding at me. “How vould you like this? You can drink from a regular cup, a covered mug, through a straw, hot, cold: vhatever you vant.”

       “Um, cold,” I decided, climbing onto a bar stool. “With a lid and a straw.”

       “Of course,” he grinned. He took down a plastic cup, thankfully opaque, and opened the thermos. He poured the thick red liquid into the cup and then swiftly snapped on the lid.

       “Go ahead,” Nathan urged as I took it. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and took a quick pull on the straw. The cold liquid hit my mouth and I gasped, swallowing just in time to avoid spitting it everywhere.

       “Vhat?” Viktor demanded, leaning forward. “Is it bad?”

       “Um, no,” I said, slowly opening my eyes. “No, it’s not. It tastes…good, but it has an aftertaste like woodchips.”

       “It’s because it’s deer blood this time,” Nathan explained. “It always tastes woody.”

       “Fascinating,” I mumbled. “Well, cheers.” I took another long drag on the straw and drank deeply. Nathan and Viktor had started me on blood yesterday, almost as soon as we’d finished reading Carlisle’s notes. It had the somewhat metallic quality I’d always associated with blood, though this cup had the woody aftertaste, but it was still delicious. I emptied it in just a few minutes.

       “Well done, Aeva,” Nathan praised, handing my cup back to his dad. “That was a half pint. I don’t know how much you’ll need, or how often. But I think if we have you drink that much with every meal we should be alright for a while. If it starts to look like you need more than that we can always increase your dose.”

       “Mmhmm,” I said, raising my eyebrows. “Well, I’m going to go shower now. I feel a little filthy after that.” Nathan laughed and kissed my cheek and I went back up to our room. I started the shower and stripped down.

       _Bella started showing at right around one and a half weeks._

      How long had I been pregnant? Not long, but I really had no idea. I looked at my nude reflection in the mirror and turned to the side; I had a bump. Not so much a bump as a curve, but it was there. It could easily have been passed off as a food baby, but I hadn’t eaten anything yet. It was a good thing we were going to see Mamá today and not any later. I stared at my body for a long while before I noticed a very long, blue vein right along my pelvis.

       “If you give me stretch marks,” I muttered, looking down at my little belly. “I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you.” I turned and got into the shower and found the hot water remarkably soothing. When I got out, I wiped the fog off the mirror to check my reflection again. The blue vein had vanished.

       “Well,” I laughed, running a finger over where it had been. “I’m glad we’ve reached an agreement, little dude.”

      I dried off and dressed myself before heading down the hall to Phoenix’s room. I opened the door slowly and peeked in at him, finding him still asleep, sprawled across his bed with his blankets thrown over the guard rail. His sleepshirt had ridden up and his tummy was poking into the air, rhythmically rising and falling. He was breathing pretty fast for being asleep though.

       “Faker.”

      He opened his eyes and grinned at the ceiling. “I almost got you.”

       “Yeah, you had me for two seconds…maybe,” I teased, rushing in and scooping him up. “How were your dreams?”

       “I don’t remember,” he said through a yawn. “Good I think. Is Papa Viktor still here?”

       “I think so; he was just in the kitchen. We can go check if he’s still there after you’re dressed.”

       “Are you gonna comb my hair?”

       “Yes, I am.”

       “Is it bad?”

       “It’s pretty bad,” I laughed, examining his bed head. “Worse than mine, even.”

       “Worse than daddy’s when he wakes up?”

       “Yeah,” I lied. I was the only one that needed to know Nathan didn’t sleep. Maybe we would tell Phoenix when he was older; he’d probably figure it out on his own anyway. I set him down by his dresser and he stuck his arms in the air so I could pull his shirt over his head. I popped his new one on just as quickly, and then we swapped out his pants and his underwear.

       “Feel here, honey,” I said, putting his fingers on the little button and zipper in the front of his pants. “That’s the front, and this is the back.” I moved his hands so he could feel his pockets.

       “Are these my blue ones, or my black ones?” He asked.

       “They’re black. And you have on your blue shirt.”

      He ran his fingers over his shirt, feeling the design. “The one with the puppy,” he said, smiling as he figured it out. “It has a big spot around just the one eye.” The spot he was talking about was done in felt, so he could find it. He was too clever. How were we going to tell him I was having a baby? How could we explain it to him? We would have to; he was way too perceptive for us to hide it.

       “Are you excited to go see Abuela?”

       “Yes,” he said, smiling. I led him into his bathroom and wet a comb to start going after his hair. “We’ve been going to Abuela’s house a lot,” he said. It was nonchalant, but he was clearly asking a question.

       “We have,” I agreed. “We had Christmas, and then Lupe came here for New Year’s.”

       “And we got sick.”

       “Yes, sir, you did. And now we’re going to go visit again and show them that you’re not still barfing.”

       “And you too,” he laughed. “You’re not still sick either.”

       “Yep,” I said, glad he couldn’t see my pained expression. “We have to go show everyone that we’re okay.”

      Once I’d tamed his hair to the best of my ability and helped him brush his teeth, I let him climb onto my back and gave him a piggy back ride down to the kitchen. Having his body put pressure on my back actually helped with the pain a little. When I set him down on a barstool, Nathan gave him a bowl of cereal and Viktor sat with him while he ate. Nathan, the absolute saint, had me lean my elbows on the counter so he could rub a few more knots out of my lower back. If I had my husband and his father to help me, I might actually be able to do this. There were logistics to figure out, for sure, but I was beginning to think the physical side of things might be possible. I coasted on the positive thought while Phee finished up his breakfast and we got ready to leave.

       “Vould you like to take this vith you vhen you go?” Viktor asked, holding up my silver thermos.

       “No.”

      Nathan had Phoenix on his hip and was almost to the door to the garage, but he stopped an threw me a worried look. “Aeva, you might need it.”

       “I’ll have some more now, but I don’t want to bring that at my mom’s house.”

      He grimaced, but didn’t say anything else. While he put Phoenix in the car, Viktor poured another half pint into a cup for me. I drank it down, vaguely disturbed by how much I liked it, and ran to catch up with Nathan. I thought he would be upset with me, but he just held my hand while he drove. He might have been angry or irritated, but he was good enough not to say it. Mostly, he was just trusting me to know what I needed through this process. I didn’t know that his approach was the most effective, because I wasn’t being very good about actually telling him how I felt—he always seemed so sad when I let him know I was in pain—but it did make me feel like he trusted me.

      When we got to Mamá’s house, Lidia was still there. She had another week or so before she had to go back to school and I was glad to be able to see her again.

       “Hermanita,” I said, wrapping her in a hug. “Your hair is so long!”

       “I’m growing it out like yours,” she said, smiling and adjusting her glasses. She was exactly as tall as I was now, so I grabbed a strip of hair from each of our heads and pulled it straight to compare. My hair was still a few inches longer and hung down to my chest. Lidia’s just brushed her collarbones, but she would catch me soon. I needed a haircut anyway. Frida had cut all her dead ends off and now her hair was just to her shoulders, but she wanted to grow it all the way down to the middle of her back. I hadn’t had my hair that long since my wedding and I never planned to let it get that long again. I ran my fingers thorough my hair to ruffle it back into place and a good bit of it came out in my hand.

      Yet another fascinating side effect of my pregnancy.

      Lidia and I stayed and talked while Nathan followed Phoenix into the living room. Miguelito had found his and Manuel’s childhood Lego stash. They’d truly had an incredible amount of those bricks. Miguel had washed and sorted them into giant bags; there were enough bags for each of the niños to get one. Frida’s kids were already playing with theirs, Mercedes didn’t want hers, and Lola didn’t really get it. Phoenix, however, was very excited.

      He and Nathan had dumped out the bag of Legos between them and started linking bricks together. Lola wasn’t particularly interested in building anything, but she liked to kick towers over. She settled herself into Nathan’s lap and waited for her opening to destroy something. I liked the look of Nathan with two kids. As much as I wanted to keep talking to Liddy, I had come to my Mother’s house for a reason.

       “Mamá,” I called, “can I talk to you?” I nodded my head at the empty kitchen and she raised her eyebrows, but followed me without protest. I took a seat at the far end of the huge table and she sat beside me.

       “What is it, Estrella?”

       “I have something to tell you,” I murmured, looking down at my lap. “But you can’t tell anyone else yet. Nathan and I want to do that when…when it’s time…um…”

       “Aevita,” she whispered, taking my hand. I looked up and her face was serious. “What’s happening? Are you and Nathan moving somewhere? Are…are you two splitting up?”

       “No, we’re not splitting up. Why would you think that?”

       “You look so _sad_ , mija,” she laughed. “Is Viktor alright? Has someone you two know died? Are you sick? You look sick.”

       “No, no one’s sick, I’m pregnant.”

      I hadn’t intended to just spit it out like that but it happened all the same. Mamá slapped both her hands over her mouth and her eyes lit up. “ _Hija_ ,” she hissed. “Why are you so sad about this? This is wonderful news! Voy a tener otro nieto!”

       “I know, I know, but…”

       “And, hija, Phoenix is a beautiful little boy, but with you and Nathan… Aeva, this baby is going to be _gorgeous_.”

       “Yes, probably, but I need you to understand…”

       “Do you think it’ll be a boy or a girl? Do you have a guess?”

       “No, I don’t know, Mamá, but…”

       “But you want me to keep it a secret, so I will. It’s early, hm? You two just found out. I’ll wait until you’re ready to tell everyone, but Estrella I’m so happy for you!”

       “Mamá,” I said, taking her hands again. “I know…I know you’re excited…”

       “Excited? I’m thrilled, mija. I’m going to get another grand baby!”

       “I know, but Mamá…”

       “And Phoenix is going to be a big brother! He’s going to be such a good big brother!”

       “Mamá, I need you to listen…”

       “Nathan gets to be a padre too; I bet he must be over the moon…”

       “MAMÁ!” I roared, shaking her by her wrists. Her eyes went wide with shock and I released her immediately, horrified. “I…Mamá, I don’t know what…I’m so sorry…”

       “Hija, what was _that_?” She asked, still staring. “You’ve never…”

       “I know,” I said, scrambling to my feet. I moved so quickly I knocked my chair over. “I don’t… I have to…” I ran from the room, leaving my stunned mother alone with the red marks on her wrists. I crashed into Manuel and almost lost my footing.

       “Woah, careful,” he said, steadying me. I looked up at him, frantic, and saw that Nathan was right behind him. His easy expression snapped into concern.

       “Aeva…” His tone was warning.

       “I tried to explain to her,” I said, pushing my brother away, “but I couldn’t. She wouldn’t stop talking! I was trying to get her to stop, but she kept going, and I…I…” I stared helplessly at him and his eyes widened. He ripped past me and Manuel, bursting into the kitchen. He and my mother screamed at the same time.

       “Ay, hijo!” She shouted. “Don’t do that! You’ll give me a heart attack!”

       “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he laughed, patting his chest. “I didn’t expect you to yell at me.”

       “Of course I yelled! You snuck up on me! Get over here, you scared me to death!” He laughed again and walked out of my line of sight, surely to be hugged by Mamá.

       “Aevita, what’s going on?” Manuel was staring at me, clearly tense. “What was that? Why did he run to check on her like that? What did he think you did?”

       “I…I didn’t _do_ anything, first of all…”

       “Aeva.”

       “He thought…well, I don’t know what he thought! But I scared him.”

       “You’re scaring me too,” he said earnestly, putting a hand on my cheek. “What’s going on? What has you two so freaked out?”

       “It’s kind of hard to explain. I was trying to tell Mamá a minute ago, but it didn’t go well.”

       “Well tell me right now.”

       “I can’t, Manuel,” I huffed, pushing past him. “Just leave it alone.” I slipped into the bathroom and locked the door.

      What was happening? Why did I hurt my mother like that? I ran the tap and splashed some cold water on my face. I looked like hell. There were shadows under my eyes and my lips were chapped. I hadn’t looked like that this morning. I flipped up my shirt and had to cover my mouth to keep from screaming. My entire belly was covered in a webbing of blue veins.

       “ _What the fuck_?” I hissed, rubbing at them. They were prominent enough that I could feel them through my skin. I had never thought of Nathan as a monster; it was hard to when he was who he was. But staring at my reflection—gaunt, ashen, and veiny—I looked like the _host_ of a monster. I thought of Viktor, then; I looked like I was carrying _his_ child. It was the first time that I fully understood that Viktor and Nathan were the same animal. I jumped at the sound of the knob shaking.

       “I’m in here,” I called.

       “Oh, sorry,” Frida replied. “Phoenix just had to go potty. I’ll take him to the one upstairs.”

       “Okay,” I said, sitting down on the edge of the tub and dropping my face into my hands.

      Phoenix.

      What had I done? I was pregnant with the creature from the Black Lagoon and my little boy was playing with his aunt and his cousins, unaware that he could lose his mom. When Dr. Cullen had written about Bella’s pregnancy, I thought it was just an extreme case. I thought exactly what Nathan had told me: Bella didn’t get blood soon enough; Bella was frail to begin with; Bella was just a teenager. Bella was supposed to have been a worst case scenario. But she wasn’t. The worst case scenario was that my baby would burrow its way out of my corpse. Bella was the best yet and she got her spine broken.

      I hugged my arms around myself, trying to cry as quietly as possible.

       “Aeva.”

      Nathan’s voice was right outside the door.

       “Just…just a minute,” I said, wiping at my eyes. “I’m…I’m not feeling well.”

       “I have...something that might calm your stomach.”

      He had blood. He promised he wouldn’t bring it to my mother’s house, but he had that awful thermos and my stupid cup. I felt disgusting for how badly I wanted it. I reached forward just far enough to unlock the door. He came silently into the room and closed the door behind himself. He didn’t have anything in his hands and anger flared up inside me.

       “Where is it?” I demanded, leaping to my feet. “ _Where is it_?”

      He seemed alarmed by my reaction, but did not tell me to calm down. I realized that I had backed him up against the door.

       “What is _wrong_ with me?” I gasped, recoiling. “Nathan, what is _happening to me_? Why am I so _angry_?”

       “It’s the baby.”

       “I know it’s the baby!” I snapped. Then I was horrified again. “Oh my god, I can’t stop! It doesn’t even feel like _me_. It feels like someone else is talking.” I started sobbing again and Nathan offered a hand experimentally. I latched onto it with all my strength and wrapped his arm around me. He pulled me in and let me cry, gently stroking my hair. “I’m…I’m thirsty…”

       “Okay,” he said, taking his phone out. “I didn’t bring anything with me, as promised, but I’ll get it for you.” I saw Viktor’s name on the screen and suddenly it was hard to catch my breath.

       “Aeva, woah,” Nathan said, turning me to face him. “Slow down, love, slow down; you’re hyperventilating.”

       “He…he…can’t…come,” I gasped out. “They’ll…know…” I couldn’t say anything else. I couldn’t breathe in. I was gripping Nathan’s forearms so tightly that my knuckles were pure white. The panic on his face mirrored what I was feeling; it felt like I was dying.

       “Slow down!” He begged, horrified. “You have to slow down your breathing!”

       “I…can’t…breathe…”

       “Yes you can. Aeva, please…”

      Suddenly Viktor was in the room; Nathan threw him a helpless look and then something was forced into my mouth. I tried to jerk my head away, but it was held firmly in place by an iron hand.

       “Drink,” Viktor commanded. How could he expect me to drink when I couldn’t even catch my breath? But he had my head gripped in one hand and was using the other to gag me with a straw. “Drink,” he said again.

       “Vik, easy…” Nathan said, still pleading. “Don’t hurt her; something’s wrong.”

       “Drink.”

      I pulled sharply on the straw and my mouth filled with blood. I swallowed hard and pulled again and again and again.

       “Good girl,” Viktor praised. “Keep going.” I still needed to breathe; I was about to pass out, but my body wouldn’t let me stop drinking. I gulped down mouthful after mouthful until nothing was coming through the straw anymore. I was so light headed, my knees buckled, but Nathan caught me around my middle.

       “Breathe,” he said, putting my head against his chest. “Please breathe, come on. Nice and slow. Breathe with me.” His chest was moving underneath me in long, slow breaths. I tried to match him, but my breaths were shallow and quick as machine gun fire. There were spots in my vision.

       “Is she vell?”

       “I don’t know.”

       “I’ll bring more.” Viktor was gone and Nathan backed into the tub, guiding me down with him. He laid me against his chest and pressed his hands to my face and neck like a cold compress. I just kept panting until it finally started to feel like there was air in my body. I was exhausted, but I was finally breathing again.

       “I’m…I’m good,” I murmured. “I think I’m okay now.”

       “Oh, thank god,” Nathan sighed, dropping his head back against the shower wall. “Oh…oh, thank god.” He ran a hand through his hair and then over his face, rubbing imaginary stubble. He looked deeply, deeply relieved. I dropped my head back down onto his chest and he set a protective hand on top of it.

       “You…you just…and I couldn’t…that was…”

       “That was scary.”

       “Yes,” he agreed. “That’s a good word for it.”

      Viktor suddenly reappeared at the side of the tub and knelt down. “Aeva, how are you doing?”

       “Better,” I replied, not lifting my head. “But I’m tired.”

       “Okay, that’s okay,” he said, pulling something from his coat pocket. It was a clear bag full of blood, like the kind kept in hospitals. He attached a tube to the bag and offered me the other end. I put it in my mouth and drank without protest, slower this time.

       “Where did you get that?” Nathan asked, voice hard like he disapproved.

       “I stole it, don’t vorry.” I smiled at that and Viktor saw it. He smirked back and held the bag in the air, making sure it would all drain into the straw, which was technically and IV drip. A few minutes later, the bag was empty and I handed the tube back.

       “Thank you.”

       “You’re velcome,” he replied, tucking the empty bag back into this suit coat. “How much have you had today?”

       “A pint this morning and whatever you just gave me.”

       “That’s three pints,” he said, now turning to Nathan. “And she’s not even half vay there.”

       “I know.”

       “Ve can discuss it later.” He was gone again without another word and Nathan wrapped his arms around me. I realized how folded up his legs were so that he could fit in my mother’s little green bathtub and I laughed at how silly he looked.

       “What’s funny?” He asked, resting his cheek on my head.

       “How did you fit us both in here?”

       “It’s not comfortable, if you’re wondering,” he chuckled, unfolding one long leg and tossing it over the side. Hit foot laid flat on the ground. “That’s marginally better. How are you?”

       “I’m fine, I’m shorter than you.”

       “No,” he said, laughing. “How _are_ you?”

       “Oh, I’m okay. I’m much better than I was before.” I pulled my shirt up and looked at my belly. The veins had been reduced to just the single, long blue one above my pelvis. “I think the baby is doing okay, too.”

       “That’s good to hear.”

       “Did I just drink human blood?”

       “You did, yes.”

       “Gross.”

      Nathan laughed again and kissed the top of my head, giving me a gentle squeeze. We stayed like that for a few minutes, breathing in time together. I almost fell asleep, but the bathroom door opened and we both looked up.

       “Oh, sorry,” Miguelito said, clearly confused. “You…uh…you two okay?”

       “Aeva had a panic attack,” Nathan replied. “She’s doing better now. We’ll get out of here so you can use the bathroom. Can you help her up?”

       “Oh, sure,” he said, grinning. He stuck his arm out to me and pulled me up. He and I watched together as Nathan struggled through the graceless process of climbing out of the tiny tub on his own. Once he was on his feet, Miguelito pushed me out the door. “I’m glad you’re good, but get out. I gotta poop.”

       “Que asco,” I laughed, hurrying into the hall. Nathan was right behind me and he took my hand as Miguel slammed the door shut. He and I walked out into the back yard. It was cloudy and threatening to rain, and everyone else was in the living room. We had the porch to ourselves. I sat down in a folding chair and Nathan crouched in front of me, hands on my knees.

       “This should be our last visit.”

       “But you said we could try to come again,” I protested. “We agreed on that.”

       “And then _that_ just happened. We can’t risk that again if we’re going to keep this a secret.”

       “We don’t have to tell them, I just…I need to come back before the baby is born.”

       “Then we have to talk to your family,” he said matter of factly. “They’re going to realize you’re pregnant. We have to tell them…something. If this…if my child kills you and then it’s just me and Phoenix and the new baby, I’m not sure how to navigate things. I want Phoenix to keep seeing your family, but they’ll ask about the other one. And if everything goes just fine and you and I have two healthy children…they’re still going to ask about the other one. Unless I hide it, which is really what we should do anyway.”

       “Hide it?”

       “It’ll be full grown in seven years. That’s too fast; they can’t meet it until it stops growing. I’m even worried about Phoenix being around it.”

       “We’ll have to hide it even if I live.”

       “Yes.”

       “And if I’m turned, I can’t have Phoenix.”

       “No,” he agreed. “You can’t be around him. I don’t know if you’ll be alright to be around the new baby either. Not without me there, at least.”

      I stared down at my lap, finally willing to start this conversation. “We…we need to give Phoenix up if I’m turned.”

      He sighed and went quiet for a while before responding. “Yes,” he said. “Probably.”

      When I looked up at him, he looked tremendously sad. I felt sad too, but not like him. I smoothed his hair out of his face and asked, “What’s wrong?”

       “This baby,” he murmured, shaking his head. “It…it’s taking so much from you.”

       “No, the blood helps. I’m going to be okay.”

       “Having this baby might mean you have to give Phoenix up. My child means you can’t have yours anymore.”

       “No, Nathan, stop. It’s not _your_ child. It’s mine too. They’ll both be mine. They’re both _ours_. This baby means you can’t have Phoenix either.”

       “I know.” He sounded absolutely crushed. “I know I can’t.”

      This baby wasn’t just taking things from me, it was taking from both of us. It was taking from all of us. Nathan and I would have to give up Phoenix; Phoenix would lose his parents; my whole family was going to lose Nathan and I. But so much of it was just happening in an effort to keep vampires a secret. If nothing else, even if I couldn’t be near my family because I became a newborn, Nathan didn’t need to lose out on Phee. Phee didn’t need to lose out on having a sibling and this new baby didn’t need to grow up not knowing half of its family.

       “We…we should tell them.”

       “Tell them?” He laughed, sounding shocked. “Just tell them what I am? Tell them what’s happening to you?”

       “No, but…but tell them something. I want this baby to be part of the family—the whole family. And I want you to keep visiting here with Phoenix and this one. They need it. _You_ need it. But what do we say?”

       “Well, I think this is your arena,” he replied, smiling so his dimple showed. “You got them to accept Viktor and I; I’m willing to bet you can do this too. I know you said you wanted to be _included_ in plans like this but…I really think we need to follow your lead.”

       “Am I our coven leader?” I asked, smirking.

       “You’re certainly moving up the ranks. What do you think we should do?”

      I sighed and leaned heavily against the back of my chair, grasping Nathan’s hands in both of mine. He glanced down at them, eyebrows raised.

       “What?”

       “You can…you’re um…” He looked up at me and finished his thought in a tone that clearly meant he wasn’t sure how I was going to take what he had to say. “You’re gripping my hands hard enough for me to feel it.”

       “I thought you said you could always feel me.”

      He lifted his left hand to how me what he meant. The skin on his hand under my fingers had given way to me. I reached toward his face and touched his bottom lip experimentally. It was soft under my thumb and I pressed down so his mouth was slightly open. I had the aberrant though to lean forward and bite that lip, but it was not the proper time for that.

       “Why can I do this?” I asked.

       “I’m not sure. It might have something to do with the human blood you took in.”

       “Bella couldn’t do this when she started drinking human blood.”

       “Bella…Bella had a girl. They’re non-venomous. It’s not blood that makes us strong, it’s venom, love.”

       “So you think we’re having a boy?”

       “I think we might be.”

      There was a flare of joy at Phoenix getting a brother before the significance of Nathan’s child being a boy landed on me. The males were venomous. At the same time, suddenly I could think of this baby as our _son_.

      Nathan shook my knee gently to get my attention again. When I looked at him he asked, “What do you want to do?”

       “I think…I need more time to think.”

       “We don’t have very long.”

       “I know, I know,” I sighed, nodding. “But maybe just the night.”

      He made a frustrated noise and dropped his forehead onto my knees. After a minute, he took a breath and said, “Okay. We’ll take the night to think.”

       “Are you mad at me?”

       “No! No, I’m not.” He seemed alarmed that I’d even asked and stood up to kiss my forehead. I felt his lips on my skin and they were still soft against me. It was so strange. “I’m not angry with you. This situation is just difficult. I wish we had more time, but we don’t. The baby will be here so soon and I don’t know what to do for it or for you.”

       “Neither do I. That’s why we need to think for the night. We’ll make a plan. We’re good at plans.”

      He smiled and cupped my face with his hand, running his thumb over my cheek. I was glad I had him to help me with this, just like I’d had him last time. I stayed pretty close to him for the rest of the time we were at Mamá’s house. He rubbed my back again at one point and I wondered if I felt better just because he was good at massages, or because he was my mate. He really did make me feel calmer just because he was close. When we finally went home, I was feeling run down and I emptied the rest of the contents of the silver thermos.

       “That’s the last of what we had,” Nathan said, rinsing it out. “Will you be alright if Viktor and I go hunting to get you more?”

       “I should be,” I said, nodding. Phoenix had been exhausted when we got home and was napping upstairs, so we didn’t have to hide what we were talking about. “Will you have your phone?”

       “Yes, absolutely,” he nodded. “And if we don’t have to go out of earshot we won’t. Just call if you need me.”

       “Okay,” I nodded. He came around the breakfast bar and kissed me, slow and gentle, before he left. I was feeling just as tired as Phoenix, so I walked upstairs to lay down. I laughed when I went into my room and found Phoenix in my bed; he’d migrated at some point then. He liked our room better than his whenever he could sneak it. When I laid down next to him, he woke up halfway and rolled toward me, reaching out to touch me.

      I held his hand and watched him sleep. He was so, so perfect. He’d always been perfect. As he had grown up, his personality had come out and I had been so excited to find that he was sweet and silly and clever. Sweet, and silly, and clever: he had grown up to be like Nathan. But he wasn’t grown up. He would be five in a few weeks and he had so much growing left to do. The baby I was about to give birth to might grow up to be like him; Phoenix would be such a good big brother. But he wouldn’t be bigger the whole time. This baby would be an adult in seven years and by then, Phoenix would only be 12 or 13. I wanted to let him be a big brother, but I didn’t see how I could let him. We would have to keep them separated for seven years and _then_ they could meet. That would have to be how I let my family meet the new baby too.

      I might not be human on the other side of this birth, though.

      Nathan said he would leave with me and the new baby and that we could give Phoenix to my family, but that wasn’t fair. Nathan _loved_ Phoenix so much and Phoenix adored Nathan: they were father and son. I couldn’t separate them like that. We wouldn’t give Phoenix away; I would go. We could pretend I’d died and I would stay away from him. It wasn’t fair for Phoenix to lose his dad and for Nathan to lose a son just because of me. It wasn’t fair for my family to lose both of us. I could live apart, with Viktor and the new baby. Nathan could go between our children, but he would stay with Phoenix. I could try and try and try to come up with a way for me to get back to Phee, but I shouldn’t do it. I wanted to watch him grow up more than he would need to be with me as I struggled as a new born. My selfish wish to be with him would threaten his life.

      I would give him up so that he could keep the rest of his life.

      I would raise this new baby and love it, even though it means losing Phee.

      I stayed in bed for a long time, just watching him. Phoenix slept soundly beside me, my fingers clenched in his hand. My other hand rested on my belly, stroking it in an absent minded way. For the first time in a number of days, I was feeling at peace.

      It didn’t last long.

      The pain in my lower back was getting worse, so I kissed Phee’s head and slipped out of his grip so I could rummage through the bathroom for pain meds. I realized as I walked across the room that I was sweating and I had to peel my tank top away from my skin. I really didn’t feel well and I prayed I wasn’t getting sick on top of everything else; if I was, I’d need to avoid Phoenix. I didn’t want him getting sick too: he’d been so miserable last time.

      I ran the tap and splashed some cold water on my face, checking my reflection as I patted my skin dry. I looked like I was dying again. The shadows under my eyes were back, darker than Nathan’s on a hunting day. That couldn’t be a good sign. Experimentally, I lifted my shirt. Not only were all the veins back and more prominent than ever, my skin looked purple and bruise-like near my pelvis.

       “What the fuck—“

      That was when the first contraction hit.

      My stomach clenched so hard that it forced the air out of my lungs and I staggered to my knees, gripping the countertop for support. It wasn’t just a cramp squeezing my abdomen, it was a contraction, I was sure of it. You weren’t supposed to have those unless you were giving birth. I knew it was a bad sign and I forced my pants and underwear down my legs, scrambling to get on top of the toilet. I had just sat down when another contraction hit and I heard a trickle hit the water. I looked down between my ankles and saw that my underwear and thighs were covered in blood and silvery venom.

      I was miscarrying.

      The pain was immense; it felt like a giant hand was wrapped all the way around my middle, clenching. I squeezed the countertop with one hand and kept the other clamped over my mouth. I didn’t want to cry out and wake Phoenix. If he came looking for me, what was I going to tell him was happening?

      I wanted Nathan with me, but he was hunting. He said he would pick up if I called but my phone was in the other room on the night stand. I thought again of my beautiful son, sleeping peacefully on the other side of the open bathroom door, and I knew I wouldn’t risk shouting for my husband or Viktor, either. I shut my eyes and pretended the cool slate in my hand was one of them, comforting me.

      The whole ordeal took twenty-five minutes. I thought it ought to have lasted longer, but I suppose really it had. I’d been in pain almost as soon as I had morning sickness. My back pain, specifically, had started early in the day; it had worsened over the last hour. I’d had no idea what it was. I thought maybe it was just another side effect of the kind of child I’d been carrying. I thought that Bella just hadn’t told Carlisle how bad this hurt, but I had no idea she just hadn’t felt it. I had no idea that it meant I was losing my baby.

      I’d been pregnant for less than two weeks and already I had thought of the slight slope of my belly as my baby. It was _our_ baby, Nathan and I. Our son. But as I sat doubled over with my forehead on my own knees, shaking and sweating, I knew that dream was over.

      I felt sick to my stomach because, now that it was out of me, I already felt stronger. I had not planned for the baby, I wasn’t ready for it, and I very well may not have survived it. But I still felt guilty that I felt better not to have it in me.

      I didn’t really know what to do then. Everything seemed to be finished and so I sat up, looking down at my own abdomen. The veins had vanished and I started crying. I didn’t need that many different confirmations that Nathan and I’s child was gone; all I had left of it was the bruise under my naval. I peeked between my thighs, not at all sure what I might see. I prayed it wouldn’t be a tiny little face and it wasn’t; just a pool of red and silver beneath me.

      I flushed the toilet and stood up.

      Blood and venom dripped slowly down the inside of my legs and I did my best to wipe it off. I didn’t know much about venom, but I knew enough to be careful with it. I stepped into the shower and sprayed it all off my skin. I felt unclean, even as I cleared it away, so I ran a bath instead. I added all the soaps whose scents I liked best. I drizzled essential oils in the water and made sure the bubbles spread in an even froth. I laid out my favorite soft towels where I’d be able to reach them, stripped off my tank top and bra, got into the tub, and starting sobbing.

      I’m not sure how long I stayed like that, knees hugged to my chest and tears flowing freely into the scented water, but I was eventually interrupted by Phoenix.

       “Mommy,” he said, standing in the door way. “Are you crying?”

       “Yeah, honey, I am,” I admitted, sticking an arm out of the tub toward him in case he wanted it.

       “Are you in the tub?”

       “Yes.”

       “Can I come in?”

       “Sure,” I said, smiling slightly. “Walk forward, you’ll find my hand.” He stuck out his own arm in front of him and shuffled slowly forward until our fingers met. I helped him find the edge of the tub and he held onto it as he pulled his clothes off. Once he was ready, I helped him climb in.

       “It smells good,” he said, gently running his hands through the bubbles. “I like the big tub.”

       “I know you do,” I laughed, rubbing the warm water across his shoulders and arms. He liked our shower and our tub much better than his own. He took a step toward me, hands out, and I leaned forward so he could find my face. I thought he was wondering about my expression, but he latched his arms around my neck and sat down in my lap, hugging me tight.

       “It’s okay,” he whispered. “It’s okay if you have to cry. I’ll sit with you.”

      I couldn’t even manage a response, but I wrapped my arms around his little body and held him close. He settled his head against my shoulder and let me keep crying. Phoenix was more than I would ever deserve; I had no idea when or where he’d learned to be so perceptive and so kind. I was supposed to be the one taking care of him and here he was, gently patting my back while I mourned the loss of the sibling he’d never known about.

      Having him against me, feeling him kick his feet under the water, smelling the musk of his hair, I started to come back to myself. I had lost a second child; I had not lost the best thing in my life. My tears slowed down gradually until they stopped altogether. Phoenix asked me if I would wash his hair and I told him I would. He floated on his back in the middle of the tub and it made me laugh.

      Once he was washed and rinsed, he’d had enough of the water. He also wasn’t willing to let me soak in a bathtub and mope, so he demanded that I get out too. I put on a robe and then helped him dry off and comb out his hair. Then, I wrapped him in a towel and carried him to his room to get his pajamas on.

       “Do I have to wear them?” He asked, listening to me open a drawer.

       “I mean, if you’re very opposed, you can skip them.”

       “I wanna sleep naked, please.”

       “You may,” I laughed, taking his hand and walking him back to his bed. I helped him under the covers and he giggled, pulling them up to his chin.

       “This feels weird,” he said. “My butt’s on the sheets.”

       “Tell me how you liked it in the morning,” I replied, kissing his forehead. “I love you, little one.”

       “I love you too, mommy.” He blew a kiss in my general direction and I told him goodnight. I closed the door to his room, remembering to shut his light off even though it wouldn’t bother him. I loved my son so much my heart felt too full; I was glad I was staying with him. There was no immediate risk of my death now.

      When I walked back into my room, Nathan was standing in the doorway to the bathroom; I jumped when I saw him, actually clutching my chest for a moment.

       “ _Dios_ …” I breathed, closing the door behind me. He had my bloody clothes in his hand and a deep furrow between his eyebrows; he looked scared.

       “What happened?”

       “I lost it.”

      He stared at me for a moment and then down at the ruined leggings in his hand and shook his head, still not understanding.

       “The baby,” I clarified, hugging my arms around myself. “I lost it while you were gone. I…I miscarried.” He did a double take then, between me and my soiled clothes, before he threw them down like they’d shocked him. He stared at my blood on his fingers, his other hand over his mouth in horror.

       “I’m…I’m sorry, Nathan,” I muttered. “There was nothing I could do, I was—“

       “Alone.”

       “What?”

      He looked back at me and I knew if he’d been able to make them, there would have been tears in his eyes. “You were _alone_ ,” he whispered. “Aeva, love, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me; I should have been here. You shouldn’t have had to…I…g-give me a moment.” He moved quickly then, but not at top speed; I had a feeling that was because he was in shock. But he washed his hands and cleaned the bathroom, disposing of my bloody clothes and scrubbing down all the surfaces my blood had touched with bleach. When he was done, I was leaning against one of our bedposts and he was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, clasping and unclasping his hands.

       “Aeva, may…may I…” He opened his hands and gestured slightly at me. I smiled and nodded and he was wrapped around me in an instant, arms holding me tightly to him and face nestled in my hair. I started crying again and hugged him back.

       “I’m sorry, Nathan.” His breathing was jerky and I realized he was crying too. I hugged him tighter, acutely aware of how I was no longer strong enough to make his skin give way. “I’m so sorry I lost the baby.”

       “Please stop apologizing,” he whispered. “It’s not your fault, love. I’m so glad you’re alright.”

       “Are you sad it’s gone?”

      He sighed and lifted his head, staring down at me. “I…I suppose yes and no. I had been looking forward to having a baby with you but that…that was a selfish thing. The only reason I wanted it at all was because it would have been a mix of us. I wanted to see a part of you and a part of me living and breathing.”

       “I wanted that too.”

       “But Aeva it might have…you might not have made it and I…I just…” He kept me pressed against him with his left arm, but he put his right palm against my cheek. I turned to kiss his hand and he moved it to the back of my head, bringing my mouth to his instead. He kissed me, slow and deep, and I was glad he was holding me up. He was making me dizzy and I clung to him, both hands clenching his shirt. He hadn’t kissed me like this in weeks.

      When he pulled away, I was breathless and he rested his forehead against mine. “I thought I lost you,” he whispered.

       “When you found the clothes?”

       “No, when you tricked Aro. I thought I had lost you and Phoenix and I…I wanted to die, Aeva. I’m sorry we won’t get to see our baby, but I’m so glad…I’m so glad it can’t hurt you now. It can’t take you from me. I couldn’t…I couldn’t survive that again.”

       “Nathan,” I breathed, taking his face in my hands. “Oh, Nathan…I’m so sor—“

       “Don’t apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong. Just stay with me. You ask me all the time, now I’m asking you. Please stay with me.”

      He didn’t have to tell me we weren’t trying again. We wouldn’t have a child together. He was begging me not to ask it of him and I wouldn’t dare force it. I blinked away a few fresh tears and nodded, pulling his forehead back down to mine. “Okay,” I said. “I’ll stay. I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m meant to be with you, so that’s where I’ll be. I’ll stay with you.”

       “Thank you.”

       “I love you, Nathan.”

       “I love you too, Aeva. I love you so much.”


	14. Worried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A big brother always worries

###  _Manuel_

      I had sorted out my feelings about Nathan years ago: I liked him. I trusted him, too, but I knew he was still hiding something from us. I knew it was something big. But he loved Aeva like no one else could, and that’s what I tried to focus on.

      I watched them, sometimes, when they didn’t know I was looking. There were little things about the way they moved around one another that I noticed. For instance, Nathan always seemed to know exactly where Aeva and Phoenix were, even if he couldn’t see them. He was so good with Phoenix, too. He was good with all the kids, really, and they would pile on him whenever they got the chance. Phoenix clearly owned him though, the same way the little dude owned Aeva; he was in very good hands. The way Aeva owned Nathan, though, was different. It had been changing recently too.

      They used to just be in love. That was all you could see on them when she first brought him around. The two of them were in love and just wanted to stare at each other all the time. I was worried when everyone started treating them like they were committed to each other right from the get go; I didn’t buy it until Nathan went missing. When I had woken up to hear my little sister screaming, I thought he was murdering her and I busted into her room ready to kick his ass. But she was alone and everything around her was destroyed and something—either God or instinct—told me she needed him back. To make Aeva better, I needed to find Nathan and bring him to her. That’s when I started to get it.

      I still didn’t really _get_ it, but I knew those two were inseparable. Not in the way they used to be, like infatuated teenagers, but in a real, deep way. You could _not_ separate them from each other; God save the soul that tried it. Papá had seen it too, much sooner than the rest of us. But he couldn’t see what I’d been seeing over the past few months.

      I thought about what I’d seen just a few days ago when they’d been on the back patio together. They thought no one had been looking, but I was. I’d seen Aeva sit down but Nathan didn’t, even though there were plenty of chairs. He crouched down in front of her so he was looking up at her face. Nathan was strong and tough and there was something about him that told me he could be ruthless when he needed to be; Nathan was something very powerful. But Aeva could stare him down. They weren’t just in love and they weren’t just married, they were partners.

      She’d asked if they could come over to Holly and I’s house for Phoenix’s birthday. The little dude was turning five and all of the niños were excited for the party. We’d already done cake and presents and they were all playing with Phoenix’s new Legos together. Lola had been jealous when she found out that Lupe had gotten to spend time with Phoenix; now she was puppy guarding him from her cousin. Mercedes and Chuy had decided to build the tallest tower they could, though, so she was torn between guarding Phoenix and knocking it down.

      Holly was in the kitchen cleaning up the paper plates and Frida was leaning against the doorway with me, a mug of tea in her hands.

       “Hey, can we just…get all of you together for a second?” Aeva asked, Nathan standing silently behind her. She nodded behind Frida and I and we went into the kitchen. Holly seemed confused but came over when I gestured to her.

       “Aeva and Nate want to talk to us,” I explained.

       “Oh, okay, what for?” Holly said, smiling.

       “We just have a kind of…um…favor to ask.”

       “Usually favors are things you ask over the phone,” Frida said. “This sounds like it’s going to be something hard to do and I almost already want to say no.”

       “Just let me talk,” Aeva sneered, shoving her arm. “It’s about…well, Phoenix. Nathan and I just…need to talk to you guys about it.” Everyone caught the strange tone of her voice and shut up, taking seats at the table. We were listening. Aeva opened her mouth and closed it again, then turned to Nathan for help.

       “First of all,” he began, “thank you for letting us speak to you; we know it can be hard to meet like this.” Always Mr. Manners.

       “You’ve got us; what’s this about?” I asked.

       “It’s about…it uh…” Aeva thought for a moment before speaking again. “Remember the conversation we had, a long time ago, about Nathan? About how he’s…different?”

       “Yes,” Holly said quietly. Everyone remembered _that_ conversation. We had all moved past the initial discomfort, but the general unease of that talk was still very present for all of us.

       “Phoenix isn’t Nathan’s son,” Aeva continued, setting her hands in her lap. I saw Nathan’s arm move and I knew they had their fingers laced under the table. “I mean, he is and he isn’t. Nathan didn’t make him. But we…um…we almost had another baby. We almost had _Nathan’s_ baby.” The gravity of this statement sent a chill around the table.

       “Almost?” Holly asked, gripping my arm. She was nervous and I put my hand over hers; I was nervous too. Uneasy.

       “Aeva miscarried,” Nathan said. He was looking straight at us, but Aeva looked down. He was sort of…happy, then, that she’d lost the baby and a knot formed in the pit of my stomach. I looked at Frida, wondering if she was feeling what I was. She had her mug in her hands, but her knuckles were white.

       “So what do we need to know?” She asked. “I assume this is another need-to-know thing, like how Aeva knows all about you, but we just get the basics. So what are the basics?”

       “You’re right,” Aeva said, looking grateful. “It’s need-to-know. The first thing you need to know is that Nathan and I won’t try again; we’re not going to have any more children.”

       “But why not?” Holly asked. “Was something wrong with the last one?”

       “It was exactly as it should have been,” Nathan said firmly. “Aeva wasn’t sick at all a few weeks ago; that was coming from the baby. If the pregnancy had gone to term, we expect it would have been quite hard on her.”

       “I wouldn’t have looked…cute by the end.”

       “How hard are we talking?” Frida asked. “Because my pregnancies were ‘hard’ on me. For real, what could have happened to her?”

       “Well, I’d look really sick and I—“

       “She could have died,” Nathan said, eyes locked on Frida’s. “That’s what you’re asking and yes, that’s what could have happened. Apparently, with people like me and people like her, that’s what usually happens. My father and I were doing everything we could to keep that as small a risk as possible, though.”

       “Viktor was helping with this?” I asked. Nathan’s father made my heart beat faster; I still wasn’t sure about him.

       “Yes, he helped a lot, actually,” Aeva replied, nodding.

       “If you knew she could die,” Frida said, “and if she was going to get to sick, why did you two do it? Why have a baby if it’s so dangerous?”

       “We didn’t know,” Aeva said apologetically.

       “I didn’t know I could,” Nathan clarified. “I thought…I thought I wasn’t able.”

       “What do you mean you thought you weren’t able? Did you get snipped?” Frida managed to make me smirk, even in this situation. Nathan didn’t smile though, and that was odd. Usually he was the first to laugh.

       “No, no, it’s not that. We can’t…people like me can’t have children. We, um, we’re sterile.”

       “Obviously not.”

       “He didn’t know,” Aeva snapped, glaring at our sister. “It’s not a normal thing for someone like him to be with someone like us. He didn’t know it would happen; neither of us did. But it won’t happen again; we’re making sure of that. I just wanted you to know why I was sick because I know you all noticed. I’m going to lie to everyone else and tell them it was a stomach bug; I wanted you to know the truth.”

      We all sat in silence for a moment. I couldn’t read the expression on Frida’s face, but Holly seemed to be thinking what I was. It was scary that something had happened to Aevita, but I was glad she’d told us the truth. Her life seemed to run on secrets ever since she’d met Nathan and she’d just trusted us with a big one. I would keep it for her. I couldn’t be sure about Frida though.

       “Is there anything else?” I asked after a long while. Aeva wasn’t facing Nathan, so he didn’t see her eyes move, but she looked in his direction real quick. I’d seen that before, when we were little. She did that when she wanted to talk about someone, but they were in the room. She was going to ask Nathan to leave, I could feel it.

       “Holly,” she said, “Nathan, can you both…can we just have a minute as siblings?”

       “Oh,” Holly said, surprised to be addressed. “Um…sure. Absolutely. Nathan, do you want to take the kids for a walk to the park with me?”

       “Sure,” he replied, smiling and rising smoothly from his seat. He always moved so smoothly, like water. “Frida, do you mind if yours come with us?”

       “Take ‘em,” she shrugged. “But don’t bring Chuy back unless you wear him out.”

       “Yes ma’am.”

      He and Holly walked into the living room and helped all five little ones put on their jackets and shoes. Phoenix chose to use his cane and hold Mercedes’ hand. Chuy and Lupe were shoving each other, but Nathan intervened, taking their hands to strategically separate them. Holly set Lola in the stroller and gave me one last look before they all left together, shouting I love you’s back at us.

       “People are gonna think those two are the new Brangelina,” Frida snorted after they’d left. “Two gringos and a bunch of brown kids.”

       “Five kids is so many,” Aeva laughed.

       “It’s only one more than we grew up with.”

       “We grew up with five,” I laughed. “We had our little Mickey.”

       “Ay, I forgot about that!” Frida laughed, slapping my arm. “We called Miguelito _Mickey_.”

       “His front teeth were so big when they came in, he looked like a mouse,” Aeva said, grinning. “He had it coming; he called me Aevita la Gordita.”

       “Okay, but you _were_ a fat little kid.” Frida shrieked as Aeva swung at her, harmlessly pushing her head. “Basta, bruja,” she laughed, kicking Aeva under the table. “You were there too; you know I’m right.”

       “Hermanas,” I groaned, getting both of them to look at me. It was just like dinner time back home when we were younger. I felt like my fifteen-year-old self again, trying to wrangle my thirteen and ten-year-old girls. Lidia would have been six and egging them on from her spot in my lap. Papá had let me be in charge of them sometimes; they listened better to me. He only stepped in when they managed to get me to join in, and they were very good at pressing my buttons, so he usually had to step in.

       “Manuel, your hairline is receding,” Frida said, reaching up and tugging my hair. “They have a cream for that, you know.”

       “Leave my head alone,” I snapped, slapping her hand. “My hair is just fine. Papá didn’t go bald.”

       “Tío did,” Aeva pointed out. “And besides, you get that from your mom’s side. The men in her family only have hair around the edges.”

       “Shut up, both of you,” I laughed. “Aevita, what other secrets do you have for us?”

       “Oh, there’s more?” Frida turned to face our little sister, eyebrows raised.

       “It’s just…Frida quit making that face!”

       “Hermana!” I said, pinching the back of Frida’s arm. “Quit being annoying. Let Aeva talk.”

       “Nathan and I never picked god parents for Phoenix,” Aeva sighed. “And normally, I wouldn’t worry about it, but after this whole pregnancy scare—“

       “Pregnancy _death_ scare,” Frida corrected. I didn’t pinch her for that.

       “—it made me think harder about what would happen if Nathan and I couldn’t take care of him anymore.”

       “Have you talked about this with Nate?” I asked.

       “Yeah, a little. We just mostly have the idea that he’d go to Mamá, but…I don’t want to make Mamá do that. She’s raised her kids, you know?”

       “We’ll take him,” I said instantly. “Me and Holly. We’ll take Phee if you need us to, absolutely. But what about Nathan? I mean, even if you died wouldn’t he…you know…be around?”

       “If I died having a baby, sure,” she nodded. “Of course. He would keep Phoenix and the other one if it made it.”

       “Are you worried something is going to happen?” Frida asked, all levity gone from her voice. When Frida was serious, it meant she was scared. “Why isn’t Nathan here for this? Are you worried he’s going to _do_ something?”

       “No, he’s doing everything he can to keep us safe,” Aeva replied, also very serious. She was telling us cold truth and I believed that Nathan was protecting her as best he could. I believed that with my whole body. “But we…we’re not getting a lot of help from his, uh, from people like him. There have been some scary times for us and if they happen again…we just need to know Phoenix has somewhere to go. Thanks, hermano.”

       “Yeah, of course,” I nodded. “Is this scary stuff you’re talking about, like, an immediate risk?”

       “I don’t know,” she confessed. “It surprised us last time. It could happen again; it might not happen at all. Right now, we’re flying pretty low under the radar. But again, this doesn’t make it back to Mamá or the others.”

       “I’m going to tell Liddy,” Frida announced. “She needs to know just as much as we do.”

      Aeva looked at her, a crease between her eyebrows, but she nodded. I thought she might protest, but she gave in without a fight. I didn’t know quite why, but that worried me even more. We kept things from Lidia all the time. She was just so young, she couldn’t always understand. Aeva had always had a bad habit of telling Liddy more than she should, but she’d grown out of it as she got older. This was a big secret and Aeva was alright with it going to la hermanita. This whole situation felt like Aeva was getting her affairs in order. It felt like she was dying, but she wasn’t. She’d said so herself.


	15. Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan falls in love again and gets to be normal for a bit.

###  _Nathan_

  
  
            Being human is horrible. Humans can die at any time for almost any reason. But humans are also hard headed, stubborn, and bizarrely unafraid of death. Of the list of things that can kill them, some are more likely than others and those are often the ones they volunteer for. They seek out skydiving and mountain climbing and owning large animals and having children. The thought of it made me feel sick. Being human was horrible, but _not_ being human and loving one was torture.  
  
            I had never meant to, but I’d inflicted one of those potentially deadly scenarios on Aeva. Not only was childbirth statistically life threatening for women, the kind of child she would have had with me was historically a death sentence. The only woman ever known to survive it was Bella and she’d had to be turned into a vampire. I had been with Aeva long enough that having feelings about feelings had become natural again, but the past few weeks had been appalling.  
  
            I had wanted that child so badly; I’d wanted to make something with Aeva like I’d never wanted anything before. But it could have killed her. It might not have, but the chances of her losing her life to our child were much higher. I had been taking care of her as best I could and I had been completely committed to keeping her alive but when she lost it…  
  
            I’d smelled her blood in the house, but I heard her with Phoenix. I figured it was just some sort of mishap like when he’d gotten sick. I couldn’t make sense of what I found in the bathroom. There were bloody clothes on the floor and I could smell it in the shower and the tub like she’d washed it away. My brain just couldn’t piece together why she would have bled so much.  
  
            Aeva had miscarried and I was heartbroken and elated in equal proportion.  
  
            As committed to Aeva’s survival as I had been in her brief pregnancy, I was now every bit as committed to responsible condom usage. _That_ had been a struggle. Following the miscarriage, I had promptly decided that Aeva and I would be living the rest of our lives in celibacy. Aeva’d had different ideas.  
  
            She’d left it alone for about two months before she’d climbed into bed and slid her hands under my shirt. She was so good about giving me time and space when I needed it and I had certainly needed it then. I didn’t think I would ever fully forgive myself for what I’d almost put Aeva through, but I knew I would come to terms with it eventually. Aeva and I had become so much more affectionate, but also much more chaste. That night, though, she had curled up against my side as she did every night. When she leaned up to kiss me, she put her hand behind my head and sighed against my lips.  
  
            She’d missed me.  
  
            It was always a balancing act between us, but I supposed that’s what marriage was anyway. We fluctuated between prioritizing my needs and her needs. When we’d found out she was pregnant, all of her needs had rocketed to the top of our list. We were going to do whatever she wanted done. Following her miscarriage, the focus between us had shifted back to me. She had fully understood that I was feeling guilty about everything she’d gone through and she was honoring my request that we not try again. She and I had both needed to be close to each other and to be relieved together, but it had meant something different for me. I had been right beside her for weeks and we’d been so focused on me, doing what I needed, that I hadn’t even realized that she missed me. I pressed back into her kiss as a sort of apology.  
  
            She took it as an invitation and her hand moved to my hip. In a few seconds, it was sliding up my back. At first I wanted to pull away but feeling her rough, scratchy palm against my skin touched something deep and dormant in me: I had missed her, too. The internal war began immediately. I wanted her to do as she pleased because I wanted it too; I always wanted Aeva to have me in any way she cared to take me. But I also desperately needed us to stay celibate until we both died just to be sure we’d never risk another Halfling.  
  
            I needed her. I needed her to stop. I needed her. I needed her to stop.  
  
            I hadn’t made a decision when Aeva pulled away and laughed at me. “Are you in pain?”  
  
            “No, I’m fine.”  
  
            “Alright, well your _face_ looks like you’re in pain.”  
  
            I groaned and rolled onto my back and she smiled, climbing on top of me so that she was laid on my chest, chin resting on her crossed arms. I still had my shirt on, which was sort of a personal victory for me. “Aeva,” I sighed. “Shut your eyes please.”  
  
            “Alright,” she obliged. “Am I getting a surprise?”  
  
            “No, I just can’t have you staring at me.”  
  
            “Why can’t I look at you?”  
  
            “Aeva, how long have we been together now?”  
  
            “Um…Phoenix turned five last month and we got together a while before that. Six years?”  
  
            “Exactly six years in a month and a half.”  
  
            “Six years and I’m not allowed to look at you?”  
  
            “Six years and you don’t know how much it gets to me when you stare!” I laughed, twirling her hair around my fingers. “If I’m going to think, I can’t make eye contact with you.”  
  
            “Fine, fine,” she sighed, shifting so she was leaning her face into her hands, palms pressed over her eyes. “Why are you making faces while we kiss?”  
  
            “Why were your eyes open?”  
  
            “Don’t be evasive, young man.”  
  
            “Young? I’m—“  
  
            “—two-hundred-and-eighty-one.”  
  
            “I’m old.”  
  
            “You are,” she agreed, peeking through her hands to smile at me. “Why were you making faces?”  
  
            “Because I don’t…want…”  
  
            “Oh,” she said, suddenly serious as she dropped her hands to my chest. “If you didn’t want to, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to…”  
  
            “No, no, I _want_ to, but I don’t…I don’t want you to get pregnant again.”  
  
            “We have ways to avoid that, you know.”  
  
            “But even with those was can’t be _sure_.”  
  
            There was a gentle thud when her forehead hit my sternum. She was frustrated with me, but she didn’t press it. Not that night. She simply crawled up and kissed me again. “Is this alright?” She asked.  
  
            “Yes. Come back here.”  
  
            She didn’t push past my boundaries at all that night, but I knew it was coming. Aeva had always been my favorite person I’d ever known; I had never loved anyone as deeply as I loved her. I loved her because of who she was, and a key component of who she’d been since I’d met her was that Aeva loved me. She showed it a thousand different ways, and I was saying no to one of our favorites. She would ask again and I wasn’t sure what my answer would be. I didn’t know if this was the sort of thing that I needed to work through to build my confidence, or if I was in the right to keep avoiding it altogether.  
  
            Phoenix, for his part, was happier than ever. He hadn’t figured out what had happened to Aeva the night she miscarried and he was enjoying being five years old. His classes were just the right amount of challenging for him and he came home every day with so many new things to tell Aeva and I about. He was learning and he _loved_ it. I felt like Lidia had been right when she said Phoenix would grow up to be the smartest one in the family.  
  
            When he was home, Aeva and I listened to him talk. When he was in school, Aeva worked. The things she’d been making lately were incredibly beautiful. She was finding her voice as an artist, just like her idol Frida Kahlo had. Her work was loud and colorful and she was in love with it. I left her to it, spending more and more of my days with Viktor. He had stayed very close and we felt like father and son in a new, genuine way. We played chess, we debated, we went for walks. Occasionally, we travelled. He and I checked on our various houses throughout the globe. He would get the odd errand from the Volturi and—although we were getting away with me not making an appearance in the throne room anymore—he would take me to complete the task.  
  
            Where Aeva’s family was concerned, she and I felt better now that Phoenix had a conclusive set of god parents. We were also making more regular trips to see them, visiting every other weekend. Holly had gone back to work and so occasionally we had Lola for the day as well, if Frida and Maria couldn’t take her. She was helping Aeva and I could see it; having Lola and Phoenix was like we’d had our baby after all because she and Phee were as close as siblings.  
  
            Everything felt sorted out and settled again. Our days were good, it was just at night that we hit our stumbling block. At night, Viktor would roam and Phoenix went to bed early and then I had to try to tire Aeva out. We watched a lot of movies and went on plenty of night hikes, but I never _really_ sapped her energy. Each night as she fell asleep against my side, I knew we had unfinished business.  
  
            Another two months after her first attempt, Aeva was successful. She wasn’t even trying, though, so as much as I’d like to say she finally toppled my resistance or somehow coerced me, that’s not how it happened. Aeva and I had left our laundry too long through sheer laziness on my part. Aeva at least had the excuse of sleep. I didn’t need to spend all night in bed, I just wanted to. I could have been doing chores, I just hadn’t been. I’d told her that morning I intended to wash everything while she was sleeping and she said she’d like to sort the clothes to help.  
  
            She was in my closet, sifting the whites and reds out of the rest of my clothing while Phoenix and I played checkers on our bed. Aeva had made him a special wooden board where the white boxes were plain white pine, but the black boxes had a layer of felt. This had a double benefit of letting him know which square was which, but it also meant the black boxes held the pieces in place while he figured out where they were, because she’d added Velcro to all of them. Instead of red and black chips, we played with circles and triangles. Phoenix always preferred the circles because the triangles didn’t have enough corners for everyone in his family; they were missing one for Viktor. The circles “fit everyone.” Not only was he painfully sweet, he was annoyingly good at checkers. By the third game, I didn’t have to let him win anymore; it was genuinely a toss up.  
  
            “Mom!” He shouted. “I got a triple jump!”  
  
            “That’s my guy,” she praised, shifting over to her closet. “Kick dad’s butt.” Phoenix had shifted his language since going to school; Aeva and I were now “mom” and “dad.” For bad dreams or particularly noisy thunderstorms, though, we were still mommy and daddy. That was our secret though.  
  
            “I’ve got him trapped in two spots, mom. He can’t win.”  
  
            Aeva caught my eye from across the room and mouthed ‘Real or fake?’ I rolled my eyes and mouthed back ‘real.’ She laughed and went back to sorting clothes. Just before Phoenix could end my checkers-life, a timer went off on my phone.  
  
            “Bedtime,” I said, shutting it off.  
  
            “Can I end this game first?”  
  
            I had, in the past, been petty enough to make him wait until morning to finish me off, but I let him jump my final piece. “Put the pieces back on there,” I told him. “I’ll get your bath ready.”  
  
            “Can I shower?”  
  
            “Yes, but in your own shower.”  
  
            “Deal.”  
  
            We’d put a bar in the shower that helped Phee hold himself steady. Now he just needed help lathering; he could rinse on his own. He cleaned up our game and I let the water warm up. He found his own way into the bathroom and undressed himself while we chatted. It was such a cliché, but I thought about it all the time: he was growing up so fast. I had him cleaned, dried, and bedded down in just a few minutes. We read a story together, as per our nightly routine. He had been making a lot of decisions for Aeva, Viktor, and I regarding his care. Night time stories had become one such decision, because he had really taken to the idea of ‘fairness’ that was being taught at his school. He wanted us to have equal attention from him—or perhaps for us to give _him_ attention equally—and had created a book reading system to ensure it. We were working our way through the _Bailey School Kids_ series and he got one chapter each night. Whoever started the book with him would put him to bed each night until the book was finished. That night, it was still my turn and we read the fourth chapter of _Genies Don’t Ride Bicycles_. Before me, Viktor had read _Aliens Don’t Wear Braces_. Aeva had had the pleasure of reading the first one, _Vampires Don’t Wear Polkadots_.  
  
            As I left his room, having given him at least seven goodnight kisses, I heard Aeva making frustrated noises in our bedroom. Then she said to herself in a sing song voice, “Everything I own is dirty! The world is awful!”  
  
            I laughed and walked through the door just in time to see her disappear back into the closet having pulled something out of the dresser. I climbed into our bed and called to her, “Since when do you change in there?”  
  
            “Nathan, I am currently re-wearing clothes. Even what I have on my body needs to be washed. I’m changing in here so I can sort it right away.”  
  
            “So you’re just putting on your pajamas?”  
  
            “I’m doing my best. All of my pajamas are dirty too.”  
  
            “So what are you wear—“ I stopped short when she walked out. She had thrown her hair into a bun on the top of her head and she was carrying a laundry basket full of blue jeans on her hip and she looked irritated, but she had put on the silk, champagne colored nightgown from our honeymoon.  
  
            “Quit it with the face,” she huffed, walking past me to drop the basket by our door. “It’s what’s clean.”  
  
            I had been married to Aeva for three years and the image of her reclined on our bed that first night, her beautiful brown legs poking out from that night gown’s hem, was still one of my favorite ways to remember her. Three years later, her body was a bit different. She certainly looked very different from the nineteen-year-old I met in New York. She was twenty-four now and she had lost the softness that adolescence gave women. Her second pregnancy, rather than adding weight to her frame, had withered her a bit. She had come back from it in full, but as I watched the curve of her thighs while she moved, I saw the line of her muscle. Being a mother to Phoenix when he was an infant had required something different from her body than being a mother to him as a young boy.  
  
            She’d always had strong, rough-palmed hands, but that wasn’t where it stopped now. Phoenix had grown up and she still picked him up just as easily as she ever had. When she went to the dresser to rub lotion on her arms, I noticed how strong they were. She dropped an earring as she took it out and when she crouched to retrieve it, I saw her thighs and calves flex again. She chased and lifted our son and sobrinos; she also explored and rough housed with them. All of it had built her legs differently than they’d been before. Her stomach had never fully lost that gentle curve that her first pregnancy had given it, but I reflected on the fact that the muscles beneath it were firm. Aeva’s body had grown and matured over the years and her life had demanded that she be strong, so she was. She was firm and sturdy and in that damned night gown, I realized just how phenomenally beautiful this version of her was. She was strength and poise with an hour glass shape. I had yet to witness a life stage that didn’t look good on her, but I had gotten so used to her that I had forgotten she was exquisite.  
  
            When she turned back toward me, she made a face. “I said _quit it_.”  
  
            “The first time you wore that,” I said, still staring openly at her. “You didn’t put any underwear on.”  
  
            “I wish I was lying when I said everything I own needs to be washed but that’s what it’s come to,” she sighed, crossing her arms. “If it bothers you, I can sleep a little farther away. I know you’re not into trying—“  
  
            “Come here.”  
  
            She caught my tone and her eyebrows shot up, mouth falling slightly open. “You’re kidding me,” she said. “That’s all it took? Lingerie?”  
  
            “Take it or leave it.”  
  
            “I’ll take it,” she laughed, climbing onto the foot of the bed and crawling to meet me. She settled so she straddled my hips, my mouth pressed to hers. “I love you,” she whispered. “And I bought condoms.” It was like a second ‘I love you.’  
  
            Having her back in that way again sent a message blaring through my head: I had _missed_ her. Any turmoil I’d had left to sort through was quieted that night and I was reminded of our mate-bond. Anything that ailed a vampire could be improved by letting them be with their mate. I loved every chance Aeva got to prove to me that she really, truly was my mate. Nothing made me feel so well loved as she did. I had puzzled for a long time over how Phoenix made me feel like that too and I had come to realize it was because Phoenix came from Aeva. Everything good in my life flowed from her. Wrapped up in her like I was, I couldn’t remember how or why I’d wanted to avoid it. Aeva was mine and I belonged to her.  
  
            We were still both a bit jumpy though, and so she started on birth control immediately. It calmed our minds immeasurably. It also cleared some things out of our way and we were practically newlyweds again. I never wanted to get fully used to being married to Aeva; I always wanted times like these where she felt brand new. Viktor felt differently and was impatiently waiting for us to be “normal” again; he was irritated when she and I were infatuated with one another. I caught him smiling at us now and then, though.  
  
            We had a sort of rosy haze surrounding us for the next few months. Phoenix finished his first year of school in May. We knew he would be starting full days in the coming year, so we signed him up for extra classes and activities so he wouldn’t lose his sense of routine or get too used to being around us all the time again. Viktor called it overkill, but we were indecisive, so we’d signed up for all of it. Phee and Aeva took a mother-son dance class on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, Wednesday and Friday mornings were devoted to a children’s sculpture class, and Saturdays he and I had an introductory cooking class where we’d make lunch to bring back to Aeva. His favorite day was Monday, though, because he spent two hours before dinner in a children’s literature circle specifically for the visually impaired. He was so clever, I could hardly bear it.  
  
            One Monday, he had wanted to skip it, though, because Lola had come to spend the week with us. Mercedes was away at her first summer camp. Manuel and Holly, who were just three months away from their third due date, had asked if we could take Lola so she wasn’t lonely without her big sister. We had been more than happy to oblige, but it did make it so Phee was a little reluctant to go to the classes he couldn’t bring her to. We’d arranged for her to go to dance, sculpting, and cooking, but the literature circle was a bit out of her league. As it turned out, his literature class was at just the right time for Lola to take a nap and she was still asleep as I carried her across the park to collect Phoenix. It was sort of a grey summer’s day, so Aeva and I had decided I could surprise him by coming with to pick him up.  
  
            I had Lola in my left arm and the fingers of my right hand were threaded between Aeva’s while we meandered toward the shade tree where the class met. I was very content like that and I breathed deeply, enjoying the warm, summer scent. I was distracted by a specific smell that grabbed my attention. I had definitely smelled it before, but I had never put a name to it. I hadn’t smelled it in years, though. I knew that much. It simply stuck in my head.  
  
            I had paused when I first caught it, but kept walking. When the wind changed, I picked it up again.  
  
            “Nathan, _what_ is wrong with you?” Aeva asked. I had stopped yet again and she was getting tired of me tugging on her hand when I turned around.  
  
            “That _smell_ ,” I said. “Where is that coming from?”  
  
            “I hope you’re not planning to go hunting in this park because—,”  
  
            “No, it’s not that,” I replied, smiling a little. “It smells familiar, I just don’t know what it is.”  
  
            “I thought you never forget anything.”  
  
            “I have to know what something is to remember it. I don’t know what this is, I just know this isn’t the first time I’ve smelled it.”  
  
            “Well figure it out later,” she laughed, glancing back to Phoenix’s class. “School’s almost out.” They all had books in their laps. If they were working on Braille, Phee would no doubt be the star pupil. I breathed in again, finally able to get a firm direction the smell was coming from. It was a girl a good distance away. She was fairly tall, with brown skin darker than Aeva’s. Her black hair was cut short and boyish and, when she turned enough for me to see her face, I learned that she was named Tonya Jones, a musician from Brooklyn, and she was in the area looking for a place to settle down with her brand new fiancé, Jason Michaels. The scent I was picking up wasn’t Tonya at all; it was Jason. I’d smelled him on a few odd belongings in Aeva’s childhood room, but I hadn’t asked about it. If I could smell him now, though, it meant he was here.  
  
            “Did you find it?” Aeva asked, pulling my attention back to her. “Do you know what it is?”  
  
            “Yeah, it’s that girl,” I lied. “The one over there.”  
  
            Aeva squinted across the field and I realized Tonya was probably too far away for Aeva to see her clearly.  
  
            “Okay, I think I know who you’re pointing at,” she replied. “You’ve smelled her before?”  
  
            “I think so.”  
  
            “I wonder if _he_ knows his girlfriend knows a vampire.”  
  
            “Who?”  
  
            “That guy,” she laughed, nodding in the direction of someone approaching Tonya. They were both still too far away for Aeva to see them clearly, but when I glanced over my shoulder I saw his face. I knew exactly who that was.  
  
            “We should go,” I muttered, tugging Aeva’s hand to turn her away. “It’s rude to eavesdrop.”  
  
            “But I can’t hear anything they’re saying,” she laughed.  
  
            “I can. Come on, let’s just go and get Phoenix.”  
  
            “Nathan,” she said, pulling her arm from my grip. I could have easily forced her to keep walking, but I wouldn’t dare to. Instead, I looked at my feet and adjusted Lola. “What’s going on?” She asked.  
  
            “It’s not her I smell, it’s the person she’s with,” I said, not sure how best to frame the situation. “It’s someone you know.”  
  
            “So?” She laughed, looking back at Tonya. “I’m pretty sure you’ve only ever met Ross. Who else would you—…”  
  
            She never finished that sentence. She was staring at Tonya and her fiancé, totally frozen. I knew she couldn’t see his face, but she didn’t need to. Surely, she knew the slope of his shoulders; the muscles of his arms; the movement of his hands; the shine of his red hair. His damned red hair. Tonya leaned forward and kissed him and I turned fully toward Aeva, my eyes bleeding apologies.  
  
            “You knew,” she said quietly. “You knew he was here.” I nodded. I’d intended to keep it a secret until we’d gone home; I had hoped she wouldn’t actually see him.  
  
            “The girl is named Tonya. They’re getting married,” I said quietly.  
  
            “Good for them,” she murmured, still staring. “That’s a good thing. Did you see his face?”  
  
            “Yeah.”  
  
            “So you got his backstory?”  
  
            “Yes.”  
  
            “Is he in love?” She asked, looking up at my face. “Does he love Tonya?”  
  
            “Yes. Very much.”  
  
            “Did I come up? In his story thing, I mean.”  
  
            The words caught in my throat. I didn’t know how it was possible, but she hadn’t been a big enough event in Jason’s life for her to come up in the snippet I got from looking at him. I didn’t know how to tell her that, though. I didn’t have to.  
  
            “So that’s a no,” she laughed, looking back over at her ex and his new partner. “But he’s happy now, and that’s…good. And I’m happy now; that’s good too.” She kissed my fingers for punctuation. “I’m okay, Nathan. Really. Let’s get Phee.”  
  
            The kids were just closing their books as we reached them. Aeva dropped my hand and went straight to Phoenix. She gave him a hug and I laughed as he surprised her with a big kiss.  
  
            “Where’s ‘Nix?” A little voice asked from my shoulder. I glanced down and saw Lola’s big brown eyes looking up at me. She smiled sleepily and sat up to stretch.  
  
            “You sleep like a rock, you know that?” I teased. “We got you out of the car and all the way here and _now_ you wake up?”  
  
            “I like to sleep,” she shrugged in a very Aeva-ish way, giving me a grin. She had a lot of her aunt’s mannerisms.  
  
            “What?” She asked, cocking her head and making her dark hair tumble to one side.  
  
            “Nothing,” I smiled, kissing her head. “You’re cute is all.”  
  
            “LOLA!” Phoenix called out as he and Aeva jogged over. Lola shoved her way out of my arms, falling quite a ways to the ground. She landed harmlessly on her feet and sprinted to her cousin. Phoenix launched immediately into a much exaggerated story of his class as Aeva arranged his books in his back pack.  
  
            How could she do that? She honestly seemed to have forgotten all about Tonya and Jason, mere meters away.  
  
            “That sounds pretty great,” I heard Lola say. “I mostly just slept and ate goldfish crackers.”  
  
            “Alright niños,” Aeva laughed. “Let’s round it up. Phee, hand or cane?”  
  
            “Hand,” Phoenix said instantly. “Dad’s.” I grinned and stepped forward, taking my son’s hand as Aeva scooped up Lola. We started the walk back to the car, Aeva not even peeking at Tonya. She was staring avidly at Lola as she recounted a dream she’d had for her.  
  
            “Aeva?” A voice called.  
  
            _Damn, damn, damn_ I thought.  
  
            We were so close to avoiding this.  
  
            “Aeva Sanchez?” The voice called again. We all turned around to see none other than Jason Michaels hurrying towards us, Tonya the musician in tow.  
  
            “It’s Aeva Evanov-Wulff now, actually,” she corrected as they approached. “Did you need something?”  
  
            “Aeva,” Jason laughed, “it’s me!” Suddenly, he noticed Lola and his smile faltered. “Is that…?”  
  
            “No,” Aeva quipped, cutting that thought off. “Who’s this?”  
  
            “Oh, this is my fiancée, Tonya Jones,” Jason said, almost covering the nerves in his voice. “She’s a jazz singer and pianist. Ton, this is Aeva Sanchez.”  
  
            “Evanov-Wulff,” I interjected, a bit more sharply than was strictly necessary. Jason looked at me and his eyes bulged. He actually took a step back. Tonya gave me an appreciative once over.  
  
            “Oh, er, my mistake,” Jason stammered. “Ton, honey, this is Aeva _Evanov-Wulff_. Aeva, who’s this?” He looked at her, still wide eyed. She shifted Lola to her other hip.  
  
            “Aeva,” he said a little louder, nodding at me.  
  
            “Oh, this is Nathan,” she said, taking my hand. “My husband.”  
  
            “You’re married?” He said, seeming genuinely surprised. “I remember…I remember you said his name once, a little after we split up. So you met a while ago. When did you get married?”  
  
            “About three years ago,” she said.  
  
            “Ah, I see,” Jason nodded. “So then that one is his,” he said, pointing at Lola.  
  
            “This is Manuel’s daughter.”  
  
            “Sadie?”  
  
            “No,” Aeva said, her voice gently correcting him. “You’ve missed quite a bit, Jay. You don’t have anything to worry about, though. No one here is yours.” He threw a quick look behind him at Tonya, who shifted uncomfortably.  
  
            “Does she know?” I asked, cocking my head.  
  
            “Tonya knows everything about me,” Jason laughed heartily. As soon as it was out of his mouth, I saw it in his head: he was lying.  
  
            “That’s Lola, our niece,” I said, looking over at the girl in Aeva’s arms. She was staring at Jason as though measuring him. From the look on her face, he was not meeting standards.  
  
            “Lola?” Jason said, looking anywhere but into her critical brown eyes. “Sort of an odd name.”  
  
            “I like it,” Tonya said quietly. “I think it’s pretty.”  
  
            “Thank you,” Aeva said genially. It was clear she had no issue with Tonya. “Phoenix helped pick it out.”  
  
            “Who’s Phoenix?” Jason asked.  
  
            “I am,” Phee said, stepping out from behind my legs where he’d been hiding. “I’m Phoenix Jaime.”  
  
            “Oh, ah, nice to meet you,” mumbled Jason. It was clear he had noticed the resemblance. Tonya seemed to have picked up on it too. She flipped her gaze between Phoenix and Jason, her face a mix of surprise and budding anger.  
  
            “Nathan, can you take the kids to the car,” Aeva said suddenly. “And can you take Jason? Just for a minute.” She gave me a very meaningful look and I wasn’t sure what she intended to say to Tonya Jones, but I didn’t think it was hostile.  
  
            “Sure, love,” I said, scooping Lola off her hip. “Come on, Jason.” I leaned down and kissed my wife before we headed off with the kids.  
  
            “So, you and Aeva seem close,” Jason commented as we walked away.  
  
            “We’re married,” I snorted. Jason clearly registered the change in my demeanor and knew he and I would not be chatting. He stood beside me, clearly uncomfortable, while I put the kids in their seats. I was eavesdropping on Aeva and Tonya, watching them through the back window of the car.  
  
            “I take it Jason never told you about me,” she said, folding her arms. Tonya matched her pose and shook her head.  
  
            “He said he had a few exes, but nothing big. He didn’t say anything about a…I mean, a kid. Your little boy, he’s not…he’s not your husband’s, is he?”  
  
            “Oh, of course he is,” Aeva said earnestly. “That’s not…I don’t want you to feel like that’s ever something you need to worry about. Jason is _technically_ his father, but he doesn’t know that. Phoenix has only ever known Nathan. That’s his dad, as far as anyone needs to be concerned. I don’t want anything from Jason, don’t worry.”  
  
            “Did he know? Did he know you were pregnant?”  
  
            “Um…yeah. Yeah, he knew. That’s why he left. He wasn’t ready.”  
  
            “You look younger than him; he’s almost thirty. How old were you when he knocked you up?”  
  
            “I was nineteen and a few days. He and I were engaged, too.”  
  
            “Shit.” Tonya’s mouth was a hard line. She didn’t look pleased, to say the least.  
  
            “Hey.” Aeva’s tone was very gentle again. “Don’t worry about it, really. I met Nathan pretty much right away and he and my family helped me; I was okay the whole time. I’m sure Jason’s different now, too. If you got pregnant, I’m sure he wouldn’t—“  
  
            “He didn’t.”  
  
            “What?”  
  
            Tonya shifted her weight and dropped her eyes so she wasn’t meeting Aeva’s gaze anymore. “Jase and I have a one-year-old.”  
  
            “Oh, wow. Um…boy or girl?”  
  
            “Girl. Her name is Monique.”  
  
            “That’s his mom’s name.”  
  
            “Yep.”  
  
            They stood in tense silence for a moment before Aeva lifted her head and asked, “Can Monique see?”  
  
            Tonya looked confused but replied, “Yeah, she can.”  
  
            “Oh, okay. Phoenix can’t so I just…wanted to ask. I um…I don’t really have anything else to say to you. I mean, congratulations on your little girl and I hope your wedding is really beautiful. But, yeah, I haven’t got anything else. I just figured you might want to know who I was.”  
  
            “Yeah, I did. I appreciate you, like, telling me. It’s just…awkward.”  
  
            “Yeah, definitely. I mean, do you have any questions? Otherwise, I’ll just, um, go.”  
  
            “What do you do?” Tonya asked, cocking her head.  
  
            “Oh, I’m an artist.”  
  
            “What does your husband do?”  
  
            “He’s a…um, a chef.”  
  
            “Are you two happy? Do you ever wish it had worked out with Jason?”  
  
            “I…I’m so happy with Nathan I can’t really explain it. I mean, for a while, I wished Jason had worked out but…no. I’m honestly kind of glad it didn’t or I wouldn’t have Nathan at all.”  
  
            “Phoenix is really cute.”  
  
            “Thank you,” Aeva laughed. “We like him. Are you happy with Jason?”  
  
            Tonya smiled and patted her hair. “Yeah. Yeah, I really am. He’s a good dad.”  
  
            “I’m glad to hear that; I’m happy for you two.” She wasn’t lying. The two women shook hands and Aeva started back toward me.  
  
            “You can go now,” I said, turning to look at Jason. “They’re done.”  
  
            “Right, well, it was nice to meet you.” He stuck his hand out and I clasped it briefly.  
  
            “Cold hands,” he commented. “Aeva’s not…I mean, she’s…warm, isn’t she?”  
  
            “She is,” I agreed. He smiled, clearly remembering something, and turned to walk away. He and Aeva nodded at each other as they passed and I folded Aeva up in my arms when she reached me. She took a very deep breath, nose against my chest.  
  
            “Are you smelling me?” I asked, laughing a little.  
  
            “Yes,” she said, voice slightly muffled. “It calms me down.”  
  
            “I’m happy to help. I heard the whole thing between you and Tonya. You did well.”  
  
            “Jason has a kid.”  
  
            “I heard that, too.”  
  
            She stayed there for a minute, her arms around my waist while she breathed in my scent. Finally, she shifted, resting her chin on my chest so she was staring straight up at me. “We have a kid,” she said.  
  
            “We have a _great_ kid.”  
  
            “What are you _talking_ about?” Lola’s little voice groaned from her car seat.  
  
            “Nothing, bud,” I said over Aeva’s head. “Are you two hungry?”  
  
            “Yes!” They shouted in unison.  
  
            “I want cereal!” Phoenix yelled. “Captain crunch!”  
  
            “Pizza!” Lola demanded.  
  
            “Wait, I changed my mind,” Phee nodded. “I want pizza too!”  
  
            “Pizza it is!”  
  
            We drove them to our house and I made homemade pizzas for all of them. That night, we tucked Lola and Phoenix into the queen sized bed in the guest room; they were allowed to sleep in the same room on a probationary basis. They knew I had good hearing though, and didn’t seem overly keen to try anything on the first night.  
  
            When Aeva and I went to bed, she didn’t have anything to say about Jason. “I meant what I told Tonya,” she said. “I’m happy with you.” It was nice to have any and all things Jason Michaels squared away. I doubted that he and his little family would in fact buy a house in our area; he didn’t seem too keen on the idea of running into me at the grocery store. We didn’t keep tabs on him and Tonya either; Aeva and I just let them sort of vanish. It felt nice.  
  
            The rest of that summer was uneventful. Phoenix’s time in his sculpture class produced an incredibly high volume of bizarre looking artifacts. He always chose bright colors that were exactly his mother’s favorite color palette, you just couldn’t really be sure what he made at the beginning. His ceramics work was more identifiably a mug, though it couldn’t hold water. He clearly had a unique style though, and Aeva was confident it would develop into something interesting.  
  
            When September rolled around, it was time for Phoenix to begin first grade. We took Viktor with us to drop him off his time and Viktor ended up being more embarrassing for him than Aeva or I combined. Aeva and I settled on a few things as well. She was going to have her tubes tied once she turned twenty-five. For whatever reason, the doctors wanted her to wait until she was thirty, but that was the age we’d haggled them down to. She would also begin classes at the Chicago Institute of Design when Phee started second grade. She was already working on her application portfolio. Holly had her third baby—another girl—in August of that year. Phoenix was nonplussed about baby Anita, but Aeva and I enjoyed getting to fawn over an infant again. We were also only further cementing ourselves as the babysitters of choice within the family.  
  
            The year slid past us in its usual haze. Halloween was particularly enjoyable because now that there were six little ones, there were enough kids to do a complete set of Power Rangers, now including the White Ranger. Phoenix got to be the blue one and he was quite pleased. Viktor attended family Christmas that year and Maria surprised him with a sleek looking fountain pen and wax sealing kit.  
  
            In what seemed like no time at all, it was my favorite day of the year: January 23. Phoenix was officially turning six. Viktor had decided not to come to the party at Maria’s house, as he knew he made the kids nervous. When we came back though, Aeva and I’s arms laden with Phee’s gifts, our son rushed through the door from the garage and shouted into the house, “Papa Viktor!”  
  
            Aeva and I shuffled inside, setting everything on the dinner table, before she looked at me. I tapped my ear and shook my head, letting her know I couldn’t hear Viktor. She took Phee’s hand and said, “It’s late, bud. It’s past ten. I bet Papa Viktor’s asleep.”  
  
            “Oh. Okay.” He looked very sad, so I stepped forward and snatched him up, tossing him in the air so he burst out laughing.  
  
            “Little guy, you’re getting too big,” I said, catching him as he came back down. “Soon you’ll have to throw _me_ in the air.”  
  
            “Not yet, though.”  
  
            “Not yet,” I agreed. “Why don’t you try throwing Papa Viktor in the air when you talk to him tomorrow. He’s smaller than me.”  
  
            “He is?”  
  
            “No,” Aeva laughed, getting in position so Phee could get on her back. I helped settle him in her grip and he laughed, hugging her around her neck. “Papa Viktor and daddy are the same size.”  
  
            “Mom, it’s _dad_ ,” he groaned, sounding embarrassed.  
  
            “I’m dad?” I sighed. “Even on your _birthday_?”  
  
            “Yes, even on my birthday. That’s only for emergencies.”  
  
            “Am I still big guy though?”  
  
            He smiled and hid his face in Aeva’s hair. “Yeah, you’re still my big guy.”  
  
            “In that case, good night. I’m glad you’re six now. I love you, little guy.”  
  
            “Goodnight, I love you too, big guy.”  
  
            Aeva laughed and carried Phee to his room to tuck him in. I waited in our room and listened to the pair of them giggling together. I hoped Phoenix knew how lucky he was to have her as a mom. Aeva climbed into Phee’s bed to read to him; she was the only one of us small enough to do so. If the chapter was particularly long, though, she’d have to get out and sit on the floor or the pair of them would overheat.  
  
            After his chapter and a long, drawn out goodnight speech from both of them, Aeva was finally excused from his room. She came into our room smiling and asked, “Where’s Vik?”  
  
            I made a noncommittal noise and she frowned, going to the dresser to change into a sleep shirt. “I thought he would have waited up.”  
  
            “He didn’t know when we’d be back,” I replied, pulling my jeans off. “You know he doesn’t like to be around the house at night.”  
  
            “I guess,” she sighed. “But it was his night to read and he didn’t make prior arrangements. I tried to lie and say he asked me to cover for him, but Phee saw right through me. Your dad’s going to have a very angry six-year-old to answer to in the morning. He better have a good alibi.”  
  
            “And probably a good gift.”  
  
            “Definitely a good gift,” she agreed, finally ready for bed. “Are you going hunting tonight?”  
  
            “No, not until Wednesday. Why?”  
  
            “I just wanted to know if you’ll be around all night.”  
  
            “Oh, I’ll be here,” I laughed. We got under the covers together and she snuggled into my side, falling asleep without much fuss. I wished I could have let them both sleep in extra late the next morning, but it was a Thursday and Phoenix had school. I tried to sneak out of bed to make them breakfast, but I woke Aeva. She just decided to get dressed and come downstairs with me.  
  
            “Is Vik back?” She asked, sliding into a seat at the breakfast bar.  
  
            “Nope, not yet.” I put together the ingredients for homemade cinnamon rolls and tossed them in the oven. They would take about twenty minutes and while they cooled, I would make Phoenix’s lunch and Aeva would wake him up. Our schedule wasn’t disturbed by Viktor’s absence at all. In fact, it wasn’t even strange for him not to turn up until around noon. The only think that was odd about this particular absence was Phoenix’s birthday. It was very clear to Aeva and I that Viktor liked Phee more than either of us; we didn’t hold it against him. He and Phoenix had a weird bond with one another. Viktor was full of gross, overly graphic facts on animals and history that fueled Phee’s imagination like nothing else could. Viktor would never miss a milestone in that kid’s life, no matter how minor turning six was in the grand scheme of things. It was strange that he wasn’t here this morning, waiting to take Phoenix to school or something to make up for missing the party. It made me uneasy, but I hadn’t been moved to worry just yet.  
  
            “Hey,” Aeva said, eating the piece of raw dough she’d snagged from my bowl. “Do you want to see what I’ve been working on?”  
  
            “Absolutely.”  
  
            She grinned and hopped off the stool, waiting to take my hand before we went to her studio. She had a series of self portraits sketched out on four easels. Each one showed her surrounded by various markers for each season. They weren’t necessarily realistic portraits, each one exaggerating her features in an interesting way.  
  
            “I’ve never done self portraiture,” she said, looking at them thoughtfully. “I thought I’d give it a try.”  
  
            “I like them, they’re—“  
  
            I was cut off by a sudden flurry of movement and noise just outside Aeva’s huge studio windows. A deer came careening through the brush, very nearly skidding off the cliff’s edge. It turned and ran off into the woods, but it was clearly terrified.  
  
            “What scared it?” Aeva asked, staring in the direction it had run.  
  
            “Probably a bear.”  
  
            She looked at me for a moment before she laughed and said, “Well are you going to go get the bear? We have a blind son, Nathan. We can’t just have bears lurking around.”  
  
            “Right, you’re right. I’ll go find it.”  
  
            She followed me out of her studio and back into the great room. “I’ll guard the cinnamon rolls while you’re gone.”  
  
            “Thank you for being willing to take one for the team, love.”  
  
            “I do what I must for this family.”  
  
            I laughed and went to the front door. There was fog outside. That was normal for this time of day, though usually it was thicker on the lake side of the house. I reached for the door knob when a tendril of mist snuck into the house.  
  
            _No._  
  
            The deer hadn’t been running from bears. Alec was here and he was collecting. I took a quick step back as the swirling mist started to pour into the entrance way, snaking toward my feet. I turned and started to scream for Aeva when I felt it touch my ankles and everything went black.


	16. Coerced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't go well for our favorites.

###  _Aeva_

            “AEV…”

            He’d started to yell my name, but stopped just as abruptly. I had just enough time to turn around and see him crumple in the doorway, completely motionless with mist swirling around him, before an unfamiliar set of iron arms had locked around my chest. I thought that I was going to be hauled away, but I was moved forward into the mist that was slowly covering Nathan’s body. All I could think was that Phoenix was alone upstairs and then my mind went black.

            When I woke up, I had no idea where I was. I was sitting in a chair, my body limp, but I snapped upright. My heart rate leapt to a rabbit’s pace and I looked all around the large room I was in. The floor and furniture were covered in that thick, silver mist that had buried Nathan; it was everywhere except for a circle around my ankles and I watched as it receded toward the heavy door. I had no idea what it was, but I knew enough not to touch it. I couldn’t organize my thoughts. I didn’t know enough of what was going on to know how badly I ought to panic. As the mist receded further, I saw what was in the room with me. I was seated at a desk in a wooden chair with a red velvet cushion. There was a thick Persian rug on the floor and a large black leather chaise against the opposite wall. As the mist slid away, I saw a tiny hand and realized Phoenix was laying there. I jumped up and grabbed his wrist, yanking him out of that fog and crushing him to my chest. I ran backward until I hit a wall, putting as much space between my son and that mist as possible.

            “Mom?” He asked, waking up. “Mommy, what happened?”

            “I don’t know,” I whispered, tucking his head under my chin. “I don’t know, baby, just stay quiet.”

            “But why? What’s going—“

            “Phoenix, honey, _please_ ,” I begged, smoothing his hair. “Please stay quiet.” He closed his mouth and grabbed onto my shirt, pulling two fistfuls up under his chin. I held him to me and slid down to the floor, staring around us. The walls were wood paneled, the furniture in black leather, red velvet, or dark wood. There were books, a chess set, and other things that might keep someone occupied. It looked like the study Nathan had designed for Viktor at our house; we were in some sort of a dwelling meant for vampires. It was cold here; there was a chill to the air and a slight smell of moisture that comes from prolonged shade. I had never seen them, but Nathan had told me the Volturi lived in tunnels under a city. I was absolutely certain that’s where we were.

            Phoenix and I were both breathing very quickly, but having him close to me was calming me down. The calmer I got, the calmer he got. I was listening as hard as I could, trying to figure out if anyone was on the other side of the heavy wooden door. There was only the odd hushed voice, but I sat for hours waiting for something else. Phoenix stayed quiet, but he never dozed off. He kept his eyes open and pointed at the ground. He was listening too.

            “Mommy,” he whispered. “We need dad.”

            He hadn’t asked where Nathan was, he’d told me we needed him. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Phee, what—?”

            “We need dad,” he repeated. “We need daddy and Papa Viktor.”

            What we needed was Edward Cullen. We had been banking on the fact that Phoenix didn’t know what was going on and that he didn’t know what Nathan or Viktor were. Here we were, clearly in danger, and Phoenix knew Nathan and Viktor could help us. I wanted to know why he thought that, but I didn’t dare ask why. He was his mother’s son and I had figured out what Nathan was within ten minutes of being in his apartment all those years ago; Phoenix had spent six years with Nathan. If I asked Phee what he was thinking, he would either tell me something I absolutely needed him _not_ to know, or he would talk himself to the same answer. I wished Edward were here to peek into his head. I wanted to know what was in there before Aro had a chance to pry it out; maybe there was still time to confuse him.

            I jumped as the door handle began to turn. It was silent and if I hadn’t been looking that way, I wouldn’t have noticed it at all. I made a mental note to keep an eye on the door for that very reason. I clutched Phoenix a little tighter and kicked my legs, scrambling across the floor so that we were tucked behind a velvet wingback chair.

            “You remember this room, I’m sure,” a soft voice said. I couldn’t put any other word to it but soft or gentle; it was a voice like feathers. I had never heard it before, but I didn’t dare peek out to see who was speaking. “These are your quarters, Nataniel, just as you left them. Please, enter.”

            I didn’t hear anyone move, but my heart was in my throat. _Nathan_. They had brought me Nathan. I reminded myself to stay cautious; until I had some actual proof he was in the room, I wasn’t moving. This could just as easily be a trick. Phoenix stayed silent too, his arms now locked tightly around my neck. We were both waiting.

            “Aeva?” The soft voice called. Someone growled in response. “Peace, Nataniel. I only want to be sure that she is well. Aeva, dear one?” Phoenix and I had both tightened our grip on one another the moment we’d heard my name. That voice was soft and gentle, but when it said my name it was one of the most sinister things I’d ever heard.

            “Aeva,” Nathan called. I actually gasped at the sound of his voice. “Aeva, let him see you.”

            “No, mommy, don’t,” Phoenix whispered. His hands were clammy against my skin and I kissed his head, trying to calm him down.

            “Ah, the child is also awake,” the soft voice said, sounding happy. “Come out, both of you, I mean you no harm.” Nathan growled again and I knew the voice had lied. “Very, well, Nataniel. I mean your humans no harm _in this moment_. Does that suffice?”

           There was a long pause before Nathan said, “Aeva, stand up.” I found that my legs were not cooperating. “Aro, can I go to her?”

            “You may.”

            Nathan’s feet made no noise as he crossed the room, but suddenly he was standing in front of me, hand outstretched. I could have cried. I was in some kind of dungeon and I’d spent hours being afraid and alone. Suddenly, there was Nathan; there was my husband. He was okay. There wasn’t a mark on him and he was in the same jeans and Henley shirt he’d been wearing when I’d last seem him back in our house. His curls were still a mess, his face was still perfect, and he still had his blue wedding ring on his left hand, which he was holding out to me. I reached forward and grasped it and he hauled me to my feet, immediately tucking Phoenix and I behind him.

            “There,” he said, turning back to Aro. “You’ve seen her. She’s fine.” I peered around Nathan’s arm to get a glimpse of Aro. We had talked so extensively about Aro and who he was and what he’d done and what he might do. Aro was the one that had murdered his close friend’s mate—his own sister—just to maintain his hold on power. Aro could read every thought your mind had ever had with a single touch. I’d imagined he would look imposing, but he didn’t.

            Aro stood in the doorway and his expression and smile were every bit as gentle as his voice. His black hair was very long and perfectly straight, though he had tied it back at the base of his neck with a crimson ribbon. His clothes were impeccably clean and his cloak was soft, dark fur. He looked very friendly, but he also looked frail. His eyes should have been red, like Viktor’s, but they were rheumy and clouded, so they looked pink. His white skin looked thin and delicate and I could see his veins underneath. It looked like it would tear with the slightest touch. Aro didn’t look like he could or would ever hurt anyone, and that made him all the more menacing.

            “I’m glad to see that you awoke comfortably after your travels,” he said, eyes fixed on my face. His cloudy eyes looked like they shouldn’t be able to see clearly, but I felt like they could. “Have you ever been to Italy before?”

            “No.”

            “Welcome, then, dear one. To you and your son.” Phoenix gripped my neck a little tighter and Nathan growled. Aro held up his hands and looked apologetic, but said nothing.

            “What is your intention now?” Nathan snapped. “To watch us?”

            “Not at all. I shall leave you in peace. Enjoy your time with your wife.” Aro didn’t leave right away, but took a long moment to stare at Nathan’s face. It could have been innocent, but a low hiss started coming out of Nathan’s throat; that look meant something. Aro backed away and the door slowly fell shut. We held our breaths for a long moment before Nathan whirled around and carried Phoenix and I back to the corner we’d been hiding in.

            “Are you okay?” He asked. He was running his hands over my head, fingers pressing and feeling for bumps. He went down my arms and back and sides, paying special attention to my ribs. Then he checked Phoenix over the same way. He was looking for injuries and he had a good idea of where he might find them; that worried me about what condition humans usually arrived in when they got to the Volturi tunnels.

            “Nathan,” I said, putting palm against his face. “Nathan, we’re fine. We’re not hurt. It’s okay.”

            “It’s _not_ okay,” he snapped. His face was angry for just a fraction of a second longer before he remembered who he was speaking to. Then he latched his arms around me and pulled me in, resting his head on top of Phoenix’s and turning his face into my hair. “Oh, god, Aeva, I’m so sorry.”

            “Shh, Nathan,” I soothed, stroking his back. “We’ll be alright.”

            “I don’t know how.”

            “We will be,” I said, not at all sure where the confidence in my voice was coming from. “Where were you? Where did you come from?”

            “The, uh, the throne room,” he said, lifting his head. “It’s a level higher. I talked to the brothers.”

            “What did they say?”

            “Nothing.” He shook his head and looked at Phoenix and I knew this was about to be a very difficult situation. We wouldn’t be able to talk about where we were or why we were there while Phoenix could hear. I wouldn’t risk him leaving my sight while we were here, so those moments would be hard to come by. “Are you two hungry?”

            “Yes,” Phee said, his voice very small. I suddenly realized that my stomach was empty as well.

            “They’ll bring food twice a day for you both; if it’s not enough we can ask for more.”

            “And we should eat it?” I scoffed. “It’s going to be safe?”

            “They don’t want to…they want you alive,” he sighed.

            “Why are we so hungry? How long has it been?”

            “A couple of days, maybe,” he replied. “I’m not sure. You’re both sure you’re alright? Nothings hurts? Phoenix, does anything hurt?”

            Phee finally unlatched his arms from my neck and reached for Nathan’s chest. He grabbed a fistful of his shirt and hauled himself into his dad’s lap. “Nothing hurts,” he mumbled, tucking his fists under his chin. It was his safety position; he hadn’t used it in a long time.

            “Wrap him up,” I said, taking Nathan’s arms off me and putting them around Phee’s little body. “I’m alright; hold him. He needs you.” Nathan nodded and folded around our son. He was sitting on the floor and, with his chest curved forward, head tucked down, and arms around our son, you could barely see Phoenix at all.

            We were in for it now. I didn’t know how we’d gone so long before this had finally happened. Viktor and I had fooled Aro years ago; right after that, I’d been expecting the axe to fall at any moment. But there had been such a delay, I thought surely they had forgotten about us, or perhaps they didn’t care anymore. I couldn’t imagine what had happened in the last few weeks to tip them off that we were still alive, but apparently it had been bad.

            “Where’s Papa Viktor?” Phoenix asked from where he was buried in Nathan’s embrace.

            “I don’t know, sweet,” Nathan replied. “I haven’t seen him. I thought he would be here with you.”

            “Does he even know we’re here?”

            “I don’t know, sweet,” he repeated, kissing the crown of Phee’s head. “But when he finds out, we won’t be here long.”

            “Papa Viktor will come and get us?”

            “If he is able to try, do you think anything could stop him?”

           This seemed to comfort Phee, who untucked his hands from his chin and put them around Nathan’s body. It didn’t comfort me, though. If Viktor was able to come get us, he would have. So he was either trapped or dead; maybe Nathan had lied to Phoenix about not knowing where he was. I was frustrated yet again that Nathan’s gift only functioned one way. If we could lie to each other, we could have conversations right over Phee’s head, which we very much needed to do. I wished we’d taught ourselves sign language or something that he couldn’t hear, or that we had our phones to text one another.

            We stayed in the corner for a long time, Nathan’s back to the room and mine against the wall, before Nathan finally whispered, “He’s falling asleep.”

            Apparently, Phoenix and I had been asleep for a few days but fear sapped your energy. My eyelids had been getting heavy until Nathan spoke. I shook myself awake a bit and watched him, still holding our son with his entire body. After a few minutes, he lifted his head and nodded.

            “Nathan what the fuck is going on?” I whispered. “How did they find out?”

            “They’ve known for a while,” he replied, jaw going tight. “They’ve known since Viktor had to stand witness in the Cullens’ trial.”

            “What? Why did they wait so long?”

            He looked down instead of answering me, the tendon on his jaw flexing rhythmically. The shadows under his eyes were very dark. Finally, he said quietly, “They want their own Renesmee.”

            “What?” That seemed to be my question for the time being.

            “Aro wants a Halfling in his guard,” Nathan explained. “He’s known that you and I…he said the word _fornicate_ …and he now knows that a Halfling is possible. He’s been waiting for us to make him one. When we took too long, he decided to bring us in.”

            “Where’s Viktor?”

            “He’s in the throne room.”

            “And he’s okay with this?”

           Nathan looked up at me, his black eyes furious. “They have him stuck in Alec’s fog. He would _never_ allow this.” Viktor had told me they did that. Usually it was to punish Viktor; now it was to punish his son.

            “Can we make a run for it? What would happen if you busted down the door and we ran out of here?”

            “We’re deep down,” he sighed. “We would have to go through a few levels to get out, and we’re heavily guarded. Aro won’t let us escape.”

            “So what is he waiting for?”

            “I just told you,” he laughed, no humor in his voice. “He wants a Halfling.”

            That statement knocked me back and I thudded dully against the wall. Aro wanted a Halfling. He had captured Nathan and I so that we would make him one. Aro was cruel, I knew that; now I knew he was also sick.

            “Those are his terms for our release?” I asked. “Make a Halfling and give it to him?”

            “That’s what he says, and he believes it for right now, but he knows how to get around my gift. I think he’s lying. There’s no way he just lets us go. Not all three of us.”

            “Would he let just Phoenix go? Manuel and Holly said they would take him and we had this plan last time. You and I will stay here with the Volturi. Viktor too. We can…we can raise it.”

            “We can raise it? Aeva, we’re not trying that again. You can’t seriously think we would.”

            “I _can_ seriously think that,” I snapped. “That’s how we get Phoenix out.”

            “That’s how we get you killed. There are other Halflings in this world Aro can have, he doesn’t need ours.”

            “So what do we tell him? He doesn’t seem like the kind of person that just lets you say no.”

            “He’s not,” Nathan sighed, shifting Phoenix a little. “But he can be reasoned with. It’s too dangerous for us to try again; it could kill you. I won’t do that to you and even Aro knows you can’t ask a vampire to kill their own mate.”

            “M-maybe I would just miscarry again. Maybe I can’t have Halflings.”

            “And maybe you can,” he countered. “Maybe we got lucky when you lost the first one. Maybe you die and it digs its way out of you.”

           I blanched at his graphic description and hugged my knees to my chest. “If I hadn’t miscarried, we wouldn’t be here.”

            “No.” His voice was very gentle now, the backs of his fingers brushing my cheek. “No, Aeva, the miscarriage was not your fault. None of this is your fault. And if you hadn’t miscarried, do you honestly think you could have given up a child? Our child? Could you have handed him over to Aro?”

           I remembered then that Nathan had been certain we would have had a boy. I thought about that little boy in my head, with his father’s curls and hidden dimple and my eyes. I could never have given him up. If I’d had to be turned into a vampire to have him, no one could have ever taken him from me. Nathan was right. I didn’t think I’d be able to hand over the next one either.

            “What…what if we tell Aro about the miscarriage. He should know that’s a possibility too; he should know his plan might not work, even if we try.”

            “I’m certain he already knows, love. He searched all of us when Alec had us captive.”

            “He searched Phoenix while he was asleep? Did he tell you what he found?”

            “No, he didn’t say, but you and Phoenix…you were _asleep_. I hadn’t thought about that, but that’s good. I’m glad you slept.”

            “What did _you_ do?” I asked, remembering that sleeping was no longer one of Nathan’s abilities.

            “I just waited. As a vampire, when Alec uses his gift, it’s like waiting in a void. He’s driven vampires insane by leaving them like that for too long. I’m glad it put you two to sleep.”

           My mouth fell open. “You could have been driven _insane_?”

            “I don’t know why I thought that would comfort you, I shouldn’t have said that.” He started chuckling and I joined in. We couldn’t help it. Staying in high panic mode was wearing us down and we needed to laugh. Nathan’s laugh rumbled in his chest and woke Phoenix. He smiled and, for a moment, I knew he thought we might be home. I tickled his sides and he grabbed my hands, starting to giggle. Laughing was helping to dispel our nervous energy and my outlook was improving just slightly, until Nathan’s eyes suddenly went wide and he shoved Phoenix into my lap, whirled around, and stood in a defensive crouch in front of us. We were backed into the corner and his chest was angled toward the door, legs bent, and hands out to his side, fingers positioned like claws.

           I didn’t have time to ask what was happening before I saw the door knob turn. Clearly, whoever was coming was not someone that Nathan trusted. I crushed Phee to my chest and he grabbed onto me, face buried against my neck. The door opened slowly, a set of small white fingers appearing around its edge as it was pushed wider. A very small, very beautiful girl was standing just outside. She had limp, light brown hair that hung down just past her chin as gracefully as water. Her lips were plump and pouty and her fearsome red eyes were perfectly framed by long eyelashes. She looked so young, just a beautiful child. Her eyes were on Nathan immediately. I noticed he hadn’t growled.

            “Brother Nataniel,” she said. Her voice was lovely. “Are you afraid of me?”

            “I’m always afraid of you, Janey,” he replied. There was genuine affection in his tone, but his stance didn’t change. I was wracking my brain trying to remember if I’d ever heard of a vampire called Janey.

            “I’m not here to hurt anyone,” she said, taking a small step forward. Nathan tensed and leaned slightly forward at the action and she froze again. “I know that you know I’m telling the truth, Nataniel. I have been instructed not to hurt anyone. I am to leave you and your humans perfectly intact.”

            “I believe that those were your instructions,” he allowed, “but you’re famous for going rogue.”

            “Very well,” she said, flashing a dazzling smile. “I’ll put it like this: I have no intention or desire to hurt your humans. And I don’t want to hurt you unless I have to.”

            Nathan’s silence told me she was indeed telling the truth. He didn’t move though, so her honesty wasn’t inspiring trust. Her hand moved slightly, her fingers twitching toward Nathan like she wanted to touch him. I wondered if the pair of them had once had a tryst. Her expression while she looked at him was hopeful and smitten. She was soft on him. An ardent admirer, as Viktor had once put it.

            This wasn’t Janey, this was Jane. She was Alec’s twin, she could torture someone with her mind, and she was inching into the room, trying to touch my husband. I had no idea what came over me or when I’d learned how to make the sound, but a snarl echoed out of my chest. Nathan’s leg shifted a bit closer to me, but he didn’t take his eyes off of Jane; he was a good fighter, and I’d forgotten that. When I growled, Jane looked at me. I felt emboldened and I stood up, setting Phoenix down and tucking him behind my legs.

            “Don’t touch my mate,” I said, voice low. Jane’s eyes travelled slowly up and down my whole body and her perfect pink lips pressed into a tight line.

            “So this is your human, Nataniel?” She said, still glaring at me. “She’s so plain looking.”

            Nathan let out one low laugh and I knew she’d lied. She was jealous and I didn’t know if that made me feel better or worse. I just knew it felt right to tell her off for trying to touch Nathan. He didn’t scold me for it.

            “Tell me again,” he instructed. “What are your intentions, Jane?”

            She turned her head slowly, that perfect smile creeping back onto her face but not quite reaching her eyes. “I have no intention or desire to harm your humans.”

            _Now_ Nathan growled and he had just barely shifted forward when he grunted and staggered to his knees. Jane’s eyes were fixed on him, her smile unwavering.

            “Stop!” I screamed. “Stop! Leve him alone!”

            Jane kept staring down at him, but stuck her hand out toward me. “I’m here for the boy. Give him to me and I’ll let Nataniel up.”

            I immediately felt ill and looked down at Nathan. He was on all fours with all of his muscles tensed. His jaw was tight and his eyes were squeezed shut, but he wasn’t making any sound. Phoenix’s hands dug into my leg and I put my hand on his head, looking back to Jane. How could she make me pick?

            “Nataniel has a very high pain tolerance,” she said, her eyes fiery with anger. “But, like he said, he’s always been afraid of me.” She narrowed her eyes and Nathan yelped, dropping onto his side. “Give me the boy.”

            “I…no, Jane…stop…”

            “This isn’t what I came here to do,” she sighed. “But if I must.” Nathan screamed and didn’t stop, now writhing on the ground. His eyes were rolled back into his head and spittle was forming on his mouth. He was burning in hell.

            “JANE!” I shrieked, starting to cry. Phoenix’s fingernails were drawing blood through my pants and he was crying as well; he didn’t know what was happening, but he could hear his father. “JANE STOP! STOP IT!”

            “Give me the boy!”

            “JANE!”

            “ _Fine_.”

           Nathan didn’t stop screaming, but Jane lunged at me. I dropped low, grabbing hold of Phoenix right when she did.

            “MOMMY!” He screamed, digging his fingers into my forearms as Jane pulled him away. “MOMMY, NO!”

            “PHOENIX!” I had him around his shoulders, but Jane was pulling so hard she was going to rip him in half. I knew she wouldn’t care if she did. Meanwhile, Nathan was shrieking in the background and there was nothing I could do for either of them. I was crying and I was so angry but Jane was so strong. She gave me a small shove and I went sprawling. In less than a second, Jane was gone, Nathan was silent, and Phoenix was missing.

            “Oh god,” I sobbed, curling into a ball. “Oh god, she took him.”

            “Aeva, love…” Nathan crawled over to me, pulling me up against his chest. “Aeva, hush.”

            “She took Phoenix, Nathan.”

            “I know. I know...”

            “He—he’s gone…”

            “Hush…’

            “I couldn’t stop her!”

            “Aeva, _please_.” He was choking up too. “There was nothing you could do. _I_ should have stopped her, I just didn’t—“

            “Nathan, stop!” I shouted, grabbing his face in both of my hands. “She was hurting you! How could you beat that? How could you have stopped her?”

            “I can’t,” he sighed, dropping his forehead onto my shoulder. “I can’t stop her. I can’t beat her. I never could. She didn’t do her trick to you too, did she?”

            “No, just you,” I replied, tucking my head close to his and settling my arms protectively around his neck. “What if she hurts Phoenix? Oh, god, Nathan. What if she hurts him?”

            “I don’t think she will, love,” he soothed, now setting his arms gently around me. “She wasn’t lying; her instructions were to leave you intact. Even when it comes to Jane, Aro doesn’t tolerate his orders being ignored.”

            “So they won’t hurt him?”

            “I don’t know,” he said, sounding completely defeated. “I don’t know what they plan to do to him. I’m so sorry, Aeva.”

            I hated this tone in his voice; I’d never heard it before and it sounded appalling to me. Nathan had always been so gentle, but I also knew he was a fighter; he was fiercely protective and he would have fought down an entire army for us. But he’d been beaten. If they hadn’t taken us by surprise, I just knew we would have gotten away and not just because of Viktor. Nathan knew the Volturi and their guard very well; he could have managed around Alec’s fog and Jane’s torture but he hadn’t gotten the chance. Now he felt helpless and I hated that he was right. We were fully at the mercy of the Italian family, especially now that they’d taken Phoenix from us.

            I couldn’t understand why they would want him away from us. Was it an extra punishment? Was it a security measure? Was it an incentive? That last possibility made me feel ill. _Make a new baby and we’ll give you your first born back._ It didn’t seem beyond them to do that. I also couldn’t say for certain that it wouldn’t work.

            Nathan and I stayed there, holding on to each other, right in that spot on the floor for three and a half long hours. I watched the hours tick past on a silent clock on the book case. Nathan was utterly motionless and I stroked his hair absent mindedly, my eyes flicking between the clock and the door handle. We were both in shock. We had nothing to laugh about this time. The clock read 11:34 when I first started watching it; at 3:04, Nathan turned his head slightly.

            “Someone’s coming,” he murmured. “It sounds like Jane, but the foot steps are heavier.”

            “Alec?” I asked. He shook his head and the door opened. It was indeed Jane and she had Phoenix balanced on her hip. He looked nervous and had his arms folded, hugging himself, but he was intact.

            “Here he is,” she announced. “Safe and sound.” She lowered him to the ground and he stood very still. I was fully tensed and so was Nathan, although he hadn’t turned to face Jane. She stared at us, her mouth turned down at the corners and one eyebrow slightly raised in distaste.

            “Well come and get him,” she said, nudging him forward. That was when Nathan moved. One instant, I was clutching him to me; the next, we had Phoenix filling the space between us. When Phee realized it was me holding him, he latched onto me, hands scrabbling on my arms for a hold, and buried his face in my chest. He was cold.

            Nathan was half standing, crouched low above us while he faced Jane. She had both eyebrows up, also seeming impressed at how fast he’d moved.

            “Still quick, then, Nataniel,” she said, smiling. “Were you quick with her too? Did you two even need that much time?”

            Nathan understood what she was saying before I did and actually roared in outrage; Jane didn’t even flinch.

            “Aro is patient, but not on this matter,” she snapped. “He’s decided to gift you two with time alone each day until he gets what he wants. It could be worse; he could expect it to happen with the boy in the room.”

            “I’m underfed,” Nathan snapped. “Phoenix or no, I won’t touch her when I’m like this.”

            “Then we’ll feed you.”

            “Aeva and Phoenix still need to be fed as well or they’ll die.”

            Now Jane looked irritated. “We’ll feed them too. Is there anything else I can get for you? Any other accommodations I can make? Perhaps a play room or an exercise bike?”

            “I’m not making unreasonable requests.”

            “It’s a wonder to me Aro would even let you make requests at all after what you’ve done. And now, after what you apparently _won’t_ do.”

           Nathan’s jaw went tight and he glared at the tiny vampire, but didn’t say anything else. Jane eyed all of us down for a long minute before she finally backed out of the room. I stayed still as long as Nathan did, relying on his hearing to tell us when Jane had actually left. Finally, he crouched low until he was sitting, placing a hand on Phoenix’s back. Phee flinched hard at his touch and Nathan pulled away in horror.

            “Little guy?” He asked. “Phoenix, it’s just me. Are you alright?”

            “D-daddy?”

            “Yes, sweet.”

            Phoenix didn’t move to get in Nathan’s lap, but he stuck his hand out behind him. Nathan clasped it in his own and Phee shook him off, shifting his hand so his palm was out in a ‘stop’ gesture. “Let me see your face,” he said. Nathan leaned down and set his cheek on Phee’s hand, letting our son search him over. When Phoenix found the place where the bridge of Nathan’s nose met his brow bone, he started to cry.

            “Phoenix!” I gasped, cradling him slightly. “Phee, what’s wrong?”

            “It’s him,” he said, sounding relieved. “It’s dad. It’s him this time.”

            “Phoenix, can I come closer?” Nathan asked, heart clearly breaking. Phee nodded and Nathan slid forward, nuzzling his nose into our boy’s hair. I didn’t really understand what Nathan was doing or why he was breathing the way he was until I caught a whiff of his warm, cinnamon scent. He was giving Phee more confirmation that he was really there; Phoenix would know his smell.

            “What happened while you were gone?” I asked. “What did they do?”

            “We played games,” Phoenix said, his tears slowing down as he reached back and set his hand in Nathan’s curls. He was still tucked against my chest and he was warming up slowly. “I…I didn’t like them.”

            “What games did you play?”

            “I had to…I had…”

            He was getting worked up again and his breath was coming faster. Nathan stroked the back of Phee’s neck with his cold fingers and whispered, “Breathe, sweet. You’re alright. Breathe slow.”

            Phee started gulping air and Nathan kept up his soothing touch. It seemed Phoenix had inherited a bit of a panic disorder from me, although given his circumstances his response seemed appropriate.

            “You don’t have to say it. Tell us a lie,” I instructed. “Tell us a lie about what game you played.”

            “We played checkers.”

           Nathan didn’t change how he was moving, still tending to our son, but his expression shifted into anger. His nostrils flared and the tendon in his jaw flexed when he looked up at me. “It was a guessing game,” he said through clenched teeth. “They told Phoenix I was in the room and made him find me. He spent hours looking for me, but it was only the guard mimicking my voice.”

            I thought Nathan might scold me or shy away from having Phoenix use his gift like that, but he seemed so angry about what had happened that he didn’t bother with it. He was absolutely livid. I was too, but he was angry enough for the both of us, so I focused on Phoenix. I wished there was a blanket in the room I could have wrapped him in, but we didn’t have one, so I moved us to the chaise and laid down, curling myself around him. He had spent so long being terrified that he was exhausted now; once his breathing slowed down, he simply fell asleep. He was so spent and there was nothing I could do for him. Feeling so helpless was sure to drive me mad eventually.

            “They tortured him,” Nathan hissed, pacing back and forth in front of me. “It was psychological torture. On a _child_.”

            “He’s back with us now,” I said, halfheartedly trying to calm him down. If I was telling the truth, I was exhausted too. “What can we even do about it, Nathan? They’re going to do this every day until they get what they want from us.”

            “Then we bargain!” He snapped. “We’ll tell them we’ll negotiate, but part of our terms is that they treat Phoenix well.”

            “Negotiate with _what_?” I sighed. “You already said we’re not making Aro a Halfling, so what do we have that he wants? He doesn’t want Phoenix or I and he seems pretty fed up with you; he’s got Viktor trapped already, so we can’t trade him. You can only make terms like that if the other half of the deal is that you’ll do what Aro wants. Are we trying for a baby or not?”

           He looked at me, face pained. His voice was very quiet when he said, “Aeva I can’t risk that.”

            “So no.”

            “No.”

            “So then this is how it’ll be,” I sighed, dropping my head down onto the chaise. “Unless you have a better plan. We can’t bargain; we have no chips.”

           Nathan paced silently for about half an hour before there was a knock at the door.

            “It’s Jane,” he sighed, turning toward the entrance just before she came in.

            “Food for the humans,” she announced, carrying in a tray and setting it down on the desk. “I’ll collect it tomorrow.”

            “Am I going to be allowed to feed?” Nathan asked.

            “Aro is mulling it over.”

           She shut the door and Nathan smiled slightly. “She was punished,” he said. “That’s why she’s playing civil now. Aro scolded her for how she’s been acting.”

            “Is that good or bad?” I asked.

            “Remains to be seen,” he replied, inspecting the food. It was Italian food, which was not shocking in the least given the country we were in. Some sort of pasta dish from what I could see. Nathan sniffed it carefully and tested the sauce by dipping his finger in and tapping it to his tongue. “It’s safe. You can eat this.”

            “What is it?”

            “Carbonara,” he said, carrying it over. “There’s another plate for Phoenix; please eat, love.”

           I sat up and took the food, eating slowly. It was very good and I was hungry, but I didn’t like accepting gifts from the Volturi. Nathan returned to his pacing and I tried not to watch him; he was going to make me nauseous.

            “Aeva, what do you think we should do?” He asked after a long while. I’d been quietly eating the whole time and his question surprised me.

            “I already told you,” I replied, mouth half full. “Make the deal for Phoenix to be released.”

            “So you think we should have it? We should give Aro the Halfling?”

            “I don’t see us getting out of here if we don’t.”

            “Neither do I. Aro doesn’t generally change his mind, especially not on things like this.”

            “Would he take that deal?” I asked. “You, me, Viktor, and the Halfling for Phoenix?”

            “It does put the odds heavily in his favor,” he admitted. “He gets everything he wants.”

            “And your objection is that I might not survive?”

            “Yes.”

            “Well,” I sighed, setting my half empty plate aside. “We were worried about that because we wanted me to stay human if possible because of Phoenix. But this time around, I’m ending up a vampire for sure, aren’t I?”

            “I wouldn’t risk leaving you human down here.”

            “So what are you worried about?”

            “You read Carlisle’s notes,” he sighed, raking both hands through his hair. “Edward only _just_ saved Bella’s life. They had a full hospital room set up in their home; Carlisle had access to all kinds of resources. If we were back at our house, if we had Viktor, _maybe_ we could manage but not here. I don’t…” He took a deep breath before he looked at me with his dark eyes. “I don’t think you’d make it and I know Aro wouldn’t care.”

            “He wouldn’t care?”

            “No. And, like you said, he’s fed up with me. If we have a Halfling and we promise to give it to him in exchange for the chance to stay and raise it, I still think you would die. I don’t think he would help us as much as we would need him to. If you die, it will destroy me, Aeva. He knows that and I wouldn’t be surprised if he feels like I’d deserve it now. He’ll probably kill me if I beg long enough and then where does that leave Viktor? You, me, and Phoenix are all he has.”

            “Doesn’t Aro want him?”

            “He doesn’t need him. Viktor is certainly convenient, but there are airplanes and cars now. He’s not vital and he’s pissed Aro off. I’m sure the brothers would like nothing more than to wake him up and show him that his entire family has been destroyed.”

            “Wouldn’t he stay and look after the new baby? The Halfling?”

            “I don’t think Aro would ever let him see it.”

            I sighed and laid back down, curling around Phoenix while he slept. I couldn’t think up a way out of this one; it wasn’t like last time. Viktor had told us back then that if we were found out, we were all going to die. He knew that’s what would happen and so did we. I supposed I’d just thought it might be quick, just an execution. I didn’t count on Nathan and I having to pay up first. I hadn’t ever considered that they might punish Phoenix just for being associated with us. I wanted to cry, but I was too tired. Nathan didn’t come and lay with us to comfort me and, for the first time since I’d met him, I was glad he was keeping his distance. I didn’t blame him for what was happening, but some part of me was upset with him.

            I felt helpless. I had since we’d arrived. For as dutifully as I guarded Phoenix, I couldn’t protect him here. Nathan could, unless Jane took him out. I couldn’t stop anyone from doing anything to him, or to me for that matter. I was upset at Nathan’s strength; I was upset that he was a vampire surrounded by vampires. He wasn’t in the same fight that I was. I couldn’t fight back against anything they were plotting. I knew that, ultimately, Nathan couldn’t either and that I was being irrational. It didn’t change the fact that I was human.

            I shut my eyes and breathed deeply, trying to match the rise and fall of my chest with Phoenix’s. I had always been small and Phoenix had always been smaller; I could curl up around him like I couldn’t do with anyone else. I laid like that, holding my son, for at least an hour before I felt cool fingertips brushing hair away from my face. When I opened my eyes, Nathan was crouched before me, staring down at me just as affectionately as ever.

            “Go to sleep, love,” he murmured. “I’ll wake you if anything happens, but I want you to sleep. Get away from this for a little while.”

            I reached a hand forward and stroked his cheek. Every now and then, I forgot just how beautiful my husband was. I forgot how kind and caring and devoted he was. Sometimes I forgot just how deeply he loved Phoenix and I. When he looked at me like that, though, I remembered. He leaned forward to kiss my head but I shifted so his lips landed on mine. It was our first kiss since we’d arrived in Volterra. If I had known then that it would be our last, I might have made it last longer. Instead, I pressed a gentle peck to his lips and laid my head down to sleep. He held my hand in his and I knew he’d be standing guard over Phoenix and I.

            I woke up slightly to Phoenix moving around and I heard Nathan speaking to him. I figured Phoenix was getting up to eat, so I rolled over. When I woke up for real, I had no idea how long I’d been sleeping. The lights in the room didn’t ever go out and I couldn’t tell day from night in an underground tunnel. I had no idea if the time on the clock was AM or PM, but I was hungry again, so I figured I must have slept for a good while. I did an inventory check and found that Nathan was laying on the chaise with his arm around me and I was up against his side. Phoenix was sleeping directly on his chest with his head turned toward me. I ran a finger across the freckles on his cheeks and Nathan stroked my hair.

            “Did you sleep well?” He asked.

            “I slept,” I sighed. “No dreams, but no nightmares.”

            “Were you comfortable?”

            “Yes,” I yawned, nuzzling in closer to him and setting my hand on Phoenix’s back. “This couch thing is pretty soft.”

            “I was worried you would feel cramped,” he replied, smiling at me. “When you and Phoenix started sweating, I figured you two needed me, but this certainly isn’t as big as our bed.”

            “Our bed is a gigantic cloud,” I laughed. “That thing is huge.” He leaned down and kissed my head, settling his arm so his hand rested on my hip. I could almost imagine that we were okay, that we were just on some ill planned family vacation. I laid my head in the hollow of Nathan’s shoulder and squeezed my eyes shut tight, wishing and praying and begging that it all might be alright or that—at the very least—this little moment with my family would last just a little bit longer. I should have understood by then that all the grace God could have shown our family was used up. I didn’t hear the door open, but Nathan gripped me just a little tighter and set his other hand over mine on Phoenix’s back.

            “Jane,” he said. That was all she’d be getting from him as far as a greeting. I opened my eyes and looked at her beautiful, frightening face. Why wouldn’t they send anyone else down to us? Why did it always have to be her?

            “Come Nataniel,” she said. “We are going to let you eat.”

            “Why did you bring that with you?” He asked. She had her arms behind her back and she smiled when he said that, revealing a dead lamb she’d been hiding.

            “I brought it in case you didn’t feel like leaving your humans.”

            I thought that was an uncharacteristically kind gesture on the part of the Volturi, but I should have known better. Nathan’s eyes were wide and pure black while he stared at the animal in Jane’s hand. He pulled his hand off of Phoenix and slid it over his mouth and nose; all of his muscles were tense.

            “Jane,” he said from behind his palm, “ _don’t_. I’ll come, I just have to get up.”

           She nodded serenely and lifted the lamb high in the air, brandishing her index finger of her other hand like a hook.

            “ _Jane_ ,” Nathan hissed. She inched her finger closer to the lambs neck and I realized this was a count down. I just wasn’t sure what would happen at the end, but I knew Nathan wanted to get up. I slid an arm under Phee’s belly and slid him off of Nathan’s chest. He stirred slightly, but as soon as he was in my grasp, Nathan was standing. He still had his left hand over his mouth and his right was out toward Jane in a “calm down” motion.

            “I’m up,” he said. “Please don’t.” Jane grinned then and caught her fingernail in the skin of the lamb’s neck. Nathan’s eyes were locked on the motion and I suddenly understood what was happening. She was going to slit the lamb’s throat to set Nathan off. I had never seen Nathan hunt before—I’d never been interested—but I had seen him after he’d been tempted by blood. When my father died, he’d bled out in Nathan’s arms. Nathan had shown such amazing self-control and hadn’t hurt anyone, but when I had gotten too close to him, he’d growled at me. If I’d gotten any closer, I’m sure he would have bitten. Instead, he ran far, _far_ away from the hospital and hunted. The ending of that story is that, while he was out, I went into labor. He came back just in time to meet the little boy I was holding. If Jane slit that lamb’s throat, Nathan would lunge for it, but it wouldn’t be enough to sate him. The only other things in this room would be me and our son and we had nowhere to run.

           This might be the end of it. I held Phoenix a bit tighter, slipping my hands on either side of his head. Cold terror was keeping me calm and I knew that, if Nathan came after us, I would break Phee’s neck to spare him the pain of venom. Jane had seen me move and her smile turned incredulous.

            “Would you _really_?” She asked. Nathan didn’t bother to look at me, he kept his eyes on Jane’s hands. She was looking at mine.

            “I would,” I said, surprised my voice did not shake. “If you make me.”

           Jane’s expression turned sinister and she twirled her finger in the lamb’s skin, pressing just a little bit harder. I shifted my grip, one hand under Phee’s chin, the other on the crown of his head. I felt like crying, but I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

           She seemed to be genuinely struggling to make a decision when, finally, she tossed the lamb to Nathan, leaving its neck intact. “If you kill her,” she sighed, “then what is the point of all this?”

            “Let’s go, Jane,” Nathan said, his voice very quiet. She stepped aside and made a sweeping gesture; Nathan exited the room without giving a backwards glance.

            “Don’t leave the room,” Jane said, taking the door knob. “One step outside of here, and you’re fair game. Aro said so.”

            “Nathan?” I asked. “Is that true?”

           He didn’t turn around, but his head hung low. “Yes.”

            Jane flashed one last smile before pulling the door closed. The terror in my veins flashed to greif then to anguish then to fury and then, ultimately, back to helplessness. I slid out from behind Phoenix, went to the far corner of the room, balled up the hem of my t-shirt, stuffed it in my mouth, and screamed. Phoenix woke up in a panic.

            “Mom!” He shouted. “Mommy!”

           I wanted to play calm for him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t hold it together anymore; I was unraveling. I spit out my shirt, fell to the floor, and started sobbing.

            “Mom!” He said again, having figured out where I was. He got to his feet and started walking toward me, arms out. He was so brave; he had no idea what was in this room, he just wanted to get to me. He was six years old and he was trying to protect me. I had very nearly just snapped his neck and I felt disgusting. I wanted to shower in water so hot it burned my skin; I wanted to scrub so hard I bled. Then maybe I’d feel clean again.

            Phoenix found me, clumsily striking his hand against my face. I didn’t move or stop him; I felt like I deserved it. He felt my tears and immediately knelt down, keeping one hand on my face and sliding the other down my arm until he grasped my fingers. “Are you hurt?” He asked. “Did they hurt you?”

            “No,” I choked out. “No, I’m just…I’m just scared, honey. I’m real scared.”

            “Where’s dad?”

            “Jane took him,” I said, gulping air to try to calm down. “She took him…she took him to eat.”

            “Why can’t he eat here?” Phoenix gasped, squeezing my hand as his terror rose. “We ate here. Mom, where’s dad? We need dad!”

            “Phoenix!” I snapped, grabbing his chin with my free hand. “Why do you keep saying that? Why do we need dad?”

            “Mom, that hurts!”

            “Answer me!” I was fully unhinged, shouting into the face of my blind son, but I needed to know what he knew.

            “D-dad’s different,” he said, tears forming in his eyes. It wasn’t from pain, I’d loosened my hold. He was terrified though. “Dad and Papa V-viktor, they’re…different.”

            “What are they?”

            “I don’t know!”

            “ _What are they_?!”

            “Angels!” He screamed, jerking away from me. He tucked his hands under his chin pulled his knees up close to his chest. “Dad and Papa Viktor are angels. They’re like Abuelo, but they move.”

           He had stunned me into silence. _They’re like Abuelo_. Phoenix had never met his grandfather—my father—he’d only ever touched the statue of him that Nathan and I had made. We’d taken him out there over the years to touch my dad’s face and hold onto his hands. That statue was made out of marble; I’m certain it did feel very much like Nathan or Viktor’s skin. I had been so worried that Phoenix had figured out vampires I’d never guessed that he’d reached a different conclusion. But why wouldn’t he? Vampires were scary monsters; his father and his grandfather were nothing but gentle, doting figures in his life that cared for and protected him. They’d never been anything less than guardian angels to him.

            “What is Jane?” I asked, my voice much softer now. “What are the other people here?”

            “Angels too,” he said, wiping angrily at his tears. “But they’re bad ones.”

            “There are bad angels?”

            “Yes,” he said firmly. “Abuela talks about them. She says Satan is an angel, he’s just a bad one. That’s what Jane is. She’s bad like Satan. So is Aro.”

            “Aro?” I asked, eyes going wide. “You met Aro?”

            “Yes. He’s bad. I hate him. I hate everyone here except daddy. Even you.”

            “You hate me?”

           His eyes were staring off into space, but his lips were pursed. He’d never said he hated me before. Mamá had told me how it broke her heart each time one of us said it for the first time; she told me to be ready. Frida and Holly backed her up. I still wasn’t ready for it. “You hate me,” I whispered.

           Phoenix kept up his expression for a moment longer before it softened slightly. “I don’t…I don’t know if I hate you,” he muttered. “But you yelled at me and you hurt my face. I didn’t even do anything wrong.”

            “You’re right,” I said, heart breaking as I looked at him. “You’re right, Phoenix. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve been so good, honey. I’m so sorry I yelled at you, you didn’t deserve that. I told you, I’m scared. Jane took your dad and I freaked out; it’s hard to be here and I hate this place too. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, baby. I’m so, so sorry.”

           He chewed that over for a little while, his hands slowly moving out from under his chin. “I…I forgive you,” he said. “I forgive you because I’m scared too.”

            “Can I come closer?” I asked. “Can I touch you?”

            “Why?”

            “I’d like to give you a hug,” I said, smiling a little. “If you want one.”

            “Yes,” he said quickly. “I want a hug, mom.”

           I slid across the floor to him and took his hand so he knew I was there. He latched onto me and hauled himself into my lap, gripping me as tightly as he could. I wrapped my arms around him and crushed him to my chest, nuzzling my face into his hair while we breathed together.

            “Mom,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

            “For what?”

            “I think…I think dad is going to be a bad angel.”

            “What?” I asked, pulling away slightly to look at him. “Why do you think that? Why are you sorry for it?”

            “Because I did it,” he sighed. “I…I pushed him. I was scared of him yesterday. I think I made him mad.”

            “Oh, oh, no, Phoenix,” I murmured, folding him back into our hug. “No, honey, you didn’t make him mad at you. He was mad at the other…angels. He was mad that they made you play that awful game. He wasn’t mad at you, not even for a second. He’s never been mad at you. He loves you way too much for that. Even when you were a baby and you barfed on him, he didn’t get mad.”

           Phoenix giggled slightly at that and rested his head on my shoulder, forehead against my neck. “He loves you too, mom,” he said. “He loves you lots. Lupe says it’s gross, but I don’t think so. I’m happy he loves you.”

            “Why are you happy about that?”

            “Because I love you, too.”

           I had needed to hear that so badly, and I smiled into his hair. “I thought you hated me,” I teased.

            “I don’t, I love you. I was just mad.”

            “That’s alright,” I said, kissing his ear. “It’s alright to be mad.”

            “Were you mad at me?”

            “No,” I said. “I’m like dad. I love you way too much to get mad at you.”

            “Yeah?”

            “Yeah,” I laughed. “I love you so much, Phoenix. You’re the best son I could have ever gotten. I’m lucky to have you, kiddo. I love _you_ so much it’s gross.”

            “I love you so much it’s gross, too,” he giggled, snuggling against me. I didn’t care that the floor was cold and hard or that my stomach was painfully empty; I only cared about the little boy in my lap and that he loved me. Phoenix made me feel clean.

           We waited together for a long time, never leaving our spot on the ground. After a while, he turned around, but he didn’t go anywhere. Phee just reclined against my chest and I stroked his hair. I wished he would be interested in the books here or learning to play chess, but he was exhausted. I knew for as much as Nathan or I tried to soothe him, he would never quit being scared. I ran my hand over his eyebrows, up the plane of his forehead, and over his hairline until I reached the crown of his head. Over and over, I smoothed my hand along his head, eventually running my fingers through his hair. He kept my other hand firmly grasped in both of his while we waited for Nathan to come back.

            We sat there for hours, both too scared to sleep but too tired to do anything. I didn’t even bother looking at the clock, I just kept my eyes on the door handle. I jumped slightly when it turned. I didn’t want to get my hopes up that Nathan was back yet, but that glimmer of optimism still flickered to life. Instead, it was Jane. Nathan hunted at night, so I never really knew how long it took him. Probably longer than we’d waited. Maybe Jane was bringing food for Phoenix and I. Maybe she was just going to kill us. I was pretty okay with any option at that point, so I wasn’t alarmed when Jane opened the door and stuck her pretty little head into the room.

            “Hello!” She chimed, smiling. It didn’t touch her eyes but I had more things to worry about than a generally polite sociopath. “Are you both well?”

            “Where’s my dad?” Phoenix demanded, gripping my hand harder.

            “He’s talking to Aro, sweetling,” she replied, pushing the door wider and standing directly in the doorway. “He’s asking if you can go to your uncle’s house.”

            “W…what?” I asked, struggling to process this news.

            “We took him to eat in the throne room,” she replied. “We weren’t about to let him outside. We just brought his food inside and the brothers wanted to see him eat. He didn’t eat, though, he just started talking. He made a case for your boy to leave.”

            “To go to Manuel?” I asked. “And the brothers are listening?”

            “Oh, of course,” she nodded. “I don’t know what they’ve _decided_ , of course. They didn’t want me eavesdropping. But they had me come and get you.”

            “Why?” I asked, shifting Phee so that he was facing me. His hands slid up under his chin and he tucked his head under mine. Phee didn’t like Jane. I didn’t trust her; I didn’t have Nathan with me, so I couldn’t verify what she was saying, but I wanted to believe her.

            “Your meal is almost ready,” she said, giving me another joyless smile. “Before you both eat, though, you’ve been asked to go to the throne room.”

            “Where Nathan is?”

            “Yes,” she nodded. “The brothers would like to hear from you and little Phoenix too.”

            “You said if I took even one step out of that door, I was fair game. How do I know you’re not tricking me?”

           Jane smiled again, her red eyes flashing. “Clever girl,” she clucked. “But I’m not fooling you. This in on Aro’s orders, I swear. He even sent one of his brothers here to walk with us.”

            “One of his brothers?” Now I was nervous. Jane had already told me that Nathan was speaking to Aro, so it would be Caius or Marcus. Caius was the one with a mean streak, and so I hoped it wasn’t him. I’d dealt with Viktor when he’d wanted me dead, though, so I figured I still might be able to manage him.

           Jane waited patiently as I got to my feet, handling Phoenix a bit awkwardly. He was so big now that he was difficult to carry, but I refused to set him down. I knew he wouldn’t feel safe walking though, so I hefted him onto my hip and walked to where Jane gestured. She led me a short way away from our quarters through a very dim tunnel.

           The brother that joined us on our walk was waiting and he looked different than any vampire I had seen before. He had the same translucent skin as Aro, the same black hair, and the same cloudy pink eyes, but he seemed bored and tired. Viktor had talked about him: this was Marcus.

            “Here,” Jane said, taking Phoenix from me. I was alarmed, but I knew it would hurt him if I tried to stop her. She held him like I had, resting him on her hip, and nodded her head toward Marcus, urging me closer to him.

            “Hello,” he sighed, giving me a once over. “You are Nataniel’s human?”

            “One of them.”

            “Ah yes, the child too,” he nodded, looking at Phoenix where he sat in Jane’s grasp. “A handsome boy.”

            “Thank you.” Phoenix’s voice was small and shaking, but he still remembered his manners. I reached over and took his hand and he clenched my fingers so hard it hurt. He was terrified.

            “Jane, can I take him back?” I asked, smoothing the back of my free hand against his cheek. “He’s nervous. Please, let me hold him.”

            “Oh, nonsense,” she laughed, shifting him to her other hip so that he was out of my reach. I had to let go of his hand and as soon as I did, he pressed his arms to his chest and tucked his fists back under his chin. He’d been in that pose so often since we’d gotten here. “He’s fine right where he is. Besides, your new friend would like to walk with you.” She nodded toward Marcus again and I saw that he had his hand extended toward me. He was not the one that could read minds; I knew that was Aro.

            “Come,” he said, beckoning slightly with his fingers. “We have heard Nataniel’s plea. We understand his concerns with what we ask of the two of you and we believe them to be valid. Come now, child.”

            “You…you understand our concerns?” I asked, tentatively reaching forward to grasp his thin fingers. The fragile look of his skin did not change its marble texture. His hand was just as solid as Nathan’s as it curled around mine, gently pulling me to his side as we walked. He was holding my hand.

            “Do not be alarmed,” he drawled. “Within our family, we walk hand in hand as a sign of affection.”

           I didn’t relax, but I felt a small amount of hope flicker to life in my chest.

            “Nataniel does not wish to see you harmed,” the ancient vampire sighed, leading us further down the unfamiliar corridor. “And he certainly does not wish to be the perpetrator of any such harm against you. He also worries for the safety of your son; he would like to see him leave this place.”

            “And you agree with him?”

            “We see his reason,” he allowed. “It is true that birthing a Halfling could end your life. It is even more true that you would be a danger to your current child as a new born vampire.”

            “So what does that mean? Are you willing to accept our alternative?”

            “We offer a more immediate solution,” he replied, gently squeezing my fingers. “We have decided to alter the conditions of our request. We would like Nathan to produce a Halfling for us, but it need not be with you. We will remove you from the equation.”

           I hadn’t fully processed what he’d said before he and Jane moved. Suddenly, she was no longer beside me and neither was Phoenix. Holding hands was supposed to be an affectionate gesture and my brain was not working fast enough to comprehend why Marcus was gripping me so hard. One moment, we were simply standing hand in hand. The next instant, he had stepped behind me, throwing his arm up and over my head to lock my wrist against my chest. His long fingers pressed against my jaw, forcing my head to lean back against his shoulder. My brain finally caught up when I felt his teeth sink into the skin of my throat.

            _Oh._


	17. Changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go poorly for all parties.

###  _Nathan_

           I followed Jane wordlessly as she led me through the tunnels. She reached back and took my hand and I let her. I was replaying what had just happened over and over again. Jane had almost gotten me to kill my family and she knew it. I’d looked at her eyes, though, and I had seen Aeva’s reflection. My wife knew what was going to happen if the lamb’s blood was shed and she’d been ready. She’d been ready to offer Phoenix a mercy killing as he slept. I hated that. I hated that she so fully understood the threat I posed to her and our son that she’d been ready to murder him so that I wouldn’t be able to.

           More than anything, I hated that Jane had found the fastest way to get me to do what she wanted. The first thing she would do when she had a chance would be to inform Aro.

            “Brother Nataniel,” she said, squeezing my fingers to get my attention. “You haven’t eaten your gift.”

            “I will,” I said, looking at the dead animal in my other hand. “Thank you, Jane.” It wouldn’t do to be impolite; not while Aeva and Phoenix were unattended and anything I did wrong could be taken out on them.

            “Is it good?” She asked, head cocked. “Animal blood?”

            “You wouldn’t like it,” I replied. “It’s an acquired taste. I enjoy it, though.”

            “Well, Aro would like to see.”

            “What?”

            “You’ll be eating in the throne room,” she said, turning us down the familiar path there. “In front of the brothers.”

           This was meant to be a humiliation for me, of course, but I didn’t care. I was going to be in front of the brothers; I would never have been granted an audience but I would take the opportunity to plead my case. I didn’t want to deviate from the plan that Aeva and I had agreed upon, but first I would ask that both she and Phoenix be set free. I assumed that would get shot down and, if it did, I would bargain for just Phoenix. There was a chance that I was going to get my son out of these tunnels alive.

           When we walked into the throne room, there were no guard members other than Alec. He was seated in the far corner with a book in his lap and my father on the ground at his feet, surrounded by his mist. The Volturi made no mistakes when intimidating someone, and so I knew Viktor was purposefully on display just for me. The brothers were in their thrones with three sheep leashed to a cinderblock in the middle of the room, right above the large drain.

            “Nataniel, dear one,” Aro said delightedly as soon as he saw me. I didn’t know why he continued to call me his dear one. I didn’t know that I could have done more to be further ostracized from his ranks. He had his hands clasped in his lap and an eager, amused expression on. Caius seemed curious and preemptively disgusted. Marcus had his eyes shut altogether.

            “Hello, Aro,” I said, bowing my head as Jane led me forward. Aro waved her off and she walked away, surely going to join Alec. “Thank you for allowing me to eat.”

            “Certainly,” he nodded. “When Jane told us that you had requested food, fearing that you may harm your human mate otherwise, I did some checking.” He tapped his temple with one of his long fingers, reminding me that he’d searched my mind while Alec held me captive. “You were telling the utmost truth,” he continued. “You regularly think of slaughtering her in the…act. That simply won’t do. No, no. And so we brought you a meal to eat right here.”

            “You are very gracious.”

            “Please,” he said, gesturing to the animals. I looked at them for a moment, but fought back the burn in my throat. Aro would send me away once he’d had his entertainment. I had to speak, or I wouldn’t have another opportunity.

            “Aro, what would you do if I did kill Aeva? In the act, as you said. What would happen then?”

           Caius snorted indignantly. “This is not an audience; you are not allowed—“

            “Peace,” Aro snapped, his voice echoing around the chamber for a moment. He had a hand raised to silence Caius and his pink eyes were fixed on me. He had his usual, benign smile on, but he was thinking very hard. He wasn’t sure if he was about to be tricked again; he didn’t trust Aeva now, and so he didn’t trust me by extension. “Why do you ask, dear one?” He said after a pregnant pause.

            “It’s a risk and you know about it,” I replied, keeping my tone neutral. “You obviously would have some sort of risk-management already in place should it occur. I’m just wondering what it is.”

           Aro stared at me for another long, silent minute. I felt a flicker of pride at how much Aeva had affected him. Aro was not used to being fooled; he tended to think of himself as infallible. But Aeva had played him and now he was unsure of himself, at least when it came to us. I thought he might speak, but instead he rose and walked toward me. This was almost unprecedented; he didn’t usually approach others without Renata, or at the very least Felix to protect him. I supposed, though, he had Jane behind me with her eyes on my back. She’d knock me down if I tired anything.

            “I am reluctant to hear you speak, Nataniel,” he said, slowly hiking up the sleeve of his robe to extend his hand. “I’m certain you understand why.”

            “I do,” I smiled, extending my own hand as well. Aro waved it away and pressed his palm to the side of my face instead. I tensed, as I knew what he wanted, but did not recoil as he slid his hand around to the back of my neck and pulled my face toward his. His breathing was heavy and we got closer to one another until finally our foreheads touched. As far as I knew, Aro only did this to me and to Heidi. I didn’t even know that his wife had ever been subjected to this. He found Heidi and I physically appealing, but he never sought more intimacy with either of us than this strange, breathy contact. Because I knew what it meant to him, it always felt as vile as if he’d slid his hand under the waistband of my pants.

           While his fingers toyed with the hair on the back of my neck, I felt the tendrils of his mind snaking through my thoughts. He didn’t go very far back and it made me sick to think how thoroughly he’d explored while I was incapacitated. He caressed each torturous moment my family and I had spent in my quarters down below; he pressed on the fear I’d felt when Phoenix had been taken and the pain that Jane had inflicted, just to make me relive it. He lingered on the feeling of Aeva sleeping against my side, highlighting the sensation of her breasts and legs pressed against me. He understood her appeal in full and was sickeningly fascinated by the sensation of being intimate with a human; I wonder if he’d violated Edward’s relationship with Bella this way. I felt certain he had.

           Aro also hovered over each time I thought Aeva was beautiful, so I knew he agreed with me. I made a point to try and picture her as a newborn vampire while he searched me. When he found that image, he practically salivated over it. He wanted to see Aeva changed. I thought, inappropriate as his interest was, this might help my case.

           When he finally withdrew his mind from mine, he was slow about removing his fingers from my skin, choosing to lazily drag them along my jawline while he pulled away. Any other vampire wouldn’t dare to touch me like that now that I’d found my mate; Aro, however, had no respect for the mate-bond. I glanced at Marcus, still seated with his eyes closed.

            “You wish to send the boy away,” Aro said thoughtfully, returning to his seat. “To his godfather, Aeva’s brother.”

            “I do,” I nodded. Aro regarded me for a second while Caius stared at the side of his face a bit incredulously. This was clearly not something that had been agreed upon prior to my arrival. “Jane,” Aro called. “Alec, dear ones, take Viktor away for a moment. We must speak with Nataniel.”

           Jane looked angry, but the twins both bent and each took one of Viktor’s wrists. They dragged him out of the room, which was wholly unnecessary. They could easily have lifted him, but they chose to slide him along the ground to make a point. They exited the door that Heidi usually came in and I turned back to Aro.

            “Tell Caius and Marcus what you’d like them to know,” he said, leaning his chin on one hand. This was a game. I needed to share only prior thoughts; no thinking on my feet. Aro wouldn’t like that.

            “I understand that we are being punished—“

            “I should say so!” Caius hissed. “You lying filth!”

           Aro did not silence him but continued to look on, his eyes never leaving my face.

            “And I understand that part of our penance—our due—is to create and deliver you a Halfling child. But I am deeply concerned that it won’t be possible.”

            “Why not?” Caius asked, his eyes shifting between Aro and myself. Marcus opened his eyes and stared boredly at me as well.

            “I worry for Aeva’s safety,” I explained. “Carlisle took copious notes throughout Bella’s pregnancy with Renesmee. Human mothers to Halflings require an immense amount of care to survive the process.”

            “You think we wish for your human to survive?” Marcus sighed.

            “I don’t think you care about that, actually.”

           Marcus nodded and shifted positions so that he was leaning toward Aro, rather than away. “We don’t,” he agreed. “Go on.”

            “The trouble is, _I_ care about Aeva’s safety. I can’t help it, she’s my mate. Even Aro has confirmed that. If I think there is a risk she might not survive, I don’t know what I could even _attempt_ this.”

            “So your concerns lie in the pregnancy, not the _act_ ,” Caius sneered. “Which means that you certainly _could_ , given the proper incentive.”

            “I can’t help but think that you’re referring to my son when you say _incentive_.”

            “I am.”

           I nodded, refusing to let my anxiety show through. “Aro tried to provide Aeva and I with time alone by removing Phoenix from our presence. As he found, Aeva and I were barely functional when we were left worrying about our son. If we can’t be sure that Phoenix is safe, we can’t do anything else.”

            “Enough of this,” Caius snapped, waving his hand at me. “Stop listing out the reasons you can’t and won’t comply with your _sentencing_. It matters not, clearly you have an alternative in mind. What is it?”

           I took a deep breath to steady my nerves before I said, “Aeva and I are prepared to attempt your Halfling if you will agree to let Phoenix return to our family. His godparents, Manuel and Holly, are prepared to take him in. He’s innocent in all of this. In exchange for Phoenix’s freedom, we are prepared to birth and raise the Halfling for you. Aeva will be changed as soon as it is born and she, Viktor, and I will all join the guard. Bond us as closely to you with Chelsea as you’d like, we’ll stay. Just ensure Phoenix’s safety.”

           Caius sat back as he considered this, but Marcus laughed. This surprised Aro, who turned to look at his brother as he spoke. “Your bargain is that we let your living child go free, that you and your mate stay together to raise your future child with the aid of your sire. You are being _punished_ , Nataniel. There is no punishment in the scenario you propose.”

           I nodded, watching Caius’s expression turn smug. He was lucky that he was even allowed to sit beside Aro. He contributed nothing more than enough spite to make Aro’s more sinister plans seem to be the reasonable option.

            “That is not all,” Aro said, nodding to me. “Share the rest.”

            “Aeva might not survive the process,” I said, staring at Marcus now. “I can’t do anything that would kill her. I _can’t_. But you don’t need Aeva to have a Halfling. Aro doesn’t even _like_ Aeva; he certainly doesn’t trust her. Do you genuinely want the child of two lying traitors in your guard? Do you think it would behave differently than its parents?”

            “So what else would you propose?” He sighed.

            “Send Aeva and Phoenix back to her family,” I replied. “Viktor and I will rejoin the guard, I’ll give you a Halfling with another human you like better. Keep me away from Aeva; keep me away from the child. You know better than anyone that there is punishment in being separated from your mate. If Aeva is left human, eventually she will die and we’ll be separated permanently.”

           Marcus tilted his head as he considered this. Both Aro and Caius were watching his expression carefully. He closed his eyes and sat back in his throne, muttering, “That’s better.”

            “But the girl knows about vampires,” Caius protested. “Does the boy?”

            “Not entirely,” Aro replied. “He understands that Nathan and Viktor are not human, though, and may speak about it.”

            “Aeva would keep him quiet,” I countered. “She wouldn’t tell anyone about me either.”

            “It is still against our laws for her to know,” Aro smiled. “But, based on my investigation of her mind, I believe there are grounds to that statement.” Caius stared at Aro for a long time before looking back at me. Even his sneer looked softer.

            “Why would we consider this,” he asked, “Rather than just execute all three of you? What if we decide against this?”

            “Obviously, we’re at your mercy,” I pointed out. “If you execute us, fair enough. It is in line with our laws. But if you would like a Halfling from me, this is the way to do it. It’s the only way I can.” Caius nodded very slightly and sat back as well.

           I was beginning to think that Viktor may have been right when he said I had some sort of gift for popularity. The three brothers were not generally swayed so easily; Aro certainly wasn’t. The way he was looking at me, I knew he had an ulterior motive for letting me throw this option on the table. He wanted something else, but as long as Phoenix and Aeva survived, he could have it.

            “We’ll need time to discuss this,” Aro said, getting to his feet. This was clearly some sort of signal, because the other two rose as well. Demetri entered from the side door and came to stand by me. “You will remain here while we deliberate. We will speak again once we’ve made a decision.”

            “Thank you,” I said, smiling. “Thank you all very much.” Aro led the way and I saw Renata on the other side of the doorjamb, hand extended and waiting for him. His brothers closed ranks behind him and Felix came to join Demetri and I. One of the sheep bleated dully and I waited until all the shifting was finished before I asked for permission to drain the animals. I figured if I was going to need to make good on my deal to make a Halfling, I would need to be well fed. Three sheep and a dead lamb would be more than enough.

           Demitri watched with interest while I ate, though Felix did not. It was nothing that Felix hadn’t seen before; he had come hunting with me in years past. I wondered if my having a mate had disappointed him the in the same way it had for Edward and Jane. Heidi was probably not pleased either.

           None of us spoke while we waited. We all knew enough not to sit in the thrones, but Demetri had taken the chair Alec had been using and Felix was guarding the door, so I just stood in place and waited. Hours slid past and still, I stood waiting. I had a fairly good internal clock and marked it at the eight-hour point when Jane came back into the room. I hadn’t stood still for eight hours straight in years; living with humans necessitated more movement. I had forgotten how like statues vampires could be.

            “Is there a verdict?” I asked.

            “No,” she replied, offering me her hand. I took it and she began leading me back to my quarters. “They want more time; they figured you would prefer to wait back in your room.”

            “That’s gracious.”

           She nodded, but said nothing, though I caught the small smile on her lips. When Jane was amused, it was never good and my stomach started to drop. She opened the door and when I looked inside, my legs quit working.

            “Where are they?” I whispered.

            “Go on, Nataniel,” she laughed, giving me a shove. “Wait for your verdict. Aren’t you glad you spoke up?”

           She closed the door and I was left in my former quarters. Aeva and Phoenix were missing. Their scents in the room were cold, so they had been taken hours beforehand. I was willing to bet they’d been taken as soon as the brothers left the throne room. Perhaps they’d actually taken time to deliberate. It didn’t matter, they’d taken my family away and, try as I might to remain calm, I couldn’t. I screamed in frustration and kicked the chaise. It flew across the room and exploded against the back wall. It was pointless and destructive and violent and I kept doing it.

           I destroyed every piece of furniture in that meticulously maintained room. I wanted no place in the Volturi tunnels. Not my former place, not a future place; I didn’t want to be there any longer. I was tired of not only being their captive, but being their plaything. They’d let me speak to them and convince myself that maybe, _maybe_ we had a chance to leave this hell or change what was happening. Then they’d snuck into the darkness and taken my family from me. Phoenix and Aeva didn’t deserve anything that had happened to them. Viktor was still in Alec’s fog, his consciousness trapped in the dark for god knows how long. All of my fear and anxiety from the past few days channeled itself into fury and I destroyed my quarters.

           I didn’t bother going out the door and I wouldn’t dare to; not until I knew where my family was. I sat in the wreckage of that room for two full days. No one came to retrieve me, no one spoke to me, no one gave me news. I sat with my back against the far wall glaring at the door, motionless. Jane seemed unimpressed when, forty hours later, she pushed the door open.

            “Nataniel,” she sighed, looking at what I’d done. “That’s not very mature of you.”

           I repeated the last question I’d asked her, now in a growl. “Where are they?”

            “Calm down,” she snapped. “You’ll see them soon enough.” She wasn’t lying but I wasn’t comforted. I just kept staring her down until she crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.

            “Well come along, I’m not going to drag you out,” she sighed. “The brothers have ther decision for you.”

           I rose slowly and followed behind her. I saw her offer her hand to me and I refused to take it. She was clearly irritated at this, but did not punish me for it. That fact alone told me that I had something nasty already in store for me. When we reached the throne room, everyone was in attendance; even Viktor was sprawled in the corner, his hair shifting slightly as the mist swirled around him. The full guard was out, forming a semi circle before the thrones. I was clearly meant to stand at the center of this arrangement and walked there, jaw set.

           Caius and Marcus were seated, but Aro was standing. He had his fingers steepled and he watched me with that stupid, wan smile on his face.

            “Nataniel,” he said warmly. “I apologize that we have taken so long in our deliberation. We wanted to be sure we made the best possible decision for all those involved.”

            “Thank you, Aro,” I said politely. Something was very wrong. I could feel it in my bones and I was anxious to know what it was. “And what have you decided?”

            “Your terms do not quite suit us,” he sighed. “Though the concerns you raised were certainly more than valid.” He turned on his heel, his robes billowing out behind him, and returned to his throne between Marcus and Caius, Renata stepping forward from behind the throne to grasp his cloak. When he had situated himself, he smiled at me again.

            “Oh, do not look so frightened, Nataniel,” he chuckled. “We will not ask you to do anything so difficult as to destroy your family. No, on that point we are all agreed. It would be beyond the vilest cruelty to ask that of you. You are right that it cannot be reasonably expected of you that you risk your mate’s life for the birth of a Halfling. You are also correct that, should she be turned, she would undoubtedly pose an extreme threat to her child and that the child cannot continue to stay here.”

            “But my terms don’t suit you?”

            “No,” Aro sighed. “There are many risks posed with any answer, though in different arenas for each. We think the solution we have chosen will allow you to come away happy.”

            “So you have no plans to harm my family?” I was not hopeful in the least; in fact, this statement came out with nearly acidic sarcasm.

            “There is no need for the mockery in your tone,” Caius sneered. “And of course we have no _plans_ for your family. It can no longer be called a plan once it has been put into action.”

            “What have you done?” I demanded, instantly tense as any faint hope I’d had was quickly disintegrating. “Aro, what have you done?”

            “I believe _I_ told you we’d put something into action,” Caius sniffed.

            “Don’t pretend you’ve ever been useful, Caius,” I spat. I was beyond playing nice with them. “Aro, I’m begging you: tell me what you’ve done.”

            “He begs?” Marcus asked, seeming to have finally come out of his perpetual disinterest. “The Nataniel I knew did not _beg_.”

            “Cease, brothers,” Aro said gently. “Now is not the time. Nataniel, you should be extraordinarily grateful to us. We’ve given you quite a gift. I thought we might just rid you of the humans entirely, but dear brother Marcus could sense how fond of the girl you are. I must admit, I saw it in your mind as well. She shall remain in your care…”

            “Aro, thank you, I—”

            “…forever.”

           My insides turned to ice. “What?”

            “We agreed that she should be changed; Edward was extended the same opportunity with his human. We’ve handled it already. It did take quite a bit of doing,” he sighed, sounding put upon. “We—that is Marcus, Caius, and I—are out of practice in the ways of changing mortals. We usually leave that task to our officers. I regret to say that we may have been a tad overzealous in our attempts, though all seems to be going extremely well. Have you ever tasted the girl?”

            “No,” I said through my teeth.

            “Well, she was truly exquisite,” he assured me. “Her blood was unusually sweet and thickly spiced. It was also quite a bit warmer than most humans. It gave a truly amazing sensation as one swallowed; I’d go as far as to say it _burned_. I think that, had you partaken of her, this one’s blood may have been enough to make even you forget your morals for a moment.

            “As I said though, it was a very difficult change to make. We did so want to finish her. But we kept in mind to whom she would be a gift, Nataniel. Now you need not fear causing her injury or death. We have done this kindness for you. Had she been for anyone else, she would have never been seen again, but she was for _you_. That was why we took up the task ourselves, actually. It is a very special present directly from us to you, Nataniel, my once-upon-a-time-son. Enjoy.”

           A door to the left of the thrones burst open and Santiago stumbled into the room, struggling with a form that was thrashing around violently. I could smell her as soon as the door opened: the thrashing form was Aeva. Santiago dragged her into the open and then retreated back into the room he’d come from. I stared in horror at my wife.

           Her hair was matted with blood and her clothes were torn. Under every tear I could see bite marks. They’d bitten her neck, her chest, her arms, her legs: everything. She was kicking and jerking like she’d been lit on fire and though her eyes were open, she made no noise. She was staring right back at me; her sweet, black eyes were already an angry red. We’d agreed she’d needed to be changed, but I was certain she had not been told this was about to happen to her. There had been no consent in the act that left her jerking and twisting on the ground in agony.

            “Aeva,” I breathed, feeling as though my chest had been crushed. I turned my eyes back to Aro, who was smiling benignly at me.

            “You are most welcome,” he said graciously. I could have killed him right then and there, but I didn’t move. I knew what I was up against. I could kill Aro in three seconds flat, but I couldn’t kill his entire guard on my own. I had to content myself with glaring at him with all the malice and fury I could muster.

            “Oh,” he said, his face falling just a bit. “But you don’t look pleased. I had so thought you’d like it. She is not so far along that the change cannot be stopped. We can still kill her, if you’d prefer that.” He motioned with his hand and someone made a move towards Aeva. I lunged forward to protect her and found myself restrained by a tangle of arms.

            “Ah, he likes it after all,” Caius said happily. I snarled at him, but did not fight to free myself.

            “And our gifts do not stop there!” Aro continued, standing and clapping his hands. Santiago returned, this time carrying a large cloth bound bundle. He turned the bundle on its side and an angel faced, dark haired boy crashed to the floor.

            “The child!” Caius announced. As soon as he’d hit the floor, Phoenix had moved to stand up, but he’d apparently injured his knee because he stumbled to the ground again. Slowly, he staggered upright, hands at his sides and clenched into fists. He clenched his eyes shut too, listening with all his might. He wore the same determined face that his mother had donned so many times. He was human and he was alive, but the world went cold as I realized there was no hope he would remain so. If they were going to release him, he wouldn’t be here.

            “He is quite handsome,” Aro cooed, leaning towards him. Phoenix whirled around at the sound of his voice and squared his chest to him. I was horrified to see Aro’s face so close to my son’s. Phoenix had never looked smaller to me. “So very brave too,” Aro continued. “You’ve raised a fine boy, I’m sure.

            “You will agree with us when we acknowledge that he cannot be turned; we know too well the perils of attempting to keep our children forever. But alas, just as immortal children that do not know enough are dangerous, so too are mortal children that know too much. I cannot allow him to leave this place nor am I willing to wait until he is fully grown to change him. I cannot give you the same gift twice, Nataniel, but I shall mercifully rid you of this potential threat.” He straightened and dread cut a jagged path through my heart.

            “No, please,” I begged. “Aro, _please_. No...”

           Phoenix turned at the sound of my voice. “Daddy?”

            “Phoenix, I’m here,” I replied, starting to cry. I thrashed harder in my captor’s grip. “Aro, please. Have mercy. He’s a child, have mercy on him!”

           Aro considered me for a long moment before giving me one solemn nod. “Mercy. For you, Nataniel. Alec, if you please.”

            “No, NO!” I screamed. Alec and Jane stepped forward together, silvery mist preceding them. It touched Phoenix and he went entirely limp.

           Jane smiled and released Alec’s hand, saying, “Go ahead, brother.” Alec smiled at her before kneeling down and picking up the small, motionless body before him. He cast one quick glance over his shoulder at me before he sank his teeth deep into Phoenix’s neck and began to drink.

            “NO!” I was incensed; I had no control over my body’s reaction. My feet kicked out and I heard the shin bone of one of my captors break. I elbowed, clawed, and bit anything within reach, my eyes never once leaving my son’s face.

            “We can’t hold him!” Demetri grunted. My eyes flickered for a moment to an uncharacteristically panicked Aro. Suddenly, a cold peal of laughter rang out.

            “Oh, brother, stop a moment,” Jane giggled. “Stop and look at him. Look at brave Nataniel _cry_.” Alec looked up and grinned, Phoenix’s blood dripping down his chin.

            “Why don’t you leave the boy?” Jane suggested, her eyes brightening. “And you three, let him go. Let’s see what Daddy Nathan can do.” Alec retreated, taking his fog with him and Phoenix let out a scream, his eyes so far back no blue was visible. I knew what he was feeling; I knew how the venom was burning him.

           Aeva responded to the sound, flipping onto her stomach and dragging herself toward him. The men holding me seemed reluctant to follow Jane’s orders, but I let out an almighty growl and it seemed to convince them. I was at Phoenix’s side in an instant and I fitted my teeth into Alec’s bite mark and began to drink. I sucked the sickly sweet venom back into my mouth and spit it on the ground, going back over and over.

            “Go, Nathan, go!” Jane shrieked. Suddenly Phoenix was screaming louder than ever and thrashing so hard, I could barely hold him without hurting him. Aeva’s hand was scrabbling against my leg as she reached us, her vivid red eyes wide open and staring at her writhing son.

            “Stop Jane!” I begged, spitting more venom onto the floor. “Jane, please, stop! He’s just a child! JANE, STOP!”

            “Stop,” Aro commanded. Jane snorted indignantly, but Phoenix’s writhing settled a small bit, and I knew she was no longer adding her torture to the one he was already enduring. As soon as she let up, I tasted blood in my mouth and spit the last of Alec’s venom to the floor. Phoenix stopped moving, but continued to cry.

            “D-daddy,” he sobbed. His voice cracked from his screaming, and it was so faint. I shifted him, cradling his little body in my arms, and began to rock back and forth. He was bleeding all over me and there was nothing I could do. I clamped my hand over the bite mark, but there was no chance of stemming the flow; Alec had sunk his teeth deep into an artery.

            “Oh, Phoenix,” I whispered, shaking with dry sobs and kissing his face. “Phoenix, oh god, Phoenix.”

            “M-mom,” He choked, coughing on his own blood. “Mommy.”

            “She’s here,” I cooed, taking Aeva’s hand off my leg so that Phoenix could hold it. “We’re both here. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” His eyelids were fluttering now and his heart beat was fading fast. He clung to Aeva’s fingers with one hand, but extended the other up. I bowed my head, pressing my cheek to his tiny palm. His fingers searched for a moment before they came to rest on my mouth.

            “Oh, Phoenix,” I sobbed, watching his eyes close. “I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you so much.” He patted my mouth and, with one shuddering breath, he was gone.

           An agony the likes of which I’d never known shook me to my very core and I let out a wail, hugging the empty shell that was my son. This was worse than the first time I thought I lost him; this was new. It cut so much deeper, shredding and tearing me to bits as it went. My son was gone and I was sobbing so hard it hurt. I just rested my cheek on his soft dark hair and held him as gently as I ever had.

            “You’re pathetic,” Jane hissed. “Look at what these humans have brought you to. You’re weak, Nataniel. _Worthless_.”

            “And what a horrid, horrid waste,” Alec sighed, shaking his head. “You’ve let him bleed to death. I would have liked to have finished him.”

            “ALEC!” Jane shrieked. No one else seemed sure of what had happened but I had seen it all. Alec had barely finished his last sentence when Aeva had sprung up from the floor and grabbed him by the head. She was off the ground with her feet on his chest as she attacked his face, stabbing out his eyes with her finger nails. He screamed in terror and pain and his mist shot out from him as he attempted to subdue her. Instead, he was the one that went limp and fell to the floor like a rag doll. Aeva didn’t miss a beat and dug her fingernails deep into his chest, dragging them down and tearing his skin like a leopard on a tree.

            “NO!” Jane screamed, diving at Aeva’s back. Aeva whirled around just in time to land a well-aimed kick squarely in Jane’s face. The force was such that Jane went sprawling to the ground and had to stagger back to her feet, her nose reemerging from her skull. She looked at Aeva for a fraction of a second before she collapsed, screaming in agony as she was mauled by some unseen attacker.

           Aeva growled, jamming both hands into Alec’s mouth. Jane’s eyes went wide as Alec’s fog dispersed and he blinked his damaged eyes back into focus just in time for Aeva to give an almighty pull, cleanly tearing jaw from jaw.

           There was commotion from the far side of the room and I looked over just in time to see Viktor scrambling to his feet, apparently having been released. The battle had happened so quickly that the other guard members were only just starting to react.

            “Get her out of here!” I screamed at my father. Viktor lunged and caught Aeva around her waist just before Felix’s hands closed around her and they vanished instantly. If anyone had needed further proof that Alec was dead, they got it when he disappeared with them. Viktor could only move one other living thing at a time.

           Jane screamed in rage and suddenly I was on fire. I threw my head back and slammed myself to the ground, writhing as Jane’s flames ripped through my body.

            “Nataniel!”

           Viktor had returned right beside me and I pressed Phoenix’s limp body into his outstretched hands. Demetri grabbed my arm and I kicked my father back, shouting, “Go!” He disappeared as Felix swung at him and Jane increased the intensity of her attack.

            “Jane, enough!” Aro barked and my burning ceased. “Move quickly, dear one.” I felt fingers clench my hair and looked up to see Renata’s terrified eyes staring down at me. Viktor couldn’t find me if she was near; this did not bode well.

            “Move him, now,” Aro snapped. The entire guard fell on me then, jerking my limbs into a spread-eagle position. They didn’t have Alec to immobilize me anymore, so they went about it the old-fashioned way. I tried and failed to hold in my screams as my right arm was wrenched from my body. They took my legs next and then Demetri slid my left arm around his neck, using it to haul me up. Renata’s fingers shifted to clench the back of my shirt as they hurried from the room. Viktor would find nothing but a pool of venom if he came looking for me. Renata’s shield wouldn’t allow him to save me.

           I was not taken to my living quarters, but down into the deeper levels. Long, long ago, when the Volturi were newly in power and needed to show mercy to gain respect, they had kept prisoners. It was into one of these ancient cells I was thrown. The bricks of these cells had been mixed with the blood of the slaughtered moon walkers so that they could only be broken by a vampire at the height of his strength. Demetri threw me down on the stone floor and my severed limbs were dropped beside me. I was decisively _not_ at the height of my strength.

            “You are blessed this day, for we still follow the old ways, Nataniel,” Caius piqued, peering down at me. I was shocked he had followed me down this far; it appeared all three of the brothers had.

           The old way Caius was referring to was the fact that my left arm was still in its socket. It was a sign of respect to leave a vampire with some means by which to reassemble itself. It had seemed reasonable to me when they had first explained it nearly 300 years ago, but on the receiving end of the treatment, _respect_ was not the word that came to mind. I sat up, refusing to flinch at the searing pain in my open joints, snarling at my captors.

            “We regret that our offering did not go as planned,” Aro sighed, a flicker of irritation on his youthful features. He’d meant to punish me, break my spirit if he could. I would have bet anything that the next step in his plan would have been to sequester Aeva away, refusing to let me see her until I gave him a Halfling. He had not expected killing my child to have had such dire effects; he had never thought my mate might pose a threat to his guard. “The terms of your release, however, remain unchanged. You have exceptional self-control, Nataniel. We ask that you exercise this wondrous ability as a final parting act in our relationship.”

            “Do take some time to think it over,” Caius said, a cruel smirk on his face.

            “But for your own sake decide quickly, dear one,” Aro added, his usual affected gentleness gone from his voice. “It is the only thing I want from you.” This lie echoed in my head and I saw the image he’d painted in his head of his hand on my bare stomach while I stood beside his throne with Aeva dead on the ground. I felt sick and certain he’d not shared this particular fantasy with anyone else. Caius glared at me and Marcus said nothing, staring boredly as the venom leaking from my hips soaked into the bottom of his robes.

            “Let us take our leave,” Aro announced, turning on his heel and passing out of the cell. Caius and Marcus followed, dragging a slick, wet trail behind them. Demetri and Felix closed ranks behind the brothers, but Jane paused. She glared down at me and I met her gaze, expecting her torture again. Instead, she spat on my face and stalked away. Chelsea closed the heavy door, but I did not hear Renata leave. She would be guarding me to keep Viktor away.

           The cell had no bars or windows; only damp walls and the thick, steel door. There was no light, but it didn’t matter; I could still see. I dragged my legs into their proper positions, spitting on the ragged ends before pressing them back against the places they’d been torn from. I hissed at the searing pain. Reattachment was not a pleasant process, but at least my own venom wouldn’t leave scars. I pressed my right arm back into its socket and laid flat on my back, grinding my teeth through the agony of healing. I had lost a massive amount of venom; when that happened to a vampire, it was imperative that they feed to replenish their stores. I felt my lost lifeblood soaking into my clothes and I started to understand Aro’s plan. He was still going to break my will and the simplest way to do that was to wait until the animal inside me snuffed it out.

           I closed my eyes and willed my body not to sob, knowing how much the shaking would hurt. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t stop it from bursting forth. They’d changed my wife, they’d killed my son, and now they were going to starve me. They still wanted a Halfling from me; they wanted to inflict me upon some mortal woman to earn my freedom.

           My only solace was that Aeva was safe. Viktor too. They were together. If nothing else, they could care for each other.

           My quivering attempts at silver linings shattered as quickly as I formed them.

           They’d killed my son.

           He’d died in my arms.

           I had failed him, I had failed Aeva, and I would fail again. It was only a matter of time and I knew it.

           Starve a dog long enough and it will accept any food you offer.

           Feed a starving dog and it will obey.


End file.
